"Tak nak tidur ke dia orang ni, Ara?"
"Anak abang, kan"
"Amboi senangnya jawapan"
"Astu abang baca buku cerita siap menjiwai watak anak segar mata"
"1,2,3 kambing biri-biri. Kambing menari, anak daddy main guli"
"Abang menyanyi anak yang gelak"
Saturday, May 18, 2024
Da da da
"Da da da"
"Cantik kan, bulan? Terang tapi kita boleh tengok dari jauh je. Tak boleh pegang"
"Da da da"
"Jom masuk. Malam dah. Budak-budak kena tidur. Daddy nak sambung kerja"
"Da da da"
"Di di di"
"Di"
"Pandai. Esok kita main lagi. Sini daddy dukung"
*lari*
"Laa nak pergi mana pulak"
Simple BBQ
"Cantiknyaaa"
"Cantik"
"Anything special?"
"Saja nak tengok bunga api"
"Pelik la abang ni. New Year tak nak tengok"
"Ni khas untuk Ara"
*senyum*
"Abang sayang Ara dunia akhirat…"
*sandar*
_
Watching fireworks with my wife and kids, we had a simple BBQ tonight. We saw bursts of light and colors, but with no sound as our animals are scared of the fireworks. It was a delightful night.
Friday, May 17, 2024
Perempuan
Daddy: Adam dengan Umar petang ni tolong daddy setup bunga api. Kita nak makan apa malam ni?
Adam: BBQ
Daddy: Lain?
Umar: Pizza
Daddy: Nak BBQ apa ayam tak perap
Adam: Ibu perap daging
Daddy: Umar nak pizza je?
Umar: Perempuan dalam rumah kita diet, daddy
Adam: Kenapa perempuan suka kurus?
Umar: Cantik
Daddy: Dah memang fitrah perempuan macam tu. Diet sepanjang tahun. Kurusnya tidak
Umar: Betul, daddy
Adam: Tapi Ibu kurus
Umar: Rumah kita gempa bumi kalau berat Ibu naik
Daddy: Amboi! Mengata tak ingat dunia
Adam: Perempuan sentiasa PMS, Babang
Daddy: Ni satu lagi. Terlebih memahami perempuan
Adam: Hehehe
Syak
"Betul-betul syak bini ada orang lain"
"Hmm...pernah kena tanya jugak...2 kali...sebelum bulan puasa dulu...tapi lepas tu takde tanya lagi dah... Hmm...sebab saya mula melayan lagu sambil buat kerja rumah...dulu kemas ke, melipat ke...diam aje...sekarang sambil dengar lagu...hmm...yang asyik sampai rumah lambat, lagi-lagi dari klinik yang macam sekangkang kera aje dari rumah, tak sampai 10min pun...hmm..."
Reality
I waited 7 years to get a chance to get to know her.
I waited another 6 years to get a chance to build a life with her.
I waited 9 years just to hear that she finally realizes she loves me deeply.
Why am I still waiting if she isn't meant for me?
I'm simply exhausted from hoping and waiting.
And reality is just too cruel sometimes…
May 15, 2024
Flower crown
"Darling, where did you get this flower crown?"
"Buat masa turun tengok madu"
"Cantik"
"Ara panggil abang apa tadi?"
"Darling"
"Ye sayang" *senyum*
"Eee geram!" *picit hidung*
Masuk gelanggang
"Ada ke tak hujan. Penat abang tunggu"
"Hihi abang yang hujan"
"Ara buat"
"Abang tu"
"Abang jahat eh haha"
"Mengada"
"Nak eskrim?"
"Tamau"
"Hazelnut ada abang beli"
"Dah kenyang"
"Kenyang makan abang, kan?"
"Eee abang ni. Perasan la"
"Ara tidur. Abang nak solat. Dada sakit sikit"
"Abang…"
"Hmm?"
"Terima kasih"
"Berpeluh. Hangat betul malam ni masuk gelanggang"
"Masammm"
Thursday, May 16, 2024
Singa garang
"Ara ada simpan fail Kajang?"
"Tak"
"Abang dah buang semua. Menyesal pulak"
"Cari apa?"
"Saja nak baca balik"
"She's in 1030?"
"No"
"Then?"
"Semak butiran"
"Penting?"
"Tak"
"Lain macam aje?"
"Rendang Sarawak apa jadi?"
"On the way Tolong potong"
"Nampak ni, meeting. Busy"
"Koya lalu"
"Tak puas la Subuh tadi. Kejab sangat"
"Abang, suara tu dah kenapa?"
"Garang betul singa ni. Nak kena makan eh"
"Saloh abe tok soh bleber"
"Apa salah abang. Tiba seru datang. Hujan la lambat sangat turun"
"Gi kijo nuh. Ore nok masok"
Why?
Why did we end up back together if we can't be together? Feeling guilty about our spouses, why did God bring us back like this? It's more painful than the nine years we spent apart.
13-04-2024
Let me eat you
"Ara…bangun…"
"Abang…"
"Bangun…hujan lebat…"
"Kain dah angkat"
"Kain abang pun dah terangkat hehe"
"Mengada"
"Haah"
"Come here"
"Meow!"
"Benda tu off. Abang jangan gatal nak rakam"
"Ye"
"Come and get me, sayang"
"Let me eat you"
Sepuluh tahun
"Kerja dah habis, sayang?"
"Dah"
"Can you get some sleep? For a whole week abang tidur sejam sehari"
"Okey"
"Abang tak nak makan?"
"Sakit perut"
"Tidur, sayang"
"Tak boleh tidur"
"Abang fikir apa?"
"Banyak benda"
"Esok fikir, boleh?"
"Bulan depan cukup 10 tahun. Sekejab je masa. Tapi abang bukan fikir hal tu. Masa abang nampak Ara, abang memang suka Ara. Masa kenal Ara, abang betul-betul suka Ara sebab Ara matang. Tapi sekarang jiwa abang tertekan…"
"Men cry for that one special lady; afterwards, their heart may resist such deep love again"
"Hmm…abang tak suka rasa macam tu…"
"Hati tak boleh paksa, kan abang?"
"Abang rasa berdosa dengan Ara…"
"Abang suami yang baik"
"Kalau satu hari nanti Ara penat dengan abang, emosi Ara dah penat, Ara cakap dengan abang. Jangan paksa diri. Abang tahu Ara penat…penat sangat kan dengan abang…sebab abang pun penat dengan diri abang…"
"I see you're really trying to love me more. It hurts to watch you pushing yourself so hard. Hang in there, okay, sayang?"
"Okey…"
_
Her lap is the most safest place in the world.
Wednesday, May 15, 2024
The saddest part
You know the saddest part about us is that every single time I tried explaining how I was feeling or what I was overthinking about, you just thought I was starting an argument. All I want is for you to understand how I was feeling.
Nov 24, 2023
The only one
I wanted to be the only one, but I didn't deserve that. No matter how painful it is, that's the fact I must face for my whole life. I cheer myself up in my own way, even if I wear tears as my smile.
25-03-2024
Time is limited
"Laki hantar jemput kalau kerja kat klinik sekarang..."
_
Time is limited, and it has become so constrained that one day we may surrender rather than continue.
Uncertainty defines life
It's not out of pity or because you begged me not to leave that I am replying or texting you. We have both been hurt in different ways. We each have our own regrets and wishes to turn back time, but we can't turn back time.
If I try to distance myself from you, I know I can't. Having you around brings me joy and so much pleasure. I feel that better days will come; tomorrow will bring something to me, even if it is uncertain. Uncertainty defines life.
You always have me, sayang. Do not cry and overthink. Every part of me loves every piece of you. You are everything I need, everything I desire, everything I want in this life. You're everything I've been looking for.
