Hari Keempat

Scuba and snorkeling

Tonight song

I won't forget the way you're kissing

The feelings so strong were lasting for so long

But I'm not the man your heart is missing

That's why you go away I know

Sitting here all alone in the middle of nowhere

Don't know which way to go

There ain't so much to say now between us

There ain't so much for you

There ain't so much for me anymore

I won't forget the way you're kissing

The feelings so strong were lasting for so long

But I'm not the man your heart is missing

That's why you go away I know

That's why you go away I know......

That's Why (You Go Away)

Michael Learns To Rock

Tuesdate

Nothing marks a man's character better than his attraction to intelligence. ― Terry Goodkind.

Ketika di Kino tempoh hari, mata saya terpegun melihat seorang perempuan berkulit hitam manis, berbaju kurung Kedah dengan kain kipas. Kurus tinggi orangnya. Sungguh manis bila di pandang. Tambah manis bila dia tersenyum. Perempuan yang menyukai busana Melayu sudah semakin jarang di temui apatah lagi yang suka berkurung Kedah moden. Dia nampak classy, elegan, dan mempesonakan. Dari jauh tak dapat di nafikan dia kelihatan sangat manis dan cantik.

Dua kali bertemu dengannya dan kedua-duanya pada hari Selasa. Apakah mungkin rutin mingguannya membeli buku di Kino atau sekadar singgah untuk melepaskan rindu pada harum kedai buku? Persoalan itu masih belum dapat di jawab. Tempoh hari ketika bertemu dengannya, dia sedang leka membelek beberapa buah buku karangan Rehman Rashid. Saya tak nafikan, saya begitu kagum melihat cara dia membawa diri. 

Melihat dia membeli buku-buku Rehman Rashid, saya terpanggil untuk turut membelinya. Hari itu saya beli ketiga-tiga karya Rehman Rashid iaitu Peninsula: A Story of Malaysia, Small Town: A Personal Tribute To Kuala Kubu Baru, Hulu Selangor, Malaysia, dan Malaysian Journey. Perempuan berkurung Kedah meninggalkan Kino setelah membuat bayaran di kaunter. Haruman minyak wanginya, Chanel, seolah-olah masih berlegar hingga kini. 

Saya membawa salah satu buku Rehman Rashid ke Hawaii. Ketika membaca muka surat awal, saya terkenangkan perempuan berkurung Kedah. Apakah saya masih mempunyai peluang untuk bertemu dengannya pada setiap hari Selasa atau dia hilang begitu saja tanpa saya sempat mengenal dirinya?. Saya, barangkali, amat selesa dan mudah terpaut hati (terpesona maksudnya) dengan wanita cerdik dan saya kira dia salah satu darinya.

Hari Ketiga

Swim with dolphins

Lelaki bernama Imran

A woman with a beautiful body is good for a night, but a woman with a beautiful mind is good for a lifetime. – Anonymous

Kawan abang selalu tanya apa istimewanya awak pada abang. Abang tak pernah jawab. Selalunya abang cuma senyum. Abang tak pernah beritahu sesiapa. Ia sangat peribadi, sangat intim sifatnya. Abang sendiri tak mahu berkongsi dengan orang lain. Sesiapa pun tak perlu tahu. Selama kita bersama, awak tak pernah tanya dan abang sendiri tak pernah mempunyai niat untuk berkongsi.

Hari ini, selepas makan malam tiba-tiba Huda bertanya tentang awak. Abang masih tersenyum dan tak beri apa-apa jawapan. Cukuplah awak tahu, dari hati nurani dan kaca mata abang, sebagai seorang lelaki, abang meletakkan awak di tempat yang paling tinggi. Awak sangat istimewa di hati abang. Perasaan ini tak pernah muncul ketika abang bersama orang lain.

* * *

Kejar impian awak. Jangan benarkan sesiapa pun perkecilkan awak. Jangan benarkan sesiapa pun patahkan semangat awak. Jangan benarkan sesiapa pun rendahkan martabat awak. Letaklah diri awak dalam kelas yang tersendiri. Awak yang sangat istimewa di hati abang, sangat abang hormati, sangat abang cintai. 

Kalau nanti ada orang yang tak percaya pada awak, perkecilkan impian dan cita-cita awak, ingatlah bahawa ada seorang lelaki bernama Imran yang tak pernah meragui diri awak. Awak sama tinggi, sama rendah malah lebih baik dari kebanyakkan perempuan di luar sana. Ingatlah bahawa Imran ini selalu percaya pada awak walaupun seluruh dunia meragui kehebatan awak.

Lebarkan sayap, terbang lebih tinggi. Awak istimewa, sangat istimewa. Kalau awak keseorangan, ketahuilah ada seorang lelaki bernama Imran yang akan ada selalu dengan awak tak kira apa pun situasi awak. Kalau awak kesepian, keseorangan dalam dunia ini, ketahuilah bahawa ada seorang lelaki bernama Imran yang lebih kesepian setelah kehilangan perempuan yang paling dia sayangi. 

1.30 am

North Shore, Hawaii

Time will teach what true love is

When love is not accepted move on;

when love is not appreciated walk away;

hopefully time will teach what real, true love is.

