A difficult decision

7:35 a.m. — Bayinbuluke

I made a difficult decision not to continue our road trip through Southern Xinjiang. Yes, our journey has come to an end. In a few days, we will be heading home. Hopefully, we can get tickets to fly back to Kuala Lumpur.

It is sad. We travel far, only to learn when to stop.

Luqman

Luqman: Bu... bu... bu... nggg... nggg...

Hasha: Bunga, bunga, bunga

Luqman: Bu... bu... nggg...

Hasha: Bu... nga. Bunga

Luqman: Bu... bu...

Hasha: Bunga! Bunga! Bunga! Bunga! Bunga! Bunga! Bunga!

Luqman: Bu... nggg... bu...

Hasha: Aih...

Daddy: Hasha, jangan marah dia. Sabar, sabar. Muka macam nak telan orang je

Sayram Lake

23-06-2026

Hasha

Hasha: Asha nak cing

Daddy: Tu pampers ada

Hasha: Asha tak nak

Daddy: Nak pergi toilet?

Hasha: *angguk*

Daddy: Yelah, jom. Pampers buat perhiasan je

18-06-2026

Nightmare

Daddy: What's wrong?

Raysha: Acha nightmare

Daddy: Ha? Macam mana boleh nightmare?

Raysha: Big ant biting me!

Daddy: Aduuuu. Kesian dia. Sini daddy peluk

20-06-2026

Cerita Kembar

Hasha: Daddy sleep

Daddy: Daddy tak nak tidur lagi

Hasha: Daddy must sleep

Daddy: Kalau daddy tak tidur apa jadi?

Hasha: Daddy die

Daddy: Amboi die terus eh

Hasha: *jari pegang mata daddy*

_

Raysha: Daddy, wake up

Hasha: Daddy sleep

Daddy: Ada apa tu?

Raysha: I want to shoo

Daddy: Now?

Hasha: Shoo tomorrow

Raysha: Daddy, help me shoo

Daddy: Ha yelah.  Tadi tak nak kencing

21-06-2026

Cold water

Jinghe — 23 June

We broke up in June 2014. I don’t remember the exact date, or even the day, but I’m sure you still remember it clearly because it was a special day when you met him. If you didn’t remind me two years ago, I would not even remember the month. I don’t really want to talk about that anymore.

Xinjiang is scorching, and I’ve been drinking cold water (not iced). It reminded me of something. Once I asked you what your favourite drink was. You replied, somewhat sarcastically, “air sejuk.” You were angry with me that time, like you often were, and I tried to make things better but…hmmm.

Happy 12 years apart. I hope you are truly happy, both in your body and in your heart, because you deserve it.

_

“She was beautiful, but not like those girls in the magazines. She was beautiful, for the way she thought. She was beautiful, for the sparkle in her eyes when she talked about something she loved. She was beautiful, for her ability to make other people smile even if she was sad. No, she wasn’t beautiful for something as temporary as her looks. She was beautiful, deep down to her soul.” — F. Scott Fitzgerald

Catatan Seorang Ayah

Daddy sedih. Umar, Huda dan Adam tak nak ikut daddy keluar. Semasa kecil, daddy tak membesar dalam sebuah keluarga. Daddy sangka tentu seronok bila dapat makan angin bersama-sama keluarga.

Perasaan itu, hanya yang tak punya keluarga sahaja yang faham. Umar, Huda dan Adam tak faham dan tak akan faham kerana membesar dan di besarkan dalam sebuah keluarga.

Selepas ini, kalau tak nak ikut, daddy tak akan paksa. Agaknya, benar kata orang, semakin dewasa seorang anak, semakin kurang rasa perlukan ibu bapa kerana sudah pandai bawa diri.

Tak apalah. Daddy pergi dengan kembar. Kembar mesti nak jalan-jalan dengan daddy. Sentiasa teruja. Mereka masih melihat ibu bapa sebagai tempat berpaut dan berkongsi kegembiraan.

Ara

"Lama sangat"

"You don't have a second wife there, right?"