I may not be the best for you. I know you love him more, and that's fine with me. I have come to accept that fact. Just let me love you until the end of my life because loving you makes me happy and completes my world.
May 12, 2024
Keep going
"Ara dah makan?"
"Belum"
"Sorry pasal pagi tadi"
"It's okay"
"Ara nak makan apa?"
"Tak ada selera"
"Naik atas dah?"
"Ha'a"
"Hmm…okey"
_
"Ara, nak oat?"
"Tak nak"
"Nestum?"
"Tak nak"
"Abang buat burger, nak?"
"Double cheese, telur, ayam tau. Sos lebih, pedasss"
"Amboi macam order kedai"
"Pakcik, kita nak mandi"
"Air apa? Susu?"
"Abang ni kan. Susu la nestum la. Ingat kita kembar ke?"
"Okey, green tea"
"Tak nak"
"Habis tu?"
_
"Ara, ni burger dengan susu. Nanti makan"
"Abang ada kerja?"
"Tak"
"Teman Ara makan"
"Sure"
_
"Kenapa abang marah?"
"Something triggered me"
"Apa dia?"
"Tak ada apa"
"Tak nak cakap?"
"Tak penting pun"
_
"Abang tak tahu nak buat apa. I just want this pain to end"
"No matter how much it hurts, you have to keep going"
Tuesday, May 14, 2024
Menggelegak
"Sup sirip ikan yu, rumpai laut, daging salai, tuna. Suruh Kilet beli 15 biji kelapa. Abang nak pergi berenang 3 km. Balik abang nak makan. 45 minit lebih kurang. Kalau malas, abang berenang perlahan, sejam. Mood tak baik hari ni. Make sure dia masak sedap"
"Kelapa muda ke tua?"
"Yang muda tapi dah tua sikit. Tak nak isi lembut"
"Okey"
"Ara tak payah masuk dapur"
"Alright, abang"
_
"Abang dah pesan sup nak menggelegak atas api masa nak makan. Sup tu panas tapi tak mendidih. Rumpai terlebih masak. Daging kering. Abang dah pesan nak basah. Buang je la semua dalam tong sampah sebelum abang baling"
"Head upstairs. I'll make another meal for you"
"Ara nak buang ke nak abang baling semua tu?"
"Abang kenapa? Setan apa rasuk abang? Istighfar. Could you please calm down?"
"Hmm"
Heartache
"Sakit?"
"Sakit lagi hati"
"Heartache isn't an excuse to harm yourself"
"My bad..."
"Why you suddenly getting mad, sayang?"
"I don't know"
"Tiger, let it go. It's been 10 years. It's time to make peace with yourself"
"Ada kaca melekat?"
"Ada"
"Abang dah lepaskan hari pertama dia bagitahu dia ada orang lain…tak tahu kenapa sampai sekarang tak berjaya. Entah la. Letih dah abang pun"
"Maybe she can't let you go. She's holding onto you"
"Taklah……"
"If she really loves you, she has to let you have your own life just like you did ten years back"
"Kalau tak let go abang, takkan ada orang baru. Benda dah lama, Ara. Salah abang. Tak nak cakap hal ni dah"
"Abang nak makan?"
"Sakit perut"
Monday, May 13, 2024
Marah
"Abang tak okey. Otak fikir macam-macam"
"Tiger"
"Hmm"
"Jangan marah"
"Abang naik atas kejab"
"Jangan tumbuk dinding, please"
"Okey"
_
"Tengok tangan"
"Tak luka. Hentam punching bag"
"Tiger, look at me"
"……"
"Calm down. Kenapa abang marah sangat?"
"Mana ada marah"
"Mandi, okey? Relaks. Abang puasa, kan?"
"Hmmm"
Pindah
Daddy: Kita mungkin pindah tapi tak pasti dekat mana. Ibu dah setuju
Umar: Morocco, daddy
Adam: Spain!
Huda: New York, of course
Daddy: Ibu tak nak New York. Morocco jauh
Huda: Why don't we move to KL or Perlis? We can think about it later.
Umar: Perlis is so hot!
Adam: Totally!
Daddy: KL tak boleh
Huda: Why not, daddy?
Daddy: Kenapa nak balik KL?
Huda: Ibu can spend time with her family. You can go to work. I can go shopping!
Adam: Ibu can also work
Umar: I can get my moto license
Daddy: Next year baru kita pindah?
Huda: Daddy gonna have time to set up our new home, all thanks to me. I know I'm brilliant!
Daddy: Nanti daddy bincang dengan Ibu
_
"Don't think about me. Think about yourself first. Can you stay in KL? How's your mental health?"
"Hmm...boleh cuba"
"If you can't, don't push yourself, sayang"
"Sebenarnya, abang sayang jugak nak tinggal sini. Cuma tu la, nak pergi mana jauh tapi abang okey je. Bukan senang nak dapat tempat tinggal yang baik"
"Kalau abang suka, tak payah pindah"
Mei 4, 2024
Takkan hilang
"Ara jangan beli barang. Kita nak pindah. Dah boleh start kemas"
"Confirm pindah?"
"Haah"
"Abang kerja mana?"
"Brazil"
"Jauhnya"
"Ara nak transit KL sementara waktu?"
"Abang tu masalahnya"
"Abang tak nak balik KL tapi Ara ada keluarga"
"Ara okey je"
"Baru sebut dah sedih. Bengang pun ada…hmm…tak nak la. Takut abang buat benda bukan-bukan…"
"Jangan fikir, bang. Abang banyak job, kan? Jaga emosi"
"Balik KL mesti Ara risau abang"
"Avoid things that cause you harm. Close the window, no matter how beautiful the view may be. I know she will return, but please don't let her disrupt your life again. You deserve to have a good life too"
"Orang kenal sehari rasa berbulan-bulan. Mana nak dekat abang yang tak berguna ni"
"Sakit hati belum hilang?"
"Tak terkata sakitnya…takkan hilang…"
"Abang…"
"Lahir lambat sangat. Orang dah habis universiti, awak kedek-kedek dekat tadika hahaha"
"Eyyy pakcik. Mulut baik sikit tau"
Hal laki bini
"Ara percaya la sangat dia tak sayang laki dia. Dia bebel itu ini tak puas hati. Bila dah reda, sayang jugak. Malam kena 2,3 round terus lupa semua. Kena pulak besar lengan hahaha"
"Ish abang ni!"
"Benda betul. Hal laki bini kita dengar, jangan komen. Bila dah berbaik, kita pulak di salahkan nanti"
Sunday, May 12, 2024
Motocross
"Macam lama tak main motocross. Rindu la"
"No, no, no"
"Alaaa lompat je pun"
"Ri tu abang lompat jantung Ara yang tertinggal tau. No. Tak boleh"
"Alaaa sekali je. Tahun lepas tak main"
"Abang main benda lain. Sukan semua nak lasak-lasak. No abang, no"
"Kita naik jeep panjat gunung nak?"
"Noooo. Last time abang panjat, jantung kita tinggal dekat mana entah. Ngeri tau meniti jeep atas titi halus. Arus deras astu panjat gunung pacak. No, abang. Ara tak nak. Ara tak sanggup"
"Kita tak jatuh kan"
"Jeep depan semua jatuh. Tak nak la. Takut. Trauma"
"Okey, abang je pergi. Ara tak payah. Sekali je lompat-lompat bukit"
"Nooo"
"Kesian motor tak jalan hmm"
"Abang jangan nak mengada"
Mac 17, 2024
Minyak
"Dua hari dah sakit perut. Tak larat ulang tandas"
"Abang makan apa?"
