Perempuan dari neraka

"Siapa call dari tadi lagi?"

"Kak Zara"

"Block je la. Lepas tu left group"

"Kita dah explain tapi acam still tak puas hati"

"Ara kawin dengan abang bukan bermaksud siapa-siapa boleh maki-hamun Ara suka-suka hati. Yang Ara biar diri kena maki kenapa? Setakat jadi tempat makan maki tak payah ada ipar bagai pun tak rugi. Macam besar sangat sejuta laki dia tu. Boleh buat apa dengan sejuta?"

_

"Dah block?"

"Dah"

"Dah left group?"

"Dah"

"Kalau dia nak datang ambil laki dia, biar dia ambil. Kita tak payah halang. Nak hantar memang tak dapat la bukan dekat"

_

"Kalau dia orang add tak payah dah masuk mana group. Bangsat-bangsat ni mana reti hidup berkeluarga"

"………"

"Datang satu perempuan habis kacau-bilau. Menyesal betul abang suruh Ocio kawin dengan dia"

"Abang tak salah. Abang kan tak tahu perangai dia"

"Tak bercakap sangat pun"

_

"Abang…dahlah. Jangan marah-marah"

"Melampau. Tak habis-habis masalah dia. Tak sudah-sudah dengan duit"

Tulip

"Awal balik?"

"Kerja dah habis. Call dah banyak masuk. Customer walk in pun ada. Yang mesej boleh tahan ramai. Lega sikit rasa"

_

"Semalam tak tidur. Abang masuk gym…hmm…macam mana nak keluarkan benda dalam otak kita…"

"Dekat gym pendek aje seluar. Cekci"

"Ara ngendap eh?"

"Takkkk"

_

"Abang tak tahu nak buat apa. Nak mengadap kerja tak larat. Nak baca buku tak ada mood. Stres"

"Sekarang? Okey?"

"Entahlah"

_

"Abang letih, nak tidur tak boleh. Hmmm…"

"Kita siapkan mandian, lepas berendam abang try tidur. Nak cuba?"

"Okey…"

_

"Tulip mmm?"

"Ha lupa pulak"

"Thank you!"

_

"Good night, abang"

"Harap dapat tidur"

_

Tak tidur juga.

Selamat malam, dunia

Keluar gelap, balik pun gelap. Hari ini sampai rumah 11:28 malam. Keluar tadi sebelum Subuh. Esok penerbangan jam 9 pagi. Anak-anak sudah tidur. Isteri masih setia menunggu walau sudah tersengguk-sengguk menahan kantuk. Begitulah adat berkerja dan berumah tangga. Hari ini hari yang bahagia — dapat buat enam jualan. Rezeki isteri dan anak-anak. Masa semakin laju, segalanya bergerak pantas — termasuklah usia kita.

Selamat malam, dunia. Alhamdulillah untuk semuanya. 

Choosing to love someone from afar, hoping them to be loved better than the way you can love them hits different. We just have to admit that some things are not for us, that bright stars are just meant to be loved from afar.

— Maria Gracia

Akhlak

"Yelah, manjang cakap pasal tujuan hidup and agama. Acam, kita fahamlah awak Islamik tapi kan acam"

"Islamik tak penting. Kalau nak pilih pasangan, pilihlah yang berakhlak tentu dia beragama. Kalau pilih beragama, belum tentu berakhlak. Tengok ramai ustaz pandai serba-serbi. Mengaji tahu, solat tak tinggal, hukum fasih tapi akhlak terburai"

"Setuju"

September

Awak... baliklah pada saya semula...

(17 September 2014)

_

It’s 1:53 AM on September 27, 2024. I just returned from work, took a long cold shower, and I'm doing some laundry. While hanging the clothes, I remembered when you said, "I'm sorry for everything, abang." I paused; I had no words. I’m not sure why that moment suddenly came to mind. After three days of long hours at work without returning to my room, I’m exhausted but can't sleep. You’re on my mind. I really miss your voice. Would it be okay if I called you just to hear you  breathe, without saying anything? I’m fine with that. I don’t know how to stop longing for you or wanting you. I don’t know how to stop missing you or thinking about you. It feels like I’m searching for you everywhere I go, and this feeling is really overwhelming. How are you, sayang? Are you doing okay? How’s your pregnancy?

Talking to you has been the best part of my whole year.

(September 27, 2024)

_

You don’t need to apologize. You never wronged me, and you never owed me anything. You chose a better path, a life with good possibilities and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s only me who can’t fully let go, because you will always remain someone special in my heart. Last year, even if just for a moment, I was grateful when you said hi after so many years. Saying goodbye is painful, but perhaps it’s what we must accept. Some people, after parting, count the days until they meet again. But not us. There’s nothing to count. Life keeps us apart. It’s risky, and we are weary of secrecy. My chest feels heavy. Sleep will not come. So I turn to the song you once gave me—You Are The Reason by Alexandra Porat. Thank you… for the song, and for the memory of you.

(September 21, 2025)

Maybe

This year, I hardly watch YouTube. Today, while waiting for my flight, I opened it to listen to a song. I searched for an Arabic song and found many belly dance videos. I watched one for a while, then skipped ahead and finally closed it. The women, yes, Arab women, looked very attractive (though not for me), and their movements were quite revealing. I felt uneasy, so I decided to change the song. I couldn’t find anything that matched my mood, so I closed the tab and read poetry instead.

I remind myself to lower my gaze and keep practising this for many years. I think I have lost interest in other women.

Maybe I’m just tired or worn out. I’m not sure.

Mumbai, India

20.09.2025

Ara

"Ara…abang dah balik"

"Abang…sekarang pukul berapa?"

"10:15. Abang ada urusan tu lambat sikit"

"Dah makan?"

"Belum"

_

"Sedapnya"

"Kerja okey?"

"Okey. Ara okey?"

"Okey"

"Kembar buat hal?"

"Luqman tidur dalam mesin basuh"

"Laaa"

_

"Flight lepas Subuh. Sempatlah nak rehat kejab"

"Penatnya. Kenapa tak stay sana?"

"Ara cakap masak sedap. Kalau abang tak balik, penat Ara masak"

"Alaa takpe je"

"Memang niat abang nak berulang. Minggu depan Ara dah masuk kerja kan"

_

"Abang…"

"Hmm"

"Terima kasih tau kerja keras untuk keluarga kita"

"Terima kasih selalu mudahkan urusan abang. Kalau tak sebab Ara, tak mudah semuanya"

"Tidurlah, bang"

"Rapat sikit"

"…………"

"Abang handsome, kan?"

"Sempat"

_

"Abang? Mimpi?"

"Ha…sakit dada"

*gosok dada*

"Sakit…"

"Tarik nafas perlahan-lahan, sayang…"

"Ra…"

"Abang mimpi apa?"

"Sakit Ra…"

Goreng

"Hi babe"

"Tigerrrrr. How’s it going? Everything okay?"

"Yeayyyyyy! Buyer setuju beli!"

"Hats off, darling!"

"Aaaaaaaaa debar. Cemas semua cukup macam tunggu anak lahir"

"I'm happy for you. Come home, I'll cook your favourite meal"

"Ra, terima kasih"

"Sama-sama. Hati-hati tau"

_

"Hai maharani"

"Happy dia"

"Mansion dah ada orang nak beli. Isnin dia hantar loan"

"Tahniah, abang!"

