Edisi terhad

"Hari ni je cuti. Esok lepas subuh abang gerak"

"Ala"

"Kerja la sayang. Sikit lagi nak habis"

"Mmm...sekejab sangat"

"Jurnal dah siap?"

"Tak"

"Busy?"

"Tak ada mood. Baby kita berjauhan hihihi"

"Ni dah dekat"

"Abang tahu tak Diana sakit. Ustaz cakap sebab sihir pemisah"

"Teruk ke?"

"Husband dia tak boleh jalan. Kaki lembik. Dia sesak nafas macam orang cekik"

"Siapa buat?"

"Ustaz tak cakap tapi rasa Ara bff dia"

"Sebab apa? Dengki?"

"Rasanya"

"Agak dah"

"Bila fikir semula, abang baik juga kan tak buat benda macam tu dekat buah hati abang"

"Dah kata edisi terhad tak percaya"

"Koya"

Work trip

I have just returned from a work trip in Sweden, and oh, how I miss my wife and kids.

Nasi lemak sotong

"Sayang...bangun solat. 6 30 dah"

"Baby..."

"Bangun"

"Mmm..."

"Sayang, bangun"

"Abang dah bangun?"

"Dah balik masjid dah"

"Mmm..."

"Bangun cepat. Abang nak keluar beli sarapan"

"Nasi lemak sotong please"

"Amboi dia"

"Hihihi"

Hit the sack

Ibu: Adam, you still up? It's time to hit the sack

Adam: What does "hit the sack" mean, Ibu?

Ibu: It means it's time to go to sleep.

Adam: I'm gonna hit the sack

Ibu: Good night Ad

Adam: Night Ibu. I love you

Ibu: Love you too *flying kiss*

Daddy: Ibu je? Daddy?

Adam: Hehehe

Ibu: Whatcha doin?

Umar: Reading Tolstroy

Ibu: It's time to hit the hay buddy

Umar: Toodle

Ibu: Love you

Umar: 143

Ibu: What's up?

Kakak: Just packin' my bag

Ibu: Need a hand?

Kakak: Nah

Ibu: It's time to hit the hay

Kakak: Fo' sho'

Ibu: Good night, darlin'.

Kakak: Night

Ibu: Love you

Kakak: 143

Ambivalence

"Memang macam tu la. Hari ni kita menyampah. Esok kita rindu. Lusa kita teringat. Tulat kita sedih. Benda sama berulang. Love-hate"

"Orang perempuan lain tau. Once dia buat keputusan, dia tinggal terus"

"Tahu"

"Bistu kenapa abang fikir? Buang tenaga aje"

"Abang tak fikir"

"Datang sendiri eh"

"Ye"

"Kena cuci otak abang gaknya"

"Ara ni"

"Forget her, please"

"Macam mana?"

"Jumpa bomoh nak? Hihihi"

"Merapu je la"

Quran tagging

"Bang, nak al-Quran tagging tak?"

"Tak nak. Abang dah tagging sendiri"

"Cantik tau boleh sulam nama"

"Tak nak"

"Abang, tengok la sini'

"Ara beli untuk Ara je. Abang tak nak"

"Abang tak nak, Ara pun tak nak"

"Saja la tu. Nak yang mana?"

"Nak sama abang"

"Abang nak hitam"

"Okay. Let's go Dutch"

"Tak. Ara bayar semua"

"Alaaa. Berat sama di pikul please"

"Dan-dan berat sama di pikul. Jaga anak malam abang sorang"

"Ungkitttttt"

Zaman sekolah

"Kalau Ipoh, Eve Maria. Batu Gajah, St. Bernadette's, Teluk Intan, Convent, Taiping, Treacher"

"Kemain mengatur girlfriend"

"CBN. BBGS, TKC, Seri Puteri tak payah tanya la"

"Masa sekolah siapa girlfriend abang?"

"Tak ada makwe. Ummi tak kasi. Tunggu habis sekolah"

"Patuh"

"Anak soleh hahaha"

"Soleh sangat"

"Nak kekal hot kena stay single"

"Kannn"

"Ara ada pakwe masa sekolah?"

