To My Sons, Umar and Adam
1. Rise Before Fajr
Wake before dawn, for the breath of the morning carries barakah. Let no one, not even your wife bear the duty of rousing you for prayer, sahur, or work. The first triumph of a man is mastery over his sleep.
2. Guard the Five Prayers in Jama‘ah
Establish the five prayers in congregation. The Messenger of Allah called us not merely to worship, but to stand shoulder to shoulder before our Creator. The man who guards his prayer guards the equilibrium of his life.
3. Share the Work of the Home
Learn to serve within your own house. You are not a king, and your wife is no slave. Greatness does not grow in idle hands. A wife seeks a partner she can depend on, not a child she must tend. Lighten her burdens, and her heart will remain your refuge.
4. Be Established Before Marriage
Before you seek a wife, establish yourself—in knowledge, craft, and livelihood. A woman’s respect for her husband is born of his steadiness. Society heeds the competent, not the unprepared, even when truth rests with the latter.
5. Marry a Woman of Akhlaq
Choose a woman whose beauty is rooted in her manners. Faces fade, but character endures. Her intellect and her piety will raise your children better than beauty ever could.
6. Love Wisely and Faithfully
Love deeply, yet keep a corner of your heart untouched, so that if love falters, you remain whole. When you marry, love the one you choose—for love survives not through perfection but through patience and devotion.
7. Heed Your Wife’s Counsel
Listen when your wife speaks. Wisdom is not the birthright of men alone. Many homes have been saved by a woman’s insight and many ruined when her counsel was dismissed.
8. Loyalty Is Proven by Temptation
True loyalty is not proclaimed—it is revealed when betrayal is possible. If someone chooses another, let them go. Do not compete for affection; true treasure cannot be stolen. Trust once broken becomes glass—it may shine again, but it will never be whole.
9. Master Your Desires
Lust consumes faster than fire. Guard your eyes, your time, and your solitude. One reckless moment can undo years of honour. The strongest man is he who conquers himself.
10. Discipline Your Body
Rule your appetites. Eat wholesome food and fast often. Strengthen your body; a frail form clouds the soul. Drink plain water—it clears the mind and steadies the nerves. Bathe often, trim your hair, and dress well; self-respect begins with order. Wear perfume, for pleasant fragrance softens the hearts of those around you.
11. Speak and Write with Clarity and Kindness
When you speak, speak gently; when you write, write properly and clearly, in full sentences. Words are mirrors of the mind — the clarity of your thought is seen in the order of your speech.
If you have nothing good to say, keep silent. Do not let your tongue wound others, for a careless word may cut deeper than a blade. The wise speak to build, not to break; and the most eloquent truth is sometimes silence.
Guard your speech as you guard your honour, for once released, words cannot be recalled. Remember: silence is not weakness — it is mastery over impulse, and often the highest form of wisdom.
12. Eat Together as a Family
Share your meals with those you love. The table binds hearts more firmly than speech. In the breaking of bread and the sharing of laughter, affection renews itself without words.
13. Respect the Elders
Honour the aged, regardless of their station. Never speak down to them, for they bear the weight of years you have yet to live. Listen to their stories; they are the roots of wisdom. One day you shall be the same for others.
14. Invest in Yourself
Never cease learning. Acquire the crafts that strengthen your independence—plumbing, carpentry, electrical work, roofing, painting, mechanics, coding, public speaking, and leadership. A degree may open a door, but mastery builds the house beyond it.
15. Read Endlessly
Feed your mind as you feed your body. Read philosophy, science, history, economics, and literature—but let the Qur’an be your constant companion. It polishes the intellect, awakens conscience, and humbles pride.
_
My dear sons,
When my voice is no longer among you, let these words be my echo. Be men of honour and mercy. Be gentle to your wives, just to your children, and humble before your Creator. Earn your living through what is halal, avoid the doubtful, and flee from the haram. Remember, hard work outlasts talent, and sincerity outshines praise. May your hands build what your hearts believe. May your names be spoken with kindness long after I am gone.
With love,
Daddy
Jeddah, Saudi Arabia
5 October, 2025