"Ye la"

"Alang-alang lambat biar lambat semuanya. We're not in a rush. Miss a flight, we’ll rebook it. Hotel check-in, we’ll sort it out. As long as we have enough cash, we'll be fine"

"Senangnya fikir"

"Why make life more complicated? If we're late, we're late. Tired? Stop and get some sleep. Hungry enough to eat a horse? Go eat. Need to pee? Find a bathroom. Life's actually quite straightforward"

"Nak marah ke nak geram tak tahulah"

"You've done all you can. The kids are grown up. If they don't like it, that's okay. We have to look after our own happiness too. Sometimes you need to put yourself first, and that doesn't make you a bad person"

"Oh, parents pun dah boleh selfish sekarang"

"Yeah, why not?"

Kanas

17-06-2026

3 am

"Emang 3 am aje ex seluruh bumi muncul"

*pandang*

"Marahnyaaaaa. Takutnyaaaa. Jangan telan kita, wak hihihihi"

Love

It is 3:15 a.m. in Kanas, and I still cannot sleep. I have listened to brown noise and done some pre-bed exercises, but my eyes refuse to close. My mind wanders to you, searching for your voice. I remember your time in Beijing years ago. You bought me a small red doll that could say, “I love you.” I signed in to my Hotmail but did not read anything—just stared at your name. 

I miss you, love.

_

“Let’s meet in our dreams tonight, where nothing feels distant and I can hold you close again. Maybe, for a little while, the world will stay quiet, and it will just be you and me, as if nothing else matters. I want to see you smile without missing it afterward, and hear your voice without counting the time left. So if you close your eyes tonight thinking of me too, maybe our hearts will find each other somewhere in between.” — Anonymous

Kanas, China

18 June 2026

Hi sayang

Hi sayang,

I am in Kanas. My road trip has gone wrong, really wrong. I made a simple mistake by not double-checking the distance and by relying on the app. Every kilometre turned out to be almost double. I tried to avoid changing hotels every day, but I ended up moving from one hotel to another repeatedly. My wife has a fever, possibly due to the temperature. 

I wanted to watch the sunrise, but none of the teenage kids wanted to come with me. The young adult seems bored and is not interested in this road trip. So far, they are not enjoying it at all. I was excited to start this road trip, but things have not gone well. I think I should have sent them to summer camp instead of bringing them with me.

Today, I discovered another detour—again, the distance is double. The worst part is that I just found out only vehicles with seven seats or fewer can pass through the Duku Highway. I planned to use this route to return to Urumqi, but now I need to review and reroute everything. It has become very tiring. How was your coffee? Did everything go well?

I hope you are enjoying your day, dearest.

_

“You came, by chance, into my life of which I was not proud, and from that day something began to change. I have breathed better, I have hated things less. I have admired more freely what deserved admiration.” — Albert Camus to Maria Casarès, 1949

Hmm…

Burqin — Kanas | 17 June

Here I am in Kanas. Kanas has one of the most beautiful lakes in China. We will stay here for three days. Many travellers call Kanas "China's Switzerland". Ara is still not feeling well. She had a fever on the first day, then a sore throat, and today she started coughing. The toddlers are still okay, but they have started to cough too. I have been giving them medicine. I have to run around the room like a cat and dog chasing them just to get them to take their syrup. One cries, two refuse outright, and then there's the fourth one; the easy one — happily taking her medicine without any persuasion at all.

After scrolling through many reels, YouTube videos, and clips from other platforms that Ara sent me, I came across one video. She sent it to me a few days ago. My reaction? Should I talk about it? I guess not.

I love Kanas.

Jangan Pergi Jauh

"Jangan pergi jauh-jauh. Hilang nanti"

"Hihihi abang ni kan"

"Orang serius"

"Situ aje. Acam menarik nafsu kita meronta-ronta nak beli"

"Amboi dia"

"Jab tau"

"Abang ikut"

"Eee tak payahlah"

"Pergi cepat abang tengok dari sini"

Burqin Night Bazaar

15-06-2026

Hi sayang

Hi sayang,

I’m in Burqin, Xinjiang. Have you been here? I’m sure not. At least not yet. You’ve always been obsessed with Europe, and of course the Trans-Siberian journey—your bucket list. I don’t really have a bucket list. The list I have is you—marrying you, having kids with you, and living a happy life. Travelling together and pursuing our dreams. I want to be where you are, because life feels more alive when you’re near.

