Don't Judge Others

I’m at coffee shop. My assistant, Pak Mad bring my kids to KLIBF. I don’t think it is a good idea for me to go in PWTC with wheelchair through crowded people all around. Sitting here with laptop and books is much better. I look around. I saw many people walk here and there. Holding someone hands. They look at me and I smiled to them.

I saw many people. They are from upper class or at least upper-middle class. They drove exclusive cars, wears celebrated clothes, holding most up-to-date cell phones. They live in their own life. I saw many foreigners too - Arabs, Philippines, Burmese, Siamese, Pakistani and many more. We have good life and it brings their attention to come here and works.

I saw many people and to be honest I have my own view on them. Yes, it is bad to judge other people who we didn’t know. But, somehow we couldn't avoid having our first impression on someone. The worse is our perception is far from the truth. Basically, we judge people based on their appearances. We didn't look at people as ordinary creatures from God.

If we look at young couple holding hands, we would think they are unmarried but who knows if they have eight kids? If we look an old man wear dirty clothes, we think he is poor but do we know he own 30 hectares estate? If we saw a pregnant young women walk alone went to the clinic, we would think she carried unwanted baby inside but do we know she have husband who went to somewhere and cannot go along with her to made regular medical check up?

We didn't know the truth. We made observation based on our eyes and an eye doesn't tell the truth constantly. We do have our own perception. We do like judge people but do we like to judge ourselves? No, we hate when people criticized us or talking bad about us. A Philippines proverb once said:

“The rattan basket criticizes the palm leaf basket; still both are full of holes”.

No matter how much mega-scale income you get every month, how high your education level or how great your power in office; you are just HIS small creature. Everybody is same. If you have superior in any field it still doesn’t mean you are allowing to judging people.

“O you who believe if a wicked person comes to you with any news, ascertain the truth, lest you harm people unwittingly, and afterwards becomes full of repentance for what you have done”(Al- Hujurat 49: 5)

I wrote this not for anybody. I wrote for myself. Last night I taught my kids what Prophet Jesus has advices us?

1. Always mention Allah when we are talking to avoid hardened heart.

2. Do not look at the wrong actions of other as if we are lords.

3. Look at our own wrong actions like the slaves we are.

4. Some people are afflicted with wrong actions while some are protected from them.

5. Have mercy for the ones afflicted and thank Allah for protecting to from wrong actions.

If someone bothers to know, my kids don’t go to school. They have home schooling and the only teacher is me. Last night I taught them about ways of life in philosophy subject. I knew people would say it is serious subject for three and six years old children. I true agree what Malay proverb once said “Meletur buluh biar dari rebungnya” and I make it into action.

Yes, way of life is a serious subject to learn. But the approach we taught our children is most serious.

Gusto kitang makasama habang buhay

1

Its 2.22am and I still awake. As usual, Umar needs his daddy to accompany him watch telly. No Ultraman tonight, he watches Batman. This morning he plans to plant papayaya. I taught him about photosynthesis and he wanted to know how papaya grows up. We have bought papaya’s seeds yesterday evening.

2

Honey, still miss me? It just one day without phone calls and you missed me so bad. No doubt I miss you too. Hey, don’t miss me that much. You won’t able to do anything if your heart just keeps calling my name. I knew you can handle heart matters. Please do that.

It’s good the whole lot have settled down. I’m quite worried. Obstacle is part of adventures. Remember that always. 

After they had confirmed that Anwar is Lelaki Y, today I read about sex video part two. Likes movie, the actor is still the same. I guess so.

I’m thinking about 1Malaysia e-mail that squanders our money. Do we need that? I think we most need free wireless hot spot rather than e-mail server.

3

My body becomes weaker day by day and I still keep doing chemotherapy. I need chemo to fight bad cells and in the same time, my body cannot stand tough to have radiotherapy. What should I do?  I live with high hope and its makes me still alive.

Hey adorable girl, I love so much. Please handle yourself with care.

You at all times look sexy in my eyes

Hi sweetie,

1.

Okay, sorry for not respond to your message. Blame to Maxis! Hey honey! We are at Cameron Highlands. It is not in my planning at first. Umar asked to bring him around and Huda comes out with suggestion to go to Cameron. I agreed!

On May 1st, we will fly to London for wedding occasion. I’m not sure how long we would stay there, maybe only one week. Everything in Ocio’s plan and he didn’t text or call me to inform. I guess him quite busy for last minute preparation.

When the whole thing have confirm, I will let you know.

2.

Good new for you. Utusan had reported that Lelaki Y is Anwar. I didn’t read further. It’s none of my curiosity. I bet you happy. That’s all I can tell you for today. Owh! Other interesting topic - Policemen have found fingers in plastic bag. Yes, only fingers without hand.

3

Honey, I think you didn’t have any capacity in taking pictures. Some pictures are blurring. You look sexy with pink t-shirt. You at all times look sexy in my eyes.

Miss you sweetheart.

Cherish your life today

1.

Yahoo! No more text books, no more notes, no more exams. I’m sure you are happy because exams have ends even today’s paper is more tough than expected. It is okay Honey. Don’t bother with that. Most importantly, you are free now, at least for two days before going to India.