Yang Ara masak je"
"Dah sapu minyak?"
"Belum"
"Makan ubat"
"Malas pegang minyak la tu"
"Hihihi"
"Apa masalah orang perempuan dengan minyak?"
"Bauuuu, bang"
Saturday, May 11, 2024
Hilang
"Mungkin dia tak sedar. Mana tahu satu hari orang ambil laki dia, baru dia sedar dia sayang. Selama ni tak sedar"
"Abang ni kan"
"Ye la. Itu je caranya. Mana ada cara lain"
"Mmm"
"Bila dah hilang baru sedar. Selama ada tak sedar"
(tt)
Kerja rumah
"B"
"Hmm"
"Kecoh tau sekarang suami buat kerja rumah and jaga anak ramai bercerai"
"Mana Ara tahu?"
"FB"
"Ooh"
"Mmm…"
"Kenapa?"
"Abang jangan buat kerja rumah, tak payah jaga anak. Semua jangan"
"Anxiety bukan-bukan"
Friday, May 10, 2024
Romantik
"Pasal pokok tumbang tu orang boleh saman DBKL ke?"
"Macam mana abang tahu?"
"Berita"
"Ri tu abang busy jawab and return call. Bila abang baca?"
"Orang tanya lain jawab lain"
"Berapa orang meninggal?"
"Entah"
"Abang tak baca kannn. Kita check search history abang tak ada punnn astu siapa pemberita abang? Acam ada bau ikan hangus"
"Memang tak ada keja"
"Siapa suruh abang busy?"
"Betul-betul siasat suami"
"Tak ehhh"
"Awak rasa suami awak ada orang lain ke macam mana?"
"Tak pun. Kerja versus isteri, kerja menang astu acam cukup masa"
"Habis tu?"
"Tak tahu"
"Ara…kenapa?"
"Orang ambil abang macam mana?"
"Tengok lagi drama Melayu"
"Laki kita handsome, lembut, romantik, suka pegang kita, peluk kita. Siapa je tak nak"
"Bila pulak abang romantik"
"Abang pernah baca How to Become a Romantic Man?"
"Tak"
"Tak payah baca. Semua abang buat"
"……"
"No.14. Ramai laki lepas kawin out tapi abang acam lagi hencem"
"Sunah jaga penampilan, berwangi-wangi depan bini. Abang handsome sebab Ara jaga abang"
"Maceh puji"
"Abang nak sambung kerja"
"Kiss, please"
"Mana?"
"Sini"
"……"
"Tak nak situ"
"……"
"……"
Heart vs Mind
When your heart wants to see that person, But your mind cannot afford another heartbreak. When your heart wants to be with that person, But your mind knows that they cannot be yours. When your heart wants to beat for that person, But your mind cannot function when they are around. When your heart loves them unconditionally, Then your mind suffers the most.
(Unknown)
Shh…tidur
"Abang, Ara minta izin nak tidur"
"Okey. Good night"
_
"Abang mmm"
"Tak boleh tidur?"
"Ha'a"
"Meh sini"
"……"
"Pejam mata"
"Abang, buka baju"
"Buat apa?"
"Buka laaa"
"Cari apa"
"1,2,3,4,5,6"
"Jangan kacau. Abang buat kerja"
"Siapa kacau abang?"
"Ara…jangan la"
"……"
"Kain nak buka sekali tak? Seluar dalam tak nak bukak sama. Kang haa"
"Hihihi"
"Baring katil"
"Tak nak"
"Ara, abang banyak kerja ni"
"Astu?"
"Buat-buat tanya pulak. Jangan la kacau"
"……"
_
"Hihi bang, bang, bangun la. Berat"
"Pasal apa nak bangun? Tadi pandai sangat"
"Kita nak balik bilik. Acam panas sini"
"Tak boleh"
"Tapi abang kan banyak kerja astu buat la. Jangan kacau kita"
"Abang kacau Ara?"
"Ha'a"
"Shh…tidur"
"Mmm…berat tau sesak nafas"
"Abang boleh CPR kan"
"Hihihi please, please"
"Eh"
_
"Laa…kacau lepas tu tidur"
"……"
"……"
"Abang buat apa tu?"
"Eh tak tidur hehe"
"Jangan kacau kita"
"Siapa kacau?"
"Abang la"
"Abang buat apa?"
"Macam-macam tu"
"Biar la. Hak abang"
"Siapa cakap?"
"Shh…"
"Tak nak"
"……"
(tt)
Thursday, May 09, 2024
Her voice
I miss her voice so much. I called a few times without telling her, but I didn't get the chance to talk to her. Our schedules don't align. I have seven new projects that require attention, and I am currently swamped with my work schedule, along with old projects that are still pending.
Her voice is something I miss hearing every single day.
I miss you, babe.
Tuesday, May 07, 2024
Krabi
"Krabi holds a bitter-sweet memory for me. The memory of "I gave myself to this man" is THE bitter-sweet memory".
_
There are no bittersweet memories. You made your choice consciously. You chose to marry him. No one else made that decision for you. You gave him conditions, and he fulfilled your conditions perfectly. I read in our blog that you wrote, 'Semoga ada jodoh kami…'. Why do you seem to regret your decision?
Monday, May 06, 2024
Kayuh gerek
"Abang nak kayuh gerek. Nak ikut?"
"Malas tapi nak ikut"
"Jom"
_
"Macam cerita Hindustan duduk dekat palang"
"Romantik tau"
"Kira nak romantik memanjang"
"Cepat laaa"
"Tak menyempat"
"Ha'a"
"Buku bawa?"
"Malasss"
_
"Balik Ara kayuh"
"Tak nakkk. Abang berat"
"Apa yang berat?"
"Semuaaa"
"Ara pun berat"
"Please sikitttt. Kita ringan aje"
"Ye ke?"
"Ye la. Abang tu"
"Handsome tiada tandingan, kan hahahaha"
"Apa kaitannnn"
Hmm
"Abang…okey tak?"
"Okey. Gila betul tak nak payment suruh sambung kerja"
"Dengar suara sampai bilik"
"Sorry"
"It's okay. Lama kan abang tahan sabar. Melampau betul perangai"
"Kembar terjaga?"
"Tak. Abang nak air?"
"Air masak"
"Ara masak bihun sup. Nak?"
"Tak payahlah. 2.30 pagi dah. Abang tak lapar pun"
"Tak apa, abang. Jom la"
"Okey"
Sunday, May 05, 2024
Thank you, Hara
I am in New York City with my family. I originally brought my wife here to attend an orchestra concert at the New York Philharmonic. She has a keen interest in orchestras, particularly piano, violin, and cello. We enjoyed Sheku Kanneh-Mason, Salonen, and Symphonie fantastique at Wu Tsai Theater, David Geffen Hall, which began at 8 pm and ran for 1 hour and 45 minutes. After the concert, I surprised my wife with a romantic candlelit dinner. As we exited the hotel for the orchestra performance, I gently took her hand in mine as we strolled. Later, on our evening walk following the dinner, she intertwined her arm with mine as we moved along.
Thank you, Nurhara, for bringing so much happiness into my life. You treat me like a king. Thanks again, my love.
May 4, 2024
Manhattan, USA
Emotional distance
I don't open the apps.
I don't read the chat.
I don't re-read her emails.
I write one email at a time.
I want her to focus on her husband without thinking about me. Her husband wants her attention and love. Maybe he feels like something is missing in their relationship. Perhaps he thinks she is only physically there, not emotionally. Men can sense these things. He limits her phone time at home not just because he suspects her of infidelity, but because he sees her spending more time on her phone than with him. He wants more. He wants more from her: more attention and affection. He wants to be her everything. I know how it feels to be unvalued, unwanted, and craving attention. I know how loneliness feels in a relationship.
