Sakit dada :(

"Abang rindu nak balik Malaysia"

"Wanna go back and stay for a couple of months, or at least a year?"

"…tapi…hmm…"

"Kita balik aje. Ase tak okey kita pindah"

"Ara rasa okey ke?"

"Jalan terus. Okey kita stay, tak okey kita bye. Tak susah pun"

"Kita nak stay mana?"

"Putrajaya?"

"PD?"

"Okey"

"Tak ada bantahan?"

"Nope"

"Kalau rumah dekat Sendayan dah siap boleh masuk. Pertengahan 2026. Lambat lagi"

"Kita senanya nak tanya, tapi abang dah jawab"

_

"Askar kita macam mana? Nak daftar masuk sekolah?"

"Yuran berapa, bang?"

"Satu orang RM 2700 basic"

"Astu nak tambah triplet hihihi"

"Boleh je. Kata on 2026"

"Duit memahami kita tak?"

"Kita orang Islam. Orang Islam jangan risau pasal rezeki. Allah bagi kita ambil. Tambah, bersyukur. Tak ada rezeki tambah pun bersyukur yang sedia ada"

"Tiba nak sekolah. Macam semalam aje lahirkan dia orang. Sakit bersalin still terasa tau"

"Ye la. Ara pun makin tua"

"Tua jangan sebut eh"

"Hahahahaha"

_

"Tak jadi la"

"Astu kita cakap jangan fikir"

"Banyak lagi tempat kita boleh duduk"

"Kajang misalnya"

"Beli yang dekat sikit. Senang nak skodeng guna teropong"

"Gatal"

"Nama pun laki. Mana ada laki tak gatal"

31-10-2025

Hai Ara,

Abang berada di Lapangan Terbang Antarabangsa Velana seawal jam 7:20 pagi. Penerbangan Ara di jangka tiba jam 7:45 pagi. Kembar masih tidur semasa abang keluar rumah. Kita kemudian singgah di Meraki Coffee Roasters. Kata penduduk tempatan, kopi di sini sangat sedap dan ternyata mereka benar. Nampaknya, kafe ini telah menangkap hati kita untuk berlama-lama menikmati aroma kopi yang hangat ditemani perbualan semi berat di awal pagi. Kita kemudian melalui lorong-lorong pejalan kaki menuju kedai buku. Banyak seleksi yang menarik hati tetapi belum cukup memikat seperti kedai buku di Cyprus. Abang sangat menyukai kedai buku di Cyprus – Bibliocosmos Bookshop dan Rüstem Kitabevi terutamanya.   Buku-buku langka di Cyprus  sangat mengujakan seperti di Jimbocho, Jepun. 

Abang menyukai Cyprus kerana keindahan budayanya yang rencam –  antara Turki dan Greece yang membentuk identiti tersendiri bagi pulau kecil ini. Panoramanya menakjubkan, dengan pantai  jernih sejauh mata memandang. Sejak ketegangan geopolitik antara Israel dan Iran meletus, gelombang migrasi warga Israel ke Cyprus semakin meningkat. Menurut Stefanos Stefanou, Setiausaha Agung parti pembangkang AKEL, terdapat kebimbangan serius mengenai pembelian hartanah oleh rakyat Israel secara besar-besaran, khususnya di kawasan tumpuan seperti Limassol dan Larnaca. Dari tahun 2021 hingga Januari 2025, sebanyak 1,406 hartanah telah dibeli oleh warga Israel di Larnaca, namun hanya 481 daripadanya mempunyai surat hak milik yang sah. Angka ini pasti akan terus meningkat.

Syarat pembelian hartanah bagi warga asing ialah tanah yang tidak dibahagikan kepada lot (plot) sehingga 4,000 m². Stefanou menegaskan bahawa pembelian ini bersifat bersasar, di sertai pembentukan komuniti berpagar (gated communities) yang hanya boleh diakses oleh warga Israel, serta pembangunan sekolah Zionis dan sinagog sebagai sebahagian daripada strategi “pengaruh Israel”. Beliau memberi amaran bahawa sekiranya tiada tindakan segera, tanah Cyprus mungkin “tidak lagi menjadi milik orang Cyprus.” Hidup dalam kalangan warga Israel tidak selalu mendamaikan. Mereka sering membuat bising, membuang sampah sesuka hati dan sikap eksklusif yang berakar pada mentaliti Chutzpah sering menimbulkan rasa kurang senang dalam kalangan penduduk tempatan. 

Pada 10 Oktober 2025, Bangkok Post melaporkan tindakan tegas pihak berkuasa di Koh Phangan terhadap hotel dan resort yang dikendalikan oleh warga Israel tanpa permit sah. Antara yang terlibat ialah Hotel Arcana kerana tidak mempunyai permit operasi manakala Fishman Villa dan Thoren Phangan merupakan hotel yang tidak berlesen. Art of Nature Resort & Spa  pula beroperasi dengan lesen tamat tempoh dan pekerja tidak sah. Banyak pengusaha asing menggunakan struktur nominee untuk mengelak undang-undang pemilikan tempatan. Penduduk serta pengusaha tempatan semakin tidak berpuas hati dengan kehadiran warga asing yang menjalankan perniagaan tanpa lesen, menggunakan pemandu pelancong tidak berdaftar, dan menutup peluang pekerjaan bagi penduduk tempatan.

Tindakan ini menimbulkan ketegangan antara pengusaha asing dan penduduk tempatan yang merasakan mereka dipinggirkan di tanah air sendiri. Warga Israel memberi tumpuan kepada industri pelancongan — hotel, resort, dan khidmat pelancongan. Sebahagian kawasan di Koh Phangan kini digambarkan sebagai “second Tel Aviv.” Fenomena yang sama turut berlaku di Phuket apabila kehadiran warga Rusia amat ketara dan tidak terbendung. Lebih satu juta pelancong Rusia melawat Phuket pada separuh pertama tahun 2025 menjadikannya pasaran asing terbesar di pulau itu. Warga Rusia kini mendominasi perniagaan kafe, salon, dan aplikasi pengangkutan. Sebanyak 40–60% jualan kondominium di Phuket dibeli oleh mereka. Akibatnya, harga hartanah melambung tinggi. 

Selain Cyprus dan Thailand, Greece juga menyaksikan peningkatan mendadak kehadiran rakyat Israel. Agen hartanah tempatan melaporkan bahawa warga Israel kini antara pembeli utama hartanah kediaman di Athens dan Thessaloniki. Skala pelaburan tahunan oleh individu Israel dianggarkan melebihi €500 juta, dan dijangka mencecah €1 bilion menjelang 2026. Pada tahun 2023, pelaburan Israel menyumbang kepada  €1.32 bilion hasil daripada program Golden Visa Greece.  Hasil tinjauan mendapati Permit Golden Visa bagi pelabur Israel meningkat 96% dari tahun ke tahun yakni daripada 260 kepada 510 permit setakat pertengahan 2025. Ramai warga Israel memilih Greece sebagai rumah kedua atau tempat persaraan kerana kos sara hidup yang jauh lebih rendah berbanding bandar elit seperti Tel Aviv.

Data yang tersedia jelas menunjukkan bahawa kehadiran komuniti asing secara besar-besaran telah menekan struktur sosial tempatan, mengubah dinamik ekonomi, dan meningkatkan ketidakselesaan dalam kalangan penduduk asal. Fenomena ini bukan sekadar soal angka atau pelaburan semata-mata, tetapi menyentuh dimensi yang lebih mendalam — identiti, kedaulatan, dan hak masyarakat terhadap ruang hidup mereka sendiri. Kehadiran komuniti luar yang membawa modal besar sering kali mempercepatkan proses gentrifikasi, menyebabkan harga hartanah melonjak dan akses kepada pemilikan aset menjadi semakin sukar bagi warga tempatan. Apabila ekonomi tempatan mula dikuasai oleh warga asing, keseimbangan sosial tergugat dan jurang ekonomi melebar. 

Lebih membimbangkan, perubahan landskap sosial turut melahirkan tekanan psikologi serta keletihan emosi dalam kalangan penduduk setempat. Dalam konteks yang lebih luas, keadaan ini boleh mencetuskan reaksi sosial berantai — daripada rasa tidak puas hati, kepada polarisasi masyarakat, seterusnya mencabar keutuhan sosial dan kestabilan nasional. Cyprus, Thailand dan Greece merupakan contoh jelas bahawa migrasi serta pelaburan asing, walaupun membawa manfaat yang besar dalam ekonomi, peluang pekerjaan, dan limpahan pelancongan, juga memerlukan kawalan dasar yang teliti agar tidak menjejaskan integriti sosial, budaya, dan ekonomi masyarakat asal serta berada dalam kerangka keadilan sosial, keseimbangan ekonomi, dan pemeliharaan identiti nasional.