"Dia minat betul. Sejam la jugak abang goreng"

"Hangus tak?"

"Separa hahahaha"

Panggilan telefon

20/9

Hilang graviti

"Memang tak ada kerja eh? Pagi-pagi dah kacau punggung abang"

"Geram hihihi"

_

"Sandwich?"

"Tak nak. Roti putih tak elok makan"

"Sejak bila?"

"Dulu lagi"

"Nak ke tak nak?"

"Buat je la kalau nak buat"

_

"Kata buat sandwich?"

"Tak nak astu tanya"

"Tapi ni lagi sedap. Huuu sedapnya bau"

_

"Bukan ada orang. Duduk je la"

"Abang okey?"

"Bini atas riba tak okey apa"

_

"Kenapa sedap sangat?"

"Sedap, kan? Resepi baru"

"Bukan tu. Bekas bibir Ara"

*muka merah*

_

"Jadi ke bentuk bunga?"

"Sweet sangat bahaya tau"

"Kenapa?"

"Kita hilang graviti hihihi"

_

"Ra"

"Abang? Nak kopi?"

"Tak. Nak menari"

_

"Abang okey?"

"Okey"

"Bahasa German apa eh I miss you?"

"I miss you, too…"

_

"Bang, phone"

"Work can wait"

"Work first, honey"

"Don’t worry. I just want this moment…to last a little longer…"

_

"Tak ada bunga. Tak jumpa kedai. Lain kali abang cari"

"Takpe, bang. Bunga lukis dah cantik"

"Pen Ara bagi tu best. Kenapa zaman U dulu Ara tak ada? Kalau tak, senang sikit abang nak lukis teknikal"

_

"Petang kita pergi mancing nak?"

"Abang tak kerja?"

"Mana-mana boleh bukak laptop"

_

"Pancing hati Ara lagi senang dari pancing ikan"

"Bila orang tak menyabar pergi pancing. Belum.20 minit, bang. Sabarlah"

"Ikan dah cerdik kot"

"Hihihi bebel aje dia tak dapat ikan"

_

"Bang"

"Hmm…"

"Kita nak masak, kan?"

"Bukan ganggu pun"

_

"Ara masuk. Abang kemas dapur"

"Mmm…tak nak…"

"Peluk kuat sikit"

"…………"

"Haaaaaaa"

"Cuci aje eh. Tak kacau pun, kan"

"Tangan tu haa"

"Apa mmm?"

"Hehehehe"

_

"Kita nak mandi"

"Skodeng hahaha"

"Haip!"

_

"Kita tunggu atas, abang tak naik"

"Dah suam, boleh minum"

"Thanks, love. Abang buat apa?"

"Reply email"

"Sale dah masuk?"

"Ada orang nak tengok kilang. Esok abang kerja"

"That’s wonderful, sayang. Confirmed, it’s yours"

"Amiin"

_

"Duduk la sini"

"Tiger"

"Hmm?"

"You’re intelligent, handsome, and irresistibly dashing. Keep growing. Never lose heart"

*peluk*

_

"Jom. Abang dah ngantuk"

"Abang…"

"Semua dah tidur?"

"Ha'a"

"Nak dukung?"

"Mesti laaa"

_

"Hilangkan letih abang, boleh?"

"Anything that makes you happy"

_

"Hehehehe"

"Hihihihihi"

_

"Abang…"

"Tidur, Ra. Belum Subuh"

"Abang nak pergi mana?"

"Mandi. Hari ni abang kerja"

_

"Bang, acam malas nak jalan tapi nak ikut abang. Dukung"

"Meh. Berat macam guni beras"

"Ey!"

"Hehehehe"

_

"Ambil wuduk. Kita solat"

"Acam mmmmmm"

"Ara, wuduk cepat"

_

"Semoga Allah membalas sebaik-baik kurnia buatmu duhai isteri"

*peluk*

_

"Tak payah buat bekal pun tak apa. Lepas Subuh abang boleh makan dekat airport"

"Simple breakfast aje"

"Abang pergi dulu"

"Kerja"

"Ha, abang pergi kerja dulu"

*peluk*

I'm sorry…

"I just want you to see me and the life we’re growing together. I’m here, choosing you every day. Please start choosing me too. Not only with your presence, but with your whole heart. Come home to me"

"Ara?"

"Sorry, abang…just…penat…pendam"

"Faham…"

"I just want to be your home, abang"

_

"Jangan bebel. Abang tak larat. Dada sakit, kepala pening"

"Every night you stayed up, and I know you cried"

"Abang faham apa Ara cakap petang tadi"

"Nak call doktor?"

"Abang letih…letih sangat. Kepala pusing. Abang nak tidur tapi mata degil. Ara jangan marah abang malam ni. Dada abang berat…"

"Kita pergi hospital, nak?"

"Tak nak…"

Cinta Sesungguhnya

 

Trust Him

Working from home today. Sales are still stuck, but we’ve decided to focus on the next project. The remaining units will continue to sell alongside the new one. Nothing to worry about, nothing to stress over. The company has already made a profit from this project — not much, but Alhamdulillah. Every matter is within Allah’s knowledge; He is Al-‘Alīm. Every khayr is a protection from Allah. Our rizq is in His hands, I must place my trust in Him.

I played games with my kids today and had so much fun. For a while, I forgot about problems — and truly, problems are not meant to drag us down, but to raise us higher. Patience is the key. India has such a large market. The young strive hard for a better life, but here, work-life balance hardly exists. Staff are easily replaced. You must always give your very best, as every company seeks candidates who are not only skilled, but also competitive and resilient. 

It’s normal here to send office reports even on holidays, and the office will still call you on your day off. In my company, I made a rule that no one should disturb employees after working hours. Singaporeans and Japanese also practice this, though in both countries, employees hustle very hard. Japan may lack work-life balance, but they uphold excellent work ethics. Enough about work. It’s time to put everything aside and spend time with the kids.

Time cannot be undone

You said a decade ago that I didn’t know you. Maybe I never knew you well. And yes, he surely knows you — from the day he captured your heart. I wish life had treated me better. I just want a good life without sleepless nights. I want a normal routine like everyone else. From the day you left me, my sleep lost its path. He treats you well. You love him unconditionally, he loves you wholeheartedly. But why am I the one who can’t close my eyes to rest while both of you sleep soundly? Is the price of my useless love the loss of my sleep? I want to sleep like you. You never had trouble sleeping, not even a decade ago. It isn’t fair, is it? If I had known that love at a young age would hurt this much, I would have kept everything inside. If I had known love would be this painful, I would never have tried to win your heart. But time cannot be undone.

Singa

"Singa, turun. Abang ada bawah"

"Ye ye aje"

"Turun la"

"Betul ke?"

_

"Abangggg. Tak cakap pun"

"Tak ada kerja sangat, baik balik tengok bini lawa"

"Jab tau kita pakai tudung"

_

"Tambah, bang"

"Boleh. Ara tak nak makan?"

"Makan abang hihihi"

_

"Bini urut terus letih"

"Mengada tau"

_

"Hiyaaaaa! Mandi jom!"

"Kejab, bang"

"Jom!"

"Sabar, bang. Tuala"

"Berat maintain. Pandai jaga badan"

"Mesti laaa"

_

"Thanks, abang"

"Aummmmm"

Complicated

"Astu dah sayang sangat"

"Tak nak la abang. Kang dia patah balik dengan laki dia macam mana?"