How are you, dearest? How are Hana and Marissa? How is the baby boy? Take care of yourself, your health and your mental well-being. I’m waiting for the kids to take their turn to bathe, and I feel as if you are here with me. We exchange looks, smile at each other, and get ready to start the day. How wonderful that would be. Then reality interrupts, reminding me that we are separated.

_

“I saw a life with you. Imagined a life with you in it. Simple moments, real ones, and now, none of it exists, just thoughts of something that never got the chance to be real.” — Anonymous

Burqin, Xinjiang, China

June 16, 2026

Luqman

Semalam sampai. Luqman okey sahaja. Malamnya dia menangis tanpa henti (berhenti sekejab tengah malam kemudian sambung semula hingga pagi). Belum dapat di pastikan punca Luqman menangis. Ibu Luqman nampaknya sudah mula moody.

Kenapa Luqman menangis hmm?

_

Luqman tidur.

Ibu Luqman moody.

Daddy Luqman sakit kepala.

Masih berkampung dalam bilik. Tidak ke mana-mana walaupun hari sudah hampir tengah hari.

_

Luqman: *menangis*

Hasha: *tutup mulut Luqman*

Daddy: Hasha buat apa? Tak baik buat Luqman macam tu

Hasha: He's noise

Urumqi, Xinjiang

13-06-2026

Travel to Rest

Urumqi — 13 June

People travel to see more places. These days, I travel to rest. My itinerary is simple. One activity in the morning, rest in the afternoon, and a slow evening. A sunset, a horse ride, or simply a good view. At night, I stay in. No viral attractions. No "must-see" checklists. No pressure to see everything.

I just want to sleep well, eat good food, spend time with my family, and be close to nature. That's enough. Travel becomes meaningful when it is slow, quiet, and not a collection of destinations. I've revised this itinerary six times to make sure it isn't packed with tourist attractions.

This will be our first full family road trip—almost 4,000 kilometers, excluding the flights. Alhamdulillah, all my children are here to begin this journey. It will take us through both Northern and Southern Xinjiang, with a few days of rest after two weeks on the road. Hopefully, everything goes well.

Hai Ummi

Hai Ummi,

Im baru selesai mengemas rumah bersama anak-anak. Tak lama lagi kami akan pergi bercuti. Hari ini Ara balik ke Hartamas. Kami tak bergaduh. Kami baik-baik saja. Im yang benarkan Ara balik. Nampak dia kelesuan — penat menguruskan anak-anak. Dapatlah dia berehat seketika tanpa gangguan si kecil yang selalu mahukan perhatian. Ara tak perlu sentiasa bertudung — boleh berbaring di sofa sambil menonton drama Korea. 

Im cuba ringankan beban Ara sebaik mungkin. Setiap kali pulang daripada bekerja selama dua minggu, biasanya Im akan mengambil alih tugas menjaga anak-anak. Mereka sedang membesar. Tenaga mereka sangat banyak dan seakan-akan tidak pernah habis. Mereka juga sudah mula bertanya pelbagai soalan, "Kenapa matahari terang?", "Sebelum dinosaur, siapa yang ada?", dan "Kenapa T-Rex tidak boleh terbang?"

Anak-anak sudah pandai bermain alat muzik, mengenal huruf, warna dan nombor. Mereka belum lancar membaca, tetapi sudah mengenal huruf al-Quran. Proses  membesarkan mereka sangat menggembirakan. Im tak putus-putus mengucapkan terima kasih kepada Ara kerana melahirkan zuriat buat Im.. Kelahiran mereka bukan sahaja menjadikan hidup Im lebih baik, malah membawa begitu banyak rahmat dan barakah. Alhamdulillah, syukur.

