Satu benda

"Ara, boleh tak abang mintak satu benda?"

"Abang nak apa?"

"Sini la nak bisik"

"Mengada kan"

"Rapat sikit"

"Apa, bang?"

"………"

"Abanggg"

"………"

"Abanggg"

"………"

"………"

"Hahaha tahu pun senyap"

"Jahat"

"Rindu…"

"One more, please"

"………"

"Comot pipi kita"

"Cium tempat lain kang haa"

"Hihi tak nak, tak nak"

Do char kadam

"Jom la nari Dholna. Bukan susah pun"

"Busy bang"

"Nak abang paksa ke nak rela?"

"Jahat la abang ni"

Brazilian coffee

"Sedapnya Ara"

"Brazilian coffee"

"Bukan kopi…Ara…"

*senyum*

Romantic evening at home

My very own,

We shared a magical dinner in the seclusion of our bedroom. We swayed together in a dance of love, laughter echoing in the air, our hearts entwined in a tender embrace. Our lips met in sweet kisses, sealing a moment that will forever linger in our memories. 

My dearest, your presence filled my soul with joy and warmth. Thank you for a night so enchanting and precious. It was a treasure I will always cherish.

Love and only love,

Sugar boo

Nak manja

"Call kakak angkat Ara kejab"

"Nak buat apa?"

"Nak mengadu. Dia ni tak nak layan saya. Marah dia kejab. Kesian saya. Saya nak manja"

"Eeee! Geram!"

"Ara, Ara. Cuba rasa dada abang"

"Abang ni kannnn. Geram tau tak"

Kawan lelaki

"Dalam friend list kita tak ada kawan laki. Banyak yang add, tapi kita reject. Kawan di luar media sosial je"

"Bagus la. Tak jadi bahan tatapan mata lelaki. Tu beza bini absng dengan perempuan lain"

"Haff pun tak pernah friend dekat FB. Dia meroyan suruh add. Tak kuasa kita"

"Kesian member"

1 saat

"Sebelum Subuh abang dah jemur kain. Siap dah semua"

"Abang…sorry…"

"English breakfast tapi kek macam tak jadi. Tolong boleh?"

"Tak cukup telur"

"Telur abang ada hehe"

"………"

"Haip! Jangan gagau haha"

"Abang guna apa?"

"Ikut resipi"

"Abang ni kan. Salah"

"Mana tahu abang mana pernah masak kek"

"Astu kenapa masak?"

"Hmm…nak bagi sekali dengan ni tapi tak jadi pulak kek tu"

"Abang tak tidur?"

"Kerja dah siap. Ara nak pergi mana jom"

"Tak ada mood"

"Sailing nak?"

"Panas, bang"

"Tengok sunset atas boat?"

"Terbakar kulit kita"

"Polo?"

"Malas"

"Track?"

"Malas"

"Hiking?"

"Malas"

"Pantai?"

"Malas"

"Movie?"

"Boleh dipertimbangkan"

"Cancel. Kita kayuh basikal"

"Malasssss"

"Asmaradana nak?"

"Tak ada mood eh"

"Wahai mood, kembalilah"

"Tak nakkkk"

"Abang kan ada jalak lenting, ganas dan perkasa hmm"

"Tak kuasa layan abang"

"Ara…lama la tak panjat-panjat"

"Panjat gunung sana"

"Tapi kan…gunung tak ada bau macam…sayang…" *lentok kepala dekat bahu*

"Wrong time nak manja"

*rangkul pinggang*

"Abang…"

"Hmm…"

"Lepas…anak dah turun"

"1 saat"

Human pleasure

"Macamana abang sakit bila saya dengan laki saya...itu la sakit saya bila abang dengan isteri abang..."

(April 23, 2024)

_

Hurt... If you want to talk about hurt, I felt it a decade ago when you walked away from my life. Like you, I didn't think about it. It just came and conquered my conscious mind with the image of adultery, whether I closed my eyes to try to sleep or stayed awake. It just came and didn't want to go. It's horrible. The emotion is unbearable, isn't it? Yeah, I know how it feels. I have dealt with it for a long period. 

Surely, as an adult, I understand it's your duty and you have your needs to be fulfilled too. It's a part of marriage. It gives us calmness and pleasure at the same time. We crave the touch, the gestures, the kisses, the playful bites, and all the other expressions of intimacy. Sharing intimate moments with loved ones is a fundamental human pleasure that enhances happiness and strengthens bonds.

I used to touch my wife very softly and gently, offering her sweet touches and kisses. Being far away for work, I always wanted to rejuvenate when I returned home. One way, of course, was through intimacy. When we are apart again, we tend to remember those moments - our laughter, the hushed breaths, the joy, and the excitement. I don't want all of that to fade away. No, never.

Tenang

"Tenang tu apa?"

"Tenang tu abang. Tak tenang pun abang"

Panggilan telefon

(tt)

A wish

"How do you think it would feel if we fasted together in the same house?"

"Blessed"

14032024

Pekerja

"Sekarang baru 11.45. Kejab lagi abang balik"

"Kenapa tak rehat? Abang dah janji, kan?"

"Bila janji? Abang cakap okey je"

"Okey is janji"

"Sejak bila okey maksud janji?"

"New word in my dictionary"

"Eh jangan nak mengada"

"Mmm marahhh"

"Abang pergi kondo tengok semua okey ke tak. Pekerja baru sampai"

"Secy buat apa je?"

"Abang nak make sure semua okey. Ara tahu tak pekerja Tamil dekat tempat kita selalu kena dera? Kena simbah air panas, bakar hidup-hidup tapi dia sempat lari hari tu. Kena kurung berbulan-bulan tangan kaki kena rantai. Dapat gaji 800 kena potong separuh duit makan. Makan pun nasi dengan kuah. Jangan mimpi ada lauk. Letak pulak dalam rumah sampai 30 orang. Kerja 12 jam lebih tak ada cuti, tak ada OT. Ada tu kena pukul tiap hari. Kena liwat jangan cakap la"

"Mmm pernah dengar"

"Abang datang check. Pesan kalau kena buli ke pukul ke buat report dekat office tak pun secy supaya abang tahu. Kebajikan dia orang tanggungjawab abang. Siang tadi dah hantar pergi barber kasi potong rambut, jambang bagi kemas. Beli dah body wash, pisau cukur, pencuci muka, body spray, Colgate. Beli jugak tadi seluar dengan kasut pakai kerja. Ajar guna toilet dengan barang rumah"

"Minggu orientasi hihi"

"Yelah bukan semua ada toilet dekat rumah sana. Bagitahu perempuan tak boleh bawa masuk"

"Manja la pekerja abang, duduk kondo. Kenapa tak kontenakan?"

"Abang tak pernah letak pekerja dalam kontena. Musim panas sekarang. Nak tidur macam mana. Siang dah berpanas, malam berpanas. Letak aircond pun panas. Rosak badan"

"Acam majikan bertanggungjawab hihi"

"Memang ada yang tak bersyukur tapi dah tanggungjawab kita. Tak larat nak menjawab dekat akhirat pulak. Makan sehari 3 kali"

"Abang tanggung?"

"Company. Pagi capati, tengah hari nasi, petang roti. Malam masak sendiri. Cadang nak tukar pagi, nasi. Tak penat sangat, kan? Lepas tu nak beli vitamin ke supplement bagi"

"Semua pekerja dapat layanan acam ni ke?"

"Ha. Semua tempat sama"

"Paling muda umur berapa, bang?"

"18. Paling tua 72"

"Boleh kerja ke, bang?"