"Padan muka abang. Nak sangat kan"

_

"Astu kata sayang astu tak percaya ke acam mana?"

"Hahahahaha"

"Gelak-gelak. Stres tau kita"

"Dah Ara stres kenapa?"

"Abang tu. Ingat Kajang aje"

"Bila abang ingat dia? Ara yang cakap"

"Nak kena rebus ke?"

"Amboi! Dah pandai rebus orang sekarang"

"Geram eh"

_

"Tak percaya abang sayang Ara?"

"Kita tak kisah abang skandal. No Kajang"

"Ye ke tak kisah?"

"Kisah"

"Habis tu?"

"Kenapa orang laki tak reti move on? Tak rasa bodoh ke?"

"Rasa jugak"

"Astu?"

"Entah"

_

"Report dah siap belum?"

"Belummmmm"

"Kan nak pergi kerja dah"

"Malas. Laki takde auto malas. Malasssss sesangat"

"Bila nak buat?"

"Abang buat kan, boleh tak?"

"Bak sini"

_

"Krik krik je tak ada client. Site lain okey. Belum siap dah licin"

"Wahhhhh! Tahniah, husband"

"Sini slow sikit. Kena highlight lebih kot"

"Kita ase laju. Abang tak menyabar"

"Cukup sabar dah ni tak mengamuk. Kalau tak, PC pun terbang"

"Abang tu dah tua. Jangan marah-marah"

"Nasib bini lawa. Tengok pun sejuk hati"

"Kononnnnnn. Dekat rumah apa aje tak lempar"

"Ey budak. Nak kena baling?"

"Nampak?"

"Hahahahaha"

"When you're upset, even a small sound makes the plate fly. The kids are scared. I feel the same too"

"Ra…sorry…abang cuba baiki…tak janji tapi abang cuba"

"This year abang tak mara-mara. Tapi tu la, kita terfikir nape eh abang tak mengamuk acam selalu"

"Ngamuk takut. Tak ngamuk, tanya"

"Kita kan complicated acam abang"

Panggilan telefon

17/9

Kualiti kerja

Semalam, bila aku sampai office, staf terkejut. Mereka tahu puncanya. Aku bayar gaji yang tinggi dan aku harapkan prestasi yang terbaik. Malangnya, mereka tak perform. Di kebanyakan masa, kalau di cawangan lain, aku pecat sahaja staf yang gagal berikan kualiti kerja yang memuaskan. Motto aku mudah, kau tak perform — tak ada tempat di sini. Aku tawarkan insentif dan komisyen yang tinggi, tapi aku kejar masa. Time is everything. Fokus yang terlalu lama pada satu-satu projek akan memberikan impak kepada projek yang lain. Syarikat ini kecil — setiap bulan hanya kendalikan 3 projek sahaja. Staf pula cuma 20 orang. Ya, kecil saja.

Bila aku sampai, aku nampak mereka sudah burnout dan keletihan. Tak sampai hati pula nak marah walhal hati panas. Bagi aku, kerja menjual ini mudah tapi bagi sesetengah orang sangat susah. Aku semak data —patutlah lambat. Ada dalam kalangan staf tiada langsung  closing sell — bukan seorang dua. Petangnya, selepas waktu pejabat, aku bawa mereka keluar makan. Sambil makan, aku tanya tentang prospek yang batalkan di saat akhir —tentang masalah yang mereka hadapi. Aku tanyakan juga tentang  prospek yang berminat, tapi belum buat keputusan. Dalam pemasaran, produk bukanlah satu-satunya kayu ukur untuk lariskan jualan. 

Usai makan, mereka pulang ke rumah masing-masing. Staf aku di sini masih muda. Majoritinya penghujung 20-an dan awal30-an. Aku tak mahu apabila mereka balik ke rumah, masalah di tempat kerja mempengaruhi kehidupan peribadi mereka. Aku tak mahu apabila mereka di marahi di tempat kerja — pasangan menjadi mangsa. Aku rasa, sebagai majikan, aku ada kuasa untuk mengubah keadaan dan tidak mengeruhkannya lagi. Masalah di tempat kerja selalunya memberi kesan yang mendalam kepada kehidupan peribadi seseorang. Sekurang-kurangnya, mereka balik ke rumah dalam keadaan tenang dan tidak rungsing. 

Masalah di tempat kerja pernah mempengaruhi hubungan peribadi aku. Mungkin, hanya mungkin (dan tentunya terdapat faktor lain) tekanan di tempat kerja ibarat mental torture yang tak berkesudahan — aku yang menjadi mangsa. Aku menunggu seharian suntuk  — dalam beberapa hari termanggu-manggu cuba memahami apa yang sedang berlaku walaupun jauh di sudut hati — aku tahu — ada lelaki lain. Aku diamkan saja — tunggu empunya diri yang buka cerita. Telahan aku betul. “When a man ignores you, he is focused on his mission. When a woman ignores you, she is already entertaining someone else.”

September 16, 2025

Bangalore, Kartanaka, India

11 p.m

It’s 11 p.m. and I’ve just come back from the office. I’m feeling very tired and sleepy. Since morning, I only had a bowl of oats and three cups of coffee. My secretary bought me biryani, green tea, aloo gobi, and naan, but I didn’t have much appetite. I only ate the aloo gobi with some naan and drank the green tea. Now I just hope I can get some good sleep tonight.

September 16, 2025

Bangalore, Kartanaka, India

Jangan curang

"Yes, babe. Anything?"

"Garangnyaaaa. Spot check jab. Dekat mana tu?"

"Office"

"Sexytery ada ke tu?"

"Tak ada"

"Dia pergi mana tu?"

"Kenapa, Ra?"

"Jangan mencurang dengan sec tau"

"Iye"

_

"Ye, Ra. Ada apa?"

"Dah makan?"

"Belum"

"Sembahyang?"

"Dah"

"Masjid?"

"Ye"

"Dengan siapa?"

"Sendiri"

"Bye, B"

"Okey"

_

"Balik awal tau"

"Yes ma'am"

_

"Ha"

"Dah balik?"

"Dah"

"Makan apa?"

"Green tea + aloo gobi + naan"

"Perut okey?"

"Sakit"

"Lambat makan?"

"Iye"

"Jantung okey?"

"Tak sangat"

"Nadi?"

"Awak peguam ke doktor?"

"I'm your wife"

"Laju"

_

"Bang, dah mandi?"

"Dah"

"Mengaji?"

"Tak. Baca tafsir. Surah At-Taubah"

"Sleep, please?"

"Okey"

_

"You good?"

"Sakit dada"

"Sesak nafas?"

"Tak"

"Relaks, okey?"

"Okey"

Panggilan telefon

16/

Penat

"Tengok graf"

"Tak penat?"

"Penat"

"Astu tak nak tidur?"

"Sale ni hmm"

"Abang jugak ajar serah pada Allah. Acam this time abang lain aje"

"Apa lain?"

"Abang…not everything is in our hands. If it’s your rizq, it’ll be yours"

"Tahu"

"Abang ingat tak apa Saidina Umar cakap?"

"Ingat"

"Relaks, abang. Badan abang sakit. Do learn to rest, okay?"