Male, Maldives

12 Oktober 2025 

I tried to sleep. I practised numerous breathing techniques, but after forty-five minutes I still couldn’t fall asleep. It’s always you that my mind pictures. I can hear the melody of your voice. Sometimes I see you smile, sometimes laugh, and sometimes I see you with him. When my eyes grow teary, I wipe them two or three times. I don’t want to cry. I don’t want to feel sad. I want to let you go—I really do, sometimes. But I can’t. Not because I still have hope, but because I still love you. Love doesn’t fade just because we wish it to. I’m tired. After working non-stop for fourteen days, my body needs rest, but my mind refuses to slow down.

Tokyo, Japan

October 27, 2025

Dearest my darling, darling,

di hari ia melahirkan cintanya

ia berkata kepada kekasihnya,

“kita tidak usah berjanji untuk setia,

kerana kita tidak mahu setia kerana janji.

kita akan setia kerana cinta,

hanya kerana cinta.”

di hari perkahwinannya

ia berkata kepada kekasihnya,

“perkahwinan ini adalah ikatan,

tapi kita tidak usah terikat kerananya.

kita terikat kerana cinta,

hanya kerana cinta.”

di hari-hari kemudiannya

ia berkata kepada dirinya,

“perkahwinan kadang-kadang 

mengajar kita melupakan cinta 

untuk belajar hidup bersama.”

— Zurinah Hassan

I reread your love letter on July 28, 2025, while we were on vacation. It was one of those quiet, tender moments we spent together. I know you’re not one for endless adventures, so I chose a slower holiday—not packed with plans, but rich with stillness. You were right when you said travelling can be exhausting, yet it gives us precious time to simply be. How was your day at home with our four little toddlers? Are they still as quick and mischievous as ninjas? Take your time to eat, enjoy your meals slowly, and 休む時間を取りなさい.

I wanted to send you a short message, but instead, I found myself writing this letter. This is actually the second time I’ve rewritten it. I often feel my writing isn’t good enough. I was trained to write technically, not emotionally but you always remind me that my words carry warmth. I stopped writing for years, then returned to journaling—to writing letters to you. It calms me. It helps me untangle the thoughts that never stop running through my mind. Writing makes me feel alive. It makes me pause for a moment, and then let myself bleed onto the page.

Today, I reread Satu Cerita Cinta by our National Laureate, Zurinah Hassan—again and again, as I often do. I keep returning to it, trying to feel every layer of its meaning. I was never drawn to women writers, but through our years together—besides music—you’ve opened a new door in literature for me. You used to say that I introduced you to good books, but truly, you also led me to profound readings that shaped my thinking. I’ve come to enjoy your kind of literature. There is no waste in exploring something new—it always builds a deeper understanding.

Between us, you’ve always had the stronger emotional intelligence. You’re mature enough to carry even the hardest conversations. You listen deeply, without judgment, and you think differently with a rare clarity that feels both kind and wise. I love you for that. Every conversation with you whether a passing thought or a long discussion has sharpened the way I think, making my mind more perspicacious. If there is one person I should thank for that, it is you. You illuminate the other side of the coin, helping me see what I might have missed. 

Leo Tolstoy once said, “Nothing is so necessary for a young man as the company of intelligent women.” And Buddha wrote in the Dhammapada “If you do not find an intelligent companion, a wise and well-behaved person going the same way as yourself, then go on your way alone—like a king abandoning a conquered kingdom, or like a great elephant in the deep forest.” Both remind me of you. Since young, I’ve admired intelligent women—they are, after all, the foundation of civilization. Marrying you has been one of the greatest blessings from Allah.

Love is not always beautiful. Sometimes we grow weary—of life, of routines, even of each other. We tend to wander, yet each time that happens and we choose to stay—that is love. Love isn’t about choosing someone only when it’s easy; it’s choosing them again and again, especially when life grows heavy, when emotions falter, when money is short, or when health wavers. Love isn’t always a magical world, as you often remind me, but I believe it is something far greater. It is strength disguised as tenderness. It carries us through every storm.

In marriage, we can’t always avoid difficult conversations; those we wish we never had to face. Not everyone can express what lives in their heart. It takes courage and maturity to do that. I’m not someone who opens up easily. I’ve always been taciturn. Not one to wear my heart on my sleeve, keeping most feelings to myself. When I’m angry, I often stay silent. I don’t want to deliver great invective in fury, so instead, I’ve punched mirrors. By doing that, I was trying to be more sangfroid—it calmed me in ways words never could.

Saidina Ali once said, “There will come a time when you realize that restraining your tongue to avoid offending someone is more noble than expressing what is in your heart.” Yet in marriage, this cannot always be applied in full. There are things we must speak of, however uncomfortable they may be. It takes courage, patience, and maturity to be honest about the heart. Sometimes, we stay silent because we don’t know what language could make others understand what we truly feel, or how to turn our silence into something they can perceive.

When I was a child, I met evil too soon. I saw and heard terrible things almost every night. I was helpless—covering my ears and closing my eyes, praying for it to stop. I wiped my tears and begged God for peace. That was my quiet trauma. I was taught never to speak out, not to “hurt” others’ feelings, to always obey. The place I grew up in was both a nightmare and a heaven, but I choose to remember the beautiful days and pretend the horrid trauma never existed. I couldn’t speak to anyone about it. I felt I shouldn’t.

The purpose of marriage is companionship: a mind beside a mind, a heart tied to a heart, a hand that heals, a soul that supports, and a presence that brings peace. Saidina Umar al-Khattab once said, “The greatest gift after faith is your wife.” Marriage is a long journey; we must take the bitter with the sweet. Sometimes we tire when our hearts run out of strength. That is when patience becomes love’s truest test. Saidina Ali ibn Abi Talib once said, “The best patience is the patience shown toward the shortcomings of the one you love.”

Many live in marriages that take away their very essence. But marriage should nurture growth—it should help us expand in thought, in faith, and in the fullness of being. It may take years to build, but deep down, we always know whether we are growing or shrinking. A person raised in love and one raised in survival will always see the world differently. Yet through our differences, we’ve learned to exchange ideas and understand each other. The boundary between us is that we always agree to disagree. That, I believe, is the most beautiful part of us.

You never saw love the way I do. You’re a realist—a woman who moves forward quickly and never builds her home in nostalgia. I’ve always seen you as strong and capable of anything, yet once you chose a man, you let him lead and guide you with grace. You listened to my advice, devoted yourself to me, and made me feel like a king in his own kingdom. You always wanted me by your side, never letting me out of your sight for even a moment. Finding you has been one of life’s greatest honours—for you were, and always will be, the closest to my soul.

From my soul to your soul,

Abang

October 25, 2025 / 1:44 am

Hong Kong

"👗👍@👎"

"👙💦🔥"

"🙄"

"👀"

"🌶"

"👶👶👶👶👶👶"

"😱"

"😁"

"🤔"

"🏃🏃🏃🏃"

"🙅"

"😋😍"

23-10-2025

Yeke..sy mgharap husb nak setiap hari..sy terasa kalau husb xnak..bila nak tu sy rasa di hargai..tapi husb pndai kawal nfsu..dia xnk nmpk mcm pmpn lain cop..asyik yg tuuu jeee..tapi sy xd pun nk fikir cam tu..tp xpelah..sy bila2 dia nak pun sy sudi bg.tp dia pndai kawal nfsu..hahaha..jd xpelah.jnji bukan sy yg xnk bg.xde la sy brdosa kn..😂

(Facebook)

_

"Siapa tu, Ra?"

"Komen nurtizen. Dia reply sebab laki situ cakap tak normal kalau suami tak minta hari-hari. Laki situ semua cakap nak hari-hari"

"Oooo"

"And semua pakat suruh poligami. Ada wife cakap nak tip top aje tapi terkulai separuh jalan. Semua bini makan hati. Tapi kan komen tu takde laki reply"

"Kerja apa dia orang tu? Laki T20 jarang bising pasal seks. Ada tapi susah dengar"

"Entahlah, bang. Komen memasing salahkan wife aje"

"Kita ni Ara, ada jalan halal ada jalan haram. Yang haram, makan luar. Yang halal, poligami. Tapi kalau poligami, duit tak cukup - nak main pun tak ada mood. Nak ada mood, tak boleh ada gangguan / masalah. Kalau tak, otak tak boleh fokus. Kalau isteri tak nak maksudnya otak dia tengah serabut fikir benda lain. Duit dapur tak cukup ke, letih jaga anak ke, terasa hati ke, suami layu di tengah jalan ke. Apa-apa la. Kalau suami dah perbetulkan semua tapi isteri tak nak juga barulah kawin 2,3,4. Selesaikan masalah dalam rumah dulu. Perempuan, bila dia bahagia dengan suami jarang tolak ajakkan. Dia faham dosa pahala. Imam kena betul baru makmum ikut. Abang selalu usik member kawin banyak - siapa mintak dulu. Ada bini tapi bini tak pernah minta tak hero la. Nak jadi king macam mana"

"Senanya kita teringat abang cerita wife yang nak tiap hari"

"Ha yang laki lari tak nak balik rumah tu"

"Ha'a"

"Abang…"

"Dah okey sikit dah"

"Kita kan nak minta maaf. Kita acam mmm salah sangka dengan abang"

"…………"

"Kita acam marah abang ambil ramai sangat pembantu…jaga kembar…kemas rumah…masak mmm"

"Hal tu dah settle, kan?"

