Pull yourself together

"Kak Zara tak nak. Dia cakap thanks"

"Hmm orang nak tolong pun tak nak. Tak nak sudah"

"Abang jangan la marah. Abang puasa tak?"

"Puasa"

"Maybe she doesn't want to bug us"

"Bukan suruh bayar pun"

"Relaks abang"

"Tak nak dah. Lantak dia. Abang tak nak ambil tahu dah"

"Abang jangan macam ni. Dia bukan tak hargai. Maybe she wants to do her own thing. With a newborn baby, a husband stuck in bed, and another kid to handle, it's no walk in the park for her"

"Sombong sangat"

"Tak baik abang cakap macam tu"

"Memang betul. Tak sedar laki dah separuh mayat. Orang nak tolong jual mahal. Abang tolong sebab Ocio je. Kalau tak, abang pun tak sibuk. Ara jangan contact dah. Biar nak jadi apa. Block je nombor dia"

"What's wrong with you? You're all worked up"

"She pissed me off"

"Cuba faham kedudukan Kak Zara. Dia tak nak susahkan abang"

"Bullshit"

"Pull yourself together, sayang. Asyik marah je"

"Bila marah?"

"Abang tengah buat apa sekarang? Menari?"

"Dengan Ara sekali abang baling ke luar nanti. Nak?"

"Tak nak"

"Habis tu?"

"Dah la. Kalau rindu jangan lepas dekat orang lain"

"Mana ada"

"Come clean with me"

"Jangan mulakan"

"Abang tu tiba naik hantu"

"Abang nak tolong"

"Biar dia. Abang paksa nanti dia gila meroyan macam mana? Think before you speak. Abang bukan budak. Berbulu semua dah"

"Apa dengan bulu sekali keluar"

"Ambil wuduk then solat. You should remain cool as a cucumber"

"Hmmm"

Sepi Seorang Perindu

Pindah

"Kena kemas barang sikit-sikit. Dah bulan 10"

"Ara suka sini"

"Abang pun"

"Kita stay nak?"

"Kerja abang dah siap"

"Abang nak pindah mana?"

"Tak tahu lagi. Mungkin Doha. LA ke"

"Tak dapat la abang tengok anak itik berenang"

"Psiko abang eh"

"Tak. Rindu la tak dapat minum madu asli. Sayur tak fresh. Kolam ikan tak ada. Ara suka kebun sayur abang"

"Kita cuba tempat baru"

"Mmm rindu sunrise 5.30 pagi. Kopi sedap. Jiran baik"

"Ada je jawapan"

"Ara tak sangka stay sini. Seumur hidup tak terfikir. Jepun best, Dubai best, India best tapi sini paling best. Semalam Ara call Bonda. Ara cakap hati Ara bahagia tapi kalau abang nak pindah, Ara ikut je"

"Tak nak pergi big cities?"

"geleng*

"Okey. Nanti abang fikir"

Home

Kain buruk

"Abang okey tak?"

"Okey"

"Senyap je"

"Teringat budak perempuan yang kutip baju orang buang. Setengah tu dah jadi kain buruk"

"Dia orang happy sangat dapat baju baru"

"Abang pernah ambil baju, seluar yang dah jadi kain buruk. Basuh bersih-bersih, pakai. Abang tak rasa malu pun. Tak pernah rasa hina. Orang lain pijak-pijak, kita pakai dekat badan"

Luka

Ada luka yang tak pernah sembuh. 

— Sinaganaga

Tibet

Hilang

Sudah hilangkah tentang kita dari hatimu? 

(Tenggelamnya Kapal van der Wijck)

Israel

Singa

"You're not asking for my help, but I want to help you. I can't sleep when a group of people make fun of my husband. It drives me mad"

"Okey, okey. Jangan marah. Apa yang Ara nak abang buat sekarang?"

"Ara dah jawabkan. Abang forward pada lawyer abang. Dia tahu apa nak buat"

"Okay. Thanks for having my back"

"Ara bukan nak sibuk hal kerja abang"

"Dah. Abang tak nak gaduh"

"Okey"

"Dah forward"

"Tunggu nasib dia"

"Nasib dia la"

"Siapa suruh dia kacau laki singa"

"Garangnya"

Human

Umar: Bosanlah daddy. Kenapa kita tak keluar?

Daddy: Minggu ni rehat

Kakak: Why daddy? Why?

Daddy: Rehatkan diri

Kakak: Bosannya lahai

Umar: Kan Kakak. Bosannnn

Adam: Daddy, can I watch TV?

Daddy: No

Umar: Kita nak buat apa?

Kakak: Don’t know

Daddy: Pergilah baca buku ke, tidur ke, masak ke, gosip ke

Umar: Okey kita on komputer

Daddy: Tak boleh, Pergi berenang ke, kemas ke apa-apa je

Kakak: #stuckathome

Umar: #doomsday!

Daddy: Tak mati kalau tak keluar. Pergi jadi human. Tanam bunga ke apa ke

Kakak: We are human

Daddy: Hidup cara manusia. Borak, tengok langit, cakap dengan pokok. Benda manusia buat. Tinggal gajet, tinggal TV, tinggal laptop, tab, cellphone, iPad apa semua. Bukan lama. Satu hari

Umar: Tapi daddy, kita orang guna gajet 2 jam sehari je

Daddy: Bersyukurlah. Ehsan dapat 2 jam. Ikutkan daddy nak bagi sejam

Adam: Adam nak main chess. Siapa nak lawan dengan Adam?