Ya Rabb, may she be a source of coolness in his eyes, bringing them closeness, happiness, and enjoyment of each other's company. Ya Rabb, I do not want to be the third wheel in their marriage. Forgive me and remove me from being the cause of the downfall of their marriage.
Masjid Awliya, New York
May 5, 2024 / 5.00 am
Separuh sayap nyamuk
"Merengek je eh hehe"
"Ee jangan la. Abanggg"
"Manja"
"Alaa kenapa buka laptop? Alaaa"
"Dah habis kerjakan Ara kena la buat kerja"
"Alaaa"
"Dia tak bayar, dia pulak nak ambil tindakan sebab abang langgar agreement"
"Apa maksud langgar agreement?"
"Dalam agreement ada tempoh masa. Masa kita buat kerja, dia asyik tukar pelan, arah kerja itu ini. Kerja yang patut kita buat jadi tergendala. Progress tak selari dengan tarikh. Dia gunakan alasan tu untuk tak bayar. Bila tak bayar, kita tak boleh buat kerja untuk next step. Dia salahkan kita padahal salah dia. Payment pun selalu lambat. Semua benda asyik nak tukar. Nak tambah macam-macam tapi tak nak tambah duit. Mana boleh macam tu"
"Pembelit"
"Dia lupa, kenikmatan yang kita dapat atas muka bumi ni hanya separuh sayap nyamuk. Apa yang kita tak dapat pun, hanya separuh sayap nyamuk. Tapi manusia selalu lupa"
05-05-2024
NYC
Just you
"Senyum je hari ni"
"Happy. Orkestra best sangat. Dinner best. Night walk best"
"Abang tak best?"
"Tak hihi"
"Ada ke tak best"
"Abang tak sedih pasal projek? Kesian abang mmm"
"Dia bayar kita tak bertambah kaya, dia tak bayar kita tak miskin. Amount tu kecik cuma penat la buat kerja"
"Kenapa manusia jahat?"
"Ara jangan susah hati. Minor project je. Boleh cover"
"You made me happy, but inside, you need to deal with so many things"
"My thoughts are solely consumed by you. No one else. Nothing else. Just you"
"Mulut manis. Jual harga paling tinggi tau astu cuti setahun kita nak pergi travel"
"Ingat nak baby hahaha"
"Abang cakap dah cukup"
"Travel mana? Mana Ara nak pergi?"
"Mana kita belum pergi?"
"Syurga"
"Abang ni kannn"
*keluarkan bunga*
"Heeeee"
*senyum*
*peluk*
04-05-2024
NYC
_
Malam yang bahagia. Wahai Tuhan pemilik sekalian alam, kekalkanlah kebahagiaan ini. Amin.
Saturday, May 04, 2024
My wife
My wife always seeks my permission before responding to any messages from her male friends. While she is fine to reply to messages from her clients or colleagues without asking, she still prefers to check with me first. She did not have male friends as she went to an all-girls school from elementary to high school. She does not store the contact numbers of male friends in her phone or connect with them on social media. This sets my wife apart from other women.
Tak bayar
"You good, sayang?"
"Okey"
"You sure?"
"Dua projek abang orang tak nak bayar"
"Banyak ke?"
"Banyak jugak. Abang dah hentikan kerja tu semalam. Dia tanya pulak kenapa tak nak teruskan"
"Such a nutjob. You didn't even pay but you still expect people to keep working"
"Satu lagi tu hmm buat dengan orang kenal…tu leceh. Dia cakap dah siap buat apa nak bayar"
"What?! Dia gila ke apa, abang?"
"Semua langgar agreement"
"Abang tak ambil tindakan?"
"Tak. Malas"
"Mmm…kesian abang"
"Tinggal sekejab construction. Abang ada kerja lain. Nak pergi menjual. Kalau lepas, makan besar. Ara doakan abang, okey?"
"Sure, sayang"
"Duit je Ara. Ada la tu Tuhan nak uji. Mesti ada benda besar Tuhan bagi nanti"
"Law firm pun sama,bang. 60% sebelum prosiding, 40% after case habis. Hangus je. Tak pun mintak diskaun gila-gila. Ambil kes kawan-kawan tak nak bayar legal fees. Bayar duit kopi ikut suka dia. Geram je"
"Dunia, Ara. Janji semalam dah dengar "Abang jahat, abang berat" haha ceria hati hari ni"
"Shhh…abang ni kan. Eee"
"Apa yang berat tu hmm? Abang ke benda abang haha"
"Tak tahu hihi"
04-05-2024
NYC
Friday, May 03, 2024
Butang
"Butangkan boleh?"
"Boleh"
"Lawa butang"
"Butang je?"
"Ara pun lawa"
"Ele"
"………"
"………"
.
..
...
"Abang pergi masjid kejab"
"Be careful"
"Peluk sikit"
"Tak solat kita tak tahu"
"Abang sayang Ara dunia akhirat"
*peluk*
Camping
"Abang, what is love?"
"Love is when you want the other person to be happy even if it means you are not in their life"
"But you are going to hurt yourself by letting them go"
"Do we have a choice when we can't give them happiness?"
"Choice... People choose not to be with us, people choose to leave us, and they also choose to come back when they realize their mistake in leaving us behind"
"It's not a mistake. That's what we wanted at that time. Sometimes our feelings fool us. The heart is filled with a lot of emotions, and we can get confused by them. We may want to choose against our hearts, but they don't want us to choose what we want. They make choices based on what they want"
"Do you love me, abang?"
"I do"
"How much do you love me?"
"..."
"Would you let me go if I were with someone else?"
"No..."
"Why?"
"I don't want to see you with another man..."
"But you said love is letting go if it can bring happiness to the person you love"
"Let me, for once, fight for you. I want to fight for you. I don't want to repeat my mistake. This is how much I love you. I don't want to lose another battle. One is enough, but if... if letting go will make you happier, I would, because your happiness is truly my happiness, even if it hurts me"
"Serius tau abang malam ni"
"Seronok camping, kan. Ada unggun api, bintang, kopi panas dan Ara yang menghangatkan malam hmmm"
*sandar*
Second business
"Tu second business dia. Mana ada orang cerita pasal core business. Macam abang, kalau orang tanya abang cakap buat construction je"
"Kenapa eh? Ramai orang business macam tu"
"Bagitahu core business, orang boleh anggar duit kita banyak mana. Malas la orang tahu. Islam pun suruh rahsiakan umur, harta, keluarga"
"Ooo"
"Orang business kan ada banyak business. Dia cerita yang dia nak orang tahu. Yang dia tak nak orang tahu, dia tak cerita. Sebab tu kadang orang cakap, business apa je tapi life style macam business ratus juta. Ada la business lain yang dia buat kita tak tahu"
"Ha"a kannn"
"Ye la mana boleh tahu semua"
"Banyak rahsia"
"Business kan"
Anak sungai
"Abang, ri tu cakap nak rumah resort. Dah jumpa. Confirm abang suka"
"Mana?"
"Resort Villa, Sendayan"
"Rasa nak rumah hadap tasik"
"Cepat nau berubah hati"
"Anak sungai lagikan berubah. Ini kan hati"
"Abang"
"Eh hati abang tak berubah"
Thursday, May 02, 2024
RM67.41 billion
1.39 million M'sian tourists have helped Thailand generate RM67.41 billion revenue so far this year.
Masam
"Kenapa abang peluh? Aircond rosak?"
"Tak. Saja"
"Basah kuyup baju. Masammm"
"Masam ke?"
"Ha'a"
"Ni Ara datang nak apa?"
"Garangnya"
"Ara datang cari apa, sayang?"