"Ara tidur dulu"

"Tengok tu. Abang push macam mana pun, rezeki di tangan Allah"

"Abang tak boleh tidur…otak fikir"

"Berapa nadi tu?"

"Laju"

"Astu pergi lari. Kalau pengsan macam mana?"

"Okey. Abang cuba tidur"

"Jantung okey?

"Sakit"

Panggilan telefon,

September, 2025

Bismillah

After a 10KM run, I sat for a while, taking deep breaths, listening to Guns N’ Roses, and jotting down a few notes. I paused for a drink, finishing a bottle of plain water. Thirty minutes later, I walked off to take a cold shower, and about forty-five minutes after that, I performed wudu and prayed salah.

Now it’s time to analyze the market and restructure the main strategy, hoping tomorrow will bring more closed deals. This is a new project. My first attempt at something like this and I am certain it will succeed. It just needs time and patience. I did not scold the team today.

Let me contemplate. Bismillah.

Burung hantu merah jambu

 

Salah fokus

A rigid feet-first fall (like a pole-vaulter) would cause facial trauma — but Zara’s fall involved immediate rotation after feet impact.

• This is a hybrid sequence:

Feet-first impact → rapid backward rotation → left-side collapse

"Landed on her left foot, followed closely by the right... then fell backward, predominantly onto her left side." (Dr. Jessie Hiu)

This explains:

• Why feet were injured (direct impact)
• Why face was spared (rotation shielded anterior face),
• Why occiput/head was injured (posterior impact during rotation).
• Calcaneal fractures are pathognomonic for feet-first landing (e.g., jumping from height, falling from ladder).
• Absence of facial fractures (face shielded during rotation)

Mistake: Treating "back-first" as the only way to spare the face, while ignoring that feet-first + rotation also spares the face and explains the lower limb injuries.

_

"Bang, nak nota teori jatuh ri tu"

"Dah delete"

"Alaaa nak"

"Tak ada"

"Kenapa delete?"

"Kemas phone tengok benda tak guna, buang"

"Alaaa buat la nota"

"Ara buat la sendiri"

"Astu kita kawin. Laki ada, kan?"

_

"Dah siap"

"Pendek je"

"Fokus yang penting. Abang dah tahu kenapa abang silap"

"Apa?"

"Abang fokus kecederaan muka. Ada satu benda apa entah, cedera kalau jatuh. Ala Ara baca sendiri"

"Comel"

"Ha dah. Jangan kacau abang kerja. Benda sikit je pun tapi macam 500"

"Sabar, bang. Bukan jual jeruk. Semua nak laju"

"Ye la fast selling tu penting"

"Mamat marketing ni kan. Marah nau lambat close deal. Mengamuk aje dia"

"Orang nak cepat. Bye, Ara"

"Acam tu aje"

"Ha. Bye. Call nanti"

Panggilan telefon

September, 2025

Kembar

Daddy: Buat apa tu?

Raysha: Sunbathing

Daddy: Amboi. Kecik-kecik dah pandai sunbathing

_

Hasha: Daddy! Daddy!

Daddy: Daddy ada sini

Hasha: Pasu pecah

Daddy: Kenapa? Hasha langgar? Kenapa Hasha tak brek?

Hasha: Asha lupa

Daddy: Laa. Nasib tak luka

_

Daddy: Banyaknya batu. Nak buat apa ni?

Daneal: For science!

Daddy: Okey. Jangan letak merata. Terpijak sakit

Daneal: Where from?

Daddy: It depends. Some stones come from mountains, some from rivers, some from the ground

Daneal: Can I sell?

Daddy: Boleh, tapi bukan yang ni. Kita kena cari batu jenis lain. Bagus. Kecik-kecik dah fikir duit

Headache

I’ve been exhausted from keeping my focus since August. After a short holiday in Kuala Lumpur, I flew to Toronto to fetch my brother and his kids, and even then the team still couldn’t manage to sell all the units. Yesterday, I set foot in the Maldives; this morning, I was already back on a two-hour flight to the office. Everyone looked drained, stuck in the same circle, unable to trace the fault line where each deal kept slipping away. Each missed closing felt like another step further from the targets we had set. 

In the evening, I took them out for dinner—biryani and steaming masala tea. We spoke, we shared, and for a while their faces softened. When it was over, they went home to rest. I broke my fast with nothing more than a glass of barley water and a bowl of chicken soup. My appetite was gone. The headache and chest pain—lingering now for more than two weeks. I lay down, hoping for forty winks, but sleep refused to come. I rose, showered, dressed, and laced my running shoes. The targets were still waiting.

Promise

"Ra, abang dah sampai. Eh semalam Ara minta ke? Abang baru perasan. Adoi. Kejab lagi abang baliklah"

"Kita offer aje, tak minta. Abang kan jauh berjalan"

"Balik bini nak layan tapi sibuk tengok sale"

"No comment hihihi"

"Sorry, Ra. Abang tak perasan. Kejab lagi abang tengok kalau ada tiket"

"It's okay, abang. Kita faham"

"Ara…sorry…"

"Laki kita kan, dah dapat kerja semua dia lupa"

"Sorry. I'll make it up next time. Promise"

"Kerja, bang. Sale nak lari, kejar cepat"

"Ha hahahaha bye Ra"

"Bye, sayang"

"Bye…sayang…"

"Haip!"

"Hehehe bye"

Panggilan telefon

16/9

Jaga batas

"Biar Ocio rehat. Tenang-tenang dulu. Habis kerja nanti abang uruskan rehab dia. Ara tak boleh pergi sana. Nak hantar lauk ke apa suruh Don. Abang dah cakap dengan Ocio dia tak boleh datang sini masa abang tak ada. Anak-anak dia je boleh. Tak pun anak-anak kita pergi sana"

"Okey, faham"

"Bukan tak percaya tapi menjauhi fitnah lebih baik. Ara pun tahu abang tak suka Ara sendukkan nasi untuk laki lain. Lagikan nak bagi layan makan minum. Ringkasnya, tak kisahlah Ocio sakit ke, pengsan ke, apa ke, Ara tak boleh pergi sana. Dah ada orang jaga dia dekat rumah tu. Makanan dari rumah kita tapi Ara tak boleh bungkuskan. Suruh orang lain buat. Ara boleh handle anak-anak dia je. Clear?"

"Clear"

"Ara isteri yang baik. Ocio pun laki yang baik tapi abang suami. Sebab tu abang dah asingkan Ocio. Ara tak ada beban nak tengok-tengokkan dia. Ara urus anak kita je"

Kerja

"Tengok kita pun tak nak"

"Abang tengah kemas baju. Esok nak pergi kerja"

"Mata pandang skrin"

"Ye la tengok sale. Baru gerak satu"

"Kejarkan apa? Date line?"

"Sale. Tak ada date line"

"Astu?"

"Ra, tepi. Jangan diri depan tu"

"Astu apa?"

_

"When we are selling, we want everything to be fast. Quick deals, quick sales, quick payments, quick processing"

"Fast and furious nau"

"Laju sale, laju duit masuk. Kita nak move projek lain. Bila menjual tak boleh lama-lama simpan barang. Nanti susah. Peguam mana faham. Cakap 60 minit pun kena bayar 700/800 ringgit"

"Faham la. Cepat, kan?"

"Foreplay je lambat-lambat hahahahahaha"

"Eeeeeee!"