― Jalaluddin Rumi

Hari Kedua

Windsurfing 

Di saat rindu merah menyala

Awak tahu, abang lelaki yang sangat pemalu. Menurut Ummi, abang shy and innocent boy. Mungkin sebab abang lelaki klasik, abang jarang cakap abang sayang awak. Sepanjang kita bersama, abang rasa boleh di kira hanya beberapa kali sahaja abang ucapkan kata sayang. Seingat abang, tak pernah walau sekali abang ucapkan  “I love you too”. 

Michael Faudet kata “The most beautiful sound in the world to me is not forest birdsong or babbling ... It's hearing you whisper, I love you, over and over again”. Bohonglah kalau abang cakap abang tak rindu awak cakap “I love you”. Merindui awak tak akan pernah habis, tak akan pernah selesai. Merindui awak suatu perjalanan yang tidak berpenghujung.

* * *

Abang lupa nombor telefon awak masih abang simpan. Tadi, sewaktu abang scroll senarai contact di WhatsApp, secara tak tersengaja abang terjumpa display profile awak. Oh! Awak sudah berpunya; “Let the world know who we are, let them envy how great we are together”. Ah! Status yang bunyinya sangat mengagumkan. Kita dulu cuma “Just the two of us”.

Abang cuba tahan air mata tapi nampaknya abang gagal. Orang kata “That physical feeling of extreme pain; like you just got a bullet, you get in your chest when you see the person you love, love someone else”. Hakikatnya, sakit terkena peluru tidak sesakit ini. Luka ini lebih dalam, lebih perit, lebih sakit dari segala kesakitan yang ada di atas dunia ini.

* * *

Lelaki yang berdiri di sebelah awak nampaknya tak ada persamaan dengan abang. Abang yakin perwatakannya sangat berbeza dengan abang (dan yang penting dia tak ada bulu dada; awak tak suka lelaki berbulu (kan)). Dia tak suka menyimpan jambang, tak masculine, tak fashionable, tak metrosexual seperti abang dan paling penting, abang lebih kacak, tampan dan menawan dari dia, kan? 

Sudah agak lama kita tak berbual panjang sambil ketawa dan mungkin kita tak akan berbual panjang dan ketawa bersama-sama lagi. Apa pun, abang ucapkan tahniah dan selamat bertukar status tak lama lagi. Semoga awak bahagia hingga ke syurga walaupun abang tahu dan sangat yakin awak masih belum mampu lupakan abang sepenuhnya.

* * *

Is there life after death? 

I don't know, 

but I died when you left

and I'm still alive.

― William C. Hannan

5.30am

Oahu North Shore

Everlasting love

I have loved you with an everlasting love. 

Hello Hawaii

Time to go surfing!

To love you

I am your moon and your moonlight too

I am your flower garden and your water too

I have come all this way, eager for you

Without shoes or shawl

I want you to laugh

To kill all your worries

To love you

To nourish you

― Rumi

Don't fight with other men over a woman

Don't fight with other men over a woman regardless of how amazing you think she is. She's not a trophy, asset, or a piece of territory. Let her work out who she wants to be with on her own, she's human.

― Unknown

A woman with class

A woman with class is timeless.

Zaman dah berubah daddy

Daddy: Umar buat apa tu?

Umar: Adik tekat dobi daddy

Daddy: Buat apa dekat dobi?

Umar: Adik hantar baju sekolah 

Daddy: Haih dekat rumah tak ada mesin basuh ke sampai ke dobi ni

Umar: Adik busy daddy

Daddy: Hantar dobi layan diri ke dobi orang cucikan tu

Umar: Dobi yang selalu daddy pergi

Daddy: Bukan mesin layan diri la ni. Malasnya Umar ni

Umar: Adik bukan malash. Adik menggunakan kemudahan yang di sediakan

Daddy: Kan dekat rumah ada mesin cucian kering. Sambil buat kerja boleh basuh baju kan

Umar: Tapi adik tene iron baju. Talau dobi adik ambil temua dah siap. Baju sekolah dalam plashtik

Daddy: Ada je nak menjawab kan

Umar: Daddy tuke hantar dobi. Adik anak daddy. Adik ikut daddy

Daddy: Daddy basuh baju sendiri. Mana pernah Nenek Siti basuhkan baju daddy. Daddy iron semua sendiri. Baju tertentu je daddy hantar dobi dengan cadar selimut semua tu je. Umar ni baju sekolah pun hantar dobi

Umar: Zaman dah berubah, daddy

Daddy: Yelah. Esok Umar dapat bini pemalas macam Umar jangan sibuk nak bergosip dengan daddy. Jangan cakap daddy tak warning

Umar: Tak baik daddy takap adik dapat isteli pemalash. Doa seorang ayah cepat termakbul haa

Daddy: Habis dah baju sekolah pun hantar dobi

via phone

Mexico City

23012017

Remain eternally pure

Hearts united in pain and sorrow will not be separated by joy and happiness. Bonds that are woven in sadness are stronger than the ties of joy and pleasure. Love that is washed by tears will remain eternally pure and faithful.

― Khalil Gibran

Kereta adik-adik

Umar: Daddy nak beli kereta baru ke?