"Nope"

"Mana nak ada dah busy dengan kakak angkat. Bergaduh 24 jam"

"Girl school tak ada kakak angkat tak hot la"

"Kakak angkat dah tidur?"

"Entah dia"

"Gaduh la tu"

"Empat hari tak reply WhatsApp"

"Laa"

Only Allah will lighten your burden

"Do you still miss her?"

"I do, but I miss who she was before she changed. Don't worry. I'm not even an option for her. I won't run to chase her. She hates me. She doesn't want me."

"It hurts, right?"

"Do you have any idea how to forget someone who has stayed in your heart for a long time?"

"Only Allah will lighten your burden."

"This feeling sometimes annoys me."

"Be patient, boo."

Breakfast

Go for a morning walk at Taiping Lake Gardens. Have a picnic there and enjoy breakfast.

Going for a jog

I'm heading out for a jog.

Taiping, Perak

23/07/2023, 4:30 am

When I miss you

When I miss you, I go to the places you love, like Cyberjaya Lake Garden, or eat your favorite meal, even if I didn't enjoy it when we were together, like kuetiau kungfu. You were always kind to me. I remember all the good things you did and forget any mistakes you made.

Nasi Ayam Hainan, Ipoh

22/7/2023, 1430

Bebel

"Abang pergi dulu. Bangun, mandi"

"Abang tak takut guruh ke? Kuat tu. Petir sambar-menyambar. Tak payah pergi eh. Solat dekat rumah je. Hujan lebat"

"Payung ada"

"Jange tubik bea. Bahayo. Uje lebak. Keto gapo tok napok atah jale"

"Ha bebel dah"

"Hola. Tok ngepek tok sey denga kato. Ore saye ko dio"

"🫶"

"🫰"

Jika takdir tidak menjodohkan kita

Yang kekal

Kita akan mati

yang kekal hanya

ingatanku pada sukma hatimu

Sri Hartamas, KL

22/7/2023, 4:04 pagi

Redha Allah

Kata Allah, yang mendapat redhaKu cuma satu iaitu mereka yang reda menerima takdirKu dan keputusanKu. Inilah yang paling berat. Banyak orang ikhlas memberi hartanya, ramai yang tulus memberi darahnya untuk jihad tapi kalau menerima takdir Allah, berat rasa hati menerimanya. Reda itu hanya boleh di tolong dengan banyak solat dan sabar. (Ustaz Abdul Somad)

Bezza

This morning, I was late for a meeting with a startup company in Shah Alam. I left my house at 6:30 am to avoid traffic, but unfortunately, my car broke down not far from my in-laws' house. My wife offered to give me a ride, but I declined. Instead of fixing the engine, I asked Don to help me find another car service like Grab or Maxim. Don told me that there was a car nearby that I could rent through the Socar app (I'm not familiar with Socar). I agreed with Don's suggestion as long as I could get to the meeting on time. Afterwards, Don picked me up in a Perodua car.

When I safely arrived at the location, there were several staff members waiting for me. They seemed surprised when I stepped out of the car, and I could hear them whispering. I apologized for being late and causing them to wait. Some of them looked angry, and I could see their faces turning red. One staff member made a comment about my suit, while another staff member questioned why I was dressed in a suit while driving a cheap car. The second person laughed loudly. Despite this, I remained calm and tried to continue with the meeting. However, they didn't seem interested. 

They jokingly said, "If you can't afford to buy a Honda, how can you have money to invest in this company? Maybe you're a scammer". At that moment, I realized that they were looking down on me because I arrived at their place in a Bezza. I explained to them that I am not as wealthy as they are, so I can't afford the latest iPhone or drive a Honda. They smiled, and I believe they were satisfied with my response. I took something out of my suit pocket and showed it to them. They looked astonished and started apologizing. I smiled, tore up the bank draft, and walked away.

Bersangka baik dengan Allah

"Abang sampai dah?"

"Belum. Kereta rosak"

"Bistu abang dekat mana tu?"