_

"Abang nak kita tak?"

"Ha?"

"Nak kita tak? Kalau tak nak, kita nak tidur"

"Okey, pergi tidur"

"Agak dah. Concentrate sangat"

_

"Bang, jom tidur"

"Ha. Kejab"

_

"Abang tengok apa?"

"Tak ada apa"

"Tak dapat PC, laptop pun boleh"

"Tak tengok dah"

"Tidur, bang"

_

"Abang…"

"Ha"

"Fikir kerja mmm?"

"Haah"

"Bangunlah. Buat kerja tu"

"Boleh?"

"Boleh"

"Hee terima kasih"

Suri hati

"Marriage is where someone can't take care of their grown son so you adopt them."

"Kita acam sedih"

"Dah kenapa pulak?"

"Kita baca quote kita bagi abang tu astu"

"Astu?"

"Orang kan cerita anak mak mentua la apa la. Kita acam sedih…abang takde mak…"

"Oooo"

"Arwah Mak garang tak?"

"Tak tahu tapi Ummi garang. Dia sound guna mata je"

"Garangnya"

"Haah…"

"Sorry…kita buat abang sedih"

"Tak pun"

_

"Kita acam rasa nak madu"

"Mula dah"

"Tak nak ke?"

"Abang tak mampu"

"Apa je tak mampu?"

"Lapar eh? Nak bihun sup?"

"Acam nak mi kari"

"Madu tak ada. Mi kari boleh"

"Heeee suami memberi, kita menerima"

_

"Nak lagi?"

"Ha'a"

"Stres?"

"Ntah la, bang"

_

"Abang ada buat salah?"

"Takde"

"Moody?"

"Tak"

_

"Abang…kita teruk tak?"

"Okey je"

"Kita acam ase teruk…"

"Kita kan manusia"

"Kita ase nak gigit-gigit abang acam binatang buas tu"

"Dah pulak"

"Bang, semua benda akan mati ke?"

"Ye la bintang pun ada expired date"

"Kita?"

"Selagi Allah panjangkan jodoh kita. Kita doa Allah tak pisahkan kita"

"Kita tak tahu nak buat apa takde abang…"

"Dunia ni, Ara…walaupun kita hidup dalam kesedihan, anehnya, kita akan selalu ingat hari-hari yang menggembirakan…macam hari kita dapat bercakap dengan orang yang kita suka…"

"……………"

"Laa dah tidur"

"Belum eh"

"Terima kasih jadi suri hati yang paling indah dalam hidup abang"

"Abang ada niat nak madukan kita ke?"

"Ha? Mana ada"

"Astu paling. Acam ramai aje"

"Bini satu pun tak larat jaga nak kawin banyak"

"Susah ke jaga kita?"

"Mana satelit? Dekat app beria kata nak lalu"

"Tak sayang kita, kan?"

"Tak tidur la aku malam ni"

Ogos, 2025

Still bleeding

13 September 2013

You received good news when you visited Korea. The news was that you were transferred to Hospital Kajang. I was so happy for you. You had been worried about your career, even making alternative plans. You wanted to pursue a Master’s degree, evening classes if I remember right. I couldn’t do much for you. Truth is, I never really did anything for you. The next year, in June, you fell in love with another man. Someone you admired. Someone who gave you everything you wanted. At that time, I was very sick—fighting late-stage cancer. Struggling with work, with cash flow, with medical bills, utilities, and the kids. None of those burdens I shared with you. You were so young, and I didn’t want to weigh you down. The pain is still here. Still bleeding. Time has not healed this wound.

Just a small note on the board… remembering the old days.

Cerita

"Abang kalau nak masuk Siam tak guna Bukit Kayu Hitam. BBNU je ikut situ. Abang ikut Pengkalan Hulu. Nak power lagi masuk Kelantan naik sampan tak payah passport. Jalan kaki pun boleh sampai"

"BBNU siap"

"Ye la. Orang lama semua masuk ikut Pengkalan Hulu. Laluan tak payah passport ikut Kelantan. Siam siap bina jeti. Lawa. Lepas kes Bae Soba Bae semua kena runtuh. Tak boleh lalu situ nanti PDRM tangkap. Masuk situ jangan pergi jauh. Lepas makan balik. Sewa motor tak payah IC, tak pakai helmet pun"

"Apasal tak pernah cerita?"

"Dah Ara nak ikut BKH. Abang follow je. Abang kan ikut cakap bini"

"Jangan Fazurakan kita eh"

"Tak boleh dah sekarang. Arahan dah keluar. Dulu baju biru tahu tapi tutup mata"

"Abang lepak Siam ke? Abang kan tak suka Siam. Abang cari apa sana?"

"Mana ada lepak Siam. Bukan ada apa pun. Rumah urut je banyak. Laki suka masuk Siam kena hati-hati hahahaha takut kaki celup je"

"Itu aje ke matlamat laki pergi Siam sana?"

"Ha la. Apa lagi. Perempuan sibuk makanan sedap. Laki nak makan lain. Ada ke jumpa laki balik Siam cerita makanan best dekat Siam dalam Facebook?"

"Acam mana kita tak tahu eh"

"Laki asal utara, tak pun yang kerja/ menetap sana boleh kata semua biasa main dengan perempuan Siam. Kebanyakan laki yang masuk Siam sama je. Dah kena urut, lentok. Tak kira bujang ke laki orang. Ada yang betul pergi ride. Banyak helah je buat alasan ride"

"Acam air buah Ganu tu, kan?"

"Pandai"

_

"Sebab tu perempuan kena jaga laki. Minta je tak nak bagi, dia cari dapur luar"

"Eleh. Jagalah acam mana pun, bang. Kalau dia nak curang, dia curang aje"

"Ramai laki kawin muda umur 40 atas. Masa ni ramai cari perempuan baru. 60, anak kecik lagi. Bini-bini yang laki nak masuk 40, ada duit, drive pulak Alphard tunggulah laki kena kebas. Perempuan muda memang mau wang tapi dia kasi manja. Dah kawin, tak ikut apa dia nak, malam tak dapat. Nak hayun mesti kena kasi wang berjuta. Dapat harta, dapatlah manja, merengek bak kata Ary menetek hahahahahahaha"

"Teruk la abang ni"

"Laki nak apa lagi. Duit dengan perempuan je. Punca laki tak dapat tiap kali mintak sebab tak ada duit. Perempuan mana nak layan laki miskin. Cuba tabur macam dedak, semua dapat. Macam tu game dia. Tabur, bukan bagi. Bagi ada had, sikit. Tabur, banyak"

"Jab kita fikir hujah balas"

_

"Nak have fun tapi pakai duit bini mana mahunya. Kalau bukan isu duit, ada harapan nak sambung tapi kalau isu duit, perempuan mesti tak nak. Kalau perangai boleh janji usaha berubah tapi kalau duit tak boleh nak janji apa"

"Have fun bini tanggung acam melampau eh"

"Kalau perempuan tinggal laki, jangan mimpi laki nak patah balik pujuk. Tapi, kalau laki yang mintak putus, ada harapan dia merangkak cari perempuan tu balik. Ara kena faham benda tu"

"Ha'a kan. Selama ni kita tak perasan"

"Perempuan boleh percaya laki nak berubah tapi kalau bab duit, dah la tu"

"Siapa yang kecewakan awak? Acam ada dendam je hihihi"

Julai, 2025

Kura-kura

"Abang letak nama dia lepas nama abang. Abang kan dah bagitahu Ara"

"Saja tanya…sayang…sangat…"

"Sekarang pun… kadang-kadang kalau beli rumah ke, tanah ke abang ada terfikir nak bagi dia. Entahlah kenapa abang rasa macam tu. Masa tu abang tak ada siapa. Abang ada dia je. Abang namakan dia sebagai penerima harta. Dia tak pernah tahu pun"

"Kita tanya je"

"Lepas dia bagitahu dia jumpa satu laki yang baik, yang nak bina hidup dengan dia, yang nak jaga dia, buat segala-galanya untuk dia…abang dah ubah penama. Dia tak ada dah"

"Mmm…"

"Zara cakap apa?"