Umar: Siapa kalah belanja nigirizushi. On?

Adam: On!

21 September 2020

Tokyo, Jepun

*Terjumpa perbualan lama di draf

Manusia ke syaitan?

"How was your day?"

"Okey. Dapat surat saman 25 juta"

"Dari siapa?"

"Startup company"

"Firm mana?"

"******"

"That is one of the best law firms in Selangor. The fees are quite high. Banyak duit startup"

"Tu la"

"Abang langgar kontrak ke?"

"Tak"

"Then?"

"Marah abang tak invest. Abang memang nak invest. Dah bawa bank draf pun tapi perangai kurang ajar sangat"

"Abang tak cerita pun"

"Malas"

"What'd they do to you, sayang?"

…

"Wanna me to handle this case for you?"

"It's okay. I got this"

"You sure?"

"Yep. Thanks for askin'"

"Wanna get some payback?"

"Tak payahlah"

"Abang lembut sangat sebab tu kena pijak"

"Buat apa nak layan. Tak sama level. Buang masa je macam cerita burung kakak tua dengan helang"

"Kita yang panas masalahnya"

"Laa"

"Siapa je tak marah"

"Tu malas cerita"

"Dah la kurang ajar, saman orang pulak. Tu manusia ke syaitan?"

I've seen sadness in your eyes

"I overheard your conversation with the kids"

"Which one?"

"About your time in the orphanage—sharing rooms, food, and clothes"

"Oh"

"You never told me"

"I told no one"

"Betul cakap Umar. Abang nampak enjoy, happy bila cerita.Tak sangka..."

"Dalam hidup, kita kena pandai sembunyikan kesedihan kita, struggle kita. Orang tak boleh tahu apa yang kita lalui. Kadang orang gunakan untuk attack kita. Some hide pain in their eyes, others in their smile"

"I've seen sadness in your eyes"

"Abang tak suka cerita benda sedih. Tak nak orang kesian"

"You've been through a lot of pain"

"Yeah, I have"

…

"Out of all the pain and sadness I've faced, losing someone I loved hurts the most..."

Money talks

"When you become a billionaire, people will respect you. They don't care who you are, where you're from, your level of education, or who your parents are. Actually, they don't respect you; they respect your money. Your money speaks loudly."

August 27, 2023

San Juan del Sur, Nicaragua

Every delay has its blessing

"Dia yang tak nak anak bukan bini dia tak boleh beranak"

"Mana abang tahu?"

"Abang pun macam tu dulu. Abang takut bini abang lebihkan anak, abaikan abang. Biasa dah ada anak, isteri banyak masa dengan anak kurang dengan suami"

"Oo sebab tu abang suka curi Ara dari anak-anak kan hihi"

"Ada lelaki nak isteri dia je. Ramai macam tu cuma malu kalau tak ada anak. Nanti orang tanya"

"Oo"

"Pasal tu abang nak gap 2,3 tahun sebelum ada anak tapi"

"Ara nak anak cepat hihi"

"4 tahun Allah bagi abang masa dengan Ara. 4 tahun Allah uji Ara dapat lambat anak. Sebenarnya bukan lambat. Belum tiba masa"

"Patutlah abang nampak cool je"

"Ara sabar 4 tahun. 4 sekaligus dapat. The power of patience. Every delay has its blessing"

"Abang kan nak anak kembar"

"Yelah. Tak nak Ara sakit banyak kali"

"Tapi Ara nak sakit berkali-kali hihihi"

"Eh"

"Abang ayah yang baik. Abang kena la ada ramai anak untuk pembangunan ummah"

"Pembangunan ummah tu"

"Hihihi"

"Alhamdulillah cukup dah buat masa ni"

"Ala"

"Eh dia"

"Tambah la"

"Abang dah berumur. Tak sesuai dah"

"Datuk K chill je. Angkasawan negara tu tua banyak dari abang steady terima anak baru"

"Ara nak berapa?"

"Nam belas pun kita oleh"

"Nak buat quartet 4 by 4 eh"

"Oleh tak?"

"Tak"

"Ala"

"Abang tak nak masuk labour room dah"

"Abang tak payah masuk. Tunggu luar aje"

"Senang je cakap"

"Senang la. Cakap je hihi"

San Juan del Sur, Nicaragua

26.08.2023, 3.45 petang

Saturdate

Sailing in San Juan del Sur, Nicaragua.

Masa lalu

Daddy: Cuba hargai ada bilik. Bukan semua orang ada bilik sendiri. Masa daddy kecil dulu, daddy kongsi bilik dengan Pak Long Ocio, Uncle Poci, Pakcik Ary, Uncle Pet, Uncle Am

Adam: Ramainya daddy

Daddy: Tahu pun. Daddy tak pernah ada bilik sendiri. Dekat asrama pun kongsi. Dekat kolej pun sama. Beruntung la orang ada bilik sendiri

Umar: Daddy tak ada privacy?

