“Someone who loves you wholeheartedly and someone who accepts you wholeheartedly are two different things.”

Singapore

29-05-2026

Umar: What happened banana girl?

Huda: I quit medical school. Guess I’m just dumb

Umar: Nah. I’m dumb premium edition

_

Umar: You look emotionally bankrupt

Huda: Whatever

Umar: You quit? Why? You’re like… the smartest person I know. At least in my head

Huda: Fair enough

I was sitting on the rooftop, looking at the night sky, thinking about you. That little corner still holds memories I keep close. Then I heard a car door. I climbed down and saw Huda standing near the gate. I was shocked to see her there.

Tonight, I climbed up there again with coffee. It’s 4 a.m. now. Everyone is asleep. The sky is bright, and for the first time in a long while, I looked up at the moon and truly admired her beauty. The moon is beautiful, just like you.

I watched a few scenes from Puteri Gunung Ledang — not the full film. First the Keraton dance, then Bisik Batin. M. Nasir played Hang Tuah in the film version, while Stephen Rahman played him in the theatre production. You really adored him. I got jealous. 

Before that, I was listening to “Tinggi-tinggi Gunung Kinabalu, tinggi lagi sayang sama kamu.” Earlier, my wife sent me a video of a Sumandak dancing to several traditional Sabah dances with the song playing in the background.

Then the playlist moved to Shanon Shah’s Dilanda Cinta, and later Kuimpikan Bintang by Sean Ghazi. Did you ever send me one of his songs before? It sounded so familiar, but I can’t remember any of them. My memories betray me.

I wish I could talk to you about Huda. To ask for advice or guidance. She’s been crying all day. I want to contact you, but I know I can’t, even though every part of me still wants to. How has your Eid been so far? I hope everything is good on your side.

I should probably climb down before my wife wakes up. She already warned me not to sit up here at night. But this rooftop feels calm… almost like sitting beside you for a little while, listening to your stories or your heartbeat.

I miss you, sayang. I miss you so much.