"Dia pergi pejabat tanah. Check something"

"Gila ke apa perempuan ni. Cari harta Ocio?"

"Ha'a. Dia minta tolong kita"

"Apa lagi dia nak? Sekarang dia dekat KL?"

"Ha'a"

_

"She’s married to someone else now. Her home, her life, her plans for the future; they’re all with her husband. That’s the reality she chose. You’re not part of her present…anymore. You’re her past, a memory, not her partner"

"Ye, tahu"

"Tahu tapi rindu"

"Kenapa emo?"

"Arrrrggghhhh"

"Singa roarrrr"

"Orang dah bakulsampahkan still sayang. Tak faham kita"

"Tahu"

"Astu?"

"Ra, dia dah buang abang. Tak adanya dia nak kutip balik. Tak payahlah fikir bukan-bukan. Zara cakap apa sampai kita yang bergaduh?"

"Abang fikir la sendiri"

"Abang tak buat apa pun. Rindu?"

"Mmmm"

"Rindu sebab tu gaduh?"

"Lambat la abang ni babtu kena tinggal"

"Bukan hal penama harta?"

"Tak la. Abangggg apasal acam kura-kura tak faham? Haish!"

"Dah aku pulak yang salah"

Panggilan telefon

September, 2025

Love was never meant to be a fight for attention, a constant convincing of your worth.

August 26, 2025

Winnie-the-Pooh

"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard," said Pooh.

Piglet squeezed his paw and asked, "But what if you go away, Pooh? What if I can’t find you?"

Pooh thought for a moment, then smiled his round, gentle smile.

"Then you must always remember this: you carry me in your heart. You see, Piglet, love doesn’t stay only in the place you can touch it — it lingers in your memories, it hums in your laughter, and it rests in the quiet moments when you think of me.

Even when you can’t see me, I’ll be with you. Even when you can’t hear me, I’ll be near you. For friends don’t stop being friends just because the world grows a little wider between them."

And Piglet, who had worried himself quite small, suddenly felt a little taller — because he knew that real friendship never truly leaves, it just finds new ways to stay."

— A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

Winnie-the-Pooh

Pooh sat among the autumn leaves, paws folded, eyes lowered in thought. His honey pot was beside him, but for once, it didn’t bring the comfort it usually did.

“Strange thing,” he murmured softly to himself, “how the heaviest days leave marks that no one else can see. And yet, somehow, it is those very marks that make hearts softer, not harder.”

He traced a fallen leaf with his paw and sighed gently. “Perhaps scars aren’t proof of weakness at all, but proof that you kept going. That even when it hurt, you still chose kindness. That even when life tried to close you off, you stayed open.”

The wind rustled the branches above, as if agreeing, and Pooh felt a quiet strength stir inside him.

“It seems to me,” he thought, “that the kindest souls are often the ones who have felt the deepest aches, because they know how much a gentle word or a small act of love can mean. And maybe that’s what makes them strong—not that they’ve never been broken, but that they’ve learned how to carry their pieces with grace.”

And with that thought, Pooh smiled faintly, realizing that scars are not the end of the story. They are reminders that love, though it may hurt sometimes, is always worth giving.

— Winnie-the-Pooh

Merdeka! Merdeka! Merdeka

I brought the quads and their two brothers to join the Independence Day celebration. I hope our country keeps growing, the gap between rich and poor becomes smaller, and the government cares for everyone — not only the lower income but all levels of society. May we continue to live with pride and dignity as first-class citizens. Today is our last day in Kuala Lumpur. Time has gone by so quickly, and the holiday has ended. The kids will start school in September. Goodbye for now, Kuala Lumpur. See you next year.

Happy Independence Day, Malaysia! 🇲🇾

August 31, 2025

Hartamas

Takut

"Kalau benci boleh buat kita lupa…kita baja sampai mati rasa. Tak salah pun"

"Marah, benci, dendam"

"Tanam benci dalam hati. Lama-lama otak pun meluat"

"That's not you"

"I can be anyone. Someone you love, someone who melts your heart, someone who can destroy it completely. Someone you’ll curse with every breath, someone whose name will haunt you, whose presence will make your blood run cold. I can love someone until my soul aches for them… and I can crush them so utterly that nothing of them remains, not even a memory you’d dare to recall"

"…………"

"Dah kenapa diam?"

"You’re terrifying me, abang. Seriously. I’m just teasing"

"Sini"

"Tak nak. Takut…"

"Takut apa?"

"Takut dengan abang…"

"Laa"

"Abang tak nampak ke kita menggigil?"

"Ara, Ara. Adoi. Sorry, sorry"

"……………"

"Sorry, sayang"

"Jangan serius. Kita tak suka"

"Okey, okey"

Jun, 2025

A tale for every teacup

My favourite authors are Beatrix Potter, renowned for The Tale of Peter Rabbit, and A. A. Milne, celebrated for Winnie-the-Pooh.

Benda kotor

"Ra, benda apa tu?"

"Nenda cakap benda kotor. Abang jumpa dekat mana?"

"Peti ais. Dalam plastik kecik-kecik"

"Banyak ke?"

"Adalah jugak. Apa benda tu?"

"Keputihan perempuan"

"Ha?!"

"Nenda cakap"

"Bentuk lain je"

"Ada, bang. Kita dah Google. Sama"

_

"Ra, pagi tadi masa abang buat breakfast, nampak anak Ocio ambil benda tu letak dekat roti. Dia cakap mak dia selalu campur benda tu dengan cheese. Nak termuntah je rasa"

"Serius, bang?"

"Iye"

"Buang la semua makanan dalam esbox. Ntah pape lagi dia letak. Eee kembang tekak kita"

_

"Abang dah tanya. Ocio tak tahu benda apa. Dia tak pernah tengok"

"Dah buang ke belum?"

"Belum"

"Buang cepat, bang"

_

"Dalam peti ais ada sambal. Bau sambal tu lain"

"Lain acam mana?"

"Hmm…macam ada campur najis manusia"

"Dalam tupperware, kan?"

"Mana Ara tahu?"

"Kita pernah tanya astu dia cakap sambal Indo. Each time nak goreng, dia ambil sikit. Banyak kali tau kita tanya tapi dia tak jawab"

"…………"

"Bang, okey?"

"Okey"

"Abang trigger something ke?"