Daddy: Ha’ah

Umar: Daddy nak beli kereta Audi?

Daddy: Daddy tak minat Audi

Umar: Adik pun tak minat Audi. Kereta adik-adik

Daddy: Hahaha marah Pakcik Ary kalau dengar

Hamlet

Where love is great, the littlest doubts are fear. Where little fears grow great, great love grows there.

― William Shakespeare

Tak ada life

Daddy: Sepanjang daddy outstation Umar buat apa?

Umar: Adik busy daddy

Daddy: Sibuk dengan apa? 

Umar: Sekolah. Sejak adik sekolah adik tak ada life

Daddy: Haih budak-budak pun nak ada life ke

Umar: Adik nak life macam daddy. Adik lase hidup adik tak berguna daddy

Daddy: Jawapan bukan main lagi kan

Umar: Adik penatlah daddy. Adik nak main golf tapi adik busy

Daddy: Mana ada orang pergi sekolah tak penat

Umar: Adik nak main golf. Kakak tak dapat gardening. Tak ada life daddy

Daddy: Daddy waktu budak-budak dulu tak pernah pulak fikir tak ada life apa semua ni. Dahsyat betul budak-budak sekarang ni kan

311204

We're the perfect two.

Debu

Kerana aku tak mahu

menjadi debu yang

menyakiti matamu.

Kosovo

20012017

When they are angry

Never forget what a person says to you when they are angry.

― Henry Ward Beecher

The feeling

I sometimes find, and I am sure you know the feeling, that I simply have too many thoughts and memories crammed into my mind…

— J.K. Rowling

Process of loving someone

The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.

― Ernest Hemingway, Men Without Women

Love never dies

Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.

― Anaïs Nin

A lot of pain

I think you still love me, but we can’t escape the fact that I’m not enough for you. I knew this was going to happen. So I’m not blaming you for falling in love with another man. I’m not angry, either. I should be, but I’m not. I just feel pain. A lot of pain. I thought I could imagine how much this would hurt, but I was wrong.

― Haruki Murakami

My only companion

Love was my only companion, from the beginning to the end of my life.

— Rumi

A relationship

You learn more about someone at the end of a relationship than at the beginning of it.

― Unknown

Keep your personal life personal

“You’re lonely. Please ambil I jadi girlfriend you”

“Hahaha Min, Min”

“I dapat 7983 love on IG tau. Gambar you and my mom”

“Boring-nya hidup semua nak post hahaha”

“Hidup you lagi boring kot”

“Kenapa pulak?”

“Yelah you mana ada FB, Twitter, IG. Bosan gila”

“Kalau boleh WhatsApp pun aku tak nak guna. Baru je install balik lepas 2 minggu uninstall”

“What the heck is with you”

“A classy man like me always loves private life. Private life is a happy life. Remember that”

“Dari dulu sampai sekarang remain the same. Suka puji diri”

“Bagus la kan”

“You perli I ke”

“My personal view, your private life is your private life. Keep it to yourself”

“Kesian tau your future wife”

“Laa betul apa. Relationship should be between two people. Keep your personal life personal”

“Since my mom dah geng dengan you, hari-hari dia tanya pasal you. My mom suka you”

“Tu la. Susah jadi orang hot ni hahaha”

“Hot sangat until your ex tinggalkan you”

“Hahaha nak buat macam mana the grass always looks greener on the other side”

“Your ex dah kawin ke?”

“Entah”

“You tak contact dia ke?”

“Tak”

“Frust gila you kan. Nasib you tak mental”

“Lelaki macho, hot, handsome, good looking, charming, sweet, kacak, tampan, lagi menawan macam aku ni tak macholah frust lama-lama. Habis title playboy plus casanova aku tu hahaha”

“I know you very well dear”

“Aku happy je ada anak-anak. Have fun dengan anak-anak je sekarang”

“Bapak-bapak sangat”

“Sibuk tanya orang. Yang dia bila pulak. Aunty kata ada orang masuk merisik. Siapa tu?”

“Creepy guy. My mom told you everything eh that night”

“Hahaha dah jadi kamceng kan. Mestilah. Siapa laki tu?”

“Psychopath. I takut tau dengan mamat senget tu. IG I semua dia stalked. Creepy gila”

“Tahu pun. Post lagi semua benda”

“Sayang jugak you dekat I”

“Hahaha ambil berat namanya”

“How wonderful if I meant the world to you”

You’re a part of my life

It is good if we can talk like mother and son. I miss you, Ibu. While having a chat with Yasmin’s mom, my mind travel to you. How good if we can share a lot of stories while watching the night sky. 

I don’t have any explanation why I really miss you. Maybe we have secret bones. I hope you’re doing fine and happy with your loved ones. I may not be your favorite son-in-law but you’re my favorite mom of all planets. 

It’s weird. Missing you makes my tears falling down. I’m not lying. I am missing you. May you have a good life ahead. You’ll always in my prayer. Please take care of your health and enjoy every moment of your life. 

I’m not a part of your family, but you’re a part of my life. 