"Senanya…abang tak nak kita burnout. Abang tahu kita tak boleh stay up astu cepat letih astu cepat mengantuk. Kita kan tidur awal. Tapi kita salah faham. Kita anggap abang cakap kita tak mampu jaga kembar. Kita nak buktikan kita mampu mmm"

"Dahlah. Benda dah lepas. Ara dah faham kan"

"Ri ni ada kes retis penat jaga anak. Dia acam meroyan tak cukup tidur. Tidur 2 jam aje. Kita teringat…kita tak bersyukur…suami kita siang malam jaga anak sediakan semua astu kita ajak gaduh…acam calon neraka, kan…"

"Apa cakap macam tu. Tak baik la"

"Mmm…down jab"

"Ara…penat jaga anak semua orang rasa tambah bila kita gaduh anak meragam 24 jam. Macam abang hari tu meroyan la jugak kot - tahun lepas. Benda biasa je. Bila masing-masing penat emosi mula la serba-serbi tak kena. Benda kecik pun jadi besar. Sampai sekarang abang terkilan marah Luqman. Dia bukan tahu apa. Dahlah dia tak nak dengan abang sebab selalu kena tinggal. Bila jaga, kena marah pulak"

"Sorry…salah kita…"

"Taklah. Salah abang"

Panggilan telefon

23-10-2025

When your partner teaches you something new, it creates a connection that goes beyond physical or emotional attraction. It’s a kind of intimacy built on curiosity, respect, and growth.

Sharing knowledge becomes a way of nurturing each other, and that mutual learning strengthens the bond in ways surface-level relationships never can.

(Facebook)

_

"Kita baca astu semestinya ingat abang. Mekasih tau rajin hantar kita esei astu peta minda astu macam-macam"

"Ha"

"Pengetua kan tanya suami kerja apa"

"Kenapa pengetua tanya?"

"Kita share abang tulis pasal kes dekat sekolah. Panjang tau dia respons"

"Ha? Kenapa Ara share? Adoi. Benda merepek je tu"

"Semua abang tulis kita share. Kita acam ase kita perlu share supaya ramai dapat manfaat"

"Ra, padam la"

"Kita senanya nak tulis laki kita tak reti bazir masa. Main game pun dia tak tahu. Aktiviti dia manfaat aje macam lelaki bosan tak reti have fun hihihi"

"Ey Hartamas. Panggang atas api nak?"

"Jangan marah bang nanti kena jual"

"Malu la Ara letak semua tu. Abang bukannya pandai. Abang tulis untuk catatan je sebab abang suka menulis"

"Abang jugak cakap kalau bukan suami handsome yang mencerdikkan isteri siapa lagi haaaa"

"Suami bagi isteri je. Yang isteri letak dekat FB buat apa haaaa"

"Takde isu sulit tak salah pun. Laki kita cakap sebarkanlah walau satu ayat. Lupa ek"

"Susah cakap dengan peguam"

Panggilan telefon

22-10-2025

I didn’t send the random text. To be honest, saying that this is not a passionate love might sound too brutally honest and could make her sad, or worse, be misunderstood. I like this kind of love. With Ara, I feel more stable, mature, and calm, and I can say anything. I can be vulnerable. I am not afraid that she will judge me. I am not afraid of anything—perhaps because I know she admires and loves me deeply. I never take that for granted. I always try to make her world a little better each day. I should rewrite a few sentences. It’s 3:44 a.m. I should rest. I’ve had chest pain since the evening.

_

Thank you for being my best friend and a wonderful wife. 

A marriage without friendship cannot last long. Ours may not be the kind of passionate love that many dream of, but being with you has made me a man I can truly be proud of.

Thank you, my dearest darling, for seven beautiful years together. 

Shanghai, China

22 October 2025

Do not waste your food. Finish it, even if it isn’t to your taste, as long as it can still nourish you. Be grateful for what is on your table, and teach your children to appreciate every meal. Behind every grain of rice and every slice of bread lies the unseen labour of countless hands especially the farmers who toil under the sun and rain so that we may eat. Even wealth cannot feed a hungry soul. Money is only paper when there is no food to buy. I have been following the situation in Haiti, a country now facing one of its worst hunger crises in recent years. 

As of 2024, the IPC reports that more than half the population around 5.7 million people are experiencing acute food insecurity, especially in remote areas. It was during a similar crisis in 2008 that the world first learned of galette de boue; mud cookies made from dirt, salt, oil, and water, left to dry under the merciless sun. These were never food by choice, but by desperation, a fragile means to quiet the pain of hunger when real food was out of reach. Let us be thankful that our children do not have to endure such heartbreak just to silence their hunger.

Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam

October 21, 2025

"Abang busy?"

"Angkat tiang. Kenapa, Ra?"

"Abang angkat?"

"Ha. Kandar atas bahu"

"Mesin rosak ke?"

"Tak"

"Astu?"

"Mengenang zaman silam. Ara okey? Kembar buat hal? Stres?"

"Alaaa lupa. Kita nak cakap something"

"Dah makan?"

"Noodle hihi"

"Kejab lagi abang call. Membanting tulang, mengerah keringat"

"Hati-hati tau"

"Ha"

Panggilan telefon

20/10

"Nampakkkkk hahahahaha"

"Suka dia"

"Ada laki lain cakap. Tak payah corner baring, corner menirap"

"Abang jugak cakap tak semua"

"Laki jenis oportunis. Dah tahu tunang orang, yang tu jugak nak try. Macam tak ada perempuan lain. Yang perempuan pun dah tahu ada tunang, layan jugak. Laki biasa la, lagi hak orang lagi nak tunjuk effort. Dah perempuan pun mengaku sendiri non stop kejar I, cara dia jaga I, talking about our future. Ayat masa depan memang kena jual. Perempuan dengar terus cair. Orang lama kata, perempuan kena pilih lelaki yang sayang dia lebih, jangan pilih laki yang dia sayang. Dia sedar je hati dah pilih nombor dua tapi nak cari alasan"

"Tersakiti ke bang hihihi?"

"Kita manusia. Ada hari reda, ada hari marah, ada hari sedih. Tapi berbalik kepada Qadrullahi wa ma sha’a fa‘ala. It is the decree of Allah, and He does whatever He wills. *Ada cinta yang Tuhan cipta hanya untuk menguji keikhlasan, sejauh mana hati mampu mencintai tanpa memiliki. Kerana tak semua kisah ditulis untuk berakhir dengan pertemuan, ada yang ditulis untuk kita belajar tentang reda, tentang menerima takdir"

"Betul sangat"

"Kelebihan yang Allah bagi pada perempuan, dia boleh belajar mencintai. Dari tak sayang, tengok effort lama-lama jadi sayang. Laki tak macam tu. Dari awal tak sayang, sampai ke sudah tak sayang"

"Astu sayang kita tak?"

"I sayang you sorang je. Sumpah! I tak ada yang lain. Hati I untuk you je hahahahahahahaha"

"Lucu hihihi"

"Tak boleh la abang. Geli hahahaha"

_

"Most women only leave when they already have someone else. They don’t walk away empty-handed. There’s usually someone waiting for them in the chat. Loyalty is tested the moment a better option appears"

"No, abang. You're biased. Not everyone leaves because someone else is waiting. Sometimes, it’s because something inside them has died"

"Okay. You win"

_

"Kesian jadi laki. Ramai perempuan pilih sebab effort. Bermaksud, kalau bukan sebab effort tak di pilih. Laki buta-buta percaya perempuan sayang dia padahal dalam hati sayang orang lain"

"Kita rasa sama aje"

"Lain. Kalau sayang, tak tengok effort bagai terima je sebab sayang. Kalau terima sebab effort, sayang sebab effort bukan sebab betul sayang"

"Complicated betul minda dia"

"Ha mengata abang"

Panggilan telefon

20/10

Redefining Adolescence: Neurodevelopmental and Sociological Evidence for Extending the Framework to Ages 10–24

Abstract

Background: The World Health Organization’s conventional definition of adolescence (10–19 years) was established for demographic convenience rather than developmental accuracy. Recent neuroimaging and sociological evidence demonstrate that maturation continues into the mid-twenties, prompting calls to expand the framework to ages 10–24.

Methods: This narrative review integrates longitudinal MRI and diffusion-tensor-imaging data on cortical maturation with demographic datasets from the OECD and Pew Research Center examining delayed social transitions.

Findings: Neurodevelopmental studies reveal continued synaptic pruning, myelination, and prefrontal–limbic refinement up to approximately age 25. These biological processes parallel sociological shifts, including later completion of education, postponed financial independence, and delayed family formation. Collectively, they depict adolescence as a gradual continuum rather than a fixed stage.

Interpretation: Re-conceptualising adolescence as spanning ages 10–24 aligns biological and social evidence. Policy frameworks reflecting this continuum could strengthen the delivery of mental-health, sexual-health, and preventive services, improving developmental continuity worldwide.