"Depan sikit dari rumah"

"Okay, I'm picking you up"

"Nah"

"Today is a red-letter day for you"

"Abang dah lambat. Tak pernah jadi macam ni"

"I know you're always on fleek"

"Mungkin Allah nak selamatkan dari apa-apa. Bersangka baik je la"

"Mmm..."

"Dah rosak, nak buat macam mana kan"

"Kesian abang"

"Kejab lagi kereta lain sampai"

"Hopefully everything's all good"

"Ara tolong doakan"

"You bet"

Evening

I am taking my kids to Cyberjaya Lake Garden for some recreation this evening. Their mother didn't come along as she is hanging out with her collegemates.

Je t'emmènerai jusqu'à la lune, mon amour

"Can you fly me to the moon, baby?"

"Yes, of course"

……

"Did I mention how sweet and gentle you are?"

"Did I?"

"Yes, you are"

"Wanna sleep?"

"Nope"

"Can we pause the clock for a moment?"

"Absolutely"

Berhajat

"Awal abang balik. How's work going?"

"Okey. Semua tak jadi"

"Sebab?"

"Satu tamak, satu ambil kesempatan, satu lagi nak mengorat abang"

"Ewah dia"

"Tu la"

"Panas kita dengar"

"Ra, malam ni quads tinggal dengan Jess sebab abang nak balik BA"

"Kenapa bang? Tak nak bawa sekali?"

"Subuh kita balik dah"

"Sekejab sangat"

"Haah. Malu la dekat sini"

"Malu apa?"

"Ara ni"

"Abang kenapa?"

"Berhajat"

"Okey"

"Hmm"

"Perempuan tu goda?"

"Haah. Abang dah cuba istighfar tapi"

"It's okay. Abang nak pergi pukul berapa?"

"10"

"Rest up"

"Tak apa. Ara rehat. Dah 3 hari jaga anak. Abang uruskan quads"

"Thanks abang"

*hugs*

5.05 pagi

Masih tak dapat lelapkan mata sejak semalam. Bersihkan diri, bersiap untuk berjemaah di masjid.

Mesyuarat jam 8.30 pagi hari ini.

Main Yahaan Hoon

Rindu

"Tak tidur lagi? Pukul 1 dah ni"

"Tunggu abang"

"Kan dah mesej jangan tunggu"

"Abang dah makan?"

"Belum. Sepanjang hari appointment. Ara masak apa?"

"Special. Mesti abang suka"

"Waaaa gulai tempoyak"

……

"Sedap kan?"

"Sedap la dah bini suap"

*senyum*

…

"Ara naik atas dulu. Kejab lagi abang naik"

"It's okay. Abang tak letih ke?"

"Letih. Semalam tak tidur"

"Nak Ara urut?"

"Boleh juga"

…

"Abang tak rindu kita ke hari ni?"

"Tak sempat"

"Ala"

"Rindu"

"Banyak tak?"

"Rindu mana boleh kira"

"Kira la nak tahu"

"Sebanyak bulu ***** Ara hahahahahahaha"

"Eeeee" *pap pap pap*

*Sakit la"

"Rasa dia"

"Hahahahahahaha"

4.44 pagi

Masih belum tidur.

Laksa Putrajaya

"Laksa paling mahal dekat Putrajaya. Guna ikan pirana kot sampai sebelas ringgit satu"

"Jauhnya"

"Tak pergi. Ada orang cerita"

"Fuh! Sibbaik"

"Nak mengamuk la tu"

"Dok"

"Eleh"

.

"Jammed. Malas pergi Kajang"

*renung*

"Cari sate la. Ara ni"

14.7.2023

Bagi can la

"Abang, buat apa tu?"

"Catat esok nak makan apa"

"Amboi"

"Kalau catat tak lupa"

"Banyak ke?"