Nothing much I could write here. Today just like yesterday. Everything seems to be fine. Huda has discharged from ward and Umar got fever last night. Umar didn’t sleep well last night because he misses his sister. I bought ice cream but Umar didn’t eat either Huda.

2.

I met an old man at dialysis centre. He was about 70’s something and he was alone. Nobody accompany him there. We had chit chat and exchange stories. He told me none of his kids wants to take care of him. They seem busy with works and daily life. He stays alone at his old house and nobody pay a visit at least once in a month. I could see his sad eyes and I nearly to cry.

He took bus from his house because he couldn't drive. I was imagining how hard it is for him to walk to the bus station and walk again to be here. Years before he stayed with his eldest son but not longer after that his son send him to old folk home.

Yeah…You know what it means.

He said his son is more than affordable to take care of him but still he refuse to. This old man needs a friend to talk to. I lend my ears for him for four hours. I know how sad he is. Fathers who work so hard for his children and had been throw by his own blood. Who didn't feel heartbreaking?

3.

I never expect to be like this. I mean to have brain cancer and use wheel chair to move. Like everyone else, I expected my life will be okay until my last breath. Life is unexpected. Today we are fine but tomorrow nobody knows. Maybe tomorrow is your last day on this earth. We pray and we hope everything would be fine as it is.

My whole life has changes a lot. Every single thing seems tough for me. I must adapt all those things. I must learn how to cope with that. We are on learning process every day. We learn how to make people love us, we learn how to make our life better than previous years, we learn how to be a better person from day to day, we learn how to cope with new thing happened around us, we do adapt new changes in daily life and so on.

Life is not easy as we think and yet not so hard. Every person has their own challenges. Everybody have their own accountable to carry. We have our own life. My life is not similar like you not because I am special. I believe each person of us is special. The thing is, we must think we are creating to be special. That’s the new way how I see my life.

Cherish your life today. Maybe tomorrow never comes. Who knows?

Poems

Its afternoon and I make great effort to complete Buku Puisi Untuk Dia. Until now, I have about 10 poems which are not enough. I was planned to write about 15 poems. She had asked about the progress of her present. I knew it sound not surprise.

Maybe when I have completed that book, I will show it here. No promise. I been stuck for a while when my baby lappy had attack by naughty Trojan. For three days I struggle to remove the virus. Thanks to the wife, she helps me a lot. Well, she’s computer experts.

Her birthday is tomorrow, April 12. I will give this present before she goes to India for one and half month. Hopefully, today I can have a rain of idea so I could write and complete this special present for special person in my life.

Much Love.

It’s not our option, God choose for us because He knows better.

Do we need any particular reason to love someone? We love someone for no exactly reason. So don’t bother to ask why. We used to hear love at first sight or last love ever after or puppy love. We believe what we want to believe. For instance, I do believe love at first sight while my wife believes last love. After all, it is about love. Love, in any case is more important than prosperous.

You cannot force someone to love or hate you but certain people do believe that shaman can do it. When I at a stall around my place, I hear [hearsay] someone talking about shaman. Forgive me for hearsay but I couldn't help myself not to hear that because they sit near me.

This woman was talking about her daughter who falling in love with a fat boy. She didn't like that boy simply because he is fat and she claim that her daughter is beautiful and deserve better. She was asking her friend about shaman. She wants the shaman work on something to make her daughter hate that fat boy.

It is not the first time I hear about that. Certain people meet shaman because they do trust shaman could make someone that they adorable fall in love with them. They believe shaman have power to do so. I don’t believe it. Shamans just want your money.

Why we always judge someone by their appearance? It doesn't matter fat or thin, black or white, as long as we love, then it's nothing to be question. There should be no double stand or discrimination. All human being are deserved to be in love. It’s in God’s hand not ours.

If we keep questioning why, it means we questioning God’s work. It’s beyond our ability to choose who we want to love. It’s not our option, God choose for us because He knows better. Remember He creates us.

In short, if we find shaman to change our destiny, it means we change His planned. I don’t know why we used to compare a couple through their appearance. For instance, A doesn't match to B because B is attractive whereas A is not so good-looking. B ought to have better in other words.

Who are we to say A is not suit for B while God write in our destiny that she/he is the one to accompany us in not-so-long journey?

We always want to be God.

Pelengkap

Dia,

si manis

kekasih saya sepanjang hayat.

Rasa

Sayang,

rasa itu

tak pernah luntur

tak akan padam

tak mungkin berkurangan

7 Hours

1.

I have a lot of stories to write. Well, infamous reason why I didn’t write simply because of time. Last week we went to my second hometown and straight to Langkawi Island. We stayed 3 days 2 nights. Nothing much differs and to be honest, I do not really love to spend my time there. I prefer Redang Island or at least Tioman.

My kids were so excited when I told them about the legends of Mahsuri. Umar keep asking me why these things happen, who involved in that conspiracy and so on. He enjoys asking question while her sister chooses to listen. Yeah, they have different character.

2.

…and I like the seven hours we lay side by side on Sunday morning in bed. Honey, I think we can write down our names in Guinness World Record for that seven-hours-record.

3.

I still on my mission to complete my poems book as a present for her. Don’t ask how many poems I have written. I wish I could finish it on time. If not, she will go to India without my present. I need to work hard in limited time. Please stop ticking.

4.

I think she has finished her revision. I need to climb into bed [borrow her words] to sleep.

I love you.