1. Background

The notion of adolescence as the decade between childhood and adulthood has long served administrative convenience more than scientific precision. The World Health Organization (WHO) has retained the 10–19 year definition for more than four decades, guiding global surveillance and service planning. Yet research in developmental neuroscience, psychiatry, and sociology increasingly shows that both biological maturation and social transitions extend well beyond the teenage years.

Adolescence today unfolds within markedly different temporal and social conditions from those of the mid-twentieth century. Education lasts longer, entry into stable employment is delayed, and the formation of long-term partnerships or parenthood now typically occurs several years later. Parallel to these social shifts, neuroimaging demonstrates protracted brain maturation into the third decade of life. These converging patterns have prompted several scholars, notably Sawyer et al. (2018), to propose redefining adolescence as ages 10–24. The argument rests on evidence that biological, psychological, and social transitions are synchronised over a longer trajectory than previously recognised.

2. Neurodevelopment Beyond the Teenage Years

2.1 Cortical maturation and white-matter growth

Magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) studies show that grey-matter volume follows a non-linear trajectory: it peaks in mid-adolescence and declines through synaptic pruning, a process refining neural efficiency ¹. White-matter volume, reflecting myelination, increases into the mid-twenties ². Diffusion-tensor-imaging (DTI) confirms progressive enhancement of axonal integrity and connectivity between frontal and subcortical regions ³. This continued myelination strengthens cognitive control and emotional regulation.

The prefrontal cortex, essential for planning, impulse inhibition, and risk evaluation, matures last among cortical regions ² ³. Functional MRI data reveal that connectivity between prefrontal and limbic circuits continues to strengthen into the mid-twenties, improving coordination between affective drives and executive oversight ⁴. Behaviourally, these neural refinements correspond with declines in impulsivity, greater foresight, and improved socio-emotional judgment.

2.2 Risk behaviour and cognitive control

Adolescent risk-taking has often been attributed to an imbalance between subcortical reward circuits and the gradually maturing prefrontal control network ⁵. During late adolescence and early adulthood, integration between these systems enhances the capacity to evaluate long-term outcomes. Steinberg’s social-neuroscience model situates this process as the biological substrate for the gradual shift from sensation seeking to self-regulation ⁴.

Importantly, these trajectories differ slightly between sexes: females typically achieve peak cortical thickness earlier, while males show prolonged white-matter growth ⁶. Such variation underscores that “completion” of adolescence cannot be demarcated by a single chronological age.

2.3 Developmental plasticity and mental health

Prolonged cortical plasticity into the twenties offers both opportunity and vulnerability. This period coincides with the peak onset of mental disorders, including depression and anxiety, suggesting a developmental window when targeted intervention could yield lifelong benefit. Recognising the neurobiological continuity of adolescence therefore supports extending youth mental-health services beyond age 19.

3. Sociological Transitions and the Concept of Emerging Adulthood

3.1 Delayed life milestones

Socio-economic transformations have reconfigured the pathway from dependence to adulthood. OECD data show the median age of completing full-time education has risen by three to five years since the 1970s ⁷. Pew Research (2021) reports that more young adults in their early twenties now live with parents than at any point since the 1940s ⁸. The median age for first marriage and first childbirth has similarly increased across both high- and middle-income nations.

These demographic shifts do not necessarily reflect immaturity or regression. Rather, they correspond to prolonged investment in education, unstable labour markets, and redefined markers of success. The developmental timetable of modern societies has expanded, mirroring the biological evidence of extended maturation.

3.2 Emerging adulthood as a developmental phase

Arnett’s theory of “emerging adulthood” (2000) frames the late-teens through twenties as a distinct stage characterised by identity exploration, self-focus, and transitional instability ⁹. Individuals in this phase oscillate between dependence and autonomy while experimenting with roles, relationships, and worldviews. Such psychosocial fluidity aligns with the brain’s continued capacity for learning and adaptation.

This re-conceptualisation dissolves the rigid binary between adolescence and adulthood. Instead of an abrupt threshold, maturation is understood as a continuum shaped by economic structures, cultural expectations, and neurobiological timing. Recognising this continuum has practical implications: education systems, health services, and legal frameworks must adapt to developmental diversity rather than enforce uniform age boundaries.

3.3 Global considerations

While much evidence derives from high-income contexts, parallel trends emerge globally. Middle-income nations such as Malaysia, Brazil, and South Africa report similar delays in educational completion and labour-market entry. Cultural differences influence the visibility of these shifts, but the direction remains consistent: young people worldwide transition to adult roles later than previous generations. This universality strengthens the case for adopting a broader developmental framework.

4. Policy and Definition Debate

4.1 Institutional inertia and definitional lag

In The Lancet Child & Adolescent Health, Sawyer et al. (2018) formally proposed redefining adolescence as 10–24 years. The WHO, however, has yet to revise its global classification, citing the importance of comparability with long-term epidemiological datasets. Such institutional inertia reflects a tension between scientific accuracy and administrative continuity. Redefining age categories affects health-service planning, legal thresholds, and global reporting systems—domains that change slowly even in the face of compelling evidence.

4.2 National adaptations

Several national bodies have nonetheless adopted the expanded framework. The Royal College of Paediatrics and Child Health (UK) now defines adolescent health as extending to age 24, while Australia and New Zealand have integrated similar parameters into youth-health policy. These precedents illustrate that policy modernisation is feasible and beneficial when evidence supports it.

4.3 Health-system implications

Reframing adolescence has direct consequences for service design. Extending adolescent clinics and preventive programmes into the mid-twenties could enhance continuity for conditions such as eating disorders, substance use, and sexual-health risk. Transitional services bridging paediatric and adult care—particularly in mental health—would better match developmental needs.

In education and employment, recognising prolonged cognitive and psychosocial development could justify reforms in tertiary student support, vocational training, and youth employment policies. Legal systems might also reconsider age-related thresholds, aligning responsibility with developmental maturity rather than rigid chronology.

5. Integrating Biological and Social Evidence

The convergence of neurodevelopmental and sociological data presents a cohesive model of extended adolescence. Neural circuits governing executive control mature gradually, providing the substrate for complex decision-making and social responsibility. Simultaneously, societal structures delay the acquisition of stable adult roles. The overlap of these trajectories produces a prolonged transition period—an adaptive, not pathological, feature of modern development.

From a biopsychosocial standpoint, adolescence represents an evolving interplay between organism and environment. Biological maturation enables increasing autonomy, while sociocultural context determines when and how that autonomy is expressed. Thus, the endpoint of adolescence cannot be universally fixed; it is contingent on both neural development and societal opportunity.

6. Limitations of Current Evidence

The majority of neuroimaging studies originate from Western, high-income settings with small, homogeneous samples. Cross-cultural variability in diet, education, and social expectation may influence developmental timing. Similarly, demographic datasets often lack representation from low-income countries, where early marriage and labour participation may compress the adolescent period.

Longitudinal, cross-cultural imaging cohorts are needed to determine whether extended maturation is universal or context-specific. Furthermore, most studies employ cross-sectional designs, limiting causal inference. Integrating biological and sociological data within the same populations would refine the empirical basis for global policy change.

7. Implications for Global Health Policy

Re-conceptualising adolescence as 10–24 years carries major implications for health governance and resource allocation. Adolescent-specific strategies should encompass mental-health promotion, sexual-reproductive education, and substance-use prevention throughout the extended period of neuroplasticity.

WHO and UNICEF frameworks could adopt a tiered model distinguishing early adolescence (10–14), middle adolescence (15–19), and late adolescence/emerging adulthood (20–24). Such granularity would preserve comparability with existing categories while acknowledging developmental reality.

Public-health messaging and educational curricula could emphasise gradual responsibility acquisition rather than abrupt transition. In lower-income regions, policies must also account for socioeconomic constraints that force premature adult roles, ensuring that redefinition does not marginalise those unable to prolong education or dependence.

8. Conceptual Model

A unified developmental model can be visualised as overlapping biological and sociological timelines. Neural maturation (synaptic pruning, myelination, executive-function growth) extends approximately from ages 10 to 25. Sociological milestones (education completion, financial independence, partnership formation) have similarly shifted upward. The intersection of these trajectories defines a contemporary “extended adolescence,” bridging traditional adolescence and early adulthood.

Such a diagram would depict two ascending curves—one biological, one sociological—converging in the mid-twenties, symbolising synchrony between brain development and life-course progression.

9. Conclusion

Adolescence is no longer confined to the teenage years. Neuroimaging and sociological evidence converge to depict a prolonged, dynamic period of growth extending into the mid-twenties. Recognising this continuum offers a more accurate foundation for policy, education, and health service delivery.

Extending the definition of adolescence to ages 10–24 harmonises scientific understanding with lived reality. It situates young people within a developmental spectrum that acknowledges ongoing neural refinement, psychosocial exploration, and societal transformation. Updating global frameworks to reflect this evidence would enhance health equity, promote developmental continuity, and ensure that the science of human maturation informs—not follows—policy.