Seorang ibu dan isteri tentunya memikul beban mental (mental load) yang besar. Fikiran mereka seolah-olah bekerja tanpa henti. Mereka bukan sahaja tempat paling nyaman untuk anak-anak, malah tempat paling tenang untuk seorang suami. Masa serta tenaga mereka sentiasa dibahagikan sehingga kadang-kadang diri sendiri terabai. Im akan pastikan Ara tak mengalami burnout. Penat emosi sering kali lebih berat berbanding penat fizikal.

Mungkin dengan pulang ke rumah yang penuh kenangan, tanpa memikirkan tanggungjawab harian — Ara dapat merehatkan diri dan melapangkan fikiran. Bersantai sambil makan keropok, tanpa perlu tergesa-gesa menghabiskan makanan atau terkejar-kejar menyelesaikan rutin harian. Perkahwinan banyak mengubah corak kehidupan seseorang, lebih-lebih lagi bagi seorang wanita. Kelapangan seperti itu pasti dirindui selepas mendirikan rumah tangga. 

9 Jun 2026

Kesepian

"Ha Ara. Ada apa?"

"Kita acam nak pindah Afrika"

"Dah kenapa pulak? Dah elok duduk sini Baba ada, Bonda ada, Nenda ada, Hans ada. Kakak angkat ada nak pindah Afrika"

"Perlu ke sebut kakak angkat?"

"Ye la"

"Weekdays sini astu hari minggu kerja obersea astu kita acam mana. Kerja obersea selalu call. Kerja sini dua kali aje. Sejak balik acam busy sesangat. Kesian tau kita menderita kesepian"

"Kesepian apa ke bendanya kan abang baru keluar 30 minit. Budak ni kang"

"Pagi dah keluar. Subuh senanya astu balik petang astu pergi masjid astu pergi eh macam-macamlah"

"Ara dah makan? Lapar?"

"Belum"

"Haa pergi makan. Kejab lagi abang balik kita bincang. Sekarang abang kerja"

"Acam nak cekik abang"

"Dah apa dosa abang. Kerja cari duit bagi Ara jugak"

"Abang tu busy acam YB. Balik laaaa"

"Petang sikit abang balik. Pergi la bagi makan ikan ke, bawa itik berenang ke, siram pokok ke"

"Tak nak"

"Okey, okey kita bakar ikan tepi sungai nak?"

"Kita bukan hutan girl"

"Pergi mall?"

"Balik laaaa"

"Abang kerja. Balik kita sembang"

Februari, 2026

Puh-Puh

"Abang dekat bengkel. Kenapa, Ra?"

"Lahhhh. Bila nak balik?"

"Kejab lagi. Ada apa tu?"

"Jab g kan orang datang"

"Datang rumah kita tak boleh. Abang tak izinkan Ara bawa bakal-bakal madu-madu Ara tu"

"Doktor tau. Tak nak ke?"

"Tak naklah. Buat apa doktor. Bahaya aaa. Kang jadi macam dulu. Masuk wad sakit lutut. Balik bawa makwe orang siap berhantar nasi. Silap-silap kena puh puh. Tak nak abang"

"28 tau. Muda manis-manis aje"

"Kalau dia setuju sign agreement lepas kawin tak kerja, boleh la kot fikir"

"Emang tak la. Saja kan"

"Abang kan kuat cemburu. Abang tak suka bini abang check orang tambah-tambah lagi laki"

"Lahhh check aje perempuan apa susah"

"Tu la susah cakap dengan Ara. Dah, titik. Jangan bawa orang datang rumah. Muktamad"

"Abangggg"

"Jadi mak tiri Ara je la senang. Baba ada 2 lagi kekosongan"

"Tak nak eh"

"Pulak"

"Eeee apa susah sangat. Kawin aje pun"

"Kerja, kerja. Bye"

Januari, 2026

Dua Butir

"Ara, boleh tak berhenti sibuk nak kawinkan abang? Esok lusa kalau abang nak kawin, abang kawin la"

"Astu bila nak cari?"