"Boleh. Dia nak cari duit. Anak nak kawin. Anak dia doktor. Mapley mintak satu BM mari"

"Hamboi!"

"Dowri baik punya. Kesian pun ada"

"Mmm mmm tapaya pakcik. Kawin aje dengan laki lain. Laki banyak pakcik. Da kawin minta macam-macam acam mana? Ehhh please la kita kawin nak tanggung dia. Kalau acam Amitabh Bachchan tapala. Ini busuk acam belacan acam mana?"

"Mengata orang bukan main kan. Puasa ke tak ni?"

Panggilan telefon

Manila, Filipina

13-03-2024

Personal space

Ara and I share a small bedroom that doubles as our workspace or a retreat for alone time. The room is cozy and includes a single bed, a bookshelf, a record player, a mini fridge, a small pantry, and a bathroom and toilet shared with others. It's a fully equipped space. Occasionally, I spend 3-4 days in this room, fully immersed in my work until completion. Ara utilizes her workspace for tasks such as writing academic journals, proofreading, researching cases, attending meetings, and more. 

We didn't face any issues. We understood that even in the context of marriage, the need for personal space is essential for individual growth and well-being, and this was something we both valued and respected. During moments of restlessness, our shared small space became a refuge, a sanctuary where we could retreat to recharge, reflect, and work on ourselves, striving to become better individuals not just for ourselves but for the benefit of those in our lives. 

(25-02-2024)

Tak ada mood

"Busy?"

"Satu lagi fail. Sistem down"

"……"

"Duduk sini"

"Tak nak kacau abang"

*tarik tangan* "Duduk"

"……"

"Kenapa masam?"

"Tak ada mood"

"Mood dah terbang?"

"Ha'a"

"Mana mood pergi?"

*tangkap jari*

"Garang"

"Kita tak ada mood. Jangan kacau"

"………"

"Tak nak"

"Nak apa?"

"Semua tak nak"

"Okey"

"I miss you…"

"……"

"Tak nak"

"Hujan lebat-lebat…si kambing biri-biri"

"Abang sebut kambing, kita sembelih semua, semua tau anak itik abang"

"Main hujan nak?"

"Tak nak"

"Jom, jom. Bangun"

"Tak nak"

"Abang dukung kang"

"Jangan"

"Okey, okey"

Dah lupa?

"Masalahnya, bang, dia bini orang. Bos dia laki orang. Anak 5"

"Dah confirm?"

"Laki dia jumpa bukti. Perang besar-besaran"

"Cerai ke?"

"Laki tak nak lepas"

"Bini bos dah tahu?

"Dah. Kenapa eh kacau laki orang? Tak kesian ke anak bini orang tu?"

"Bini dia sanggup madu?"

"Mesti la tak. Kalau Ara pun tak nak"

"Kenapa?"

"Abang expect perempuan boleh terima?"

"Tak la. Tanya je"

"Abang buat macam tu, Ara benci abang sebenci-bencinya"

"Macam benci Haff?"

"Lebih"

"Kenapa nak benci?"

"Apa abang rasa bila orang khianat abang…dulu? Dah lupa?"

"Tak"

"Astu?"

"Tanya je. Jangan la marah"

"One thing I have learned about people, if they do it once, they will do it again. Abang jugak cakap macam tu. Dah lupa?  Takkan orang nak curang satu? Kalau boleh dua, tiga, empat"

"Amboi banyak"

"Tapi abang good boy. You wouldn't do that to me, right? I can't believe you'd cheat on me. Don't mess up my life like my ex did, abang. I don't know how to live without your love. Ara dah korbankan segalanya untuk abang. Ara tak minta lebih, jangan curang. Sakit abang…sakit sangat…"

I love you

"In this part of the story I am the one who dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you, because I love you, Love, in fire and in blood.”

— Pablo Neruda

Segala rasa

"Abang…tak masuk bilik? Kenapa tidur sini?"

"Terlelap. Lupa belum witir"

"You okay, sayang?"

"Okey"

"Rindu mmm?"

"Rindu siapa?"

"Selalu faham"

"Rindu memang kena orang lain?"

"Abang nampak moody sejak sampai. Kenapa?"

"Kita ada hidup yang baik sebab Ara ada dengan abang. Abang tak boleh fikir kalau Ara tak ada dalam hidup abang"

"You have proven me wrong: not all men are the same"

"Hmm……"

"Can you carry me to our bedroom? Dah lama tau abang tak dukung Ara"

"Sure"

_

"Abang nak keluar jogging"

"Now?"

"Haah"

"……"

"Abang stres. Keluar kejab je"

"Okey"

"Tidur dulu. Tak payah tunggu abang"

_

"Ara…tak tidur lagi?"

"Tunggu abang"

"Kejab abang mandi"

"Abang…"

"Hmm?"

*peluk*

"Peluh"

"It's okay"

_

"Sayang, towel"

"Dah ada"

"Towel"

"Kejab"

_

"Dah mandi nak mandi lagi"

"Siapa suruh abang tinggal "tuala". Salah abang"

"Ara dah mandi. Tak nak la ajak"

"Tapi selalu abang panggil. Abang dah tak sayang Ara…"

"Sayang…takkan tak sayang"

(tt)

Pain

“Pain is a part of life. Sometimes it's a big part, and sometimes it isn't, but either way, it's part of the big puzzle, the deep music, the great game. Pain does two things: It teaches you, tells you that you're alive. Then it passes away and leaves you changed. It leaves you wiser, sometimes. Sometimes it leaves you stronger. Either way, pain leaves its mark, and everything important that will ever happen to you in life is going to involve it in one degree or another.”

― Jim Butcher, White Night

Jangan kacau

"Darling, I busy tau. Jangan kacau"

"Abang yang kacau Ara?"

"Bila masa kita kacau abang? Please sikit"

"Pukul 9 tu apa?"

"Tak tahu hihi"

"Mengada je"

"See you, baby"

"Okey"

"Eee tak romantik langsung"

Susu anak

"Kakak angkat kita membebel panjang pasal effort. Dia cakap tak di hargai, dia stop each time"

"Hal apa pulak tu?"

"Husband dia buat susu anak berkira. Anak nak ramai"

"Sebelum kawin effort bukan main"

"Ha'a. Serba-serbi effort. Dah kawin mmm malas cerita"

"Lanyak bini rajin. Susu anak malas buat. Rumah malas kemas, baju malas basuh. Semua bini buat. Dia buat apa? Main telor?"

"Hihi abang ni kan. Mana kita tahu"

Good luck, Kakak

My dearest daughter,

As time flies by, I am filled with pride for your achievements as you near adulthood. Together, we have faced challenges and cherished every moment. Today is a momentous day for you as you strive for success in your examinations and aim to secure a place at The Albert Einstein Medical School. (I'm curious, what influenced your choice over Stanford Medical School?) May all your aspirations come to fruition.

Always remember, "The early bird catches the worm." Stay dedicated and focused on your dreams.

With all my love and support,

Daddy

[April 25, 2024]

Help me, Ya Rabb

I don't want to touch my wife solely out of responsibility for her needs (nafakah). I desire to touch her because of my own longing and urge, free from the weight of husbandly obligations. I feel guilty about this. Last month, I only touched her once. This month, since my return, I still haven't been able to be intimate with her.

Ya Rabb, help me.

I chose to be a cheater

"Abg tgh dgn syg kan skrg? I am the other woman kan?"

(Jan 10, 2024)

_

No matter how many times I deny it, it is true that I have a "relationship" with other women behind my wife's back. We didn't declare anything, never spoke about it either, but it is still an affair. To make matters worse, she is someone else's wife. Yeah, it's too bad. I used to be a very loyal man, but this time I broke my own rules. Everybody breaks their principles for someone.

