Friday, April 29, 2011

Don't judge others

I’m at a coffee shop while my assistant, Pak Mad, takes my kids to KLIBF. I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to navigate PWTC with a wheelchair through a crowded area. Sitting here with my laptop and books is much more comfortable. I look around and see many people walking around, holding hands. They notice me, and I smile in return.

The people here seem to be from the upper or upper-middle class. They drive exclusive cars, wear high-end clothing, and use the latest cell phones. They live their own lives, and it’s apparent that many foreigners—Arabs, Filipinos, Burmese, Siamese, Pakistanis, and others—are here too. We have a good life, and it attracts their attention and work.

As I observe these people, I admit I have my own views about them. Yes, it’s wrong to judge others without knowing their true selves, but we often can’t help but make initial impressions based on appearances. Unfortunately, these impressions can be far from the truth. We tend to judge people based on what we see rather than recognizing them as ordinary beings created by God.

For example, a young couple holding hands might seem unmarried, but they could have eight children. An old man in dirty clothes might appear poor, but he could own a 30-hectare estate. A pregnant young woman walking alone to the clinic might seem like she is carrying an unwanted baby, but she might have a husband who couldn’t join her for a routine check-up.

We don’t know the full story. We base our judgments on superficial observations, which are not always accurate. We often judge others but dislike being judged ourselves. As the Filipino proverb goes:

“The rattan basket criticizes the palm leaf basket; still, both are full of holes.”

No matter how much money you make, how high your education, or how powerful you are, you are still a small creature in the grand scheme of things. Everyone is the same. Having superiority in any field doesn’t give anyone the right to judge others.

The Quran advises:
 
“O you who believe, if a wicked person comes to you with any news, ascertain the truth, lest you harm people unwittingly, and afterwards become full of repentance for what you have done.” (Al-Hujurat 49:5)

I wrote this for myself, not for anyone else. Last night, I taught my kids the advice of Prophet Jesus:

1. Always mention Allah when speaking to avoid a hardened heart.
2. Do not view the wrong actions of others as if we are superior.
3. Examine our own wrong actions as if we are slaves.
4. Some people are afflicted by wrongdoing, while others are protected from it.
5. Have mercy for those afflicted and thank Allah for protecting us from wrongdoing.

For those curious, my kids don’t attend school; they are homeschooled with me as their sole teacher. Last night, I taught them about life’s philosophy. I understand people might say that philosophy is too serious a subject for three- and six-year-olds, but as the Malay proverb says, “Meletur buluh biar dari rebungnya,” which means “Train the bamboo while it’s still a shoot.” I put this into practice.

Yes, understanding life is a serious subject, but our approach to teaching our children is earnest and dedicated.