Your favorite son-in-law

Imran

Dinner with Yasmin

Terasa segar dan sihat setelah membuat rawatan spa. Ambil tiga pakej; therapeutic massage, aroma shell release, dan power lift facial yang setiap satu sesi mengambil masa kira-kira 1 jam 20 minit. Spa ini sangat cantik dengan interior design yang amat mengagumkan. Terdapat pelbagai pakej yang di tawarkan dengan caj sekitar £165 untuk setiap sesi. Sebelum pulang, ahli terapi nasihatkan supaya selalu bermeditasi. Katanya badan terlalu stres dan perlukan rehat yang banyak. 

Selesai sesi spa, bergerak ke kedai gunting rambut. Seperti bulan lepas, gaya pompadour masih di kekalkan cuma kali ini pompadour fade with hard part + defined lines menjadi pilihan. Bila usia menganjak 40an, rasanya lebih manis jika wajah di hiasi jambang nipis/halus. Jambang nipis/halus menampakkan sisi matang seorang lelaki dan kelihatan lebih maskulin. Entah kenapa sejak dahulu tak pernah berminat untuk menyimpan janggut walaupun ia adalah sunnah Nabi. 

Berjanji dengan Min untuk makan malam di rumahnya. Oleh itu, singgah di butik William Hunt dan beli sepasang suits - The Ashmore Classics Dinner Jacket in Navy Geometric Pattern with Purple Hugh. Selepas butik William Hunt, ke Harrods dan beli sepasang lagi suits. Setelah hampir sejam membuat pilihan, akhirnya memilih Dolce & Gabbana - Wool Martini Fit Three Piece Suit untuk di pakai pada acara dinner syarikat nanti. 

* * *

Sampai di rumah Min jam 9.00 malam. Makanan telah pun terhidang di atas meja. Kehadiran di sambut mesra oleh bonda Min. Nampaknya malam itu dia sangat gembira bila di hadiahkan sejambak bunga lavender. Katanya, dia sudah lama tidak menerima jambangan bunga sejak arwah suaminya meninggal dunia kira-kira 20 tahun lepas. Suaminya pada fikiranku, adalah seorang suami yang amat menghargai isteri kerana kerap menghadiahkan bunga sebagai lambang ketelusan hati.

Masakan malam itu sangat sedap terutamanya sup kambing. Sudah lama rasanya tak makan sup kambing sesedap ini. Orang kata, sup kambing dapat menyegarkan tubuh yang lesu dan keletihan. Banyak juga hidangan malam itu terutamanya menu dari Turki. Tentulah bonda Yasmin mahir memasak masakan Turki kerana dia berkahwin dengan lelaki Turki yang menurutnya amat gemarkan makanan. 

Kami berbual panjang malam itu dan tentu sekali sedikit sebanyak menyentuh hal peribadi masing-masing. Banyak yang kami bualkan sebenarnya; dari satu topik ke satu topik yang lain - tentang percintaan, perpisahan, karier, dunia global dan tentu sekali tentang Yasmin. Aku berterus terang memberitahunya bahawa aku menganggap Yasmin sebagai kawan, kawan yang sangat baik dan senang di dampingi supaya dia tidak tertanya-tanya. 

Hyde Park,

6.05 am

16-01-17

Greatest part of a road trip

Because the greatest part of a road trip isn’t arriving at your destination. It’s all the wild stuff that happens along the way. 

— Unknown 

I'm still the same person as before

“I just come to say sorry. I regret treating you badly”

“You look totally different”

“My new hair cut?”

“No. The tone of your voice”

“Anything wrong?”

“You're so nice and soft spoken”

“You look surprised”

“A bit”

“I have internal conflict and that pointed to you. So yeah, I blame myself and you become a victim”

“So abang…”

“Imran”

“Sorry”

“Lama dekat sini?”

“Datang ada kerja. Hanna, saya minta maaf. Broke up made me behave like a crazy man”

“That’s okay”

“I'd better take my leave”

“Okay. Take care Imran”

“You too”

“I like the old you”

“I'm still the same person as before”

“Thanks a latte for stopping by”

“You’re welcome”

The beauty of the heart

The only lasting beauty

is the beauty of the heart

— Rumi

Morning in London

It’s easy to remember when you never forget.

When we do find each other again

And when we do find each other again, we'll cling together so tight that nothing and no one'll ever tear us apart. Every atom of me and every atom of you... We'll live in birds and flowers and dragonflies and pine trees and in clouds and in those little specks of light you see floating in sunbeams... And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they wont' just be able to take one, they'll have to take two, one of you and one of me, we'll be joined so tight...

― Philip Pullman

Just a memory

She was just a memory that made me smile.

Rainy day in London,

14th Jan 2017

7.13pm

Dinner

“Hai Min”
“Hi you”
“Dekat mana?”
“Home”
“Good. Aku nak datang dinner, boleh?”
“You serious?”
“Yups! Tonight”
“Bila you landed?”
“Baru je”
“I baru cakap dengan my mom pasal you tau. Panjang umur you”
“Memang nak jumpa auntie pun. See you tonight”
“You nak merisik I ke? Nervous I tau”
“Hahaha jangan nak perasan”
“My mom so excited to meet you”
“Ingat Min jangan pedas”
“Comel you ni tak makan pedas”
“Bukan tak makan. Tak boleh makan”
“Same lah”
“Lain”
“Better I cari barang dapur”
“Okey. Bye. Ingat, jangan pedas”
“Bye handsome”
“Bye Jules”

Snowfall in London

It's started snowing in London.