"Ara nak pergi kerja, pergi je la. Abang bukannya budak kena orang jaga"

"Astu emang tak nak?"

"Ha. Tak nak"

_

"Ada member cerita, member dia tapi abang tak kenal, tahu nama je. Sekarang dah jalan kaki. Habis semua jual lepas kawin baru"

"Bankrap ke?"

"Bini muda kikis sampai botak. Bini tua cerai. Dari rumah 3/4 biji, Range Rover, Bentley apa semua jual. Sekarang ke sana sini cari job"

"Bini muda lari tak?"

"Belum lagi. Akan datang la kot"

"Kenapa kan perempuan perangai acam tu? Kikis sampai bankrap diri sendiri juga yang susah. Tak faham kita"

"Abang selalu pesan dekat kawan, kalau nak kawin 2, bini tua jangan tinggal biar dunia nak terbalik pun. Tapi tu la bukan semua nak bermadu. Ara je yang pelik"

"Abang tu yang pelik"

"Abang ni kan, ada dua butir je. Cukup la untuk Ara hahahahahaha"

Januari, 2026

Minyak Habis

"Bang"

"Ha, Ra. Ada apa?"

"Minyak kereta an an"

"Habis?"

"Ha'a"

"Dekat mana?"

"Huu mmm tan"

"Ara pergi mana? Lepas ni nak keluar kena bagitahu abang dulu. Tak boleh dah keluar suka hati. Salah guna kebebasan. No more auto-approval"

"Kita acam rasa sempat"

"Hutan mana? Dah nak gelap. Pergi dengan siapa?"

"Bonda"

"Hmmm. Tunggu kejab"

"Jangan marah kita"

"Orang dah sedia semua tak nak guna. Lepas ni tak boleh drive sendiri. Suruh Don drive"

"Alaaaaa"

"Arahan"

"Pleaseeeee"

"Berapa kali dah minggu ni minyak habis. Rosak enjin nanti"

"Marah-marah kita astu malam cari kita"

"Masalah perempuan. Degil. Dalam kepala ada batu ke apa"

"Ada abang jeee"

24/1/2025

Daddy tak kerja?

"Tahun ni semua aktiviti sekolah inform. Abang nak pergi"

"Abang tak kerja?"

_

Daddy: Naik podium banyak tahun ni. Daddy nak pergi semua aktiviti sekolah. Hari sukan, hari anugerah, meeting dengan parents semualah apa yang ada

Umar: Daddy tak kerja?

Adam: Daddy cuti?

_

Daddy: Daddy sihat. Tengah kemas barang esok nak pergi camping

Kakak: Daddy tak kerja?

_

Raysha: Daddy tak work?

Daddy: Sampai Raysha pun tanya. Adoi

Januari, 2026

Panggil Syaitan

Pautan

"First time tau tengok pad letak acam tu"

"Memang saja panggil setan"

"Pengotor ya amat acam tong sampah busuk"

"Habis la siapa kawin dengan dia"

Feb, 2026

Ibu jari kaki

"Bang"

"Tadi hantar video suruh orang tengok"

_

"Tengok apa lama ngat"

"Selidik ni kejab. Kenyang la tunang. Ibu jari kaki besar hahahahaha

"Dia ni kannnn"

"Tak la besar macam nasi kandar mari, tapi okey la. Confirm …"

"Confirm apa, bang?"

"Hahahahahahahaha"

Bertahan atau Pergi

3:03 pagi

Hai Ummi,

Im tertidur di rumah Ocio. Lepas lebih kurang sejam, Ocio kejutkan Im dan suruh balik. Im malas nak memandu — nak balik lepas Subuh tapi Ocio tetap suruh balik. Ocio kata kasihan isteri menunggu dan risau di rumah. Ara tahu Im ada di sini dan tak kisah tapi Ocio tetap berkeras.