She was the one who ended our relationship nearly ten years ago for another man. Sometimes I wonder, am I foolish for still treating her with kindness despite the numerous times she shattered my heart? I don't know why she still wants me when she has a man who consistently goes above and beyond to bring her happiness. I haven't made any sweet gestures for her. .

How do I feel about having an affair? I feel bad. I feel guilty towards my wife. Every time I look at her, I feel sad. I always remember how painful those years were when someone I loved stabbed me in the back, and now I am making the same mistake. My wife carries the scars of past betrayals, when her fiancé had another woman behind her back and now I am doing the same.

"Cheating" is a painful word. I never expected that I would have this kind of relationship in my life. I want to be faithful to my wife, but the heart wants what it wants. People say that having an affair is a choice, and I made that choice. I hope that my wife doesn't know about this. I don't want her to be hurt. I love her and my family, but still I chose to be a cheater, an unfaithful husband…

Warren Buffett

"Kembar, net worth Warren Buffett $84.5 billion. Cara nak dapat banyak duit bukan kita kerja cari duit, tapi duit kerja untuk kita. *Money makes money. And the money that money makes, makes money. Jom kita main kira-kira. Semalam kita main eksperimen sains gunung berapi"

"Da da da"

"Da da da"

"Da da da"

"Da da da"

"Okey, semua pun pandai.

*Benjamin Franklin

Tanggungjawab isteri

"Rumah kotor pun pandang saya macam saya goyang kaki tak buat kerja, rumah bersih pun kena bebel, takde kerja cari kerja, saja buat kerja lebih..."

_

Tugas isteri ada dua sahaja dalam Islam. Pertama, melayan suami. Kedua, melahirkan zuriat. Segala kerja rumah di bawah tanggungjawab suami.

Cemburu

"*Wama Indallahi Khair. Kalau jealous baca ni"

"Apasal kita eh"

"Dah asyik mengekor mana abang pergi"

"Abang jealous kan apa?"

"Tak ada jealous apa"

"Astu buat apa baca?"

"Ish dia ni la"

*(Al-Qasas 28:60)

I miss you

I miss her more than ever. This feeling hits me hard. I can't get her out of my mind. I can't focus on what's in front of my eyes when all I can think about is her.

How should I deal with this feeling?

Kemahuan isteri

"Soalan Ara tu, kadang- kadang memang abang stres dengan Ara tapi bukan sepenuhnya salah Ara. Abang pun ada salah. Manusia Ara, tak sempurna tapi abang cuba untuk lebih memahami. Mungkin ada yang abang terlepas pandang. Abang minta maaf kalau abang tak capai apa yang Ara nak"

"Ara mengada-ngada kan, abang?"

"Memang isteri di cipta untuk mengada-ngada dengan suami. Tapi tu la, kadang-kadang suami ni dia malas layan"

"Kita nak perhatian je. Nak banyak sangat"

"Tak cukup-cukup, kan?"

"Ha'a"

25-04-2024

Tanda bahagia

"Am I your happiness?"

"Yes, you are"

"Do I make you happy?"

"Yes, you do"

"Am I a good wife?"

"Kenapa soalan pelik-pelik malam ni?"

"Saja tanya…abang ada banyak pilihan tapi abang pilih Ara"

"Bukan Ara pilih abang? Ara pun ada banyak pilihan apa"

"Kenapa eh Ara pilih abang?"

"Kan…lepas tu hidup susah-susah dekat sini. Hidup tak bebas macam dalam penjara"

"Abang…jangan la cakap macam tu"

"Ara, kegembiraan tu apa?"

"Hati yang bahagia"

"Macam mana nak tahu hati kita bahagia?"

"Bila kita berasa tenang. Abang cakap"

"Sekarang tenang tak?"

"Mmm debar hihi"

25-04-2024

Our little conversation

"Orang datang dalam hidup kita sekejab je, Ara. Kadang kita hadir untuk mengingatkan hal-hal yang dia fikir tak wujud. Kadang manusia tahu salah, tapi tak ada yang menegur. Bila kita tegur berlaku perubahan ke arah positif. Mungkin kita tegur orang. Mungkin orang tegur kita"

"………"

"Ada orang dia rapat dengan kita tapi dia tak kenal kita. Kadang kita cuma meluah tapi orang anggap kita macam-macam. Kalau betul pun, dengar je la apa salahnya. Tapi manusia jarang ada kemahiran mendengar. A listener needs a listener too. Kita meluah bukan nak respons. Kadang cuma penat. Nak lepas apa terbuku dalam hati tapi orang cepat jadi hakim. Kita rasa lagi down. We can't open up to other people because they are quick to judge. It's better to keep silent"

"I feel you. Teruk kan perangai macam tu"

"Manusia kena belajar cara menanggapi manusia lain"

"Why are people quick to judge?"

"Human beings have different levels of maturity. Pemahaman manusia selalunya berbeza"

"………"

"Bila kita nak buat satu tindakan, kita kena faham tindakan yang kita buat tu pihak satu lagi faham tak apa yang kita buat"

"Maksud abang?"

"Contoh, macam bini Pet bagitahu tarikh dia kawin. Untuk apa dia bagitahu? Nak Pet cemburu atau nak suruh Pet pujuk? Mesej tak sampai. Abang akan anggap ex dia nak buat Pet cemburu. Tak terfikir benda lain. Macam nak show off dah mulakan hidup baru"

"Clearly tak ada mesej lain"

"Tingkahlaku manusia dari zaman purba sampai sekarang tak berubah. Macam orang kata 'A person who leaves in anger will always come back, but the one who leaves with a smile will never return'. Macam tu lah manusia. Sekian, habis"

"Our little conversation can make me feel much better"

"Kenapa? Ara tak okey"

"Ha'a"

"Sebab apa tak okey?"

"Sebab mmm mmm nak bisik boleh tak?"

"Boleh cakap nak bisik"

"Tak nak cakap"

"Dah merajuk. Cepat bisik"

"………"

"Eh? Laaaa"

"Abang diam ehhh. Jangan ketawa"

"Hehehe"

"Jangan laaa"

"Haa. Yee, takkkk hehe"

"Abangggg"

25-05-2024

Spesis complicated

Daddy: Bunga untuk Ibu. Nanti bila Umar, Adam dah kawin, selalu beli bunga bagi isteri

Umar: Kenapa perempuan suka bunga?

Daddy: Daddy pun tak pasti. Ibu suka, daddy beli. Kita sebagai suami kena selalu gembirakan hati isteri supaya rezeki kita bertambah. Isteri gembira, rumah tangga bahagia. Bila dah kawin nanti muliakan isteri. Kalau isteri bagi nasihat, dengar. Isteri yang paling kenal kita. Dia tahu baik buruk kita. Kita pun kena terima kelebihan dan kekurangan dia

Adam: Faham, daddy

Daddy: Umar?

Umar: Tapi perempuan spesis complicated, daddy

Huda: Hello! Which species are you talking about?"

Daddy: Dah jangan gaduh

24-04-2024

Satu gelas, dua bekas bibir

*tarik kerusi* "Duduk, duduk. Abang sendukkan nasi"

"Tak payah la, bang"

"Bukan selalu. Puasa berapa hari je masak"

"Ara tak kisah pun"

"Okey tak ikan tu?"