I’ll meet you again

I like missing you so hard because it makes me feel strongly that you are not a dream, you are real, you are living, and I’ll meet you again. 

— Simone de Beauvoir

Long Flight

Reading Iran's Ministry of Intelligence and Security: A Profile while taking a long flight. 

The assassination of Iranian nuclear scientists

• Alireza Asgari, a former deputy defence minister, vanished while visiting Turkey in 2006. He is believed to have defected to a foreign intelligence agency.

• Ardeshir Hossein-Pour, a nuclear scientist who worked at Iran's uranium conversion facility in Isfahan, died suddenly in 2007 at the age of 44. The official explanation was that he succumbed to "gas suffocation".

• Massoud Ali Mohammadi, a professor of physics and nuclear energy at Tehran University, was killed when a remote-controlled bomb exploded outside his home in January 2010.

• Shahram Amiri, a physicist who worked at the Natanz uranium enrichment plant, disappeared while on a pilgrimage to Mecca in May 2009. He later turned up in the US, before returning to Iran in July 2010 where he disappeared again, probably into Iranian custody as a suspected defector.

• Majid Shahriari, a member of the nuclear engineering faculty at the Shahid Beheshti University in Tehran, was killed on 29 November 2010 when attackers riding motorcycles attached a bomb to his car window. This became the modus operandi for three assassination attempts.

• Fereydoun Abbasi, also a professor at Shahid Besheshti University, was wounded in an identical attack on same day. Three months later, he was promoted to become head of the Iranian Atomic Energy Organisation.

• Darioush Rezaei-Nejad, who was studying for a masters degree in electronics at Khajeh-Nasir Tousi University, was shot dead in Tehran in July 2011. Reports suggest he was a graduate of Malek-e-Ashtar University, which is affiliated to Iran's defence ministry.

• General Hassan Tehrani Moghaddam, the head of Iran's ballistic missile programme, was killed in an explosion at military base outside Tehran on 12 November 2011.

• Mostafa Ahmadi-Roshan, a chemist who worked at the Natanz uranium enrichment facility, was killed by a bomb attached to his car window in Tehran on 11 January 2011.

• In total, 5 Iranian nuclear scientists have been killed since 2007. Another has been wounded and one more has disappeared. In addition, the head of Iran's ballistic missile programme has been killed and a deputy defence minister disappeared.

Source Telegraph

* * *

Shahram Amiri, a scapegoat. 

Full moon

When outside and saw the moon and it made me think of you.

Definition of perfect

You’re my definition of perfect.

Tertunduk malu

Daddy: Sekolah macam mana?

Umar: Adik tak boleh fokush daddy

Daddy: Laa kenapa?

Umar: Ada seolang budak pelempuan dia pandang adik

Daddy: Habis Umar buat apa? 

Umar: Adik tertunduk malu

Daddy: Hahahahaha sabar je la Umar ni 

How to clear your mind

• Read a great book
• Write down your thoughts in a journal
• Hit the gym hard
• Go for a long run
• Go punch for punch in the boxing ring
• Take some time to meditate

I will get a back massage tomorrow. Feel so exhausted. Why am I being so hard to forget her? Why does I am so in love with her and what the fucking I can’t let her go? Why God? Why?

You know, it really messed up my life with this 3-years-heartache. Please help me. Help me to clear my mind. Help me to release my tense. 

A Man and His Machine Part II

Country of Origin

The country of origin of a car will tell you plenty about the man and his relationship to his mother. The country is the motherland and a girlfriend eventually supplants the mother.

American

An American-made car brand represents a relationship with women that is based on trust and freedom. The world ends up trusting American leadership and working to emulate its freedom. A man who drives an American car brand is more comfortable with a woman who has her own individual identity.

Asian

Cars from Asia, primarily Japan, represent a relationship with women that hinges on a defined role. The world admires Asia's efficiency and ability to do without personal agendas as a means of achieving the common good. A man who drives an Asian car wants the woman in his life to serve a well-defined role.

European

European cars represent a need to appear classy and a superficial affiliation with lifestyle appearances rather than relationship depth. From Fiat to the Beemer, Lamborghini to Rolls Royce (with the exception of Yugo), European cars are driven by men who either are players or perceive themselves to be players even though they are not successful at it.

Type of Car

The type of car he drives reflects how he sees himself. No matter where his car comes from, every particular brand and make of automobile reflects an archetype of the person behind the wheel. The type of car he drives shows you what he thinks about himself.

Sedan

While sedans appear to be strictly for the conformists of the world, the man at the wheel of a sedan sees himself as fair-minded and in favor of everyone being free to pursue what they like. He is probably more vain about his intellect than his appearance. You can make fun of him for wearing a Hawaiian shirt or for having an out of date hairstyle, but don't attempt to manipulate him as he will be furious that you thought him so stupid as to not catch your little game.