Ocio nampak sihat. Hari ini dia minta Im botakkan kepala dia — macam simbol kelahiran semula. Nampak lebih ceria dan bersemangat. Tadi Ocio minum hot chocolate Aik Cheong, Im minum teh O' kunyit. Kami makan kuetiau Hailam sama-sama. Sedap. Beli di kedai RM 11 sebungkus. 

Ocio beritahu bulan depan dia perlu hadir prosiding pengesahan lafaz cerai. Peguam sudah uruskan semuanya. Im tak terlibat. Ocio urus sendiri. Tak nampak dia menyesal atau sedih. Im pun tak tanya. Dia suka bila Im datang berbual kosong. Hari ini Im tak bawa anak-anak.

Ocio minta Im carikan rumah. Im sudah jumpa sebuah rumah teres dua tingkat dengan lima bilik tidur. Im sebenarnya berharap Ocio tak jadi pindah. Rumah yang dia duduk sekarang besar dan selesa. Mudah untuk berkumpul setiap kali Hari Raya atau sesiapa pulang bercuti di Malaysia. 

Ocio masih tenang seperti biasa. Dia tak marah. Tak pernah melawan dengan kemarahan. Mungkin itulah lelaki yang sering diimpikan ramai wanita — tenang dan matang. Dia lebih banyak menanggung, memendam, dan cuba mempertahankan keluarga walaupun diri sendiri terluka.

Im harap Ocio akan dapat kehidupan yang lebih baik. Sudah lama dia memikul semuanya seorang diri. Kita tak mampu memilih takdir, tapi kita punya pilihan untuk bertahan atau meninggalkan. Ocio memilih untuk meninggalkan meskipun sukar, dan mungkin itulah jalan sebenar menuju kebahagiaan. 

Nota: Ary telah melantik diri sendiri sebagai Presiden Kelab Duda Malaysia (PKDM)

Video

Pautan

"Hahahaha memang pun"

"Tak baik tau"

Perempuan

"Pilih satu cukup la. Tamak betul"

"Semua best"

"J7 ke Tank 300 ke iCAUR?"

"Senanya nak latest J8 tapi tak cantik so J7"

"Habis tu ambil je la J7"

"Tapi Tank 300 acam best"

"Berapa seat?"

"5"

"Ooo"

"J7 pun"

"Ingat 7"

"Tank 500"

Januari, 2026

Rezeki Berbeza

Setiap orang itu direzekikan dengan apa yang telah ditetapkan untuknya.

03.07.2025

Acheh

Dalam tinjaun akhbar KOMPAS baru-baru ini di Indonesia, wilayah Acheh menunjukkan jumlah pemerkosaan yang paling tinggi berbanding wilayah Indonesia yang lain. Anehnya, Acheh adalah wilayah yang paling kuat beragama.

Catatan 2025

Doa Kesembuhan

اللَّهُمَّ رَبَّ النَّاسِ أَذْهِبِ الْبَأْسَ، اشْف أَنْتَ الشَّافِي، لَا شِفَاءَ إِلَّا شِفَاؤُكَ، شِفَاءً لَا يُغَادِرُ سَقَمًا

Transliterasi:

Allahumma Rabbannāsi adhhibil-ba’sa, ishfi anta ash-Shāfī, lā shifā’a illā shifā’uka, shifā’an lā yughādiru saqaman.

Terjemahan:

“Ya Allah, Tuhan sekalian manusia, hilangkanlah penyakit ini dan kurniakanlah kesembuhan. Engkaulah Maha Penyembuh. Tiada kesembuhan melainkan kesembuhan daripada-Mu, iaitu kesembuhan yang tidak meninggalkan sebarang penyakit.”

Rujukan:

Sahih al-Bukhari, Kitab al-Tibb, Hadis no. 5742

24.10.2023 / 4:33 pagi

On being unable to love

"What is hell? I maintain that it is the suffering of being unable to love."