"Tak"

"Cuba baca"

"Cempedak goreng, keledek goreng, ais kacang, cendol pulut, rojak, cakoi, pulut kuning, popia basah, roti jala, sate, gulai tempoyak"

"Biasa dia paling pantang makanan berminyak. Minum panas sokmo""

"Setahun sekali. Bagi can la"

13.7.2023

Sep-sep

"Bonda lupa Im"

"Maryam Nurhara. Im panggil Raysha. Ara tukar"

"Lembut bunyinya. Suka Bonda dengar"

"Masalahnya Ara tak nak. Dia kata tu anak dia juga"

"Amboi! Mengadu"

"Bonda yang tanya hehehe"

"Bonda suka Raysha"

"Sep-sep"

Dugaan

"Ary, dekat mana?"

"Bali"

"Dekat je. Jumpa jom"

"Honeymoon dude"

"Oo. Okey, okey"

"Aku kawin baru"

"Kawin lagi? Bini ke 6 kan?"

"7"

"Aku cari papan spirit of the coin"

"Ummi dah bakar. Ko nak buat apa? Nak main, aku on"

"Tiba teringat. Aku dekat BA"

"Ko pergi mana? Lama hilang"

"Ada je"

"Call tak angkat. Mesej tak reply"

"Hmm nanti sembang. Blissful honeymoon bro"

"*** macam mana?"

"Tak tahu tak contact"

……

"Pet, betul ke papan spirit kita Ummi dah bakar?"

"Hidup lagi ko"

"Aku dekat BA"

"Bakar dah. Ocio report"

"Patut cari tak jumpa. Dekat mana tu?"

"Swiss"

"Vacation?"

"Nope. Divorcé"

"Lama dah?"

"A month"

"Kenapa tak cakap? Aku dekat Italy"

"Berapa lama ko hilang? Setan"

"Apa hal marah-marah"

"Ko pergi mana?"

"Nanti sembang. Okey tak tu?"

"Shitty"

……

"Kak Ain"

"Lama tak dengar khabar"

"Im ada dekat BA cari papan spirit"

"Ummi dah bakar lepas rotan kita. Ingat tak?"

"Tak ingat. Kak Ain dekat mana?"

"Seoul"

"Semua okey?"

"Rindu my kids"

"Mesti sedih bila anak-anak dah besar tinggalkan kita. Berpisah dunia"

"Sedih sangat Im"

"If you need anything, just give me a shout, alright?

"Thanks Im"

……

"Ocio, nak tanya kenapa report pasal papan spirit tu?"

"Siapa ya?"

"Imran. Ocio ada?"

"Ada"

"Boleh cakap dengan dia sekejab?"

"Ocio kena strok"

"Bila?"

"Bulan 4"

"Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un. Dia boleh bercakap? Berjalan?"

"Separuh badan. Alhamdulillah, berjalan guna tongkat. Bercakap boleh tapi pelat"

"Zara macam mana? Sihat?"

"Alhamdulillah. Baby pun sihat, aktif"

"Eh mengandung ke?"

"Tunggu masa"

"Besar dugaan"

"Alhamdulillah, kami mampu insha Allah"

"Kos perubatan Ocio biar Im tanggung"

"Alhamdulillah, terima kasih. Kami ada simpanan, insha Allah cukup"

"Nanti kalau perlukan apa-apa, bagitahu"

"Insha Allah. Im tahu tak Poci lives on the streets. Please, help him out"

"Biarlah dia"

""Everyone needs a second chance."

"Bukan semua"

Rindu yang paling sakit

Hujan turun dengan lebat semasa menziarahi pusara Ummi.

……

Pertemuan yang paling di nanti oleh ahli kubur ialah apabila orang yang dia cintai semasa di dunia datang menziarahinya. Allah jadikan pertemuan itu satu nikmat di alam barzakh. (UAI)

……

Rindu yang paling sakit, rindu pada yang telah tiada.

Kuala Lumpur

14/7/2023, 3.40 petang

4 am

"I couldn't sleep"

"Jetlag?"

"Nope"

"Then?"

"I miss you..."

"I miss you too"

My greatest sorrow

The thing I regret the most in life is searching for my real family, only to have them all pass away tragically because of me. If I could go back in time, I wouldn't have tried to find them. I didn't get to know all of you well, and then suddenly all of you left me forever.