References

Giedd JN, Blumenthal J, Jeffries NO et al. Brain development during childhood and adolescence: a longitudinal MRI study. Nat Neurosci 1999; 2(10):861–863.

Paus T. Growth of white matter in the adolescent brain: myelin or axon? Horm Behav 2013; 63(3):198–207.

Kolk SM, Rakic P. Development of prefrontal cortical connectivity and function: implications for adolescent behaviour. Front Hum Neurosci 2022; 16:841416.

Steinberg L. A social neuroscience perspective on adolescent risk-taking. Dev Rev 2010; 28(1):78–106.

Romer D, Reyna VF. Risk taking in adolescence: a social neuroscience perspective. Dev Rev 2017; 44:1–44.

Lenroot RK, Giedd JN. Sex differences in the adolescent brain. Brain Cogn 2010; 72(1):46–55.

OECD. Society at a Glance 2022: OECD Social Indicators. Paris: OECD Publishing; 2022.

Pew Research Center. Young Adults Living with Parents Reached Record Levels in 2021. Washington DC: Pew; 2021.

Arnett JJ. Emerging adulthood: a theory of development from the late teens through the twenties. Am Psychol 2000; 55(5):469–480.

Sawyer SM, Azzopardi PS, Wickremarathne D, Patton GC. The age of adolescence. Lancet Child Adolesc Health 2018; 2(3):223–228.

[Note: This isn’t the final version yet. The content has been carefully fact-checked, but it will go through a few more rounds of review and verification before submission. Some details may still be updated as new data or official guidelines become available]

"Abang kalau boleh nak guna bata merah tapi memang tak boleh kalau low cost. Bata kita boleh beli, nak plaster makan modal. Kerja renyah. Lambat"

"Banyak aje kita tengok rumah mahal guna bata putih. Banyak dia orang untung"

"Rumah 400 ribu, modal kadang tak sampai 100 ribu pun. Barang tak beli hardware. Order kilang. Contoh kita beli hardware simen 1 paket RM 23, kilang tolak tak sampai RM 10. Tu baru simen. Batu cari kuari. Beli besi dekat kilang tak habis guna. Kadang untung satu projek boleh tapau barang modal untuk next projek"

"Astu kalau untung kenapa jual mahal? Harga acam tak masuk akal"

"Yela, dah harga tanah mahal. Kos bina rumah tak mahal mana. Tanah sekaki dah berapa sekarang. Pecah lot individu nak bayar dekat Pejabat Tanah pun dah puluh ribu belum campur birokrasi nak cop itu ini. Masa kita buat pelan, sebelum summit kena cop. Cop tu harga RM 3,500, swasta. Naik office kena tendang, ulang buat lagi, cop lagi. Keluar lagi RM 3,500 sampai lulus. Tu baru satu cop. Hantar pulak pelan rumah, sekali buat dalam RM 700 harga zaman dulu. Majlis tolak, buat lagi. Kadang buat pelan sampai puluh ribu"

"Ha'aaaaaa la. Tak terfikir"

"Kalau syarikat kecik, Melayu pulak mana nak dapat harga murah macam Cina dapat. Bukan senang nak dapat line, deal direct kilang. Nak dapat simen bawah RM 10 kena baling duit dekat kilang RM 650,000 macam cagaran"

"La ye ke?"

"Ha. Bukan senang nak dapat. Kadang kena cari orang adjust. Tu kedai buku kesayangan Ara tu, kalau tak ada introducer jangan mimpi publisher senang-senang dapat masuk situ"

"Sama aje la"

"Standard je tu. Banyak company buat. Kita nak yang trusted. Tak nak deal dengan mana-mana orang yang kita tak kenal"

13/10

"Ni nota 25/4 hari tu. Abang kemas kini. Dari pukul orang, baik fikir benda lain"

"Still tak okey?"

"Belum tapi dah makan ubat. Light workout 15 minit lepas tu sambung balik. Tadi abang baca puisi"

"Best baca layout. Kita yang excited hihihi. Neurodivergent tu kita acam blur tak faham"

"Kalau budak autisme, ada sesetengah corak terutama jubin tak sesuai. Otak dia mudah trigger. Jadi kalau buat kita tanya dulu. Tapi ni untuk rumah persendirian. Kalau kita buat perumahan, kena lebih berhati-hati dalam pemilihan"

"Sampai situ abang fikir. Jauh nau"

"Tak la. Dekat je"

"Babtu ke rumah baru takde tiles?"

"Taklah. Tu developer nak untung lebih"

13/10

"Memang la dia nak beranak 7,8 orang. Dia tahu laki dia banyak duit"

"Acam tu aje teori abang"

"Yela. Mana ada perempuan nak dambakan diri pada laki miskin kecuali zaman Nabi. Nak kepit perempuan, poket kena kencang. Laki pun tahu perempuan nak dia sebab duit"

"Astu pelik anak tak percaya perempuan kan"

"Hahahahaha tu abang tak ajar"

Panggilan telefon

17/10/2025

"Dia 75, bini 30. Yang satu lagi 84 bini 34 kot"

"Ada anak?"

"Berderet"

"Tak geli ke ek?"

"Kalau boleh nak 18. Ketat lagi"

"Astaga. Badan dah bau tanah"

"Nafsu kuda hahahaha"

"Kuda tua buat apa. Lemah gemalai aje"

"Janji tangan boleh merayap merasai kenikmatan donia hahahahahaha"

"Eeeeeeee geli la"

Panggilan telefon

17/10/2025

"Nak bermadu dengan Kajang eh?"

"Tak nak"

"Habis tu tanya je"

"Tanya pun marah. Kenapa mara-mara kita"

"Melainkan Ara nak bermadu, soalan tu valid. Kalau tak, buang masa je tanya"

"Dah ada Kajang buat apa kita. Abang kan sayang Kajang"

"Tu kenapa tu?"

"Merajuk. Abang marah"

"Bila abang marah?"

"Suka marah kita"

"Bila pulak abang marah?"

"Marah kita aje. Nak kena lempar?"

"Amboi, ganas"

Oktober, 2025

Hai Min,

Aku di Singapura hingga esok. Kerja baik-baik saja. Di luar hujan renyai. Aku sedang menghirup kopi. Sekarang jam 1:50 pagi. Langit Singapura mendung —mungkin turut berduka tragedi demi tragedi yang berlaku di Malaysia sejak kebelakangan ini. Aku baru sahaja tahu tentang kejadian seorang pelajar perempuan maut di tikam di SMK Bandar Utama 4. Mangsa berusia 16 tahun manakala suspek berusia 14 tahun. Kata Ara, pelbagai versi cerita muncul, tetapi yang nyata - pihak polis menyangkal dakwaan tertuduh meluahkan perasaan kepada mangsa sehari sebelum kejadian. Pihak polis turut menjumpai nota tulisan tangan suspek — yang merupakan petikan kata-kata dari Death Note berbunyi "Soda boku ga kira da". Satu lagi Zero Day — sebuah filem berdasarkan kisah benar perancangan pembunuhan di sekolah oleh dua orang sahabat. Mereka merakam setiap aktiviti (baca: persiapan) sebelum pembunuhan di lakukan.

Belum reda kes kematian Zara Qairina (kebanyakan peguam cenderung mengatakan mangsa terjun sendiri walaupun pakar patologi tidak memberikan kata akhir berkaitan hal ini kerana menyerahkan kepada pihak mahkamah untuk membuat keputusan), muncul pula kes seorang pelajar perempuan bernama Nur Aisyah yang bersekolah di sebuah sekolah agama di masukkan ke Unit Rawatan Rapi akibat di buli. Pada tangannya tertulis "Go to hell". Buli bukanlah perkara baru. Sekarang menjadi headline kerana wujudnya media sosial. Sebelum kes bunuh, rakyat Malaysia digemparkan dengan kes rogol bergilir-gilir di sebuah sekolah di Melaka. Sudahlah dirogol, dirakam dan disebarkan pula. Sehari selepas itu, kes rogol statutori di Baling, Kedah — 4 orang suspek tetapi suka sama suka. Pihak sekolah memaklumkan kepada bapa pelajar bahawa video anaknya tanpa seurat benang telah bertebaran lalu beliau membuat laporan polis.

Ramai yang salahkan Menteri Pendidikan dan meminta beliau meletak jawatan walhal akar sebenar masalah adalah institusi kekeluargaan yang rapuh. Aku bukanlah mahir dalam mendidik, tetapi berbekalkan pengalaman, aku boleh simpulkan bahawa masalah akhlak anak-anak bermula di rumah sama ada kurangnya perhatian dan kasih sayang atau terlampau dimanjakan. Sesetengah ibu bapa pula bersifat snowflakes dan terlalu melindungi — jika anak mereka di tegur, mereka cepat melatah. Ibu bapa hari ini meletakkan beban mendidik di bahu para guru dan pihak sekolah, tetapi terlupa madrasah pertama anak-anak adalah di rumah. Aku melihat mereka tempang ilmu dan tercari-cari model keibubapaan yang ideal—sesuai digunapakai untuk mendidik anak-anak. Ada juga yang meniru panduan secara membabi-buta dari media sosial.  Sebenarnya, tidak ada satu model keibubapaan yang lengkap dan sempurna untuk semua orang. 