Daddy: Orang nak jaga pun dah kira bersyukur

Umar: Allahu

Daddy: Daddy dulu semua berkongsi. Makan berkongsi. Kalau ada abang tak habis makan, daddy ambil nasi dalam pinggan dia habiskan. Baju pun sama. Bila abang yang dah besar tak muat, daddy pakai. Kalau orang sedekah baju, dapat yang baru suka sangat. Hargai apa yang kita ada. Bukan semua orang ada apa yang kita ada

Huda: Sedihnya

The books my wife currently reads

Before the Coffee Gets Cold Series by Toshikazu Kawaguchi

Before the Coffee Gets Cold (2019)

Tales from the Cafe (2020)

Before Your Memory Fades (2022)

Before We Say Goodbye (2023)

Tolong rasa

"Abang"

"Tolong rasa. Okey tak?"

"Okey"

"Tak rasa pun lagi"

"Sedap"

"Rasa la dulu"

"Sedap sangat"

*rangkul* "Tak rasa dah sedap"

"Abang sedap hihihi"

"Tu abang. Ni kari"

"Dua-dua sedap"

"Nak makan?"

"Makan mee ke abang?"

"Galok eh galok"

23.08.2023

My heart melts away

I went horseback riding with Ara this morning. She looks so beautiful, and when she smiles, my heart melts away.

…

"Let's go Jessica. Kita kalahkan Cik Puan Ara"

"Amboi. Sedap nama kuda dia"

"Hehe"

Eye contact and a heartbeat. That's how it all began

"I've been there before. I know how it feels. I still remember when the doctor said I didn't have any chance to recover. The tumor had spread too fast, and I almost gave up. I even thought about mercy killing. I couldn't walk, and my eyes went blurry. I started learning Braille. I lost my health, my company almost went bankrupt, and I lost her. She left me for someone else. Cancer didn't kill me, but losing her plunged my whole world into darkness"

"You must be living in sorrow"

"Yep. It cuts me deeply. You know, while I'm struggling to gain health back, she enjoy her new life with somebody else. They talk about future life and buying house together"

"It must be a real gut-punch"

"I fought hard. I want my life back. I still hope she texts me every morning, saying hi like nothing happened between us, but I know that isn't going to happen. Her heart belongs to someone else"

"Where did they first cross paths?"

"They met in the hospital when he was admitted for a knee injury. I still remember her words when she fell for him for the first time"

"What did she say?'

"I've known him for a day, but it feels like a year". It's not her fault. She never meant for it to happen. Love just came out of nowhere, at some random time and place"

"Mmm…"

"Ever since he entered her life, she's been a whole different person. No more soft talk, just harsh words. She's always in a bad mood and gets angry easily over small things"

"When you got someone new, you start seeing all the flaws in the old ones"

"She was loyal to me, but I didn't value her. It's not her fault at all. She asked me to win her heart back, but I refused. It's pointless because I know she didn't love me anymore"

"Your heart is as tough as nails"

"She left me, and that was the best decision she ever made. It was truly a brave and difficult choice in her life, and I know she has no regrets"

15.08.2023

Tazkirah

Subuh, Maghrib dan Isyak berjemaah di masjid bersama Baba. Bawa juga Umar dan Adam. Alhamdulillah dapat dengar tazkirah.

Sri Hartamas, KL

16.7.2023, 4.40 pagi

Semut

"Ara pergi rehat. Abang jaga kembar"

"Semalam abang bawa baby semua main atas rumput kan?"

"Ha"

"Abang lupa ye atas tanah ada semut. Kalau semut masuk telinga anak macam mana?"

"Lupa pulak"

"Nasib tak gigit"

"Sorry. Abang nak bagi kembar rasa main atas rumput lagi best dari karpet"

"It's okay, sayang"

"Boleh tak main dengan kembar hari ni?"

"Boleh"

"Jom-jom kita main"

"Dia pun jadi budak sama"

"Waktu abang kecil, abang tak ada ayah nak main dengan abang. Abang tak nak anak abang membesar macam abang. Abang membesar dekat rumah keluarga angkat, tak dapat sepenuh perhatian macam orang ada keluarga sendiri. Abang tak ada role model nak ikut. Abang dah biasa sendiri. Ara ada keluarga, Ara takkan faham. Sorry, kalau Ara rasa abang tak jadi ayah yang baik pada anak-anak kita. Tegur kalau abang silap. Abang memang tak pedulikan orang lain selain diri sendiri sebab abang membesar macam tu. Memanglah ada keluarga angkat tapi tak sama"

"Abang dah buat yang terbaik untuk anak kita"

18 08.2023

Garang

"Jangan la garang"
"Dah ngaji salah"
"Takut la. Nak ngajar ke nak makan orang"
"Baca la betul-betul. Sebut salah. Kan baris atas"
"Ngaji dengan Baba tak teruk macam ni"
"Anak manja. Nasib pandai masak ikut Google rumah tak pandai kemas pun"
"Apa kena-mengenaaaa"

Berat

"Ara, jangan la kacau. Abang nak tidur"

"Hihihi"

"Jangan la main jambang abang"

"Hihihi"

"Puas hati?"