Johor Bahru, Johor Darul Ta'zim

13 Julai 2023, 11.35 malam

Without you

"How are you feeling?"

"Letih sikit. Banyak hari tidur tak lena"

"Kenapa?"

"I can't sleep without you"

"Neither do I"

"Nak sambung tidur"

"Sure"

On board

01072023

Duit

"Sepanjang ni semua Bosporus Strait. Waktu ekonomi Turki tengah down, ramai yang jual. Masa tu peluang orang luar beli sebab kerajaan benarkan dengan beberapa syarat. Ada satu kawasan tu rumah cantik, kawasan elit. Dah terbengkalai. Kontraktor dah bungkus"

"Siapa yang tak nak beli. Kawasan cantik. Tenang je"

"Kawasan semua tenang kalau ada duit hahahaha"

"Mengucing kita eh"

"Taklah tapi betul. Tak ada duit ketenangan hilang tambah bila banyak hutang"

"Lydia stres gila OPR naik. Hutang rumah stuck"

"Orang tak faham konsep rumah. Tak ada duit, kita sewa je. Beli bila kita tak risau nak bayar bulanan. Paling senang beli cash. Bila kita tak beli rumah, kita tak ada komitmen. Dekat mana-mana kita boleh duduk. Nak pindah oversea pun senang. Mana ada duit, situ kita pergi"

"Tapi orang biasa tak faham pemikiran macam abang"

"Beli rumah share loan. Bulan struggle nak bayar. Banyak negara alami stagflation. Memang tak tenang hidup. Hidup kita kena bebas hutang tapi kalau cakap orang kata senang sembang duit banyak"

"Betul"

"Mentaliti makan gaji tak sama orang bisnes. Dia paling rajin tukar kereta baru. Gaji naik, kereta upgrade, rumah reno. Invesment tak buat. Memang pokai la. Nak makan kena berjimat-cermat. Gaji masuk beratur Starbucks hahaha"

"Cycle sama berulang"

"Duit, kita control dia. Tak boleh dia control dia. Dia control kita, jahanam hidup kita"

"Kalau tak control senang lupa diri"

"Sekarang ramai main

crypto. Orang lama main Bitcoin. Tak pun Forex. Semua haram"

"Eh crypto haram ke bang?"

"Haram"

Bosporus Strait, Türkiye

12/7/2023, 4.45 petang

Rome wasn't built in a day

Secy

"Finally dapat juga lunch berdua. Rasa macam zaman bercinta"

"Thanks for the compliment. Out of the blue, everyone's got their eyes on me"

"Mesti la. You look absolutely gorgeous today"

"Really?"

"Of course"

"………"

"Laa dah kenapa menangis?"

"Happy sangat"

"Makan la. Nak abang suap?"

"Sure. Abang, yang pakai tie merah tu secy abang eh? Handsome"

"Hey"

"Hihihihi kita tanya je"

Milan, Italy 

11.7.2023, 4.45 petang

My Ara

"I wouldn't be able to make such a significant contribution if it weren't for this incredible woman. She willingly gave up her six-figure income to be by my side, take care of our children, and so forth. If you aspire to achieve success, finding the right woman will open up a world of possibilities for you."

Milan, Italy  

11/7/2023, 11.15 am

Nak kena jual ke?

"Nak shopping apa? Semua dah ada"

"Girls always have something to buy"

"Jangan beli seluruh Milan dah"

"Nak kena jual ke?"

"Kita laku keras. Awak tak tahu la hahahaha"

Verona, Italy

10.07.2023, 9.30 malam

My lovely Ara

"Nah. Pegang elok-elok. Panas tu"

"Thanks abang"

"Ni ada mamat mana entah bagi surat"

"Siapa?"

"Entah"

……

My lovely Ara,

You are the very essence of my life's tale. I am absolutely certain that marrying you was the perfect choice, and I have not once harboured a single second of regret.

Much love,

Husband

Venice, Italy

09072023, 9.04am

……

"Handsome tak mamat tu?"