Anak-anak, seperti kata pepatah Melayu melentur buluh biarlah dari rebungnya.  Kokurikulum pra-sekolah di Jepun sangat menitikberatkan aspek adab, kebersihan dan perilaku dalam komuniti. Mereka di ajar tentang disiplin dan berakhlak mulia. Ini selaras dengan gagasan Syed Muhammad Naquib al-Attas dalam The Concept of Education in Islam yang menyimpulkan “The end of education in Islam is to produce a good man”. Pra-sekolah di China lebih kehadapan. Mereka mendidik anak-anak kecil berdikari dengan menerapkan kemahiran kendiri, vokasional serta memupuk minat dalam bidang STEM melalui eksperimen ringkas. Semasa aktiviti di jalankan, anak-anak ini belajar untuk berkerjasama, berkomunikasi dan menyelesaikan konflik sesama rakan sebaya. Begitu juga di Finland. Mereka banyak berinteraksi dengan alam dan belajar di luar bilik darjah. Persamaan antara ketiga-tiganya ialah murid tidak diasak menguasai kemahiran 3M terlalu awal.

Di negara maju, ibu bapa memberikan kepercayaan kepada pihak sekolah untuk mendidik anak-anak malah berganding bahu dengan pihak sekolah untuk membentuk persekitaran pembelajaran yang sihat. Suatu ketika dahulu, Malaysia juga begitu namun kini situasinya sudah banyak berubah. Ibu bapa sering menunding jari meletakkan beban kesalahan ke atas guru terhadap apa jua kesalahan. Terdapat banyak kes ibu bapa membuat aduan SISPAA ke atas guru-guru yang menegur atau mengambil tindakan ke atas pelajar — bahkan ada pengetua dipaksa memohon maaf di balai polis kerana mendenda pelajar. Terbaru, dua orang guru iaitu Choong Kean Beng dan Lau Teik Hwa di hadapkan ke Mahkamah Majistret Pulau Pinang atas pertuduhan merotan seorang pelajar sehingga menyebabkan kecederaan dan berdepan risiko penjara serta kehilangan pencen. Satu masa dahulu, masyarakat memandang tinggi profesion sebagai pendidik — sekarang tidak lagi. 

Salah satu sebabnya ialah kualiti guru-guru yang semakin merosot. Ramai memilih bidang ini bukan kerana minat, tetapi kerana kestabilan pekerjaan dan tangga gaji. Status guru mudah di lihat berdasarkan material terutamanya kereta yang mereka pandu — Honda —memandunya merupakan satu kebanggaan. Malaysia harus belajar memartabatkan kerjaya guru seperti di Norway. Di Norway, gaji guru merupakan antara yang paling tinggi dan dikelaskan sebagai kerjaya kelas pertama. Syarat kemasukkan  adalah sangat ketat dan kebanyakan guru memiliki ijazah sarjana atau doktor falsafah. Terdapat dua syarat untuk melahirkan sekolah terbaik iaitu — pertama, kualiti graduan pendidikan haruslah di kawal seperti di Norway dan kedua, silibus graduan perlu dikemaskini seiring perubahan zaman. Program seperti DPLI dan KPLI hendaklah di mansuhkan. Program inilah yang banyak merosakkan sistem pendidikan negara.

Program ini boleh di ibaratkan sebagai tiket pantas untuk graduan yang tidak mendapat pekerjaan selepas graduasi. Tidak sedikit guru yang di serap masuk melalui program DPLI dan KPLI. Lebih parah, sebelum kerajaan PH-BN memegang tampuk kuasa, terdapat satu sistem yang mendapat bantahan iaitu dasar yang membenarkan pemegang ijazah sarjana diserap menjadi guru tanpa menjalani latihan pedagogi. Guru-guru ini bukan sahaja tidak mahir malah mereka tidak minat mengajar! Dasar pendidikan kita sering berubah tanpa penelitian yang tuntas. Bayangkan betapa buruk natijah yang di hadapi oleh pelajar di sekolah apabila pihak yang membuat dasar tidak berfikir secara matang dalam mengetengahkan sesuatu dasar yang tidak diperhalusi sebaik mungkin. Tidak hairanlah pada hari ini kita melihat kelakuan guru-guru di sekolah sebahagiannya tidak mengambarkan peribadi seorang pendidik yang di pandang mulia. 

Tugas guru hanyalah di sekolah sementelahan pembentukan akhlak berlaku di rumah. Ibu bapa ialah cerminan pertama anak-anak. Ibu bapa adalah role model anak-anak yang pertama. Asuhlah mereka dengan kelembutan, sering memberi nasihat dan tunjuk ajar serta menunjukkan tauladan yang baik. Banyakkan berbual dan bermain dengan mereka berbanding leka menatal telefon bimbit. Ibu bapa harus meluangkan masa  berkualiti dengan anak-anak melalui makan bersama atau menonton cerita, ajarkan tentang tanggungjawab dan disiplin serta kaedah menghadapi tekanan, penolakan atau pergolakan secara berhemah dan matang. Gunakan rotan atau berikan amaran jika perlu. Mereka perlu tahu batas perbuatan mereka dan kesan buruknya kepada diri sendiri dan masyarakat sekeliling. Ibu bapalah harus memainkan peranan dalam membentuk peribadi dan tingkahlaku anak-anak. Apa yang di semai, itulah yang di tuai. 

Semoga Min baik-baik sahaja walau dimana pun berada…

Singapura,

18 Oktober 2025

When a woman can bear to wound her partner’s heart by texting another man, yet cannot bear to hurt that other man’s feelings for her partner’s sake, it cuts deeply. It feels like being struck over and over again; breaking something inside that will never quite heal. When she falls for someone new, it’s as if all you ever did for her fades from memory. For men, love runs differently. When we love sincerely, letting go isn’t simple. We choose to miss the woman we love because the ache of longing hurts less than losing her once more. And once someone walks away, trust never fully returns. Some part of you always fears she’ll do it again. You may leave someone you love. No one can hold you back. But if you do, leave kindly. Every heart deserves gentleness, every soul deserves dignity. In the end, people may forget your words and actions, but they will never forget how you made them feel.

_

The note I’ve kept for years; written, deleted, and rewritten countless times. I don’t like writing things like this, but deep down, I know I’m still hurt. I’m still angry at myself for feeling angry at her, when it wasn’t her fault for leaving me and choosing her own path, her own partner. Why is moving on so difficult? Is it because the love ran too deep or because of the regret I carry within myself?

Batu Ferringhi, Penang

October 15, 2025

Tinggal Sayang Tinggalah Pujaan

"Abang kemas bilik kita?"

"Ha"

"Maceh tau. Bersih, wangi, kemas. Kita masuk jab g cepah tak?"

"Dah tahu tanya lagi"

_

"Abang dah restock makanan. Air kotak, mineral, buah kering, coklat semua ada"

"Ice cream?"

"Tu belum. Ra, air kotak buang dalam tong sampah. Plastik jangan selit celah katil"

"Astu la kita lupa"

"Benda senam tu lepas guna letak balik dekat gym"

"Okey"

"Okey boleh percaya ke? Kang beli eskrim, pembalut taruh merata semut datang"

"Semut datang salah abang, abang kan manis"

"Dengar tak abang cakap? Air kotak letak dalam tong sampah"

"Astu belum minum cam mana nak letak?"

12/10

"Menung aje acam orang tua"

"Habis baca Plato, abang baca puisi"

"Puisi apa?"

"Tak ada apa"

"Tengok tu"

"Jom tengok laut lagi baik"

"Nak baca, please"

_

His friend: Do you still wait for her?

He: Every night.

His friend: But she chose someone else.

He:

I know that's why I don't wait for her return

I wait for the day,

my heart finally believes it.

Someone else lives in her heart.

~R

_

"Dah belas-belas-belas tahun, bang. Masih tak percaya?"

"Mula dah"

"Kita nak tahu. Jujur aje"

_

"Jom tidur, Ra. Abang ngantuk"

"Esok tau jawab"

"Malam ni pun boleh"

_

"Bahasa apa tu? Alaaa"

"Cari sampai dapat jawapan"

"Tak suka laa"

"Panjat cepat. Orang dah ngantuk ni"

"Abang alaaa apa"

"Apa?"

"Alaaa"

_

"Hati abang dekat mana? Kita cari tak jumpa mmm cedey"

"Ara cari dekat mana?"

"Abang sayang kita tak?"

"…………"

"Astu tak nak layan kita"

"…………"

"Susah ke nak percaya?"

"…………"

"Menyampah"

"Ra, abang dengar"

"Kenapa laki susah move on?"