Pick-up Truck

A man who owns a pick-up truck is inherently community minded and enjoys being part of something bigger than himself. This is a future family man and a joy to have when something around the house needs fixing. He may be a bit set in his ways, though, as the pickup truck owner has definite ideas about the way the world works and is not interested in straying too far from these perceptions, no matter how inaccurate or out of touch they may be. Getting a pickup truck driver to change his mind or admit he was wrong is a major accomplishment.

Monster Truck

See above, but less community minded and even more stubborn and certain he is always right, even when the facts clearly show the contrary.

SUV

The man behind the wheel of an SUV is a take-charge man who will work to make you feel comfortable and secure. If he succeeds in making you feel this way, don't get too comfortable, because he will expect things, once established, to always stay the same. Been to a neat, new restaurant? Enjoy it once, because SUV man will only take in new experiences every so often, so unless it makes his list of three favorite places to go, there will not be a return trip to that new, cool place for another half-decade.

Convertible

A man in a convertible looks free and unbothered by the world around him. And he is. He is also never too hassled by a committed relationship or thoughts of the long-term beyond this weekend. He is great to know casually as he always knows the good clubs, happening bars and other new phenomena on the scene, but other than making the scene, he cannot really be relied on for much else, especially to commit to becoming part of a true love relationship. But he often has cute buddies who drive pickups and sedans …

Motorcycle

See above, but less into the hip new scene and more into carving out his own experiences in the world. This man is the author of his own story, but he likely will never find a publisher.

Classic Car

A man who drives a classic car is diligent and fastidious, a hopeless romantic and someone who considers his relationship to be part of a grand drama. There might, in fact, be too much drama, as you are relegated to a co-starring role in any relationship with him (potentially behind his car).

A Beater

A man who drives a beater loves you because you will do. This is the kind of guy you settle for when you have given up on your big dreams and are just trying to make it day-to-day, month to month. He settled for the car and he settled for you, too. He might not aim higher when it comes to autos, but you can aim higher for a partner.

Hybrid

Behind the wheel of the hybrid is the guy who wants to be seen as doing the right thing. He wants to be environmentally correct. He wants to see the right bands and know the right people. He wants to be right a little too much, though, as he will continually point out to you and your friends and your family just where they are wrong regarding issues of how they maintain their households, how they raise their kids and how they vote in upcoming elections. If you want to live up to high standards, move in with a man who drives a hybrid.

Source KEEN

Suit yourself, son!

Daddy: So, how's your day going?

Umar: Pukul 6 pagi adik bangun pagi 

           Pukul 6.30 adik solat

           Pukul 7 pagi adik sarapan

           Pukul 7.30 pagi adik pergi sekolah

           Pukul 7.55 pagi adik pelhimpunan

           Pukul 8.00 pagi adik masuk telash

           Pukul 8.10 pagi cikgu adik mula membebel talam telash daddy

Daddy: Hahaha suit yourself, son!

Every lovely word

You are every lovely word I could possibly think of.

A Man and His Machine

Does your car reflect your personality? It certainly does, especially with men. Men often buy cars just for the sense of identity a certain car gives them. Sometimes they do it consciously, as when they buy a Porsche to be flashy, gain attention and, for some men, they try to seem younger and trendier to women. 

Sometimes the type of car a man buys is done unconsciously, such as when he is attracted to a particular type of car without knowing why. The reason is usually because that car reflects something within the man’s personality and his desire to buy it is his way of responding to that reflection. 

Whether purchased with a purposeful eye to make a statement or purchased without a conscious knowledge of why, the type of car a man drives does say a lot about his personality. So what does your car say about who you are? 

There are certain types of men who just seem to “go” with certain types of cars. These may be stereotypical associations, but they are true, nonetheless. At a glance, the car you drive can help someone tell your probable interests, personal tastes, personality, and even career! For the types of men who would buy said Porsche for its sleek looks, is it likely that they would know how to fix the car? Never mind change a tire, or any other Porsche parts when something goes wrong. 

When a car salesperson tells you a car is “really you,” he or she usually means it. 

Here is a quick summary of different types of cars and what they say about the men who own them. Can you spot yourself anywhere on this list? If you can and the association surprises you, then you may have yet to uncover some of your personality traits. Your car is trying to help you better know yourself! 

Luxury Cars 

Typically, men who make a lot of money and want to enjoy it own luxury cars. The men who buy these cars don’t care about gas mileage or practicality. They just want all the luxury upgrades their money can buy to make driving the car a relaxing, and even decadent, experience. 

Mid-Sized Cars 

Men who drive mid-sized cars usually have young children. These cars are used to transport the kids, go grocery shopping and take family trips. These cars are usually highly rated for safety and are not flashy in appearance at all. Women and single fathers are the most common buyers of mid-sized cars. 

Hatchbacks 

Hatchbacks are usually very small cars. Don’t worry if you have a small car. The myth of a man’s car being an extension of his penis is not true; however, having a small car does say some other things about you. Driving a small car means you’re conscious of the environment and want to help improve it, you don’t care about the impression that your car gives off to others, and your goal in a vehicle is for it to be as practical and economical as possible. 