"Tampan, kacak, menawan. Kalau tengok tertawan hati"

"Bahaya tu kalau jumpa da Vinci hihihi"

Gatal tapak kaki

Daddy: Kenapa menangis ni? Ibu tak faham Irene nak apa ye? Irene gatal tapak kaki, Ibu tahu bagi susu je

Ibu: Irene lapar kan?

Daddy: Dia diam maksudnya dia tak lapar

Ibu: Semua geng daddy

Daddy: Mesti 

Manarola, Cinque Terre, Italy

08/07/2023, 9.58 malam

Ketidaksempurnaan

Dalam hidup ini, setiap perkara memerlukan seni yang tersendiri. Begitu juga dengan cinta. Seni yang di lupakan apabila menyayangi seseorang ialah mencintai kekurangan yang ada pada dirinya. Itulah cinta yang sejati. Mudah mengucapkan tetapi sukar di lakukan. Mencintai sesuatu yang tidak sempurna di mata kita itu sukar dan penuh cabaran. Jalannya berliku.

Mencintai sesuatu yang tidak sempurna itu indah jika kita tahu cara untuk menghargainya. Setiap sesuatu yang tidak sempurna itu mempunyai kecantikan dan keunikan yang tersendiri.

Permasalahan timbul apabila kita gagal untuk menghargainya kerana sifat manusia menginginkan kesempurnaan. Kesempurnaan tidak pernah wujud. Ia hanyalah sebuah utopia.

Belajarlah untuk menghargai insan yang kita kasihi sementelahan dia masih menyayangi kita. Barangkali, dia punya banyak kekurangan, tetapi janganlah melihat kekurangan itu sebagai satu kecacatan yang memudarkan rasa cinta kita terhadapnya. Allah jadikan sifat tersebut sebagai salah satu cara untuk kita meraih ganjaran pahala kerana kita bersabar dan kekal istiqamah.

Kehilangan itu luka yang kekal sifatnya dan tidak akan sembuh. Penyesalan yang tiada titik noktah dan rindu yang tiada berpenghujung. Hidup menjadi teramat sunyi tanpa kehadirannya. Siapapun yang hadir selepas itu tidak dapat mengisi kekosongan yang telah di tinggalkan. Apabila dia mengambil keputusan untuk meninggalkan kita, dia pergi dan tak akan kembali.

Pisa, Italy

07/07/2023, 10.30 malam

Focus on solving the problem

Hi babe,

Is everything going well in your life? I'm just curious because you've been on my mind countless times. I think about you constantly, whether it’s with my mind or my heart.

If you're facing any problems, take a deep breath and calm down. Focus on solving the problem and you will find a way. Instead of fixating on the problem, you'll only encounter more problems.

I'm writing here with the hope that you'll read this, even though I know you haven't. I didn't have the courage to send you an email. You are a strong and resilient person. Things will get better.

Hang in there, my dear.

Love,

Abang

Cerita

Banyak yang ingin di catat tapi belum ada kesempatan. Itali menawarkan pelbagai cerita menarik terutamanya berkaitan kota suci Vatican, kisah tragis keluarga Cleopatra, bencana Pompei yang menghancurkan sebuah bandar, polemik homoseksualiti dalam kalangan pelukis Renaissance seperti Leonardo da Vinci, cerita perang dan perebutan kuasa elit politik serta penemuan menarik Galileo de' Galilei.

Florence, Italy

06/07/2023, 8.30 malam

Tak nak tidur

"Kenapa Hasha tak nak tidur? Tengok abang-abang, kakak-kakak semua dah tidur"

"Abang-abang, kakak-kakak eh"

"Ye la dah abang dia 4, kakak dia 2"

"Adik dia 2 hihihi"

"Jangan usik dia. Dah kuat nangis"

"Manja lahai dengan daddy dia"

"Dah comel pun macam daddy hehehe"

Tuscany, Italy

05/07/2023, 11:47pm

Our conversations

"Morning sweetheart. Awal bangun"

"Kita tak tidur. Tak boleh tidur"

"Laa"

"Mmm...kita baca notepad abang. Sorry, tak minta izin"

"Baca apa?"