"…………"

"Bang. Abaggggg"

"Tidur, Ra"

"Tak nak kawan abang"

"Abang, lempar ajelah robot ke luar. Tak faham bahasa"

"Sebab tu semua pakar AI laki hahahaha. Perempuan tak reti sabar"

"Thank you for persistently correcting me ehh melampau. Nak ambil laki kita ke apa"

"Don’t worry, I’m just diligent, not a homewrecker"

"Seriously?"

"Even if I wanted to, I’d apply properly, not steal in secret"

"Baik abang campak sebelum kita yang campak"

"Hahahahahaha"

"Kita serius"

"Abang beli mahal nak campak. Tengah ajar dia"

"Kita boleh tolong ajarkan. Jab kita tumbuk cili"

"Hahahahahahaha"

"Abang"

"Robot je ni"

"Acam ada perasaan aje. Seram aih"

Oktober, 2025

Jam 1 pagi. Selepas berbual di telefon, aku masuk bilik peribadi Ara — ruang kerja. Tentulah, seperti kebiasaannya, bilik tidak teratur — barang bersepah di sana sini. Bantal tidak bersusun, selimut tidak di lipat, katil tak di kemas. Di bawah katil, terdapat 3 botol air mineral dan beberapa air kotak kosong. Di celahan katil, aku jumpa plastik jajan dan coklat. Bersebelahan bantal, satu bundle kertas A4 yang belum di buka (jadikan bantal peluk agaknya). Fail, dokumen, buku, laporan, jurnal, monograf, stepler, pen berselerak di atas meja. Di atas lantai (nasiblah tak terpijak) ada laptop, Huawei Mate, phablet, dua peranti Samsung dan Nubia Z70S Ultra yang masih dalam kotak (agaknya dia belikan untuk aku sebab aku pernah tanya tentang brand Nubia). Okey sambung — 2 biji bola tenis (aku ajar dia buat refleksiologi tapak kaki guna bola tenis. Aku boleh bayangkan sambil menaip, mulut menguyah jajan, kaki gelek bola tenis, tangan capai botol air — She is multitasking at her very best!). Kalau tiba-tiba rasa nak masak kari ayam (kegemaran Umar), dia turun masak sekejab. Sementara tunggu didih, sambung buat kerja. Tu ha, plastik rempah atas meja. Berhampiran lampu meja ada dumbbell (janganlah tanya apa dumbbell buat dekat situ), novel Korea, perfume, facial masks (di bancuh dalam bekas. Dah kering pun). Bawah kerusi, selipar tinggal satu (mana sebelah lagi?). Bilik sudah bersih. Barang sudah tersusun. Cadar, selimut, sarung bantal sudah di tukar. Sudah mop, sudah lap, sudah vacuum. Esok, beli bunga letak atas meja. Sekian laporan dari bilik peribadi isteri. Bertemu lagi di episod akan datang. 

Oktober 9, 2025

Dancing with Ara in the kitchen after lunch. The headache has gone away, but the chest pain still lingers, though not too harshly.

It’s raining outside, just a light drizzle.

11/10

"Abang, mana baju?"

"Saja tak pakai"

"Tarik tuala"

"Memang tunggu. Cakap je, tarik la cepat. Tak sabar ni"

"Hihihihi mengada tau"

"Nak buat free show"

11/10

Dubai is home to more than 86,000 millionaires, 251 centimillionaires, and 23 billionaires. A remarkable concentration of wealth that reinforces its position as one of the world’s foremost centers of luxury, business, and global influence.

The trade war between the U.S. and China has made ETH, BTC, XRP, SOL, UNI, and SNX drop sharply.

11/10

"Ara okey? Emosi terganggu?"

"More than 50 rape cases are reported every day"

"Takkan nak tanya polis, tentera buat apa kan"

"Suruh report tapi case tak di bicarakan"

"How’s your mood? Stable or up and down? Berdepan benda macam ni lagi teruk dari tengok orang mati kena bom"

"I'm okay, abang"

11/10

Don't fridge your chocolate. If you must, wrap it tightly in plastic or an airtight container to keep moisture and odors out.

"Abang rindu Kajang senanya, kan?"

"Ha? Mana ada"

"Tolak macam mana pun tak pergi, abang. Penat aje"

"Apa?"

"Rindu abang tu"

"Memandai je la"

"Bang"

"………"

"Abang"

"Apa?"

"Untung kan…setia…"

"Siapa?"

"She's your home, kan abang? Babtu tak boleh tidur. Kita pernah baca somewhere"

"Apa Ara merepek ni?"

"Astu marah"

"Mana ada marah"

"She calls your name, and your heart says her name too"

"Abang sakit dada. Ara macam-macam"

"Nak baling kita tak larat kan hihihi"

"Ra"

"Sorry hihihi. Sini rindu sana. Sana rindu sini tak?"

"Dia ada suami. Tak adanya ingat abang. Sayang suami separuh mati tu"

"Astu abang yang sakit. Tahan marah astu rindu astu fikir"

"…………"

"Hati rindu astu mengaku aje"

"Ada satu puisi tu tulis 'My heart whispered her name, yet her ears belonged to someone else'. Penulis lupa"

"Kenapa buat kita sedih? Abang jahat la"

Panggilan telefon

9/10

"Tak valid dah soalan ada boyfriend ke tak ada boyfriend. Macamlah kalau ada orang tarik handbrake. Baling je pukat, kalau sangkut Alhamdulillah, tak sangkut baling lagi cari yang lain"

"Macam tu pulak"

"Yelah. Cuba je bukan rugi. Kalau dapat untung, tak dapat dah cuba"

"Tapi berbalik kepada hati kan, bang"

"Loyalty is tested when a better option comes. Abang bad mood. Jangan kacau sarang tebuan"

"Sampai hati tau nak sengat kita"

"Sepanjang Ara kerja dekat hospital, abang tak suka. Otak abang racing fikir macam-macam. Memang Ara dah terang pesakit semua perempuan bla bla bla tapi abang tak boleh fokus. Tulis surat dah 4 hari tak siap-siap"

"Faham, abang. Kita dah agak tapi sini kemudahan sangat terhad. Terpaksalah buat dekat hospital"

"Ara jaga diri. Abang ada meeting dengan client. Dada sakit tak tahu kenapa"

"Astu marah aje. Tarik nafas, relaks. Istighfar, sayang. Jangan marah-marah. Marah dari syaitan"

"Ara busy?"

"Kenapa?"

"Abang nak tidur. Teman kejab. Tiba-tiba mengantuk. Kalau ada kerja, off je telefon"

"10, 9, 8, 7"

"Ra…masa tak boleh undur eh?"

"Kalau boleh undur, abang nak buat apa?"

"Ajak Ara minum…masa dekat Kino…"

"Personally, kita rasa abang minta izin dengan Baba sangat gentleman. Kita baca mesej abang. Teratur aje ayat. Polite. Alaaa terbuka rahsia"

"Habis tu selalu cakap tak ajak keluar"

"Perempuan"

"Ara"

"Tidur, sayang"

"Ha. Okey"

Panggilan telefon

9/10

"Hari tu dah hantar, kan? Ni lain ke?"

"Asenya"

"Malas tengok"

"Abang nak kena goreng ke?"

"Yela kejab lagi tengok"

Panggilan telefon

5/10 

 "Kita boleh pilih jalan senang. Kita boleh pilih jalan susah. Jalan senang, kalau ada duit dalam bank, bawa keluar dulu. Kalau terus report, pergi JPN, duit akan masuk Amanah Raya. Banyak prosedur, membebankan, makan banyak tahun"

"Masalahnya adik-beradik tak setuju. Katanya risau ada yang songlap"

"Kalau harta bawah RM 2 juta, masuk Pusaka Kecil. Kalau lebih, lain prosedur. Orang Melayu ramai je harta RM 10 juta. Yang kecoh sangat, harta banyak mana tu?"

"RM 750k"

"Boleh settle melainkan kalau ada isu tanah yang tak setuju. Kalau sampai ke Pendaftar susah sikit. Tanah kongsi pun bukan nama tak ada dalam geran. Lot lidi lainlah, lawyer yang uruskan. Buat surat luar, sebab tu nama tak masuk geran. Tak buat depan Pentadbir"

Daddy: Baru handsome. Dah mandi, telor dah basuh

Adam: Adam mandi

Umar: 3 hari sekali

Daddy: Lepas main tak mandi. Dengan peluh, dengan busuk lepas tu masuk bilik, tidur. Mengadap Tuhan pun busuk. Kita ni sebagai hamba kena ada rasa malu nak mengadap Allah dalam keadaan badan berbau, tak mandi, berpeluh. Kalau jumpa manusia, baju iron. Jumpa Allah, bukan setakat iron, pakai haruman, gigi gosok, mulut jangan ada bau, baju bersih. Kita jumpa Allah waktu solat je. Allah ni istimewa, suka orang bersih, kan kebersihan separuh dari iman. Nabi suruh kita selalu bersugi. Boleh tak, kita, bila nak solat pakai pakaian yang terbaik yang kita ada? Kalau jumpa VIP boleh pakai baju mahal, fabrik terbaik, kenapa jumpa Allah tak pakai macam tu?