"Cari abang…rindu"
"Amboi dia. Lembutnya suara"
"Fokus tau. Kita nak balik bilik"
"Datang goda lepas tu tinggal"
*flying kiss*
"Bagi la sikit. Jangan kedek"
"Masammmmm"
Gugur jantung
"30 jam. Kalah CR balik Singapore"
"Astu macam mana?"
"30 jam pergi, 30 jam balik. Lama tu. Mana nak balik Hartamas"
"Mmm kita malas fikir. Abang aje fikir"
"Nanti abang pergi tengok dulu macam mana"
"Tak salah tukar angin"
"Positif nampak"
"Nomad antarabangsa bak kata Umar. Kita tak suka adventure tapi kawin dengan laki penuh adventure"
"Adventure hmm"
"Sangat"
"Mana yang adventure tu?"
"Semua"
"Hmm…"
"No. Puasa, sayang"
"Ahhhhh doi"
"Sabar,…"
"Haih suara pun. Gugur jantung"
Drama TV3
"Kita baru nak yeay astu kita baca komen cakap dia nak kawan je"
"Dah memang dari mula dia tak pilih. Sampai sudah dia tak nak. Penat member tabur effort haha"
"Tu la. Eee geram kita"
"Hahaha drama TV3"
Takut
"Abang tak keluar kerja seminggu dua ni tapi busy sikit. Ada kerja baru masuk"
"Dekat mana?"
"Brazil. Ada 2,3 projek lain. Jadual dah full sampai hujung tahun. Abang tak nak keluar sangat tahun ni. Berkepit dengan Ara je"
"Habis kita hihi"
"Bulan 6 ke 7 abang keluar"
"Astu HQ call astu pergi kerja"
"Monitor dari sini boleh. Hari tu balik kembar dah pandai jalan. Sekarang dah pandai cakap. Rugi abang tak tengok"
"It's okay. Abang kan kerja. Budak-budak faham"
"Tak puas peluk bini"
"Takutlah"
"Ngada"
B
"Kan manis je panggil abang haa. Semua drama panggil abang. Lemas sana sini B"
"Tengok satu drama dah kecam"
"Betul apa abang cakap. Tak payah nak urban sangat Gedik je lebih"
"Apasal abang anti sangat?"
"Tak anti. Geli je. TV la ajar orang panggil B, B ni. Hilang tradisi kemelayuan"
"Astu panggil daddy? Melayu?"
"Hahaha orang cakap konteks lain"
Santai-santai
"Abang nak tidur sini"
"Sempittt"
"Sempit himpit la"
"Alaa"
"Abang kan tilam yang best"
"Tak nak"
"Bangun, abang nak baring"
"Astu kita?"
"Macam tak biasa jadi pemberat"
"Off tu"
"Kenapa?"
"Off record"
"Hari Selasa tak boleh buat anak. Makruh. Kita santai-santai je la. Drama apa Ara tengok?"
"Wanita Syurga"
"Best ke?"
"Best jugak. Tak macam drama Melayu lain"
"Tak tengok cerita bunuh-bunuh?"
"Layan hati jab"
"Malam Jumaat abang layan Ara hahaha"
"Layan macam mana tu?"
"Panas la nak bukak baju"
"Tak payah ehhh. Kerja nak goda aje"
"Takuttt"
"Takkk"
"………"
"Tangan letak sana"
"………"
"Abanggg"
"………"
"Nak bangun la"
"Okey, okey. Good boy hmm"
"Jangan tau"
"Okey, okey"
"Abangggg"
"Ye, ye okey"
"Abanggggg"
"Hahahaha"
30-04-2024
Wednesday, May 01, 2024
Skrip TV
"Abang tak suka skrip drama tu. Melampau je panggil isteri sendiri perempuan tak ada maruah, busuk, sampah"
"Dia berlakon tak pernah watak baik, bang. Abang belum tengok dia berlakon dengan Rizrose. Drama maki hamun bini, bila malam nak bini. Toksik betul. Dia panggil bini sundal. Cerita laki baran"
"Realiti tak sama TV"
"Kita perasan TV suka potretkan laki baran sweet. Ramai tau terpengaruh astu kawin kena pukul"
"Tak drama siapa nak tengok"
"Thanks teman kita tengok drama semalam"
"Sini satu kali"
40
"Apasal laki umur 40 tukar bini?"
"40 dah stabil. Banyak duit, kerja bagus. Kadang bukan laki main perempuan, banyak kes perempuan yang sondol"
"Sondol sampai dapat"
"Dah cerai nombor satu, menyesal. Banyak kes bila ajak rujuk bini tak nak"
"Tak kuasa eh. Dah sayang sangat astu datang balik buat apa. Please sikit. Perempuan ada maruah tau"
Aneh
Hati manusia sangat aneh. Mengapa perlu di rindu yang jauh? Sedang di depan mata serba sempurna. Mengapa terkenang yang bukan hak? Sedang di depan mata memberi segala. Tak bolehkah Tuhan ambil rasa ini dan tanam rasa cinta yang sama pada yang lebih berhak?
Why?
It's 4:32 am in Malaysia. Why would I wait for a text? It's already midnight. Why do I feel like crying? Why do I feel like...
Tuesday, April 30, 2024
Satu benda
"Ara, boleh tak abang mintak satu benda?"
"Abang nak apa?"
"Sini la nak bisik"
"Mengada kan"
"Rapat sikit"
"Apa, bang?"
"………"
"Abanggg"
"………"
"Abanggg"
"………"
"………"
"Hahaha tahu pun senyap"
"Jahat"
"Rindu…"
"One more, please"
"………"
"Comot pipi kita"
"Cium tempat lain kang haa"
"Hihi tak nak, tak nak"
Tetap sayang
"Laki tu dah curang astu buat macam-macam. Come on, abang. Dia nak rujuk semula. Kita pulak yang panas"
"Drama TV3, kan?"
"Sana sayang, sini sayang. Siapa yang dia sayang senanya?"
"Wife dia la. Semua laki, datang la perempuan macam mana pun, isteri tu tetap dia sayang"
"Even curang?"
"Haah. Ada satu video mat saleh cakap pasal ni. Pendapat dia sama macam abang"
"Mana video tu?"
"Tak simpan. Nanti abang cari"
Time means nothing
I came across this and it reminded me of what you once said to me. I will never forget how you made me feel useless and unwanted. I still remember all those hurtful feelings from ten years ago.
"Saya kenal dia sehari tapi rasa macam berbulan-bulan lamanya...”
Photo: Unknown
The most beautiful poem
…”and i believe
the most beautiful poem
ever heard is your heart
racing”
from Trestle by Nikki Giovanni
Romantic evening at home
My very own,
We shared a magical dinner in the seclusion of our bedroom. We swayed together in a dance of love, laughter echoing in the air, our hearts entwined in a tender embrace. Our lips met in sweet kisses, sealing a moment that will forever linger in our memories.
My dearest, your presence filled my soul with joy and warmth. Thank you for a night so enchanting and precious. It was a treasure I will always cherish.
Love and only love,
Sugar boo
Nak manja
"Call kakak angkat Ara kejab"
"Nak buat apa?"
"Nak mengadu. Dia ni tak nak layan saya. Marah dia kejab. Kesian saya. Saya nak manja"
"Eeee! Geram!"