"Our conversations. Rajin abang catat"

"Oh tu. Guna device voice to text. Benda hitam tengah cas tu. Tapi kadang kena edit jugak"

"Kenapa abang rakam?"

"Boleh baca bila dah tua"

"Abang cakap ada banyak benda lucah tapi Ara tak jumpa"

"Benda tak ada nak jumpa macam mana"

"Kata ada"

"Rule number one for becoming a billionaire - Never watch pornography"

"Kita percaya mati"

"Penat selongkar"

"Tu la"

*muah!* "Jom mandi. Nak subuh dah"

"Abang, boleh screenshot tak?"

"Nak buat apa?"

"Up dekat status WhatsApp hihi"

"Tak payah la. Malu je"

"Nakkk"

"Kejab"

"Lepas Darling, I love you letak love color merah tau"

"Kena ke?"

"Kenaaa"

"Okey"

"Abang, kenapa tak buat jurnal ke, blog ke, ehem Facebook page ke. Mesti ramai followers"

"Malas"

"Bila nak ada sosmed? At least WA. Kita nak stalk abang hihihihi"

"Nak jadi stalker pulak"

"Haah"

Capri, Italy

05072023, 6:16 pagi

Darling, I love you!

Thank you, Ara, for today. It has truly been an incredible journey. Cruising Capri via yacht is absolutely amazing. Your smile is constant, and it brings me immense joy to see you so happy. We sang a Celine Dion song, indulged in pasta, laughed heartily, and embraced each other tightly.

Darling, I love you!

Capri, Naples, Italy

Fourth of July 2023, 17:31

Sejambak bunga

"Thank you so much! Cantik. Tapi banyak sangat. Rugi"

"Sekali-sekala. Boring la asyik bagi satu je"

*senyum* "Mesti ada sebab kan"

"Ada"

"Agak dah"

"Dada rasa lapang sikit tapi tak tenang"

"Dah kenapa?"

"Tak tenang sebab hari tu abang complaint pasal panas, sesak, peluh. Rasa tak bersyukur pulak"

"Abang dah buat solat taubat?"

"Belum"

"Semua orang nak pergi tapi tak semua ada kesempatan. Masing-masing ada beban hidup. Yang ada duit, ada komitmen kerja. Maybe komitmen hidup macam jaga anak sakit, parents dah tua. Sebilangan duit cukup makan. You have been given the opportunity to travel around the world, and you should be grateful. Mind your language"

"Terasa abang cakap pasal penjenayah tu?"

"Nope"

"Sorry, abang gurau je"

"Dah kenapa dada lapang? Makan Gaviscon ke hihihi?"

"Betul la. Abang jealous"

"Pasal apa?

"Pasal hari tu. Yang Ara cakap tu"

"Baru sedar?"

"Tak. Lama dah"

"Tapi menafikan"

"Haah"

"Bagi semua hati abang dekat kita hihihi tak, kita gurau je"

"Semalam abang tidur lena"

"Sampai tak bangun tahajud"

"Eh Ara bangun ke? Tak gerak"

"Tiga kali kita gerak"

"Sebab apa abang cakap ke, Allah dah tak bangunkan abang?"

"Takla. Cuba relaks. Complicated sangat"

"Stres la. Ara bangun"

"Dah setan dodoi. Lena ke bulan eh hihihihihi"

"Ayat!"

Buck Moon

My heart feels burdened by the heaviness of your absence. The gap separating us seems impossible to overcome, and the pain in my soul intensifies with each passing second. I never expressed my strong desire to take you to Italy, although I kept it to myself during our time together. I always recall that the Trans-Siberian journey is on your bucket list, whereas mine is conquering Mount Everest. You cherished Switzerland for its breathtaking landscapes, while I adored Italy without any specific rationale. We didn't have the same preferences, but we were okay with our differences.