— Fyodor Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov

August, 2025

Hong Kong

Hong Kong has been listed as a Muslim-friendly destination among non-Muslim jurisdictions. One distinctive feature of Hong Kong’s social landscape is the Tanka people. They are a distinct ethnic group in Hong Kong and southern China, traditionally associated with a maritime way of life. Historically, the Tanka were fisherfolk and boat dwellers, often living on boats or in floating villages. They possess unique cultural practices, including their own linguistic variants, customs, and social organization. Today, many Tanka people have transitioned to land-based communities, yet they continue to preserve significant aspects of their maritime heritage.

Personal Notes

4 September 2024

Harraz / Harriz

"Tadi ada tengok dekat mana lupa Harriz / Harraz maksud sama"

"Katanya takde dalam kitab"

"Ye la"

"Astu lupakan aje"

"Harraz okey dalam ni? Ibu moody eh? Hahaha rasa nak anak lagi"

"………"

"Elok dapat sepasang. Letak 'Hara' 'Harraz' haaa"

"Siapa ntah nak beranak"

"Balik je moody. Nak berteka-teki. Salah apa hari ni pulak hmmm"

14-02-2026

June Story II

June really isn't kind to me.

Just now, I had to push my motorcycle all the way home, and now I found out that the call recording from June 3 was accidentally deleted. I wrote about it in this blog, thinking I had saved it, but I didn't. I checked the trash and drafts, but it's not there anymore. The recording was about the artwork I made. The artwork is still there... but the conversation is gone.

I'm really sad.

June Story I

Dhaka — 5 June

Hello, June.

The month when everything collapsed 12 years ago. Still, June hasn't been particularly kind to me. My motorcycle ran out of fuel in the middle of the road while I was riding home from work. I pushed it to a petrol station, only to find out that the station itself had run out of petrol. I tried to reach the secretary, but the signal wasn't even one bar. I continued pushing the motorcycle toward the hotel, almost 25 kilometres. It was already late evening when I started heading back. The day was getting dark. The road became busy with many vehicles.

During the last 10 kilometres, a small lorry stopped and offered to help. I finally reached home. I broke my fast with a bottle of plain water. I was thirsty. Then I sprawled on the sofa and put an ice pack on my balls. For men, this is something worth doing occasionally during rest periods while listening to music or reading a book (though I don't do it regularly; I prefer ice baths). Some make this a daily habit, 3 times a day for 10–15 minutes, because they believe it helps increase spermatogenesis and boost testosterone levels.

Hargai Isteri

 

"Sebenarnya, laki nak apa? Wife beria masak memalam pun di curangi"

"Hati manusia mudah berubah. Kadang-kadang isteri jangan sampai memberi berlebihan. Sebab bini baik dia buat perangai. Kalau bini tak baik, tak adanya buat hal luar rumah. Ni balik rumah tenang-tenang, mulut atas makan yang bawah mudah dapat jadi boring"

"Pun ada"

"Ramai laki sayang bini bila bini baik dan tenang apatah lagi yang rajin masak dan pandai menghargai. Ujian hadir bila hidup terlalu selesa, manusia lupa menghargai. Yang jenis ni bodoh. Dia tak tahu perempuan baik susah dapat"

_

"Perempuan baru tahu ke laki  jenis suka makan tengah malam ni tak berapa elok perangai?"

"Laki nak makan, perempuan masak aje. Sayang, kan? Tapi abang takde pun lapar memalam. Kita aje mmm kita jahat ke?"

"Perempuan lapar normal. Laki tak boleh banyak makan. Selalu kena puasa. Ulama pesan, perut pusat nafsu"

"Senanya suka membuli aje, kan? Ada maid tak berbayar astu ambil kesempatan. Wife dah tidur senang aje panggil. Nak makan, petik aje. Gitulah yang kita nampak"

"Kadang-kadang laki tengok ayah dia macam tu, dia tiru"

_

"Abang dari muda memang dah letak niat kalau kawin nak ada tukang masak. Abang tak nak makan jadi isu. Abang tak prefer isteri yang masak. Abang cuma prefer suri rumah. Asal anak kenyang, sudah. Abang tak nak beli kedai tu sebab nak ada tukang masak"

"Pelik senanya wife tak kerja astu ada tukang masak"