Sports Cars 

Do you have a sports car? You might simply be trying to gain attention. That’s usually the reason most men have for buying sports cars. Men who drive sports cars care more about having a flashy, good-looking car, than a car that runs well or is good to the environment. They don’t need it to carry a lot of people, since it will usually just be them driving it on their own, or with one other person. Financially successful young men, or men going through the typical mid-life crisis (sometimes married but more often divorced), are the most frequent buyers of sports cars. 

Consider what type of car you have and how well you think it reflects your personality based on this guide. Remember, even if you don’t think your personality is reflected by the car you drive, other people do. The car you’re driving now is sending a clear message about you to the world. Make sure it’s the message you want people to receive.

Also remember, whether you purchase your car with intentions of making a statement or justly because you found yourself drawn to the vehicle, the type of car a man drives says a lot about his personality. So what does your car say about who you are?

Elite Daily

Mati mengejut

Umar: Adik nak smartphone macam Kakak

Daddy: Daddy dah beli. Satu untuk Umar, satu untuk Adam

Umar: Budak tecik-tecik dapat telefon daddy?

Daddy: Daddy letak tracker dekat smartphone. Kalau jadi apa-apa senang

Umar: Ada olang jahat nak culik budak tecik-tecik daddy?

Daddy: Taklah. Tapi elok kita sedia. Handphone Umar pun ada. Kakak pun

Umar: Ada apps apa daddy dalam telefon adik?

Daddy: Semua ada. Tapi boleh guna sampai pukul 3 je. Lepas tu kena bagi balik dekat daddy. Kalau tak, nanti asyik main handphone je

Umar: Malam daddy?

Daddy: Tak boleh

Umar: Tetejab pun tak boleh daddy?

Daddy: 30 minit sebelum tidur, okey?

Umar: Tetengah jam je daddy? 1 jamlah daddy

Daddy: Kalau macam tu tak payah guna terus. Esok pagi baru guna

Umar: Talau adik ada urgent macam mana daddy

Daddy: Budak kecik ada urgent jugak ke?

Umar: Ada daddy

Daddy: Contohnya?

Umar: Tawan adik mati mengejut haa

Daddy: Bagi contoh kalau tak gempak memang tak sah kan

Umar: Hehehe

Everything turns around

Daddy tahu Kakak tak nak masuk asrama tapi daddy rasa itulah yang terbaik untuk Kakak. Daddy rasa sebak juga sebenarnya. Ini merupakan kali pertama kita tinggal berjauhan. Daddy janji kalau Kakak rasa tak selesa tinggal di asrama, daddy akan sekolahkan Kakak di Ipoh. Umar tak mahu sekolah di JDT. Nampaknya kita tak akan berpindah. Kita akan menetap di Ipoh seperti biasa. Umar dan Adam akan bersekolah di Ipoh. Daddy tak dapat hantar Adam ke Japanese International School sebab di Ipoh tiada sekolah bekurikulum Jepun.

Daddy tahu Kakak sebenarnya tak gembira nak tinggalkan daddy. Daddy tahu Kakak tak kisah kalau tak sekolah. Sebagai seorang ayah, daddy perlu sekolahkan Kakak. Kakak perlu hadiri pendidikan formal walaupun bila besar nanti, Kakak tak bercita-cita untuk berkerja dengan orang lain. Daddy tahu Kakak bercita-cita untuk buka sebuah galeri lukisan. Daddy tahu Kakak mahu jadi pelukis sepenuh masa. Sungguhpun begitu, Kakak tetap perlu ke sekolah. Daddy tak dapat ajar banyak perkara di rumah. Di sekolah Kakak akan dapat input yang lebih banyak. Banyak perkara baru yang boleh Kakak terokai.

Daddy tahu Kakak berat hati tinggal di asrama sebab risaukan daddy. Sebenarnya, daddy yang perlu jaga Kakak bukan Kakak yang jaga daddy. Kakak jangan risau. Daddy tak ponteng makan ubat, daddy akan tidur awal, daddy tak ponteng makan. Daddy akan jaga diri sebab daddy nak tengok Kakak membesar. Daddy nak Kakak fokus pada belajar. Daddy tak nak heret anak-anak daddy dalam masalah peribadi. Anak-anak daddy perlu ke sekolah, perlu ada hidup normal macam orang lain. Daddy sedar, sejauh manapun daddy lari bawa diri, tak ada apa yang berubah.

Daddy minta maaf sebab daddy tak benarkan Kakak telefon/WhatsApp mama. Daddy tahu Kakak nak sangat mama ada pada hari pendaftaran nanti. Daddy tahu Kakak nak keluarga kita seperti keluarga orang lain tapi maafkan daddy, daddy tak mampu berikan Kakak sebuah keluarga yang sempurna waktu ini. Daddy masih bergelut dengan diri sendiri. Daddy masih di rantai kisah lepas. Daddy, agaknya, masih belum move on sepenuhnya. Emosi daddy selalu tak stabil dan Kakak sendiri tahu daddy di masukkan ke wad psikiatri selama lima minggu pada tahun lepas.