"Sedap. Tak garing sangat"

"Tapi kan…kalau abang suap lagi sedap kot"

*senyum*

"Satu gelas, dua bekas bibir. Malam nanti kita pergi pantai"

Gelang kaki

"Suka la tengok Ara pakai gelang kaki. Comel je. Abang memang suka tengok perempuan pakai cincin ke, gelang ke, rantai ke lepas tu Tuhan pun bagi isteri suka pakai benda macam tu"

"Maceh tau"

"Kembar pun dengar je bunyi, semua cabut lari. Dah tahu Ibu datang nak tangkap suruh tidur haha"

"Itu memang buat kita geram"

WhatsApp offline mode

The Meta-owned messaging app WhatsApp is developing a new feature to facilitate file sharing even without an internet connection. According to recent leaks, users will soon be able to share photos, videos, music, and documents offline.

Being Guru

Chinese spy

Germany arrests Chinese spy.

Reuters

Cari salah

"Ha betul la kan?"

"Takkk. Semua salah laki"

"Perempuan banyak toksik apa. Laki banyak je yang baik"

"Takkk. Laki suka buat perangai"

"Perempuan lagi la suka buat perangai"

"Astu salah perempuan?"

"Video ni cakap. Bukan abang. Haaa"

Kulek pise

"Ikan bakar, air asam, jantung pisang, pajeri nenas, kari kepala ikan. Air tak buat lagi. Ara nak air apa?"

"Singo beng"

"Orite. Buah?"

"Pise"

"Okey"

"Kulek pise jange dok tohok kokse"

"Bila masa eh. Elok je abang buang"

"Hebak demo"

"Abang faham la. Sikit hari lagi bahasa Siam pun boleh cakap"

"Kecek etek nok denga"

Teri Baaton Mein Aisa Uljha Jiya

50/50

"Ingat tak Ara pernah tanya soalan lepas tu abang jawab tapi Ara 50/50. Orang ni cakap sama macam abang. Part akhir tu. Dengar cepat"

"Main paksa. Tak aci tau"

"Dah abang cakap Ara tak percaya. Kan abang cakap, sekali tinggal akan tinggal lagi"

It's Time to Play

"Ini kerja abang ehhh"

"Hehe"

"Tak puas-puas tengok perempuan"

"Hee tengok dia menari je"

"Eeeee!"

"Aduhhh! Sakit Ara. Jangan cubit"

"Geram je"

Beautiful advice

Let it go 

Rindu

"Susu"

"Thanks, abang"

"Betul tak nak pergi pantai?"

"Tak nak"

*picit kaki*

"Mmm…"

"Ada mesin urut tak nak guna"

"Mesin tak best"

"Baring elok-elok. Abang urut satu badan"

_

"Abang…ngantuk…"

"Jom tidur"

"Okey…"

_

"Morning, sayang""

"Lena tidur?"

"Ha'a. Masak apa tu?"

"Nasi lemak sambal sotong"

"Sedapnya"

*rangkul pinggang"

"Dada sakit?"

"Tak"

*sandar*

"Mood okey?"

"Rindu abang je…"

24-04-2024

Shhh…

"Abang tak tidur?"

"Sakit dada…"

"Wanna go to the hospital?"

"No"

"You hiding something from me?"

"No"

"You sure?"

"Yup..."

"You look rough. Let's get some check-ups"

"Tak nak"

"Degil macam kembar"

"Letak kejab tangan dekat dada abang Cuba rasa"

"Jangan eh. Dah Subuh"

"Garangnya. Suruh letak kejab je. Bukan suruh letak dalam kain"

"Sempat je kan"

"Letak la kejab…"

"Abanggggg! Dah agak dah"

"Apa?"

"Abang…"

"Shhh…peluk kejab je. Sakit sangat ni"

"Tapi sakit…tapi tarik kita…tapi…"

"Shhh…"

23-04-2024

Jahat

"Bulan 6 kita ada majlis. Ara kena ikut"

"Dekat mana?"

"Mumbai"

"Abang pakai monkey suit. Ara pilih nak pakai apa"

"Wajib ikut?"

"Tak guna jadi handsome kalau jalan tanpa pasangan"

"Tapi kan…"

"………"

"Abangggg! Abangggg! Tak nak laaa. Abanggg!"

"Nak ikut ke tak?"

"Ikuttt. Jahat la abang ni"

"Hahaha"

22-04-2024

Takut tergoda

"Sini"

"Kejab"

"Sekarang"

"Sekejab"

"Sekarang"

"What's up, Tiger?"

"Kaki letak sini"

"Buat apa?"

"Letak je"

"………"

"Abang beli dekat airport"

"Now the airport is your favorite place to shop, mmm?"

"Haah. Senang, semua ada"

"Serius la, bang? Macam kucing aje"

"Okey apa. Ara jalan abang tahu Ara dekat mana"

"Thank you"

"………"

"Abang…jangan la, geli tau"

"Kaki yang penat ke sana sini uruskan macam-macam. Terima kasih…"

"But you don't need to kiss my... "

"Why can't I? Melainkan Ara takut tergoda"

"Abang nampak kurus"

"Tak ada makansn dekat sana. Tak jumpa nasi. Makan roti je"

"Lebam dekat mana?"

"Check sendiri, boleh?"

"Seductive technique, mmm?"

"Maybe"

"You smell so... it stirs my heart"

"New seductive night perfume"

"I miss you, boo"

22-04-2024

Anak itik

"Itu la abang silap. Tak teringat langsung. Kalau tak, first flight 1 jam, direct Toronto 11 jam. Balik CR 5 jam. Ini mula flight 1 jam lepas tu 5 jam. Kemudian 2 jam pergi Zurich. Balik CR 12 jam. Masak. Next time la"

"Astu kata last?"

"Cakap je. Tak tahu lagi haha"

"Mmm…haish rasa nak panggang anak itik"

"Eh kesian dia"

Panggilan telefon

Zurich International Airport

22-04-2024

Thank you

Hara dearest,

I wish I could write everything I feel, but sometimes words feel hard to express. As the days pass, I realize one thing. I realize that since I met you, I no longer need to pretend to be okay when I'm not okay. You care even for the smallest things, like when I bite a chili. You will rush to get sugar for me because you fear I will get a stomachache. Your attention feels so warm. I feel loved.

I want to express my gratitude for your kindness and the way you have treated me so well. I will always remember you as the one who illuminated my path during my darkest times. I wouldn't be who I am today without you. You are the driving force behind my current success and personal development. Your thoughts, advice, and reminders have all enriched my soul. 

The life we lead now is a result of your influence. You are the crucial factor in my achievements. 

Yours forever,

Abang

Zurich - San Jose

April 22, 2024

Gelabah

"Abang dah sampai Zurich. Jom jalan sini nak?"

"Bila, bang?"

"Bila-bila Ara nak pergi"

"Tak apalahhh. Kita nak duduk rumah aje"

"Tak rindu keeee?"

"Rindu apa tu?"

"Tempat jatuh lagi di kenang. Ini pula tempat buat anak hahaha"

"Happy aje ri ni"

"Ye la. Nak balik. Nak makan nasi kenduri. Ayam masak merah. Tak nak daging"

"Ye bang"

"Habis nasi kenduri nak kenduri lain hehe"

"Tak boleh"

"Ha? Cuti-cuti Malaysia ke?"

"Heee gelabah hihihi"

"Nak frust dah tadi hahaha"

Panggilan telefon

Zurich International Airport

22-04-2024

Pantai

"Ara tidur bilik mana?"

"Bilik kita"

"Vacuum dah simpan? Hari tu nasib tak jatuh"

"Sorry laaa"

"Tiket dah beli?"