"Sebab masak tu penat. Lepas masak nak kemas. Habis kemas, berderet lagi kerja. Abang tak nak bini abang penat. Duduk rumah cukup jaga anak. Tu yang penting. Abang tak pandai masak. Nak bergilir (masak) dengan bini memang tak la jawabnya"

20260531

Tambah Anak

"Yela, ni budak. Kalau kita beli baru hari first trip baru nak pakai risau dia tak selesa. Kena biasakan dia pakai dalam sebulan sebelum gerak"

"Astu comot astu tak comel"

"Habis nak buat macam mana itu je cara yang ada. Budak kena benda yang dia familiar"

"Astu ada hati tambah anak hihihihi"

20260530

Program

"Program apa ni?"

"Entahlah, abang"

Berasa Cukup

"Kerja abang dekat Jepun dah habis kontrak. Orang tu suruh sambung, abang tak nak. Semua pekerja balik esok"

"Kenapa? Rugi?"

"Dalam hidup, bila kita rasa "Okey, cukup", kita berhenti tanpa perlukan apa-apa sebab. Nak kata terlalu untung — tak, tapi berbanding modal yang keluar, dapat 3 kali ganda. Cukuplah tu untuk abang"

"Acam orang tasawwuf"

_

"Company dekat Turki dah ada orang take over. Sayonara Turki. Abang nak labur tempat lain pulak"

"Kenapa, bang?"

"Bosan. Dah tua kot"

"Acam mana maksud bosan dalam fikrah abang?"

"Dah lama sangat buat. Nak cuba benda lain"

"Ooohhh"

"Bisnes okey, untung. Kalau nak jual, jangan jual masa nak bankrap. Jual masa profit tengah cantik. Performance bagus. Senang cari buyer. Harga pun tinggi"

20260531

Cinta

"Dia sakit apa?"

"Kanser darah"

"Kadang-kadang abang pun macam tu dulu. Kadang okey, kadang down. Bukan senang nak lawan, tambah lagi kalau sendiri"

"Kita baca aje teringat abang"

"Abang tak nak ingat. Ada luka, ada juga gembira"

"Kalau kita an, ase acam tak nak hidup dah…sedih…"

"As long as the person I love is happy, I'm happy, even if I'm not the person behind their smile. You can't be selfish in love. Love should make you think about another person's happiness more than your own. Falling in love is easy. Staying in love is hard. Fighting for love is even harder. Nothing in love is easy. You need to endure every circumstance that comes along to test it. Sometimes, we are strong enough to stay together. Sometimes, leaving is the only way to save both hearts. The best part is that we get to know ourselves. The worst part is…knowing that no one stays forever, no matter how much love exists between two people. 

"I never fail to fall for your words"

"I found you, and you made my path easier. But first, I had to go through heartbreak. Walking barefoot on thorns, bleeding, suffering in silence. I became someone else after the storm. I am no longer my old self. Sometimes I miss who I used to be, but no one walks through a storm and remains the same person"

20260601

Umar

Daddy: Kakak tengah down. Jaga lisan bila bercakap. Umar tak nampak Kakak menangis?

Umar: What made her drop out?

Daddy: Kenapa Umar tak tanya Kakak?

Umar: I wasn't emotionally prepared

Daddy: Welcome to adulthood, young man. Nobody promised you a happy land. We were created to be tested by Allah

Umar: Can I return my test paper and ask for a simpler version?

Daddy: Kalau boleh, semua orang pun nak

_

Daddy: You'll be a father in less than ten years

Umar: Oh, I don't like babies. No, thank you

Daddy: Macam dulu tak suka adik. Haa sekarang macam mana

Umar: That's a future Umar problem. Poor guy. I'll make dua for him

20260531

Hasha

Hasha: Kenapa nama Asha?

Daddy: Sempena nama orang baik-baik, cantik, pandai, cerdik, hormat orang tua, akhlak terpuji, selalu senyum, ceria, suka ketawa, rajin baca buku, tak mudah putus asa. Ada satu ayat dalam Quran ada perkataan Hasha

Februari, 2026