Daddy sayangkan mama. Daddy sangat sayangkan mama. Daddy tak nak hidup mama susah sebab daddy. Perkara paling pahit adalah bila mama tinggalkan daddy untuk hidup dengan orang lain sebab daddy tak mampu bahagiakan mama. Itu adalah perkara paling pedih sepanjang hayat daddy. Dan bila suatu hari nanti mama akan berkahwin dengan orang lain, itu adalah saat yang paling daddy takuti sepanjang usia daddy. Daddy paling takut bila mama tak sayang daddy lagi. Daddy paling sedih bila mama tak sayang daddy seperti waktu lepas.

Daddy tak boleh pentingkan diri. Setiap kali daddy teringatkan mama, tak pernah daddy tak menangis. Tapi daddy tak boleh tunjuk depan Kakak yang daddy tak kuat. Daddy perlu jaga Kakak, Umar dan Adam. Daddy sekolahkan Kakak di international school sebab daddy ada perancangan untuk pindah ke Amerika Syarikat semula. Atas sebab itu daddy perlu biasakan Kakak dan adik-adik dengan sistem pembelajaran US. Kalau kita tak menetap di US, kita akan tinggal di UK atau mungkin di Sweden atau New Zealand.

Daddy sayang nak tinggalkan Malaysia sebab mama ada di sini. Daddy balik Malaysia beberapa tahun lepas sebab mama. Daddy sayang nak jual rumah kita sebab daddy bina rumah ini untuk mama walaupun daddy tahu mama tak suka tinggal di kawasan terpencil. Daddy jual rumah di S2 bila mama bagitahu daddy yang dia sudah jatuh cinta pada orang lain dan mereka merancang untuk beli rumah di tempat lain. Mama kata daddy susah di bawa berunding. Daddy tak ada perancangan seperti orang baru dalam hidup dia. Dan mama betul. Daddy tak salahkan mama.

Daddy harap suatu hari nanti Kakak akan faham. Daddy sedih hari ini sebab Kakak merajuk dengan daddy. Kalau Kakak minta seisi dunia, daddy mampu berikan. Daddy tak nak Kakak telefon mama. Daddy tak nak everything turns around. Daddy tahu kalau Kakak telefon mama, mama akan datang pada hari pendaftaran Kakak. Daddy harap Kakak jangan marah daddy. Daddy harap Kakak dapat maafkan daddy. Daddy tak ada niat nak sekat Kakak tapi itu yang perlu daddy lakukan untuk kebaikan kita bersama. Suatu hari nanti daddy janji daddy beritahu sebab-sebabnya.

Daddy,

Kabin Di Tepi Tasik

3.50 am

Like a curse

Now those memories come back to haunt me. They haunt me like a curse.

― Bruce Springsteen

3 tahun lepas

Orang asing yang singgah di matamu.

― Karl Agan

Linwood taurus

“Pandai ikat tie tak?”
“Tak”
“Nanti kena la belajar”
“Sampai ke tak eh?”
“Diri atas kerusi. Comel je hahaha”

* * *

Waktu abang ikat tie gaya linwood taurus, abang teringatkan awak. Tentulah awak tak bertambah tinggi, masih perlu gunakan kerusi. Belajarlah ikat tie. Mungkin suatu hari nanti awak akan ikatkan tie untuk abang.

* * *

Good bye may seem forever. Farewell is like the end, but in my heart is the memory and there you will always be.

― Walt Disney Company, Fox and the Hound

Menulis ramalan

It takes a huge effort to free yourself from memory.

— Paulo Coelho

Anwar Ibrahim

“Okey, menang”

“Tu sebab sayang tak nak cakap pasal Anwar Ibrahim. You always took as personal. You’re too offensive”

* * *

Abang paling suka bila kita “bertengkar” tentang kes Anwar Ibrahim walaupun kita end up “bergaduh” dan kadang-kala sehingga bermasam muka. Abang suka karismatik yang ada pada awak.

Mungkin, oleh sebab kita selalu “bergaduh” tentang Anwar Ibrahim, awak tak mahu / mengelak / enggan memberi sebarang respon / jawapan bila abang bertanya tentang perkembangan kes beliau.

Salah abang sebab abang selalu rasa “tak selesa” dengan nada penghujahan awak hingga sampai satu masa awak sendiri tak mahu bercakap apa-apa tentang perkembangan politik semasa.

* * *

I’ve learned that 

people will forget what you said, 

people will forget what you did, but,

people will never forget how you made them feel.

— Maya Angelou

The ache of missing you

“Mandi dulu. Ada bau”

“Namo. Nak baring dekat abang”

“Ada bau peluh”

“Biarlah. Nak baring jugak”

“Hahahaha”

* * *

Berjaga-jagalah seandainya kau memilih

untuk mudik arus waktu.

Kau semakin jauh ke dalam kabut,

bila-bila akan tiba ribut.

Seorang tua pernah berkata,

lihatlah bagaimana kenangan melumuri mereka,

terperangkap dalam waktu yang kian reda

hanya untuk menemukan sebaris kata

dari waktu lalu.

Berjaga-jagalah seandainya kau memilih

untuk mudik arus waktu,

Kenangan adalah jeram yang memerangkap

dan akhirnya menenggelamkan.

- Karl Agan

Hello!

2017