"Haah"

"Pakai topeng"

"Okey"

_

"Abang dah anxiety, Ara. Hari ni semua tidur hotel. Esok pagi orang bersih rumah datang"

"Siapa aje tak geli. Sib baik kan kita tak makan sangat rumah dia. Geli la, bang. Malas ingat"

"Malam ni nak jumpa imam minta tolong dia tengokkan Ocio. Mana tahu kena nasi kangkang"

Panggilan telefon

September, 2025

Ary

"Puki, puki, puki ada mana? Boring ekkk"

"Bahasa tak pernah elok"

"Janda lu amacam?"

"Lu punya janda yang berlonggok apa cer? Nafkah anak bayar tak? Anak pandai buat. Tanggungjawab tak nak"

"Banyak lancau ini budak potong wa punya stim"

"Benda betul. Sakit? Pergi jumpa doktor"

Ary

"Qa id"

"Kait?"

"Qaid"

"Apa sial? Kait? Nak kait baju ke apa?"

"Qaid la. Pemimpin dalam bahasa Arab"

"Wa still tak faham"

"Q.A.I.D. Qaid. Ha"

"Oooo itu macam"

"Eh Ri, anak panggil apa?"

"Wa?"

"Ye la. Baba ke Babah ke apa"

"Abi"

"Hahahahaha nasib baik tak tersembur air aku"

"Wa bukan kafir macam lu daddy daddy"

"Gamps hahahahaha"

Al-Ghazali & Takdir

Al-Ghazali menegaskan bahawa qadar Ilahi merupakan ketentuan yang sarat dengan hikmah, tanpa sebarang kejadian berlaku secara sia-sia. Setiap peristiwa yang menggembirakan adalah ni‘mah (nikmat) yang menuntut syukr (kesyukuran), manakala setiap peristiwa yang menyakitkan adalah bala (ujian) yang menuntut sabr (kesabaran). Dalam Iḥyaʾ ʿUlum al-Din, khususnya Kitab al-Ṣabr wa al-Shukr, beliau menekankan bahawa nikmat dan musibah merupakan dua sisi daripada satu ketetapan Ilahi. Kedua-duanya berfungsi sebagai jalan untuk penyucian jiwa dan pendidikan rohani, agar hati manusia sentiasa kembali kepada Allah.

Al-Ghazali menyatakan “Seorang hamba tidak terlepas daripada dua keadaan; sama ada nikmat atau bala. Jika berada dalam nikmat, maka kewajipan ke atasnya adalah bersyukur. Jika berada dalam bala, maka kewajipan ke atasnya adalah bersabar. Dengan demikian, setiap keadaan merupakan peluang untuk mentaati Allah.” Menurut al-Ghazali, kesyukuran terhadap nikmat bukan sekadar pengakuan lisan, tetapi penerimaan hakikat bahawa nikmat tersebut adalah anugerah Allah yang mesti digunakan pada jalan ketaatan. Kesabaran terhadap musibah bukan sekadar menahan keluhan, tetapi menyedari ia jalan Allah menghapus dosa dan meninggikan darjat.

Toronto, Canada

September, 2025

Doaku untukmu…

Ya Rabb al-‘Alamin,

Engkaulah Yang Maha Pengasih lagi Maha Penyayang. Limpahkanlah rahmat dan inayah-Mu ke atas dirinya, kurniakanlah dia ‘afiyah pada tubuh dan rohnya. Janganlah Kau cabut segala nikmat yang pernah Kau anugerahkan kepadanya. Berilah dia yang terbaik dalam setiap urusannya – pada rezekinya, makan minumnya, pakaiannya, akhlaknya, dan budi pekertinya. Lindungilah dia daripada aib, muliakanlah kedudukannya, dan ampunilah segala dosanya.

Ya Allah, keluarkanlah diriku daripada hatinya, agar hatinya menjadi lapang, fikirannya tenteram, dan hidupnya dipenuhi ketenangan dengan limpahan kasih-Mu.

Ogos, 2025

Jalan yang belum pasti

"Rifal call. Dia dekat kondo ajak jumpa. Pandai skandal lepas tu pening"

"Dia skandal dengan siapa?"

"Bini orang. Nak halalkan macam mana. Sebelum semua tahu, baik tekan brek"

"Acam drama Setia Itu Mahal. Ramai tersakiti. Dah elok-elok bahagia layankan first love si oyen tak guna tu"

"Tak tahu aaa dia. Abang cakap jangan main api nanti terbakar diri. Buat laki skandal dia tahu panjang cerita"

"Perempuan tu tahu tak dia laki orang?"

"Tahu"

"Astu?"

"Tu abang cakap dekat dia jangan teruskan buat sakit hati, cemburu tak habis, emosi tak tenteram. Laki skandal dia baik. Buat apa nak rosakkan rumah tangga orang. Kita tak tahu idea tentang kebahagiaan dalam kepala otak sama ke tak dengan realiti akan jadi. Lebih baik pilih kebahagiaan yang kita ada sekarang berbanding jalan yang kita belum pasti kesudahan"

Ogos, 2025

Winnie the Pooh

“Pooh sat very still beneath the stars, with tears gently rolling down his cheeks. He whispered to the night, hoping the stars might carry his words to where they needed to go. ‘I miss you,’ he said softly, his little voice trembling, ‘more than honey, more than anything in all the Hundred Acre Wood.’ And as he gazed at the brightest star above, he wondered if perhaps those we love never truly go away, but instead shine down from the sky, so that when we look up, we can feel them close. The night was quiet, except for the sound of his own heart remembering. ‘It hurts,’ Pooh thought, ‘but maybe that’s because love is so very big, and my heart is only so very small.’ And though the ache stayed, so did a gentle warmth, as if the star itself was whispering back: love doesn’t end, it only changes shape. Pooh wiped his eyes, folded his paws together, and promised that no matter how far away someone seemed, he would keep them close in every thought, in every star, and in every beat of his very small but very brave heart.” — Winnie the Pooh

Say nothing

You say nothing to avoid conflict, yet live in conflict because you say nothing.

August 5, 2025

After a dream

It takes me days to recover after a dream with you in it. Something about seeing you again, even just in sleep, opens a part of me I try to keep quiet. In the dream, you're still mine. Or maybe I'm still yours. Nothing is broken. Nothing is lost. We talk like we used to. We laugh. Sometimes we don't say anything at all. And somehow, that feels like enough.

But then I wake up. And you're gone all over again.

It’s strange how the heart doesn’t know the difference between what’s real and what’s remembered. A dream can feel closer than anything I touch in the day. And when I open my eyes, there’s this weight that follows me, soft but steady, like grief that doesn’t want to leave.

People say it’s just a dream. But it never feels small. Not when it brings someone back who never truly left the heart.

Some mornings, I wish I hadn’t seen you. Other mornings, I hold on to the feeling, even if it hurts. Because even if it was only in sleep, for a little while, it felt like nothing was missing. And that feeling, even borrowed, is hard to let go.

(Unknown)

Ary

"Mana, bro?"

"Wa?"

"Ha la"

"Kena lock dalam kain bini"

"Betul-betul la. Mana?"

"Ruma. Apasai?"

"Call Ocio. Aku call tak masuk"

"Esok arr. Busy bro, jilat pepek bini kahkahkah"

"Aku dahlah panas. Jangan tambah"

"Asal lu? Aircond rosak ke cibai?"

"Ocio tak dapat di hubungi"

"Waaaaa, skema gila ayat lu kahkahkahkah"

"Haih. Letih"

"Relaks arrr. Gurau pun sentap. Apasal?"