"Ala tak bernafas kita"

"Duduk diam. Abang nak tidur"

"Berat mata memandang, berat lagi bahu yang memikul"

"Biar"

Nak ais krim

"Abang, bangun"

"Tidur"

"Tak nak"

"Tidur abang kata"

"Tak nak"

"Tidur la"

"Tak nak. Abang bangun la"

"Nak apa?"

"Ice cream"

"Ha?"

"Yang abang beli petang. Perisa hazelnut"

"Oo hahahaha ingat apa"

"Haa abang fikir apa?"

"Eee Ara ni. Tidur la. Esok je makan ais krim. Macam tak ada hari esok"

"Abang yang fikir lain, salahkan kita"

"Tidur, tidur"

"Nak ais krim"

"Ambil la dekat bawah"

"Teman la. Takut"

"Haish"

"Jangan la tengok kita macam tu. Kita minta ais krim je bukan minta gelang mas. Ais krim pun ais krim dalam peti bukan ais krim ab..."

"Haip!"

"Hihi"

"Tak boleh tunggu subuh?"

"Tak. Teringin"

"Hmm...jom turun"

"Hihihi"

It's about helping people

Daddy: Kakak betul nak jadi doktor?

Huda: Yes

Daddy: Sebab?

Huda: I hope to become like Mama. She has a genuinely pure heart

Daddy: Pure heart tak cukup. Kena dedikasi. Nak belajar 5 tahun. Setengah uni 6 tahun. Sanggup?

Huda: Mama sanggup

Daddy: Tak boleh nak banding macam tu. Mama lain. Kakak lain. Dah habis fikir dah?

Huda: Yes

Daddy: Tak nak ubah?

Huda: I really want to become a doctor, but I understand if it's not possible

Daddy: Daddy tak suka tapi daddy tak boleh selfish. Kakak pun ada hak untuk tentukan jalan yang Kakak nak pilih

Huda: Thanks daddy!

Daddy: Jangan lukis kaki orang bentuk belalai gajah dah

Huda: I'm skilled at drawing

Daddy: Dah jadi specialist, daddy invest buat hospital lawa-lawa

Huda: Medicine isn't about profit. It's about helping people

Daddy: Situ tempat paling banyak crooks buat duit

……

"Memang dia kena jadi doktor ke? Banyak je lagi benda boleh buat"

"She looks happy"

"Hmm"

"Abang, anak kita dah besar. She's not a child anymore"

"Tahu"

"Apa yang abang fikir?"

"Tak ada apa"

"Tengok tu"

"Sekejab je anak dengan kita. Ada depan mata kita"

"Betul abang"

"Habis belajar, kerja, kawin. Tak duduk dah dengan kita"

"Haah"

"Macam ni mak ayah rasa masa lepaskan anak-anak. Anak berontak nak pergi jauh, mak ayah risau"

"Sekarang kita pula rasa apa yang orang tua kita pernah rasa"

"Cepatnya masa berlalu"

"Sangat cepat"

16.7.2023

What's inside the box?

Daddy: Nah, baca. Simpan baik-baik

Huda: *What's inside the box, daddy?

Daddy: Open it up

Huda: Thanks daddy!

Daddy: Good luck, and may all your wishes come true

Huda: Mama punya?

Daddy: Sekarang Kakak punya. Lama daddy simpan

Huda: Oh

Daddy: *senyum*

Huda: Perhaps it's time to let it go

Daddy: Haih baru nampak bentuk bilik

Huda: I'm swamped

Daddy: Ni kalau kawin tak tahu rumah macam mana. Nasib la. Orang ingat lawa semua teratur. Yang dalam rumah je tahu

Huda: Ibu!

Daddy: Seminggu ni setiap hari tangkap gambar. Daddy nak tengok

Huda. Ala

Daddy: Tak nak tangkap tak apa. Daddy suruh Umar

Huda: Okey, okey

Daddy: Cantik, lawa, bilik bersepah pulak

Huda: Daddy, cut it out!

*Name tag

Stethoscope

The Canon of Medicine by Ibn Sina

Have sweet dreams

Adam: So much fun!

Umar: Jangan happy sangat. Nanti menangis

Adam: Babang macam babah-babah

Daddy: Jom-jom masuk tidur

Umar: Semoga Allah swt selalu pelihara daddy

Daddy: Terima kasih Umar. Semoga Allah selalu pelihara kita semua

Huda: Amin. Good night, daddy

Daddy: Good night, girl

Adam: Good night, daddy

Daddy, Have sweet dreams, boy

Umar: Assalamualaikum, daddy

Daddy: Waalaikumussalam

Regular Sunday

On a regular Sunday, I make sure to do a quick check of my kids' bedrooms and bathrooms to see if they're clean and on point. It's like a mini inspection to make sure everything's in good shape. When I checked out my son's room, I was like, "Nice! It's all clean and organized, no worries there." But then, I walked into my daughter's room and I was like, "Whoa, it's a total disaster zone!" Clothes, books, undies, and trash were scattered everywhere. I couldn't help but wonder what the heck my daughter had been doing in there besides sleeping, doing homework, and reading. It was like a tornado hit her room!

Tak nak kongsi

"Did you have a good day today?"

"Yes, it was a joyful day"

"You are so amazing"

"I know. I am the rarest species in the world"

"How rare are you?"