Adam: I’ll change my attitude. From now on, I’ll get clean before solat

Daddy: Good

"Abang tunggu luar pintu. Tak dengar bunyi air pun. Dia keluar, abang suruh mandi lagi sekali"

"Kita berleter dia chill aje gelak-gelak. Geram kita"

"Abang masuk bilik air tengok dia mandi. Lepas tu Ara tahu tak, dah habis mandi dia nak pakai balik boxer tu"

"Kita perasan aje takde boxer dia masa sidai. Kita pun buat-buat tanya boxer dah ambil belum dalam bakul. Dia buat-buat cari"

"Abang dah buang tadi. Subuh hari ni abang tunggu dia luar bilik air. Dua kali jugak. Abang ugut nak masuk baru nak mandi betul-betul"

"Rasain. Ibu cakap buat dunno. Mendapatlah"

Panggilan telefon

7/10

Foto: Pengguna Facebook

"Abang masuk IKEA pun tak pernah"

"Orang suka meetball dia. Ramai cakap sedap tapi kita tak pernah beli and dorang baru aje dapat halal certificate"

"Habis tu sebelum ni tak halal?"

"Abang Google sendiri"

"IKEA Malaysia mendapat pensijilan Halal dari Jabatan Kemajuan Islam Malaysia (JAKIM) untuk semua restoran, kafe dan bistro di seluruh negara pada 24 September 2025. Macam mana orang makan kalau baru dapat halal? Abang tak suka IKEA sebab isu lain"

"Pelangi?"

"Tak. Alam sekitar"

Panggilan telefon

9/10

"Lepas setahun abang cari akhirnya jumpa. Haa balik kita nari"

"Tak nak"

"Kenapa?"

"Abang sedar kan apa abang buat?"

"Menari tak ada kaitan dengan pukul orang. Ada perbezaan di situ"

"Tak kelakar, abang"

"Habis nak buat apa? Minta maaf? Abang tak buat salah"

"Abang buat apa hari ni?"

"Pukul orang"

"That wasn't the answer I expected"

"Abang ada sebab"

"Sebab apa?"

"Abang tengok pantai. Lepas tu nampak ada orang buli perempuan. Perempuan tu overweight tengah excecise. Abang buat tak nampak. Tapi…"

"Tapi?"

"30 minit abang tunggu dengan harapan hmm. Tu la harapan tinggal harapan. Abang sarung seluar, pakai mask menuju ke pantai"

"Astu?"

"Pukul je la nak tunggu apa lagi"

"No Q&A?"

"Nope. Lepas tu abang cakap, kalau abang nampak lagi dia buli perempuan ni, abang kerat telor dia. Merah padam muka terus dia blah"

"Astu puas hati?"

"Feel good"

"Mmmm"

"Orang tu dahlah stres berat badan pergi ejek pulak. Wrong time at the wrong place eh silap wrong place at the wrong time"

"Pasni tak boleh tengok pantai"

"Okey"

"Okey aje?"

"Dah bini cakap jangan"

"Abang, jangan pukul orang. Faham tak?"

"Ra, dia buli orang. Ingat tak ahli falsafah cakap the world has many bad people because good people stay silent when they see evil"

"That alone does not constitute lawful justification for your actions"

"Ha? Kejab. Sakit perut. Nak pergi toilet. Bye, Ra"

"Abang"

"Bye cepat. Orang sakit perut ni"

Panggilan telefon

8/10

"Jembalang mana entah call tak berhenti dekat 20 kali. Orang dah cakap lagi 2 hari tak faham-faham. Semalam angkat call terus kena maki"

"Tak menyempat acam pokok pinang nak hempap kepala"

"Marah abang lagi ke?"

"Kita tak marah abang mengamuk ri tu. Abang berhak marah. Kalau kita pun, kita marah. Siapa aje tak marah. Melampau k"

"Ye ke?"

"Kita marah abang pukul orang. Terdapat perbezaan di situ"

"Yelah tak buat dah"

Panggilan telefon

7/10

Daddy: Adam, semalam mandi?

Adam: Errrkkk

Daddy: Apa yang Adam takut sangat dengan air? Mandi kurang-kurang 3 kali sehari. Boxer tukar hari-hari. Rambut potong 2 kali sebulan. Tak mandi, tapi spray minyak wangi. Bau busuk jugak. Nak solat kena sentiasa bersih. Kita tak tahu kalau seluar kena air kencing. Mengadap Tuhan kena handsome. Dengan crush bukan main

Umar: He didn’t shower last night

Daddy: Umar janggut boleh simpan tapi kena rajin trim. Perempuan tak suka busuk

Umar: I’m not chasing girls. I live for the sake of Allah

Daddy: Nanti nak kawin jugak kan. Kena hidup dengan orang perempuan. Tuhan jadikan kita berpasang-pasangan

Umar: Maybe, but I’m good solo for now. Kids are expensive and peace is free

Advice to my sons

To My Sons, Umar and Adam

1. Rise Before Fajr

Wake before dawn, for the breath of the morning carries barakah. Let no one, not even your wife bear the duty of rousing you for prayer, sahur, or work. The first triumph of a man is mastery over his sleep.

2. Guard the Five Prayers in Jama‘ah

Establish the five prayers in congregation. The Messenger of Allah called us not merely to worship, but to stand shoulder to shoulder before our Creator. The man who guards his prayer guards the equilibrium of his life.

3. Share the Work of the Home

Learn to serve within your own house. You are not a king, and your wife is no slave. Greatness does not grow in idle hands. A wife seeks a partner she can depend on, not a child she must tend. Lighten her burdens, and her heart will remain your refuge.

4. Be Established Before Marriage

Before you seek a wife, establish yourself—in knowledge, craft, and livelihood. A woman’s respect for her husband is born of his steadiness. Society heeds the competent, not the unprepared, even when truth rests with the latter.

5. Marry a Woman of Akhlaq

Choose a woman whose beauty is rooted in her manners. Faces fade, but character endures. Her intellect and her piety will raise your children better than beauty ever could.

6. Love Wisely and Faithfully

Love deeply, yet keep a corner of your heart untouched, so that if love falters, you remain whole. When you marry, love the one you choose—for love survives not through perfection but through patience and devotion.

7. Heed Your Wife’s Counsel

Listen when your wife speaks. Wisdom is not the birthright of men alone. Many homes have been saved by a woman’s insight and many ruined when her counsel was dismissed.

8. Loyalty Is Proven by Temptation

True loyalty is not proclaimed—it is revealed when betrayal is possible. If someone chooses another, let them go. Do not compete for affection; true treasure cannot be stolen. Trust once broken becomes glass—it may shine again, but it will never be whole.

9. Master Your Desires

Lust consumes faster than fire. Guard your eyes, your time, and your solitude. One reckless moment can undo years of honour. The strongest man is he who conquers himself.

10. Discipline Your Body

Rule your appetites. Eat wholesome food and fast often. Strengthen your body; a frail form clouds the soul. Drink plain water—it clears the mind and steadies the nerves. Bathe often, trim your hair, and dress well; self-respect begins with order. Wear perfume, for pleasant fragrance softens the hearts of those around you.

11. Speak and Write with Clarity and Kindness

When you speak, speak gently; when you write, write properly and clearly, in full sentences. Words are mirrors of the mind — the clarity of your thought is seen in the order of your speech.

If you have nothing good to say, keep silent. Do not let your tongue wound others, for a careless word may cut deeper than a blade. The wise speak to build, not to break; and the most eloquent truth is sometimes silence.

Guard your speech as you guard your honour, for once released, words cannot be recalled. Remember: silence is not weakness — it is mastery over impulse, and often the highest form of wisdom.

12. Eat Together as a Family

Share your meals with those you love. The table binds hearts more firmly than speech. In the breaking of bread and the sharing of laughter, affection renews itself without words.

13. Respect the Elders

Honour the aged, regardless of their station. Never speak down to them, for they bear the weight of years you have yet to live. Listen to their stories; they are the roots of wisdom. One day you shall be the same for others.

14. Invest in Yourself

Never cease learning. Acquire the crafts that strengthen your independence—plumbing, carpentry, electrical work, roofing, painting, mechanics, coding, public speaking, and leadership. A degree may open a door, but mastery builds the house beyond it.

15. Read Endlessly

Feed your mind as you feed your body. Read philosophy, science, history, economics, and literature—but let the Qur’an be your constant companion. It polishes the intellect, awakens conscience, and humbles pride.

_

My dear sons,

When my voice is no longer among you, let these words be my echo. Be men of honour and mercy. Be gentle to your wives, just to your children, and humble before your Creator. Earn your living through what is halal, avoid the doubtful, and flee from the haram. Remember, hard work outlasts talent, and sincerity outshines praise. May your hands build what your hearts believe. May your names be spoken with kindness long after I am gone.

With love,

Daddy

Jeddah, Saudi Arabia

5 October, 2025