"Dahhhh"

"Good. Balik lapar masak sedap"

"Kita dah cukup sedap hihi"

"Awal hantar undangan"

"Hihi nak pergi pantai tau"

"Haaaa"

"Takkk eh. Pergi pantai je. Abang jangan macam-macam"

"Bukan nampak pun. Tinted"

"Tak nak la, tak nak"

Panggilan telefon

21 April 2024

Utopia

"A good book, a heavy downpour, and a cup of coffee would be an ideal world. It is enough, isn't it? For the two of us."

Bintang timur

"Kerana apabila saya bertemu dengan engkau, maka matamu yang sebagai bintang timur itu sentiasa menghilangkan susun kataku."  — Hamka

Semput

"Ejaan dia Pi je. Phone auto correct jadi pie. Abang kan sweet pie. Ara apa tahu"

"Astu nombor tu tak ada?"

"Kalau Ara nak digitkan jugak, jadi, kejab abang Google"

"Cepatttt"

"3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197. Aduh habis nafas"

"Hihi orang tua cemput"

"Eyy singa, cari gaduh ke?"

"Rimau cemput hikhikhik"

Panggilan telefon

21 April 2024

Filem falsafah

1. Slacker
2. Waking Life
3. The Man from Earth
4. Before Sunrise
5. Before Sunset
6. Before Midnight
7. The Sunrise Limited

Pemberat

"Memang biasa latihan lari dengan backpack 30kg. Berenang 5km. Kalau tak, mana nak fit"

"Kita offer diri jadi backpack abang hihi"

"Tak cukup jadi pemberat malam-malam hahaha"

"Ha'a tak cukup"

"Apa yang cukup?"

"Mmm tak tahu hihi"

Panggilan telefon

19-04-2024

Rinduku buatmu

"Abang rindu saya banyak mana?"

(20 April 2024)

_

Aku merindukanmu,

seperti banyaknya hujan

yang gugur dari awan,

seperti pepohon

yang bertukar warna

saat musim berganti.

Rinduku padamu,

tingginya tidak seperti langit

besarnya tidak seperti bumi

luasnya tidak seperti lautan

Ia tidak terlukis dengan perkataan.

Our time together

It is currently 3:53 am in Malaysia, nearing midnight in my time zone. Despite feeling extremely sleepy after taking medication, I have been unable to fall asleep. Today seems to be passing very slowly. I waited all day, but only had the opportunity to speak with her for less than an hour.

Feeling frustrated? Yes, but work needs to be done. Time is running out. It was already short, and now it feels like I have no chance at all. Maybe one day I won't be able to hear her voice. I don't want her to have any problems, so I suggest that she doesn't text me when she's at home.

Inside your mind

Photo: Unknown

The Book of Destiny

Chapter: Belief In The Divine Decree And Submission To It

Abu Huraira reported Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) as saying: "A strong believer is better and is more lovable to Allah than a weak believer, and there is good in everyone, (but) cherish that which gives you benefit (in the Hereafter) and seek help from Allah and do not lose heart, and if anything (in the form of trouble) comes to you, don't say: If I had not done that, it would not have happened so and so, but say: Allah did that what He had ordained to do and your" if" opens the (gate) for the Satan."

Reference: 

Sahih Muslim 2664

In-book reference: 

Book 46, Hadith 52

Jiwamu dan jiwaku

"Walaupun kamu pergi, jiwamu akan selalu dekat dengan jiwaku."

Hamka dalam Tenggelamnya Kapal Van Der Wijck

(Catatan 9 Oktober 2020)

Kejadian cinta

Mengertilah

kejadian cinta adalah perihal menjaga

bukan keinginan kuat untuk memilikinya.

— Zean Kasturi

(Catatan 20 Oktober 2020)

Why do you want me?

"Saya tau saya merayu abang jangan pergi...saya tamak...tapi abang....why do you want me around you, still?"

(April 19, 2024)

_

"Take me back to where I was before I met you."

— Mahmoud Darwish

Do not hurt yourself

"Tak berapa boleh pegang fon lama lama sekarang... nanti laki rampas fon...Boleh sekejap sekejap je. Malam pun fon kena tarik sekarang. Rimas rasa kena macam tu"

(April 20, 2024)

_

We haven't really texted each other in a few days. She's busy with housework and work, and I'm busy with mine. Please do not hurt yourself, sayang. Don't crash into a tree or stabbing yourself in the nerves. I'm still here. I won't be anywhere. 

He may think that his wife met a man at her workplace (just like how his love story begins). He tries to find evidence but hasn't yet. The worst that may happen is that he forbids her from working any longer, which would be the last of her.

I swear

"I part from her against my will and leave, I swear, my soul with her."

(Ahmad Faris al-Shidyaq)

Life Equation

You won't get everything at the same time.

Sometimes your love life is perfect but work isn't so good.

At times you'll have good friends but your love life isn't okay.

Sometimes you'll have good relationships and work is stable but your health is not fine.

Life doesn't give you everything.

It gives you something and takes another. That's the equation.

(Unknown)

Tentu

"Hari ni basuh baju, kemas-kemas. Rindu kembar"

"Kembar je?"

"Alaa mak dia memang selalu rindu"

"Rindu banyak mana?"

"Dari sekecil-kecil nombor pi sampai yang paling besar"

"Berapa paling besar?"

"Seberapa besar yang Ara kehendaki"

"Seluruh cinta abang"

"Tentu…"

Panggilan telefon

20-04-2024

Can I?

"Can I just stop looking out for you and let you handle things on your own if stuff goes down? Can I stop thinking about you and let the worries flow to the river? Can I disappear from your life and leave the burden of remembering you to the sea?"

Hubby

"Abang kemas beg"

"Hubby nak pergi mana?"

"Jangan panggil macam tu"

"Abang stop pukul orang first"

"Geli la Ara"

"Romantik je. Urban gitu"

"Tak nak la"

"Kisah pulak kita"

_

"B"

"……"

"Baby"

"……"

"Hubby"

"……"

"Tiger"

"Ha"

"Eee mengadanya"

_

"Tak romantik tau abang ni"

"Romantik bukan boleh beli bawang"

"Apasal bawang? Apasal bukan timun ke, sawi ke, daun ketumbar ke"

"Rindu expo eh"

"Takkkk"

_

"Tum se"

"Apa?"

"Jangan pukul orang tau"

"Kenapa?"

"Jangan la"

"Ye la sebab apa?"

"Kita tak suka"

"Kisah pulak abang"

"Eee pentiruuuu"

-

"Ara jangan macam-macam. Abang jadi hunter kang haa"

"Elelele acam kita takut"

"Ini king cobra. Nak kena patuk ke?"

"Nakkkk"

"Laa suka pulak dia"

Panggilan telefon

18-04-2024

Cinta yang sebenar

"Khamis, B"

"Eh ye ke?"

"Yeeeeee"

"Semua busy kenduri. Patut la…"

"Apa, bang?"

"Patut la senyap je"

"Hubby ooo hubby"

"Abang kerja. Kena letak"

"Tapaya kerja la. Kita kan ada. Kerjakan kita je hihihi"

"Sebab tu bini kena duduk jauh-jauh. Sebab ni la"

"Sebab apa, bang?"

"Suara pun"

"Jangan pukul orang tau, hubbyyy"

"Ara jangan panggil abang dah lepas ni. Abang cari bini lain"

"Sukati kita la nak panggil apa"

"Ara yang aku sayangi"

"Fine lah"

"Seluruh alam mengagumi cintamu padaku…"

"Bang…banggg…abangggg"

"Mana boleh panggil abang haa"

"Tapi kita sayang abang…"

"Sayang Ara dunia akhirat. Ni last kot. Abang tak datang dah sini"

"Kenapa?"