"Once you love me, you can't stop thinking about me, and if you hate me, you can't forget me"

"I'm speechless"

"I'm kind of a dangerous man. Once you get hooked on me, you will be forever tied to me"

"Tak mau versi abang serius"

"Laa boleh pulak macam tu"

"Kita tak suka abang serius. Abang nampak mmm bengis. Suara lain. Semua lain"

"Mana ada serius"

"Eleh. Kita suka abang macam ni je hihihi. Boleh buli, manja, ngada, gedik"

"Ada satu lagi. Merengek"

"Takkk. Takkk. Mana ada eh"

"Hahaha"

"Kita tak nak kongsi abang dengan orang lain"

"Ara pemilik hati abang"

"How sweet"

Daddy, please don't die

Adam: Kesian mereka kehilangan daddy

Umar: It must be traumatic and shocking

Huda: I can't imagine losing our daddy just like that

Daddy: I'm still here

Adam: Daddy, please don't die

Umar: Life goes on

Daddy: With or without our dearest one

Huda: It's excruciating

Daddy: It is

Quality time

Today, I granted a two-day leave to all the workers at my home. I provided them with some money to enjoy their weekend with their loved ones.

I plan to spend quality time at home with my family, getting down to some cleaning tasks and preparing for a barbecue tonight.

Hujung minggu

Daddy: Kita kemas rumah hari ni. Umar mesin rumput, Kakak ranting dahan, Adam bersih longkang

Umar: Gardener tak buat kerja ke daddy?

Daddy: They do it because it's their gig. We do it because it's our crib

Huda: Alright daddy

Umar: Habis la tangan Babang

Daddy: Tangan laki kena la kasar sikit

Huda: Cuak muka dia daddy

Umar: Sekarang serumah dengan daddy, ada gardener. Esok dah kawin kalau tak mampu, kena buat sendiri. Takkan nak suruh isteri buat. Daddy nak sediakan calon suami terbaik untuk menantu daddy

Umar: Kejab daddy. Sakit perut

Daddy: Kalau nak kiamat pun mesin rumput dulu

Huda: Relax adik, breathe

Daddy: Adam bawa keluar water jet, paip, berus, sabun, ubat jentik-jentik. Pakai hand gloves and rubber boots

Adam: Okey daddy!

Daddy: Kakak jangan lupa pakai safety goggles

Huda: Okey!

Daddy: Umar pakai apa nak pakai janji rumput potong

Umar: Kejamnya dunia

Daddy: Mesin rumput je pun

Adam: Babang sapu losyen

Huda: Kakak nak sikit

Daddy: Dah habis pasal losyen boleh mula kerja. Daddy nak sedut madu. Apa-apa cari daddy dekat belakang

Umar: Duhai apakah dugaan (menyanyi)

Daddy: Ya Rabbi. Pergi mesin sekarang sebelum daddy naik angin

First thing first

Daddy: What is the first thing you do as soon as you wake up?

Umar: Say Alhamdulillah

Huda: Check my charger plug

Adam: Run to the toilet to pee

Daddy: Hahaha

Sakit perut

"Abang sakit perut"

"Tu la buat dosa dengan perempuan"

"Eh"

"Hihihihi"

Cogitare

Whom do you think of before falling asleep at night, and who is the first person you think of after waking up every morning?

First things first

What is the first thing you do as soon as you wake up?

Drinking a glass of hot water.

Isi hati

"Betul ke apa abang cakap?"

"Apa?"

"Serius la abang tak menyesal"

"Menyesal apa?"

"Pasal pergi mampus tu"

"Kenapa?"

"Abang tak menyesal? Langsung?"

"Tak nak cakap hal tu dah"

"Ara yang terfikir-fikir"

"Ara sendiri la fikir. Buat apa tanya abang"

"Keras betul hati abang, kan"

"Ada la rasa menyesal sikit tapi lama-lama tak menyesal pun ada. Entahlah. She has pushed me to my limit. I can no longer tolerate her actions. I have already apologized for my words"

"Abang cakap macam robot je"

"Habis tu nak cakap macam mana?"

"You handle every situation like you're running a business, right?

"Ye kot. Kadang sedih pun ada. Kadang tak rasa menyesal pun ada. Sebab marah sangat. Sampai kadang dah mati rasa. Malas nak fikir. Fikir pun tak ke mana"

"Ara tak percaya abang tak menyesal langsung masalahnya"

"Kenapa tak percaya?"

"Abang malu nak mengaku, betul tak?"

"Gigih nak dapat jawapan"

"Mesti la"

"Nanti abang analisis diri abang"

"Lepas tu bagitahu kita eh"

"Malas abang"

"Pada pendapat Ara, abang menyesal. Abang buat banyak benda untuk Ara tapi In reality, abang nak tebus masa lalu abang yang abang tak dapat buat dengan dia, betul tak?"

"Pendapat Ara mana abang tahu. Buat salah, tak buat salah. Buat dia kata sebab orang lain. Tak buat kata tak ada perasaan. Ara sebenarnya nak apa?"