"Ara, Ara. Cuba rasa dada abang"
"Abang ni kannnn. Geram tau tak"
Kawan lelaki
"Dalam friend list kita tak ada kawan laki. Banyak yang add, tapi kita reject. Kawan di luar media sosial je"
"Bagus la. Tak jadi bahan tatapan mata lelaki. Tu beza bini abang dengan perempuan lain"
"Haff pun tak pernah friend dekat FB. Dia meroyan suruh add. Tak kuasa kita"
"Kesian member"
Monday, April 29, 2024
1 saat
"Sebelum Subuh abang dah jemur kain. Siap dah semua"
"Abang…sorry…"
"English breakfast tapi kek macam tak jadi. Tolong boleh?"
"Tak cukup telur"
"Telur abang ada hehe"
"………"
"Haip! Jangan gagau haha"
"Abang guna apa?"
"Ikut resipi"
"Abang ni kan. Salah"
"Mana tahu abang mana pernah masak kek"
"Astu kenapa masak?"
"Hmm…nak bagi sekali dengan ni tapi tak jadi pulak kek tu"
"Abang tak tidur?"
"Kerja dah siap. Ara nak pergi mana jom"
"Tak ada mood"
"Sailing nak?"
"Panas, bang"
"Tengok sunset atas boat?"
"Terbakar kulit kita"
"Polo?"
"Malas"
"Track?"
"Malas"
"Hiking?"
"Malas"
"Pantai?"
"Malas"
"Movie?"
"Boleh dipertimbangkan"
"Cancel. Kita kayuh basikal"
"Malasssss"
"Asmaradana nak?"
"Tak ada mood eh"
"Wahai mood, kembalilah"
"Tak nakkkk"
"Abang kan ada jalak lenting, ganas dan perkasa hmm"
"Tak kuasa layan abang"
"Ara…lama la tak panjat-panjat"
"Panjat gunung sana"
"Tapi kan…gunung tak ada bau macam…sayang…" *lentok kepala dekat bahu*
"Wrong time nak manja"
*rangkul pinggang*
"Abang…"
"Hmm…"
"Lepas…anak dah turun"
"1 saat"
Human pleasure
"Macamana abang sakit bila saya dengan laki saya...itu la sakit saya bila abang dengan isteri abang..."
(April 23, 2024)
_
Hurt... If you want to talk about hurt, I felt it a decade ago when you walked away from my life. Like you, I didn't think about it. It just came and conquered my conscious mind with the image of adultery, whether I closed my eyes to try to sleep or stayed awake. It just came and didn't want to go. It's horrible. The emotion is unbearable, isn't it? Yeah, I know how it feels. I have dealt with it for a long period.
Surely, as an adult, I understand it's your duty and you have your needs to be fulfilled too. It's a part of marriage. It gives us calmness and pleasure at the same time. We crave the touch, the gestures, the kisses, the playful bites, and all the other expressions of intimacy. Sharing intimate moments with loved ones is a fundamental human pleasure that enhances happiness and strengthens bonds.
I used to touch my wife very softly and gently, offering her sweet touches and kisses. Being far away for work, I always wanted to rejuvenate when I returned home. One way, of course, was through intimacy. When we are apart again, we tend to remember those moments - our laughter, the hushed breaths, the joy, and the excitement. I don't want all of that to fade away. No, never.
Sunday, April 28, 2024
Pekerja
"Sekarang baru 11.45. Kejab lagi abang balik"
"Kenapa tak rehat? Abang dah janji, kan?"
"Bila janji? Abang cakap okey je"
"Okey is janji"
"Sejak bila okey maksud janji?"
"New word in my dictionary"
"Eh jangan nak mengada"
"Mmm marahhh"
"Abang pergi kondo tengok semua okey ke tak. Pekerja baru sampai"
"Secy buat apa je?"
"Abang nak make sure semua okey. Ara tahu tak pekerja Tamil dekat tempat kita selalu kena dera? Kena simbah air panas, bakar hidup-hidup tapi dia sempat lari hari tu. Kena kurung berbulan-bulan tangan kaki kena rantai. Dapat gaji 800 kena potong separuh duit makan. Makan pun nasi dengan kuah. Jangan mimpi ada lauk. Letak pulak dalam rumah sampai 30 orang. Kerja 12 jam lebih tak ada cuti, tak ada OT. Ada tu kena pukul tiap hari. Kena liwat jangan cakap la"
"Mmm pernah dengar"
"Abang datang check. Pesan kalau kena buli ke pukul ke buat report dekat office tak pun secy supaya abang tahu. Kebajikan dia orang tanggungjawab abang. Siang tadi dah hantar pergi barber kasi potong rambut, jambang bagi kemas. Beli dah body wash, pisau cukur, pencuci muka, body spray, Colgate. Beli jugak tadi seluar dengan kasut pakai kerja. Ajar guna toilet dengan barang rumah"
"Minggu orientasi hihi"
"Yelah bukan semua ada toilet dekat rumah sana. Bagitahu perempuan tak boleh bawa masuk"
"Manja la pekerja abang, duduk kondo. Kenapa tak kontenakan?"
"Abang tak pernah letak pekerja dalam kontena. Musim panas sekarang. Nak tidur macam mana. Siang dah berpanas, malam berpanas. Letak aircond pun panas. Rosak badan"
"Acam majikan bertanggungjawab hihi"
"Memang ada yang tak bersyukur tapi dah tanggungjawab kita. Tak larat nak menjawab dekat akhirat pulak. Makan sehari 3 kali"
"Abang tanggung?"
"Company. Pagi capati, tengah hari nasi, petang roti. Malam masak sendiri. Cadang nak tukar pagi, nasi. Tak penat sangat, kan? Lepas tu nak beli vitamin ke supplement bagi"
"Semua pekerja dapat layanan acam ni ke?"
"Ha. Semua tempat sama"
"Paling muda umur berapa, bang?"
"18. Paling tua 72"
"Boleh kerja ke, bang?"
"Boleh. Dia nak cari duit. Anak nak kawin. Anak dia doktor. Mapley mintak satu BM mari"
"Hamboi!"
"Dowri baik punya. Kesian pun ada"
"Mmm mmm tapaya pakcik. Kawin aje dengan laki lain. Laki banyak pakcik. Da kawin minta macam-macam acam mana? Ehhh please la kita kawin nak tanggung dia. Kalau acam Amitabh Bachchan tapala. Ini busuk acam belacan acam mana?"
"Mengata orang bukan main kan. Puasa ke tak ni?"
Panggilan telefon
Manila, Filipina
13-03-2024
Personal space
Ara and I share a small bedroom that doubles as our workspace or a retreat for alone time. The room is cozy and includes a single bed, a bookshelf, a record player, a mini fridge, a small pantry, and a bathroom and toilet shared with others. It's a fully equipped space. Occasionally, I spend 3-4 days in this room, fully immersed in my work until completion. Ara utilizes her workspace for tasks such as writing academic journals, proofreading, researching cases, attending meetings, and more.
We didn't face any issues. We understood that even in the context of marriage, the need for personal space is essential for individual growth and well-being, and this was something we both valued and respected. During moments of restlessness, our shared small space became a refuge, a sanctuary where we could retreat to recharge, reflect, and work on ourselves, striving to become better individuals not just for ourselves but for the benefit of those in our lives.
(25-02-2024)
Tak ada mood
"Busy?"
"Satu lagi fail. Sistem down"
"……"
"Duduk sini"
"Tak nak kacau abang"
*tarik tangan* "Duduk"
"……"
"Kenapa masam?"
"Tak ada mood"
"Mood dah terbang?"
"Ha'a"
"Mana mood pergi?"
*tangkap jari*
"Garang"
"Kita tak ada mood. Jangan kacau"
"………"
"Tak nak"
"Nak apa?"
"Semua tak nak"
"Okey"
"I miss you…"
"……"
"Tak nak"
"Hujan lebat-lebat…si kambing biri-biri"
"Abang sebut kambing, kita sembelih semua, semua tau anak itik abang"
"Main hujan nak?"