Spekulasi

"Ri tu kita malas ambil tahu. Rimas, banyak sangat spekulasi and fitnah. Kita tunggu inkues. Dapatkan inkues tak selari dengan cerita influenza, dia tulis kerajaan cuba sembunyi bukti. Sembunyi apa bang, berpuluh lawyer dalam mahkamah dari pelbagai pihak"

"Abang dah baca siaran media mufti"

"Ada sampai bangsatkan mufti bila pejabat keluarkan kenyataan rasmi. Geram aje kita. Melampau"

"Tu la"

"Abang tahu tak, cerita yang entah apa-apa macam mesin basuh, jerit pembunuh semua tu pesakit mental yang tulis. Siap letak QR minta duit. Ada lawyer senior tegur astu dia play victim. Dia sendiri tulis dia ambil ubat psikiatri"

"Laa. Dia buat cerita ke apa?"

"Abang bayangkan penat kerajaan, pejabat peguam, Bukit Aman nak redakan kemarahan orang ramai sebab cerita dia. Banyak fitnah dari fakta. Ramai doktor di SISPAA kan tak pasal-pasal. Gila kan, bang?"

"Sumber cerita dari orang tak waras tu?"

"Ha'a. Orang percaya bulat-bulat"

"Tu yang gelombang besar"

"Kerja ustazah. Ramai dah betulkan fakta, dia membongkak. Tiba semalam pakar cakap mayat reput, senyap terus geng dia"

"Berat orang nak terima"

"Yeah, it’s tough to take in. People online are still doubting the forensic report, and most lawyers know about it but just keep quiet"

1TB

"Bil belum bayar masuk emel abang. Pakai apa sampai kena sewa storage? Orang guna simpan segala pelan, dokumen tak sampai 1TB. Dia guna 2TB"

"Acam entah apa ntah kita simpan"

"Pack rat"

"Tak eh"

"Habis tu? Hoarding Disorder?"

"Abang nak gaduh ke? Kita dah baik abang cari pasal kannn"

"Abang tanya je"

"Ye ke tanya?"

"Gambar dengan bekas tunang eh?"

"Abang memang saja kan?"

"Ara! Ara! Aduhhh, sakit, Ra. Gurau pun tak boleh. Serius 24 jam nak pergi mana?"

"Tiru ayat kitaaaaa. Eeeee! Geram la"

"Hehehe geram geram meh peluk peluk"

"Tak kuasa"

"Apa yang asyik marah? Perempuan ni tak reti ke relaks-relaks, chill-chill. Mengamuk, marah, tak penat ke jantung? Cuba cool, tenang, tarik nafas haaa. Tengok abang. Tengok je dah senyum"

*tarik nafas*

"Heeee Ra. Sabar, sabar. Abang senyap hehehehe"

_

"Tapi busy tapi sempat scroll. Tengok bra pulak tu"

"Haaa hehe masa rehatkan diri saja Google. Pengetahuan am"

"Benda lain takde eh pengetahuan am?"

"Hehehehe"

September, 2025

Perasaan

"Abang nak pergi office kejab. Dalam sejam dua abang balik"

"Kata move out? Tak jadi Doha?"

"Tu exit plan yang abang buat in case teruk sangat tarif tapi setakat ni okey tak perlu pindah. Doha tak memenuhi beberapa kriteria"

"Labuan aje tutup?"

"Tak tutup. Pindah operasi"

"Exit plan kata tutup?"

"Bisnes bersifat dinamik. Keputusan hari ni tak semestinya terpakai untuk esok"

"Kalau perasaan acam mana?"

"Kalau perasaan?"

"Ha'a"

"Ara fikir la dulu. Abang dah lambat"

"Jawab laaa. Malas layan kita kannn"

"Ara, tahu sini Dubai. Jangan mula"

_

"Siapa nak cakap dengan awak?"

"Hujan tak, ribut pun tak. Tiba je"

"7 kali tau gegar dekat Johor sana. Jasin pun gegar tau"

"Habis tu apa kaitan?"

"Awak fikir la sendiri"

"Nak kena kekah ke?"

"Eleh"

"Sorry la abang busy sikit tak bagi Ara perhatian. Company baru launching projek, abang monitor sale"

"Cepat aje turun nada. Kita nak gaduh"

"Tak boleh gaduh sekarang. Abang tengah fokus"

_

"Apa sepah ni? Tak sampai berapa jam dah selerak. Kemas balik"

"Tak nak"

"Kemas balik. Kang kena hempap apa pun tak dapat"

"Tak nakkkk. Abang berat"

"Ha kemas cepat. Pantang tak layan buat sepah"

"Eeeeeeee!"

_

"Kemas pun. Dah, siap kita pergi makan"

"…………"

"Dah senyap pulak"

"…………"

"Ra, mandi eh. Kita pergi makan"

"…………"

"Merajuk dulu. Abang nak mandi"

_

"Biar aje kita"

"Laaa. Abang pergi mandi"

"Kita merajuk, kan?"

"Mandi dulu nak gaduh pun. Kejab lagi kedai tutup, berlapar"

"Biar la. Kita mati aje"

"Sunyi la abang kalau Ara tak ada"

"Sembang"

"Ra, wajah yang sempurna, alis mata yang cantik, bibir yang memikat…hmm…mandi eh"

"Ayat tak habis"

"Abang tengah fikir. Ara mandi dulu"

"Jual ayat astu tak habis"

"Otak fokus kerja"

_

"Bang…belum habis kerja?"

"Belum"

"Kepala ok tak?"

"Pening"

"Kerja tak fikir kesihatan"

"Hmm"

"Jangan abaikan diri. Tidur sekejab"

"Okey"

_

"30 minit gerak abang"

"Jantung abang kenapa?"

"Tak ada apa"

"Degup lain"

"Tak cukup rehat kot. Letak tangan tempat lain"

"Tidur, sayang. 10, 9, 8, 7"

Dubai, UAE

September, 2025

Robot manusia

"Serius la"

"Kenapa?"

"Phone abang tanya kita siapa. Abang setting apa dekat phone?"

"Ooo tu hahaha"

"Banyak nau tanya. Orang nak guna aje pun. Astu dia cakap access denied"

"Hahahahahaha"

_

"Abanggggg apa niiii"

"Apa?"

"Off laaaa"

"Hahahahaha"

"Kita nak laki kita reply. Abanggggg"

"Selalu okey okey je. Okey la tu"

"Tak nak dia reply. Abang reply sendiri. Abanggggg"

"Kenapa?"

"Kita tak suka. Robot abang acam manusia. Laki kita manusia robot. Takde la dia nak miss you, love you, U, U, U apa ntah. Cakap I pun tak pernah. Off laaa"

"Nanti la abang kerja banyak ni"

"Dia auto reply, kan?"

"Ha"

"Eeeeee tak suka la"

_

"Kejab lagi abang layan Ara. Abang sibuk ni"

"Now, abang"

"Tak boleh. Abang busy"

"Alaaa kejab aje"

"Jangan nak merengek-rengek dekat sini. Kang haa"

"Haa apa? Apa? Cepat laaa"

"Aku la ada jugak ni kang"

"Simpan aje muka garang tu acam la kita takut sangat"

"Ra"

"Mmm okey…kita takut…mmm buat tau…bila abang free ke"

"Okey"

Ogos, 2025