"Nak tahu isi hati abang"

"Mana boleh tahu"

"That's why Ara tak percaya apa abang cakap. Abang suka berselindung. Hati lain, mulut lain"

"Tapi orang cakap, apa yang ada di hati, itu yang terucap di bibir"

"Nak lawan falsafah pula"

"Hal abang biar abang simpan. Ara tak perlu tahu. Tak perlu cungkil. Bukan dapat apa pun"

"Ala"

"Malam Jumaat kita sembang benda lain la"

"Tak nak"

"Tak nak sudah"

Fetch kids from school

Huda: Hi daddy!

Daddy: Hi, girl! How was school today?

Huda: Okay

Daddy: Siapa tu?

Huda: Trance

Daddy: Boyfriend?

Huda: Tak

Daddy: Dah kena friendzone?

Huda: Yup

Daddy: Laa. Handsome pun kena friendzone

Huda: On your left is the football captain

Daddy: Tu boyfriend Kakak?

Kakak: Nope

Daddy: Dah tu tunjuk dekat daddy buat apa. Buang karen je

Huda: Just up for conversation

.

Umar: Daddy, sorry lambat

Daddy: Date dulu?

Umar: Tak

Daddy: Sap kok dulu?

Umar: Tak

Daddy: Mana satu makwe Umar?

Umar: No girlfriend, no heartbreak

Daddy: Steady! Give me five!

.

Daddy: What's up, boy?

Adam: Great, daddy!

Daddy: How's your day?

Adam: Never better than today

Daddy: What did you learn today?

Adam: Glow in the dark

Daddy: Wow! Show me your drawing when we arrive, okay?

Adam: Okay, daddy

Galok

"Abang nak pergi masjid"

"Pergi solat kan bukan pergi kawin"

"Sikit hari lagi Lily dapat adik kembar lain ibu rasanya hahaha"

"Cuba kalau berani"

"Jangan marah. Habis puasa hehehe"

"Galok"

At this stage of life

At this stage of life, I've come to realize how incredible you are as a person. Your unwavering love for me is truly remarkable. Coming from a respectable family background, while I had no knowledge of my own family or ancestry before meeting them, you embraced me wholeheartedly. Even during our most heated arguments, you have never spoken a negative word about my origins. Thank you for respecting me.

Throughout my entire life, you have been more than just a friend to me. You have been my family, my love, and the very core of my being. It's not often that women are willing to embrace a man with an uncertain origin, but you have loved me unconditionally. You have accepted me for who I am, and I am immensely grateful for the abundant affection and care you shower upon me. Thank you for being everything to me.

xoxo

Stalker

"Ara tak payahlah marah. Benda biasa. Biar je la dia stalk bukan dia buat apa pun"

"Ex dia dah kawin. Dia pun dah kawin. Stalk tak ada faedah"

"Ara rasa dia tak move on ke?"

"Ye la. Kalau dah move on buat apa stalk"

"Mana Ara tahu dia tak move on? Mandai je. Jangan kita nilai benda kita tak tahu"

"Bistu abang sokong la tindakan dia tu?"

"Dia nak tahu perkembangan ex dia je. Orang tak stalk sebab rindu. Asal usul Mark cipta Facebook pun sebab nak stalk makwe yang dia minat, kan?"

"Entah"

"Bukan ke dunia sekarang semua orang kaki stalk?"

"Abang stalk siapa?"

"Mana ada siapa. Nak stalk dekat mana sosmed pun tak ada"

"Bistu tadi cakap semua orang stalk"

"Ara stalk siapa?"

"I'm not a stalker because I leave comments or click the like button. There's a big distinction between the two."

"Amboi. Nak menang juga"

"Mesti ah"

"Padahal marah tak ada siapa stalk dia hahahahahaha"

"Eeee" *pap pap pap*

"Ala cian dia hahaha"

Semua salah lelaki

"Abang baca apa tu?"

"What was the most painful thing someone said to you?"

"So, apa dia?"

"Rahsia. Mana boleh tahu"

"Ala nak tahu"

"Tak boleh. Lepas tu abang creat satu soalan"

"Apa?"

"What is the most hurtful thing you have ever said to someone?"

"And the answer is?"

"Pergi mampus dengan cinta kita"

"Apa abang cakap macam tu? Abang sedar tak apa abang cakap?"

"Dah abang tengah marah"

"Abang tahu marah abang je. Marah orang abang tak tahu. Sampai hati kan abang cakap macam tu"

"Abang bukan cakap dekat Ara"

"Abang tak fikir ke sebelum cakap?"

"Abang tengah marah"

"Abang tahu tak, apa abang cakap tu buat orang sedih sangat? Abang fikir tak sebelum cakap ke abang main cakap je?"

"Dah marah"

"You wrecked her heart. Abang tahu tak? Bodohlah dia kalau tak tinggalkan abang. Kalau Ara dekat tempat dia, I'll do the same"

"Hmm"

"No apology can mend the deep wounds she carries. She bestowed her trust upon you, placing her hopes and dreams in your hands. Yet, you betrayed her. Abang kecewakan dia"

"Ara tak tahu apa dia cakap dekat abang. Lagi pedih"

"Dia perempuan la abang. She wanted to stay with you no matter what. What did you do to make her stay? Nothing. You just let her go"

"Hmm..."

"Do you have any regrets about what you said to her?"

"No"

"Really?"