Do you still long for me? I cannot deny that at times I wish you felt the same longing for me as I do for you. However, the truth is that you had forgotten about me long ago. Your hatred towards me grew immensely once he entered your life. I still recall the pain caused by reading your email, but I have come to accept it. All your words, despite their harshness, hold true. You left me in pursuit of a brighter future, and I never held you accountable for that decision. Your future deserves to be fulfilling, entrusted to safe hands. *Love is when the other person's happiness is more important than your own.

I have loved you since the age of 18, and my love for you persists. It is not a simple task to stop loving someone like you. I feel envious of the man who has the privilege of hearing your gentle voice, holding your hands, and listening to your stories. He wakes up next to you each morning and embraces you each night. The best man has emerged victorious, and I accept my defeat. I cannot win you back. You are not meant to be my destiny. To be truthful, I have never regretted falling for you. As time passes, I make efforts to improve myself, but regrettably, not for you, but for someone else.

I am grateful for the immense kindness you bestowed upon me. The knowledge and wisdom you imparted to me will forever remain ingrained in my memory. Reflecting upon our connection always evokes a profound sense of sorrow, causing tears to well up in my eyes. Your presence lingers in my thoughts, and I am unable to erase you from my mind. The sheer happiness I experienced in your company remains etched in my heart, and I am endlessly grateful for the joy you brought into my life. Loving someone as extraordinary as you has illuminated my existence, and I cannot express enough gratitude for that.

PS: Have you seen Buck Moon tonight?

*H. Jackson Brown Jr

Abang sayang

Capri, Italy

Jul 3rd, 2023, 10:22 pm

Frust

"Frust. Tu la excited sangat sebelum pergi"

"I adore this journey; it's never been as fantastic as this one"

"Tak la. Ni paling teruk. Orang ramai. Sesak. Panas. Berpeluh. Beratur panjang bla bla bla bla"

"Orang tu dah biasa lepak yacht. Tak reti dah bersesak-sesak. Nak wangi sentiasa, muka tak peluh"

"Ye kot"

"Next time awak lepak sana je. Jangan turun darat. Koya"

"Jom pergi Greece"

"Semua tempat ramai. Awak pergi Marikh. Sana kosong. Ada awak je"

"Nak kena gigit ke?"

"Hihihihi sabar la sayang. Semua nak marah"

The St. Regis Rome, Italy

02/07/2023, 9:39 malam

Lihat, di mataku ada cinta buatmu

"Ara selalu cakap mata tak pernah menipu"

"Bila?"

"Selalu"

"Takkk"

"Saidina Ali cakap, "A woman can hide her love for 40 years, but she cannot hide her hatred for more than an hour"

"Mmm"

"Lihat, di mataku ada cinta buatmu"

"Tak nampak pun"

"Hahahaha"

"Thanks love. Bawa Ara datang sini"

"Dulu kerja nak tarik nafas pun tak sempat kan. Punya busy defend penjenayah hahahaha"

"Hey!"

"Kejar la hahahaha"

"Kita sprinter kot"

"Cuba tengok kejar quarterback"

"Abanggg tunggu la. Ala jauhnya tinggal"

"Hahahaha laju sikit. Kata pelari pecut"

Castel Sant'Angelo, Parco Adriano, Rome

01.07.2023, 11.30 malam

Sentap

"Tak naklah. Sikit-sikit tulis suami saya. Macam dia je ada suami. Sakit mata"

"Sakit mata ke sakit hati hihihihihihi?"

"Sakit mata"

"Eleh. Padahal jealous. Mengaku je la"

"Ni malas cakap"

"Tease sikit dah sentap"

"Mana ada sentap"

"Tu apa tu. Kuat sentap"

"Bila Ara nak berhenti tanya benda ni semua"

"Abang jealous tapi tak nak mengaku"

"Kalau dah tahu, buat apa tanya"

"Saja"

*sigh*

"Tapi pelik kan. Tak ada satu lagu Ara suka dalam playlist abang. Patutlah beria sangat nak tengok Moulin Rouge sampai mimpi-mimpi"

"Baru je sampai. Jangan la mulakan"

Rome, Italy

01072023, 13:13