"Entahlah…banyak benda fikir…"

"Ara bangga abang pergi sana even hati risau selalu tak tenteram tapi kalau abang tak pentingkan diri, Ara belajar tak penting diri. Abang pernah cakap, cinta yang sebenar lebih besar dari cinta dua individu"

Panggilan telefon

19-04-2024

Let Her Go

Kesukaan Ara

"Ara…abang dah balik…"

"Mesti bergaduh, kan?"

"Haah"

"Luka?"

"Sikit je"

"Lebam?"

"Ada"

"Balik la, sayang"

"Masa datang abang okey"

"Leave that place, abang. Your mental health isn't good"

"Abang nak mandi"

"Abang marah-marah takkan selesai masalah…"

"Mana ada masalah…"

"You are always responsible for how you act, no matter how you feel. Clear your mind. Relax. Stop thinking. Whatever crossed your mind, let it pass. She had a good life; you deserve a good life too"

"Abang tengah survey tiket orkestra"

"Rindunyaaa"

"Sebelum abang keluar kerja, kita pergi. Tadi check piano ada hujung bulan 5. Jazz bulan 9. Sekarang ada cello. Ara tengokkan yang mana best. Kalau ada ballet sambar sekali"

"Boleh, boleh hihi"

"Happy dia"

"Maceh tau"

Panggilan telefon

18-04-2024

Sakit

"Abang tak okey. Abang tak nak susahkan Ara. Ara teman diam-diam je"

"Tak nak diam. Nak abang cakap"

"Sakitnya Ara…terasa dekat hati……terasa tu…terasa fizikal"

"Sabar abang…"

"Boleh tak tukar hati abang dengan hati yang baru? Padam memori abang supaya abang jadi orang baru? Boleh tak?"

"Regardless of what happens or how tough it seems today, life goes on, and tomorrow will be better"

"………"

"Abang…"

"Hmm…"

"Ada wuduk?"

"Ada"

"Tak nak mengaji? Tenangkan hati"

"Okey…"

Panggilan telefon

17-04-2024

Tak janji

"Ara…abang sakit hati lagi…"

"Kenapa tu? Tadi elok je ketawa"

"Biasalah abang…"

"Jangan nangis, sayang"

"Tak…abang dah tengok flight. 22/23 abang balik. Ara…hmm rujuk je la abang dekat psikiatri. Abang tak boleh sembuh dah kan. Sorry…abang banyak susahkan Ara…"

"Ara tak nak abang masuk sana. No, abang. Ara tak suka"

"Abang dah letih…tak tahu nak buat macam mana…sorry, Ara. Dah tak raya sama…mood entah apa…hmmm"

"I'm never tired of you"

"Kenapa abang lemah sangat? Lembik kan…"

"Jangan keluar pukul orang"

"Okey"

"Janji?"

"Tak"

"Tengok tu"

"Tak boleh janji"

"Jangan pukul orang, please abang?"

Panggilan telefon

17-04-2024

Steam Deck

"Stim apa Ara? Tak dengar. Stim tek?"

"Steam Deck. Abang ni kan"

"Hahaha mana tahu. Pertama kali dengar. Benda apa tu?"

"Game"

"Buat apa beli?"

"Main la. Boleh bawa travel"

"Ingat abang budak-budak ke belikan game. Tak nak la"

"Apasal tak nak?"

"Ara nak normal kan abang ke apa? Abang tak main game. Beli permainan orang dewasa"

"Abang nak apa?"

"Anak kambing 12 ekor boleh? Comel bila pakai pajamas. Abang nak buat kandang belakang tu. Boleh eh? Lembu pendek sepasang haa. Ngam!"

"No, no, no"

"Apa no?"

"Husband lain kalau wife beli game melompat dia. Ish! geram aje la"

"Kawin la dengan husband lain haaaa. Ada ke beli game dekat kita. Dari main game baik main Ara hahahaha"

"Abangggg!"

"Angkat satu DS"

"DS apa, bang?"

"DS X E-TENSE"

"Kereta aje. Beli la helicopter pulak. Kereta jammed, bang"

"Okey, beli coli tak jammed hahahaha"

"Abanggg!"

Panggilan telefon

17-04-2024

Sumerian Mythology

Sumerian Mythology

Min

Min,

Tak ada maklumat baru yang aku dapat. Aku sedang baca perdebatan berkaitan Nabi Adam, Homo Sapiens dan Homo Neanderthal. Aku teringat bandar Çatalhöyük di Turki. Semasa aku cuti panjang 2022, aku bawa keluarga melawat tempat ini. Anak-anak sangat teruja. Kali terakhir aku bawa mereka melawat tapak / bangunan sejarah semasa di Paris dahulu. Ya, peristiwa Umar di tumpang hantu ketika melawat kubu.

Kita tak pernah pergi muzium bersams, kan? Seingat aku tak. Ara selalu cakap aku lelaki yang pelik - mungkin sebab aku selalu bawa dia ke muzium. Bagi aku, muzium suatu tempat yang menarik selain pameran seni dan budaya. Kadang aku bawa dia menonton tarian tradisional dan muzik gamelan. Dia ikut saja. Menonton wayang tak pernah. Wayang kulit dan teater ada. Dia selalu pandang aku dengan pelik - "Seriously abang?"

Aku selalu bawa Ara ke expo MTDC, FAMA, MARDI dan RISDA. Malaysia mengeluarkan banyak barangan berkualiti namun sayangnya masyarakat tidak menyokong hasil anak bumi. Ramai yang memandang rrendah, tidak kurang yang memperlekeh. Barangan ini kebanyakannya di hasilkan melalui pembiayaan penyelidikan yang tinggi. Hasil akhirnya sudah tentu terjamin dengan pelbagai piawaian ketat yang perlu di patuhi.

Malaysia tidak mempunyai kepakaran menjual. Usahawan kita terutamanya IKS hanya tahu menghasilkan produk tetapi gagal mencari pasaran. Terlalu banyak blue ocean untuk kita terokai tetapi kita tidak merebut peluang kerana lebih selesa berada di pasaran red ocean yang sedia maklum persaingannya. Kegagalan memahami keperluan pemasaran menyebabkan produk kita gagal di pasaran terbuka.

Okey, aku nak sambung baca tentang Homo Neanderthalensis.

Bye Min.

Kasih lebaran

Salah perempuan

"Salah perempuan. Dia yang pilih. Perempuan kan banyak yang tak memilih. Tangkap muat je asal boleh. Rupa tak pandang, duit tak pandang. Kena pulak jenis tak berkira memang laki nak sangat. Selamat poket dia. Dah kawin terima je la"

"Astu perempuan salah?"