"Dia dah ada orang lain masa tu"

"Apa dia cakap tak penting. Perempuan akan cakap semua benda masa marah. Abang tu lelaki. Abang yang kena pertahankan dia. Dia sayangkan abang. Kalau tak sayang, she wasn't gonna stick around with you for long. Pergi cari perempuan yang sanggup. Abang takkan jumpa"

"Tahu"

"Ego tinggi"

"Masa abang cakap dia dah ada laki lain. It will not affect her much"

"Mana abang tahu? Abang dah tanya dia?"

"Yang Ara marah abang  kenapa?"

"Ara tak sangka abang cakap macam tu"

"Abang tengah marah. Macam Ara tak tahu kalau abang marah macam mana"

"Nampak tak, marah abang buat abang hilang orang yang abang sayang. Abang tak rasa menyesal pun masalahnya.

"Puas dah bahan abang?"

"Bersambung esok"

"Perempuan tak pernah salah"

"Haah"

"Perempuan yang curang, lelaki yang salah"

"Curang mesti ada sebab. Salah lelaki tak jaga perempuan. Kalau di jaga, dia tak curang"

"Dalam dunia ni semua salah lelaki?"

"Of course"

"Gila"

"Lelaki yang selalu buat perempuan jadi gila"

"Ye la. Ara menang"

"Hihihihi"

12:02 am

What is the most hurtful thing you have ever said to someone?

"Pergi mampus dengan cinta kita"

12:01 am

I stumbled upon a random question online:

Has someone ever said something that really hurt you?

"Kalau abang sayang sayang, lepaskan sayang...”

Mandi bunga

"Lena tidur?"
"Lena"
"Rasa fresh sikit?""
"Haah"
"Mandi dulu. Abang dah sediakan jac. Mandi bunga"
"Amboi"
"Kembalikan aura"
"Thanks baby"
"Sini satu kali"
"Tak mau situ"
"Nak mana?"
"Ada la hihihi"
"Hahahaha"
"Suko"
"Mandi sayang. Kalau nak abang teman pun boleh"
"Hehehe jange"

980

Every day, I purchasing books from various corners of the world. Today, I finally have some free time to unbox all the books I've accumulated over the past two months. It's quite a staggering number—I managed to fill my bookshelf with a total of 980 new books!

Over the years, book prices have soared. I've noticed a significant increase in prices. Some books now cost a fortune, and acquiring them feels like sacrificing a limb or two. Regrettably, buying books has now become a luxury that only the affluent can afford.

Rejuvenating day

Ara didn't do anything today. She's absolutely drained. In spite of having two babysitters to support her, she still tended to the needs of the babies. Moreover, she persisted in cooking for both me and the children, despite the presence of a hired chef. On top of that, she successfully managed all the household chores, despite the fact that I employed two maids.

Get some good rest, Ara. You truly deserve it. May you have a peaceful and rejuvenating day of relaxation.

Daddy day care

I want to go horseback riding with Ara, but she told me to rest after biking 180 kilometers yesterday. So, I'm going to take care of the babies and organize my books in the library instead. Ara is taking it easy today. She might work on her academic journal, read a Japanese novel, or watch a K-drama.

Urat

"Hai sayang"

"Hi hero"

"Terus hilang penat hehe"

"I'm worried about you. Lamanya kayuh"

"Berhenti solat. Angin kuat hari ni"

"Call tak angkat"

"Sorry, bateri habis. Lain kali abang bawa power bank"

"Kejab tau nak snap gambar"

"Gambar apa?"

"Urat tangan"

"Pantang nampak urat"

"Hihihi"

5.40 am

I'm gearing up for a 180 km bicycle ride this morning.

Quote of the day

The world when he hurts you, a single person can make you happy. But when the same person will hurt you someday, the whole world wouldn't be able to make you happy.

(Unknown)

My morning therapy

Happy fifth anniversary

I acknowledge that I have a tendency to not remember all the details in our relationship, and sometimes I end up celebrating important occasions late. I understand that this may make it seem like I don't care, but the truth is that I do care. This year, I am committed to showing you how much I value and care about you and our marriage. I want to improve myself and become a better partner to you.

Living with you over the past five years has had a profound impact on me. My life has become much smoother, my business has experienced incredible growth, and my happiness has reached unprecedented levels. The presence of our quadruplet twins has brought immeasurable joy to my life. I am truly grateful for everything you have done. Without you, I would not have achieved the success and happiness I have today.

Happy fifth anniversary, my love.

Yours forever,

Sugar baby

Playa Estrella, Bocas del Toro, Panama

13.08.2023, 3.45 am

Simple notes to my kids

Daddy desires to gather cherished memories with each and every one of you. Time seems to pass swiftly, and daddy hasn't always had the opportunity to spend ample time with all of you. Someday, when daddy grows older, we can reminisce about our joyful moments together and find solace in the resulting smiles. These memories hold immense value and are meant to be cherished in our hearts.

Spinning

"You good?"

"No. I'm fucking spinning"

"Where were you staying? I can give you a ride"

"Not too far from here"

"Alright, take it easy. Watch your step"

"Who you be?"

"I was out jogging and I saw you puking"

"Oh, word"

"You throwin' a rager?"

"Yeah, yeah"

…

"Here we are"

"Come on in"

"Thank you. I should prolly leave now. Take care"

"What's your handle?"

