4:36 a.m.

There are days when I simply cannot stop thinking about you. Yesterday was one of them. I don’t know why but you occupied my mind completely. You flooded my thoughts, as if you were lodged somewhere in my head, unable to find the exit.  This lovelorn ache sits heavy within me.

You were always so at ease in the kitchen. You loved to cook. You loved baking bread, though I never told you how much I liked buns. When Eid came around, you would make biscuits—especially semperit and tart nenas. I never really ate them. You also loved making kuah kacang.

I often wished I could visit your home—taste your cooking, admire your smile, listen to your stories, maybe even borrow a book or two to take with me. I wanted, in some quiet way, to have a small piece of life with you. Something I could carry as a memory, and return to with each passing day.

• Reports say Khamenei has been assassinated.

• Reports also say the Strait of Hormuz is closed.

• The Middle East looks very unstable right now.

• The Strait of Hormuz carries about 20% of the world’s oil.

• If it really closes, oil prices will rise fast.

• Malaysia Airlines has cancelled some flights to the region.

• If this continues, the global economy could change.

• We might face another recession.

• It could be worse than past crises.

• I think I made the right decision to return here.

• I love Costa Rica, but it is close to Honduras and El Salvador.

• The US has strong influence in those countries.

• There are also more reports about drug problems in Costa Rica.

• Staying in Cyprus felt stressful and risky.

• Israel and the US may not stop their strategic plans.

• Many people say Palestine is already facing severe humanitarian damage.

• There are fears the same could happen in Syria and Lebanon.

• There may be a bigger plan behind all this.

• Many people are not prepared if things escalate.

01032026

"Mesti abang terlalu terluka terpaling dalam, kan?"

"Bukan Ara dah ubatkan ke?"

"Acam tak berkesan aje"

"Apa tanda orang sayang kita?"

"Mmmm…caring?"

"Lagi?"

"Protective?"

"Bila orang sayang kita atau kita sayang orang, rasa kasih sampai pada diri kita atau pada orang yang kita sayang"

_

"Mana ada orang berkasih tak terluka"

"Ase acam kita banyak aje lukakan hati abang"

"Rasa macam abang yang banyak lukakan hati Ara"

_

"Kenapa kita nak bercakap tentang luka bila kita boleh bercakap tentang bahagia?"

"Kita nak tahu aje. Tak salah pun"

"Manusia terbentuk dari sejarah luka. Tanpa memahami luka, manusia tak hargai bahagia. Kalau kita nak pulih, kita perlu lalui proses emotional processing. Kita kena kenal, kena namakan, kena fahami apa yang kita lalui untuk betul-betul sembuh. Kalau kita mengelak, emotional avoidance kita panggil, luka kita susah sembuh. Mungkin jadi lebih parah. Luka sebenarnya takkan sembuh cuma kita belajar hidup dengan luka yang kita ada. Dengan memahami luka, kita dapat membentuk kematangan emosi, bina empati, dan menjadi lebih bijaksana. Kita perlu ada keupayaan untuk terima dan proses pengalaman pahit secara sihat walaupun susah"

Mac, 2026

"Mana eh naik zip line yang best? Survey kejab"

"Alaaaa abang survey sendiri"

"Kalau kakak angkat punya trip, dari tempah tiket pilih hotel sampai makan siap itinerary boleh buatkan. Kalau abang suruh haram nak buat. Sini nombor kakak angkat nak complaint kejab"

"Tak bolehhhh"

"Laki dia tak reti ke nak plan trip?"

"Laki tak function"

"……………"

"Suami kita function teruk. Bab tu kita acam tak reti nak buat apa"

"Laki dia reti buat apa? Anak?"

"Asenya acam susah dapat. Katanya buat sebab tanggungjawab"

"Tu tengah mesej ke?"

"Ha'a"

"Patut tak layan abang cakap mata tengok handphone. Kawin dua la macam ni"

Mac, 2026