"Ye la. Laki memang tak reti malu. Siapa pun dia nak ngorat tambah kalau dapat perempuan tinggi lagi dari dia, memang jadi kebanggaan depan kawan-kawan. Barang baik, Lautan Pasifik pun sanggup redah. Labur dulu tuai hasil kemudian. Lepas tu kena ikut la cakap bini tapi ramai je tak ikut cakap, tahu nak sebat duit bini je. Tumpang senang"

"Tak baik la abang ni"

"Orang laki punya pandangan memang macam tu la"

"Ye faham"

"Abang bukan merendahkan tapi biar sekufu. Tak timbul masalah kemudian hari. Laki jenis macam ni dia tahu bini dia pandai, semua benda dia suruh bini dia buat. Dia lepas tangan. Bini jadi macam suami. Banyak kes macam ni. Bila gaduh, mula play victim konon dia rendah, bini tinggi. Bini tak dengar cakap, tunjuk lagak semua ada"

"Tu betul, bang. Kes gaduh mahkamah syariah selalu timbul"

"Pergi tackle perempuan tinggi lepas tu mula mengeluh susah nak bela"

"Bang, kita orang ni bukan anak ayam tau nak bela"

"Ha ye la, jaga. Salah sikit pun tak boleh"

"Peguam bang hihi"

Panggilan telefon

14-04-2024

Maruah lelaki

"Bukan abang je. Semua laki macam tu. I don't chase a girl. If she wants to leave, she is free to go"

"Ego"

"Ego ke macam tu? Tak la. Laki ni dia akan fikir kebahagiaan perempuan dulu. Kalau kebahagiaan dia dengan orang lain, takkan kita nak halang. Tapi ada jugak jenis bila tahu bini ada orang lain sengaja tak nak cerai sebab tak nak bini dia kawin dengan orang lain. Buat apa nak tanggung dosa. Biar je la dia pergi dah hati dia tak ada dengan kita. Buat apa nak seksa batin dia"

"Sama macam kes kita cerita ri tu kan?"

"Buat apa nak paksa hati orang. Dapat apa? Lepas tu gigit jari tengok bini sendiri. Orang lain menyedap. Dia nak pegang pun dah tak bagi. Ini kan nak buat benda lain. Tak payahlah. Buang masa je. Biar je la dia pergi. Tak guna pujuk dah hati tak nak. Semua berpandu pada hati. Kalau hati nak, tak payah cari dia datang sendiri. Tak payah buat apa pun"

"Setuju"

"Maruah terakhir lelaki bila dia cakap jangan pergi tapi kalau orang nak pergi…apa lagi yang dia boleh buat. Orang laki selalu hilang maruah sebab perempuan tapi perempuan jarang sedar. Orang buat macam mana pun dia terima, betul-betul macam orang tak ada maruah…tapi itulah lelaki. Dia tak nak bising-bising. Dia dah merayu…kalau nak pergi…takkan nak kejar lagi……tak ada maruah dah, Ara. Malu pun ada tapi itulah sifat lelaki. Perempuan buat apa pun, dia setia. Marah pun kejab je lepas tu sayang balik. Lelaki kalau ada ego dengan perempuan pelik je. Dah tahu perempuan ego tinggi nak lawan jugak"

"Sedih je dengar. Jangan la sedih. Kita pun sedih"

"Laa"

Panggilan telefon

16-04-2024

Cari benda tersembunyi

"Kita tengok je movie tu mesti teringat abang"

"Sebab?"

"Abang suka cium dahi kita"

"Balik nanti semua boleh cium hahaha"

"Eee gatal"

"Sehari berapa kali abang cium?"

"Mmm…random 2. Subuh 1, sebelum tidur 1. Kalau Maghrib Isyak abang dekat rumah 2"

"Rajin kira"

"Mesti laaa"

"Cium lain?"

"Mengadaaa la"

"Nak pergi pantai…lepak dalam kereta…cari benda tersembunyi hahaha"

"Eyy sambal bilis. Kita rebus anak itik awak nak?"

"Mana aci main kotor"

Panggilan telefon

16-04-2024

Israel Powerful Lobby

Seat belakang

"Abang pernah cakap pasal future plan masa kita kenal dulu?"

"Tak"

"Kita pernah bincang nak beli rumah dekat mana?"

"Mesti la tak. Abang dah ada rumah, kita pun dah ada rumah"

"Benda apa paling mahal abang bagi Ara?"

"Masa abang"

"Hmm?"

"Abang sentiasa sibuk tapi abang ada masa dengan Ara. Sebelum kawin abang asyik ulang 3 benda je. Lepas kawin kita menetap oversea, Ara mungkin kena berhenti kerja"

"Fikir baik-baik nak kawin dengan abang. Abang dah ada 3 anak"

"Ha'a. Tu je"

"Cukup masa dengan Ara?"

"Tak… tapi kan…masa abang cuti setahun Ara happy sangat. Berkepit je dengan abang"

"Happy sampai dapat anak hahaha"

"Happy overdose"

"Boleh la pergi pantai malam-malam tidur dalam kereta hmm hehe"

"Apa, bang?"

"Seat belakang luas"

"Abang jangan mengada"

"Kita goncang-goncang kereta hahahaha"

"Nak kena cubit ke?"

"Dua seat depan kalau turunkan jadi tilam cantum seat belakang. Tu kereta antik tu"

"Abang jangan macam-macam. Kita simen, nak?"

"Simen la takut apa. Atas unta pun boleh haha"

"Abang jangan laaa. Mengada tau. Tidur aje cukup"

"Tak cukup"

"Kita kena gelabah tak?"

"Mana boleh tolak haa"

"Abanggg jangan la. Nervous dah ni"

"Hahahaha"

Panggilan telefon

14-04-2024

Lunyai

"Baru habis ngadap laptop. Malam kerja macam biasa"

"Perut macam mana?"

"Sakit"

"Hati?"

"Lagi sakit. Nak keluar pukul orang"

"Suka sangat pukul orang"

"Haah"

"Nak pukul berapa orang?"

"20 je kalau larat"

"20 je? Sikit sangat tu bang"

"Berapa nak?"

"50"

"Okey kita kasi lunyai"

"Semua tau"

"Ha"

"Marah aje pukul orang"

"…………"

"Marah siapa?"

"Tak ada siapa"

"The past is in your head. Let it go, sayang"

"Abang tak fikir. Benda tu datang sendiri"

"Ignore je"

"Okey"

Panggilan telefon

13-04-2024

Takut

"Dua hari lagi kalau tak ada apa-apa abang balik"

"Mmm…takut la, bang…"

"Ara takut apa?"

"Takut macam-macam…"

"Jangan panik. Tenang, jangan fikir banyak"

"Mmm…"

"Relaks, okey?"

"Takut…"

"Tak ada apa nak takut. Perasaan je tu"

"Takut abang mati……"

"Tak…"

"Tak nak hilang abang…"

"Abang ada"

"Takut sangat…"

Panggilan telefon

12-04-2024

Bitcoin

1. The price of bitcoin was down 7% to $62,570 as of 4:40 p.m.
2. The price of ethereum fell over 9% to $2,923, while prices for Binance coin and solana dropped 9% and nearly 18%, respectively.
3. Prices for several less-traded cryptocurrencies dropped by at least 15%, including avalanche (20%), XRP (20%) and the meme token dogecoin (18%).

Forbes

Letih

"Kerajaan akan adakan mesyuarat khas 6 petang ini susulan serangan Iran terhadap Israel - PM Anwar"

"Duduk diam-diam je la. Ish!"

"Dia pun busy, bang"

"Kata hari tu ada orang nak bunuh. Apa jadi?"

"Senyap macam tu aje"

"………"

"Abang okey?"

"Okey. Letih sikit. Dah habis kerja. Rehat kejab. Malam sambung"

"Ada makanan tak?"

"Ada"

"Betul?"

"Tak ada. Dahaga…hari ni tak puasa. Esok"

"Abang makan apa hari ni?"

"Last makan berbuka semalam"

"Abang An"

"Hmm?"

"Take care, please"

"Okey"

Panggilan telefon

14-04-2024

Ara yang aku sayangi

Selamat Hari Raya. Hari ini hari raya ke empat dan aku terpaksa tinggalkan keluarga untuk berkerja. Ara baik-baik saja walaupun nampak sedih tapi dia telah biasa di tinggalkan. Tak pernah merungut, cuma ada sekali-sekala merajuk. Sungguh, dia perempuan yang sangat mulia dan aku sendiri sebagai suami selalu ingin memuliakannya. Tak banyak perempuan sepertinya di dunia ini dan aku bertuah memiliknya - sangat bertuah.