"Nobody"

"See you later, alligator"

"Okay, bye"

Bocas del Toro, Panama

12.08.2023, 4.15 am

Grateful

Time passes by so quickly. It feels like just yesterday when I was in the delivery room, supporting my wife as she gave birth to our quadruplet twins. And now, within a year, they have reached the incredible milestones of crawling and even starting to stand up. I am truly grateful to Ara for bringing these adorable little ones into our lives. They have brought an immense amount of joy and happiness to our family.

Pelik

"Kenapa abang macam pelik?"

"Apa yang pelik? Biasa je"

"Pelik sangat"

"Pelik-pelik je la Ara ni"

"Abang yang pelik"

"Pelik apa? Cuba cakap"

"Entah tapi pelik la abang sekarang"

"I'm over the moon"

"Sebab?"

"Tak ada sebab"

"Mmm bertambah kita pelik"

"Tak habis lagi dengan pelik dia"

"Ye la abang tu pelik"

"Esok pakai lawa-lawa. Abang nak bawa Ara dinner tepi laut"

"Sempena anniversary kita kan?"

"Tak. Kan lambat lagi"

"Bistu buat apa kita datang sini?"

"Saja"

"Abang jangan la pelik sangat"

"Takut abang mati ke apa ni?"

"Ye la. Abang pelik je"

"Pelik lagi. Tak ada apa la"

"Betul?"

"Betul"

"Sumpah?"

"Ye"

"Sumpah la"

"Ye"

"Cakap sumpah"

"Wallahi"

*peluk* "……"

"Laa menangis pulak"

"………"

"Dah eh"

"Okey"

Haram yang sedap

"Aku nak ambil Ocio datang sini. Ko nak datang tak?"

"No, thanks"

"Dah jemput tak nak. Tak jemput bising"

"Gua dekat Korea bro"

"Buat apa?"

"Hidung"

"Serius la"

"Yes bro"

"Jangan cakap buat plastic surgery"

"Yes bro"

"Lemak dah sedut?"

"Done"

"Kening bentuk"

"Done"

"Pipi?"

"Every month susuk eh botox"

"Amboi. Tak kira halal haram dah"

"Godaan dunia"

"Dah haram buat apa buat"

"Haram yang sedap"

"Hmm"

"Sebelum mati tobat ah"

"Kira dah macho habis la"

"Nope. Ko lagi handsome"

"Okey. Tu je aku nak dengar hahaha"

"Setan"

"Jangan buat la woi. Mati nanti susahkan aku jugak"

"Chillax ah"

"Tadi cakap pasal susuk. Ko pakai ke?"

"Ko rasa?"

"Betul-betul la"

"Yes bro"

"Buat dekat mana?"

"PM tepi kikiki"

Selalu lupa

"Jangan la tengok Ara macam tu"

"Apa?"

"Jangan la"

"Siapa tengok dia"

"Bistu tengok apa? Dinding?"

"Aah"

"Bakpo?"

"Dah kata jangan tengok"

"Koya"

"Cepat masa sekarang. Tiba dah bulan 9. Baru rasa masuk tahun baru dah nak Januari"

"Dunia dah tua"

"Anniversary kita pergi Panama nak?"

"Tak payahlah bang"

"Pulak"

"Kenapa ingat. Selalu lupa"

"Ingat pun salah"

"Tak, ni bukan diri abang. Selalu abang lupa"

"Ara tak nak abang ingat?"

"Aah"

"Sebab boleh merajuk, marah-marah abang kan"

"Aah"

"Pelik-pelik je"

"Abang yang pelik. Tiber ingat semua"

"Orang perempuan pantang laki tak ingat tarikh"

"Abang ada semua tak penting"

"Hari ni je cakap macam tu. Esok lusa cerita lain. Merajuk siap nak balik KL"

"Bilaaaa"

Mengancam

"Abang"

"Lawa Ara hari ni. Wangi pulak tu"

"Mesti la. Tunggu husband balik"

"Mengancam hahaha"

"Rimau tergugat ke hihi"

"Tergugat semua hahahaha"

"Do you miss me?"

"Yep"

"How much?"

"As much as the star in the sky"

"I see"

"5 minutes"

"Sure"

"Alaa siapa pula menangis tu. Daddy nak pinjam Ibu 5 minit pun tak boleh"

"Ala cian daddy"

Happy anniversary

Happy sixth anniversary to you and your partner! May your marriage be filled with happiness, blessings, success, and eternal joy. May your children grow up to be wonderful individuals whom you can proudly say were nurtured by your love. It brings me great joy to see you embracing life to the fullest, as you truly deserve it.

Past love,

Imran

Stockholm, Sweden

Aug 4th, 2023, 8.30 am

Sandwich

Sandwich terkenal sebagai sarapan pagi paling popular dalam kalangan warga kota New York. Terdapat pelbagai variasi mengikut pilihan pelanggan. Kesukaan saya, sandwich tuna bersama sayuran dan keju (tanpa telur) juga secawan kopi panas tanpa gula mahupun susu.

Jun 2023

New York, USA

Rindu

"Thank you for the wonderful night, my dear"

"I want to spend many more nights with you, my love"

.

Rindu.