"Tak nak"
"Jom, jom. Bangun"
"Tak nak"
"Abang dukung kang"
"Jangan"
"Okey, okey"
Dah lupa?
"Masalahnya, bang, dia bini orang. Bos dia laki orang. Anak 5"
"Dah confirm?"
"Laki dia jumpa bukti. Perang besar-besaran"
"Cerai ke?"
"Laki tak nak lepas"
"Bini bos dah tahu?
"Dah. Kenapa eh kacau laki orang? Tak kesian ke anak bini orang tu?"
"Bini dia sanggup madu?"
"Mesti la tak. Kalau Ara pun tak nak"
"Kenapa?"
"Abang expect perempuan boleh terima?"
"Tak la. Tanya je"
"Abang buat macam tu, Ara benci abang sebenci-bencinya"
"Macam benci Haff?"
"Lebih"
"Kenapa nak benci?"
"Apa abang rasa bila orang khianat abang…dulu? Dah lupa?"
"Tak"
"Astu?"
"Tanya je. Jangan la marah"
"One thing I have learned about people, if they do it once, they will do it again. Abang jugak cakap macam tu. Dah lupa? Takkan orang nak curang satu? Kalau boleh dua, tiga, empat"
"Amboi banyak"
"Tapi abang good boy. You wouldn't do that to me, right? I can't believe you'd cheat on me. Don't mess up my life like my ex did, abang. I don't know how to live without your love. Ara dah korbankan segalanya untuk abang. Ara tak minta lebih, jangan curang. Sakit abang…sakit sangat…"
I love you
"In this part of the story I am the one who dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you, because I love you, Love, in fire and in blood.”
— Pablo Neruda
Segala rasa
"Abang…tak masuk bilik? Kenapa tidur sini?"
"Terlelap. Lupa belum witir"
"You okay, sayang?"
"Okey"
"Rindu mmm?"
"Rindu siapa?"
"Selalu faham"
"Rindu memang kena orang lain?"
"Abang nampak moody sejak sampai. Kenapa?"
"Kita ada hidup yang baik sebab Ara ada dengan abang. Abang tak boleh fikir kalau Ara tak ada dalam hidup abang"
"You have proven me wrong: not all men are the same"
"Hmm……"
"Can you carry me to our bedroom? Dah lama tau abang tak dukung Ara"
"Sure"
_
"Abang nak keluar jogging"
"Now?"
"Haah"
"……"
"Abang stres. Keluar kejab je"
"Okey"
"Tidur dulu. Tak payah tunggu abang"
_
"Ara…tak tidur lagi?"
"Tunggu abang"
"Kejab abang mandi"
"Abang…"
"Hmm?"
*peluk*
"Peluh"
"It's okay"
_
"Sayang, towel"
"Dah ada"
"Towel"
"Kejab"
_
"Dah mandi nak mandi lagi"
"Siapa suruh abang tinggal "tuala". Salah abang"
"Ara dah mandi. Tak nak la ajak"
"Tapi selalu abang panggil. Abang dah tak sayang Ara…"
"Sayang…takkan tak sayang"
(tt)
Saturday, April 27, 2024
Pain
“Pain is a part of life. Sometimes it's a big part, and sometimes it isn't, but either way, it's part of the big puzzle, the deep music, the great game. Pain does two things: It teaches you, tells you that you're alive. Then it passes away and leaves you changed. It leaves you wiser, sometimes. Sometimes it leaves you stronger. Either way, pain leaves its mark, and everything important that will ever happen to you in life is going to involve it in one degree or another.”
― Jim Butcher, White Night
Jangan kacau
"Darling, I busy tau. Jangan kacau"
"Abang yang kacau Ara?"
"Bila masa kita kacau abang? Please sikit"
"Pukul 9 tu apa?"
"Tak tahu hihi"
"Mengada je"
"See you, baby"
"Okey"
"Eee tak romantik langsung"
Kemurungan
"Real budak-budak sekarang punya depression. Entah apa nak depres"
"IB is pretty tough"
"Yelah. Standard STPM"
"SPM is way easier"
"Dah settle field work, kena buat report. Habis report, esei lagi. Mana tak pengsan. Abang suruh dia belajar A Level dia tak nak. Nak paksa, jadi rebel. Bagi dia buat pilihan sendiri macam ni pulak hmm…"
"She stresses herself out too much. Expectations mess up a lot of things in life"
"Kalau tak dapat kolej dia nak tu lagi parah depression. Kenapa dia tak nak Stanford? Best apa belajar situ"
Susu anak
"Kakak angkat kita membebel panjang pasal effort. Dia cakap tak di hargai, dia stop each time"
"Hal apa pulak tu?"
"Husband dia buat susu anak berkira. Anak nak ramai"
"Sebelum kawin effort bukan main"
"Ha'a. Serba-serbi effort. Dah kawin mmm malas cerita"
"Lanyak bini rajin. Susu anak malas buat. Rumah malas kemas, baju malas basuh. Semua bini buat. Dia buat apa? Main telor?"
"Hihi abang ni kan. Mana kita tahu"
Friday, April 26, 2024
Good luck, Kakak
My dearest daughter,
As time flies by, I am filled with pride for your achievements as you near adulthood. Together, we have faced challenges and cherished every moment. Today is a momentous day for you as you strive for success in your examinations and aim to secure a place at The Albert Einstein Medical School. (I'm curious, what influenced your choice over Stanford Medical School?) May all your aspirations come to fruition.
Always remember, "The early bird catches the worm." Stay dedicated and focused on your dreams.
With all my love and support,
Daddy
[April 25, 2024]
Help me, Ya Rabb
I don't want to touch my wife solely out of responsibility for her needs (nafakah). I desire to touch her because of my own longing and urge, free from the weight of husbandly obligations. I feel guilty about this. Last month, I only touched her once. This month, since my return, I still haven't been able to be intimate with her.
Ya Rabb, help me.
I chose to be a cheater
"Abg tgh dgn syg kan skrg? I am the other woman kan?"
(Jan 10, 2024)
_
No matter how many times I deny it, it is true that I have a "relationship" with other women behind my wife's back. We didn't declare anything, never spoke about it either, but it is still an affair. To make matters worse, she is someone else's wife. Yeah, it's too bad. I used to be a very loyal man, but this time I broke my own rules. Everybody breaks their principles for someone.
She was the one who ended our relationship nearly ten years ago for another man. Sometimes I wonder, am I foolish for still treating her with kindness despite the numerous times she shattered my heart? I don't know why she still wants me when she has a man who consistently goes above and beyond to bring her happiness. I haven't made any sweet gestures for her. .
How do I feel about having an affair? I feel bad. I feel guilty towards my wife. Every time I look at her, I feel sad. I always remember how painful those years were when someone I loved stabbed me in the back, and now I am making the same mistake. My wife carries the scars of past betrayals, when her fiancé had another woman behind her back and now I am doing the same.
"Cheating" is a painful word. I never expected that I would have this kind of relationship in my life. I want to be faithful to my wife, but the heart wants what it wants. People say that having an affair is a choice, and I made that choice. I hope that my wife doesn't know about this. I don't want her to be hurt. I love her and my family, but still I chose to be a cheater, an unfaithful husband…
Thursday, April 25, 2024
Warren Buffett
"Kembar, net worth Warren Buffett $84.5 billion. Cara nak dapat banyak duit bukan kita kerja cari duit, tapi duit kerja untuk kita. *Money makes money. And the money that money makes, makes money. Jom kita main kira-kira. Semalam kita main eksperimen sains gunung berapi"
"Da da da"
"Da da da"
"Da da da"
"Da da da"
"Okey, semua pun pandai.
