My dearest Nurhara, my heart,
A survey suggests that on rainy days, people tend to write sad things on Facebook. For me, rainy days are calming. I love listening to the downpour. We often associate love with something we cherish in nature. Nature always reminds us of the people we love. Tthe rain pours heavily outside and you sleep peacefully, I find myself watching over you.
People say love is a life force. For me, however, it isn’t love that drives me—it’s money. I pursue it from the sea (petroleum), from rivers (gold, diamonds), from mountains (crystals, marble, and yes, cement), and from forests (timber like cengal merah). Money has been my drive since childhood. A man is defined by the money he can make.
God doesn’t always give us who we love most. He gives us the person we need. We need good company for growth. Marriage can transform our lives. If we choose the right person, our lives will shine; otherwise, it can become a living hell. As the proverb says, 'A good wife is a crown to her husband.' A good woman is an investment for a man.
Marriage isn’t easy. We prepare for romance but often neglect preparation for hardship. Marriage involves enduring struggle, but the key is who we choose to struggle with. A strong relationship is an ongoing fight through hardships. We stay and don’t leave when things get tough. True love stands firm through the storms.
I am not a romantic man. I don’t know how to melt a girl’s heart. I am still learning to love you the way you want to be loved, but don’t expect too much from me. I can’t give you something I don’t have. Love means accepting our partner’s flaws. We are human, and humans are not perfect. There is no perfection in life. It’s our job to make our lives feel perfect.
To love someone, we first need to find ourselves; otherwise, we risk making our loved one miserable. When we find ourselves, we can love others better. Loving someone isn’t easy; it can be Byzantine. As a quote says, “Giving your heart to somebody is the scariest, most dangerous, most perplexing thing,” but despite everything, it’s worth it.
I always say that the person we choose reflects who we are. Who we are and who we become are partly influenced by whom we love. Marriage is a long-term commitment that reveals many dark sides of ourselves and our partners. This can make us uncomfortable and unsettled. We must manage these truths delicately and maturely.
Often, after marriage, we discover our partner’s hidden secrets or habits. We begin to see their true colors behind the masks they once wore. Here lies the challenge: we must tolerate their bad habits or behavior. We may question the decision we made. We may think that we married to a wrong person and they are not our home that we can be dependable.
When we discover our partner’s flaws, it can lead to explosive reactions. The problem itself may not break our relationship, but how we react will determine its strength. In relationships, we must understand that we were raised differently, which means we love, see, react, and communicate differently. Every rose has its thorn.
The important part is to respect each other’s differences and understand where one another is coming from. I hope we are the right people for each other. Johnny Depp once said, “The worst prison in the world is a home without peace. Be careful who you marry or fall in love with.” The person we share our life with should be our true home.
Eternally yours,
Abang
Guatemala City, Guatemala
September 6, 2024