Aku berasa teramat sunyi hari ini. Aku baca surat-surat Ara yang lepas. Surat-surat yang tak pernah aku letakkan di sini. Aku lebih suka menyimpannya sendiri - hanya untuk aku. Istimewanya begitu. Sebelum berkahwin hinggalah sekarang, surat-suratnya aku simpan dengan rapi. Ara yang aku sayangi, Ara yang aku kagumi, Ara yang aku cintai. Tak ada yang lebih mulia dari dirinya, tak ada yang lebih mempersona dari dirinya.

Semasa di Dubai, aku bawa Ara ke majlis berbuka puasa. Aku jarang hadiri majlis tapi kali ini aku hadirkan diri untuk Ara. Seperti selalunya, Ara kelihatan anggun dan jelita. Dia sentiasa senyum, membalas sapaan seadanya. Pandai membawa diri dalam keramaian. Bagi aku, dia cukup sempurna. Melihat dia ketawa sudah cukup membuat aku gembira. Aku sering ikut ketawa bersama walau dalam hal-hal yang sederhana.

Sebahagian dari isi suratnya:-

"without any hesitation, you gallantly pulled out a chair for me in the middle of the grand assembly. I noticed several women casting envious glances our way, their curiosity piqued by our presence. Your demeanor in that moment was one of quiet elegance, distinguishing you from the rest. The air around you spoke of a well-lived life and cherished experiences. Your silent, chivalrous stand was a rare sight in a world that sometimes forgets its manners. The pride swelled within me, knowing I was the one you honored with such a courteous act.

The evening was a display of sophistication and grace; every detail was a reflection of your impeccable taste and the care you put into everything you touch. The chandeliers shimmered above us, and the melody of music wove through the air, creating a perfect harmony that seemed to be under your subtle command. As the evening came to an end, I pondered the privilege it was to spend time in your company, to share moments with someone of such uncommon character

Thank you for an exquisite evening. It has been an honor to be by your side."

Catatan senja

12-04-2024

Tak ada usaha

"Abang dengar lagu apa?"

"*Berkorban apa saja

Harta atau pun nyawa

Itulah kasih mesra sejati dan mulia

Kepentingan sendiri tidak diingini

Bahagia kekasih saja yang diharapi"

"Astu sedih"

"Tak. Nak sedih buat apa"

"Geram aje kita dengan abang"

"Mesti la geram. Abang kan handsome. Tengok pun dah kenyang haha"

"Perasannya"

"Kita berkorban lepas tu orang cakap kita tak ada usaha hmm sakitnya hati"

"Abang, okey tak?"

"Okey"

*Berkorban Apa Saja, P.Ramlee

Panggilan telefon

13-04-2024

Fokus

"Abang muntah 3 kali. Perut rasa tak sedap"

"Semalam makan apa?"

"Biasa je"

"Fikir banyak?"

"Tak…"

"You good?"

"Okey"

"Fokus"

"Ye"

"Stay focus, sayang"

"Ada satu dua benda ganggu. Tak penting pun"

"Abang fikir apa?"

"Tak ada apa"

"Kalau tak fikir, abang tak muntah. Abang depres, kan?"

"Tak"

Panggilan telefon

12-04-2024

Masa depan

"Tu sebab hari tu abang tak bagi pergi New York. Tengok, dah gempa"

"Acam mana boleh baca masa depan ehhh"

"Taiwan-India-Jepun-New York. Gempa sekali. Hari ni Myanmar"

"CR selamat tak, bang?"

"Selamat. InshaAllah"

Geylang Serai, Singapura

06-04-2024

Complicated

"Bang, jom pergi Melaka"

"Buat apa Melaka?"

"Jalan-jalan"

"Jalan sesak. Hari minggu"

"Jom pergi Jakarta"

"Buat apa? Beli tempe?"

"Pergi bazar"

"Kalau.awal sikit boleh. Ni dah lewat"

"Esok boleh tak?"

"Ara nak beli apa?"

"Ayam penyet"

"Sini pun ada"

"Nak sana"

"Esok. Bawa anak sekali pergi. Tidur sana je. Tak sempat balik berbuka, susah"

"Nak beli ayam je. Tak nak tidur"

"Cari siap-siap, pergi ambil lepas tu balik. Tak sempat la abang rasa. Bawa anak je la. Lambat pun anak dah ada sana"

"Complicated la abang ni. Bab tu Kajang suka marah abang"

"Apa pulak. Betul la. Pergi sejam, balik sejam. Naik teksi pergi tempat tu lagi"

"Grab"

"Sama la"

"Lain"

"Tetap jugak kena tempuh jalan sesak. Tak boleh la. Nanti abang susah hati anak tinggal"

"Astu beranak banyak"

"Ara yang beranak, kan?"

"Abang punya pasal, kan?"

"Salah abang?"

"Ha'a. Tak payah la pergi. Susah abang ni. Kalau pergi dah sampai"

"Laa. Abang jugak salah"

(tt)

Jodoh

"Abang tak ada, Ara raya macam biasa, okey?"

"Bukan tak ada. Abang pergi kerja…kan…"

"Abang pergi kerja, Ara raya macam biasa, okey?"

"Abang tak ada. Tak sama…"

"Hari tu malam kita dah raya sama"

"Tak sama…"

"Sayang, yang mana satu? hehe"

"Eee! Jangan la ingatkan. Malu tau"

"Malu ke?"

"Ha'a"

"Tapi suka?"

"Malu je"

"Tak suka?"

"Tak tahu"

"Mesti abang rindu Ara"

"Astu nak rindu siapa? Skandal?"

"Skandal semua busy-lah. Nak raya"

"Abang…kawan kita datang. Alaa abang tak ada"

"Kawan mana?"

"Yang kita jumpa dekat Bangsar tahun lepas"

"Rasa macam baru je tahun lepas"

"Abang ingat tak?"

"Ingat"

"Alaaa. Susah la cari jodoh abang"

"Eh dia"

Geylang Serai, Singapore

06-04-2024

April 12, 2024

Semoga hidupmu dirahmati dengan rezeki yang berlimpah, ilmu yang berguna, amal yang kekal, kesihatan yang baik, dan kebahagiaan yang abadi.

Engkaulah keindahan yang tak terlupakan, melebihi segala keindahan yang pernah hadir di sepanjang perjalanan hidupku.

Selamat Hari Lahir duhai kekasihku yang manis.

You

"It's a lovely night"

"It's a lovely you"

"Don't look at me like that"

"Like what?"

"Do you love me?"

"Love is a singular thing that humans like to argue about"

"In the next world, I'll find you first"

"You were written as my soulmate 50,000 years before we were born"

_

"Beautiful sunrise, beautiful day"

"Beautiful you…"

"I smell fresh air"

"I smell you"

April 7, 2024

Singapore

…but to us— it's apart

Maybe we should never talk again, and let the unsaid words unfold because in the end it will go to nothing. Silent means we're going to go back like we used before— no attachment, no feelings and likes. Perhaps, we're just met by destiny to give a realization that not all we want we can have after all it's all about the right person at the wrong time.

I know it's a bittersweet goodbye, but I'll look forward to the love that we made in our heart it's unrequited, yet looks at the bright side we deeply learned a lot, we feel happy and sad but I guess that's enough.

We both deserve the love, but to us— it's apart.

—A. Claire Poetry