*Benjamin Franklin
Tanggungjawab isteri
"Rumah kotor pun pandang saya macam saya goyang kaki tak buat kerja, rumah bersih pun kena bebel, takde kerja cari kerja, saja buat kerja lebih..."
_
Tugas isteri ada dua sahaja dalam Islam. Pertama, melayan suami. Kedua, melahirkan zuriat. Segala kerja rumah di bawah tanggungjawab suami.
Cemburu
"*Wama Indallahi Khair. Kalau jealous baca ni"
"Apasal kita eh"
"Dah asyik mengekor mana abang pergi"
"Abang jealous kan apa?"
"Tak ada jealous apa"
"Astu buat apa baca?"
"Ish dia ni la"
*(Al-Qasas 28:60)
I miss you
I miss her more than ever. This feeling hits me hard. I can't get her out of my mind. I can't focus on what's in front of my eyes when all I can think about is her.
How should I deal with this feeling?
Kemahuan isteri
"Soalan Ara tu, kadang- kadang memang abang stres dengan Ara tapi bukan sepenuhnya salah Ara. Abang pun ada salah. Manusia Ara, tak sempurna tapi abang cuba untuk lebih memahami. Mungkin ada yang abang terlepas pandang. Abang minta maaf kalau abang tak capai apa yang Ara nak"
"Ara mengada-ngada kan, abang?"
"Memang isteri di cipta untuk mengada-ngada dengan suami. Tapi tu la, kadang-kadang suami ni dia malas layan"
"Kita nak perhatian je. Nak banyak sangat"
"Tak cukup-cukup, kan?"
"Ha'a"
25-04-2024
Tanda bahagia
"Am I your happiness?"
"Yes, you are"
"Do I make you happy?"
"Yes, you do"
"Am I a good wife?"
"Kenapa soalan pelik-pelik malam ni?"
"Saja tanya…abang ada banyak pilihan tapi abang pilih Ara"
"Bukan Ara pilih abang? Ara pun ada banyak pilihan apa"
"Kenapa eh Ara pilih abang?"
"Kan…lepas tu hidup susah-susah dekat sini. Hidup tak bebas macam dalam penjara"
"Abang…jangan la cakap macam tu"
"Ara, kegembiraan tu apa?"
"Hati yang bahagia"
"Macam mana nak tahu hati kita bahagia?"
"Bila kita berasa tenang. Abang cakap"
"Sekarang tenang tak?"
"Mmm debar hihi"
25-04-2024
Our little conversation
"Orang datang dalam hidup kita sekejab je, Ara. Kadang kita hadir untuk mengingatkan hal-hal yang dia fikir tak wujud. Kadang manusia tahu salah, tapi tak ada yang menegur. Bila kita tegur berlaku perubahan ke arah positif. Mungkin kita tegur orang. Mungkin orang tegur kita"
"………"
"Ada orang dia rapat dengan kita tapi dia tak kenal kita. Kadang kita cuma meluah tapi orang anggap kita macam-macam. Kalau betul pun, dengar je la apa salahnya. Tapi manusia jarang ada kemahiran mendengar. A listener needs a listener too. Kita meluah bukan nak respons. Kadang cuma penat. Nak lepas apa terbuku dalam hati tapi orang cepat jadi hakim. Kita rasa lagi down. We can't open up to other people because they are quick to judge. It's better to keep silent"
"I feel you. Teruk kan perangai macam tu"
"Manusia kena belajar cara menanggapi manusia lain"
"Why are people quick to judge?"
"Human beings have different levels of maturity. Pemahaman manusia selalunya berbeza"
"………"
"Bila kita nak buat satu tindakan, kita kena faham tindakan yang kita buat tu pihak satu lagi faham tak apa yang kita buat"
"Maksud abang?"
"Contoh, macam bini Pet bagitahu tarikh dia kawin. Untuk apa dia bagitahu? Nak Pet cemburu atau nak suruh Pet pujuk? Mesej tak sampai. Abang akan anggap ex dia nak buat Pet cemburu. Tak terfikir benda lain. Macam nak show off dah mulakan hidup baru"
"Clearly tak ada mesej lain"
"Tingkahlaku manusia dari zaman purba sampai sekarang tak berubah. Macam orang kata 'A person who leaves in anger will always come back, but the one who leaves with a smile will never return'. Macam tu lah manusia. Sekian, habis"
"Our little conversation can make me feel much better"
"Kenapa? Ara tak okey"
"Ha'a"
"Sebab apa tak okey?"
"Sebab mmm mmm nak bisik boleh tak?"
"Boleh cakap nak bisik"
"Tak nak cakap"
"Dah merajuk. Cepat bisik"
"………"
"Eh? Laaaa"
"Abang diam ehhh. Jangan ketawa"
"Hehehe"
"Jangan laaa"
"Haa. Yee, takkkk hehe"
"Abangggg"
25-05-2024
Spesis complicated
Daddy: Bunga untuk Ibu. Nanti bila Umar, Adam dah kawin, selalu beli bunga bagi isteri
Umar: Kenapa perempuan suka bunga?
Daddy: Daddy pun tak pasti. Ibu suka, daddy beli. Kita sebagai suami kena selalu gembirakan hati isteri supaya rezeki kita bertambah. Isteri gembira, rumah tangga bahagia. Bila dah kawin nanti muliakan isteri. Kalau isteri bagi nasihat, dengar. Isteri yang paling kenal kita. Dia tahu baik buruk kita. Kita pun kena terima kelebihan dan kekurangan dia
Adam: Faham, daddy
Daddy: Umar?
Umar: Tapi perempuan spesis complicated, daddy
Huda: Hello! Which species are you talking about?"
Daddy: Dah jangan gaduh
24-04-2024
Wednesday, April 24, 2024
Satu gelas, dua bekas bibir
*tarik kerusi* "Duduk, duduk. Abang sendukkan nasi"
"Tak payah la, bang"
"Bukan selalu. Puasa berapa hari je masak"
"Ara tak kisah pun"
"Okey tak ikan tu?"
"Sedap. Tak garing sangat"
"Tapi kan…kalau abang suap lagi sedap kot"
*senyum*
"Satu gelas, dua bekas bibir. Malam nanti kita pergi pantai"
Gelang kaki
"Suka la tengok Ara pakai gelang kaki. Comel je. Abang memang suka tengok perempuan pakai cincin ke, gelang ke, rantai ke lepas tu Tuhan pun bagi isteri suka pakai benda macam tu"
"Maceh tau"
"Kembar pun dengar je bunyi, semua cabut lari. Dah tahu Ibu datang nak tangkap suruh tidur haha"
"Itu memang buat kita geram"
WhatsApp offline mode
The Meta-owned messaging app WhatsApp is developing a new feature to facilitate file sharing even without an internet connection. According to recent leaks, users will soon be able to share photos, videos, music, and documents offline.
Cari salah
"Ha betul la kan?"
"Takkk. Semua salah laki"
"Perempuan banyak toksik apa. Laki banyak je yang baik"
"Takkk. Laki suka buat perangai"
"Perempuan lagi la suka buat perangai"
"Astu salah perempuan?"
"Video ni cakap. Bukan abang. Haaa"
Kulek pise
"Ikan bakar, air asam, jantung pisang, pajeri nenas, kari kepala ikan. Air tak buat lagi. Ara nak air apa?"
"Singo beng"
"Orite. Buah?"
"Pise"
"Okey"
"Kulek pise jange dok tohok kokse"
"Bila masa eh. Elok je abang buang"
"Hebak demo"
"Abang faham la. Sikit hari lagi bahasa Siam pun boleh cakap"
"Kecek etek nok denga"
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