Tuesday, April 21, 2026

Siang

"Tak ada jual CD dah. Dulu dekat sini ada kedai jual kaset dengan CD. Kaset dulu mahal. Paling-paling RM 25"
"Abang beli kaset apa?"
"Lagu rock. Simpan sampai sekarang. Abang minat piring hitam tapi dulu mahal. Typewriter pun abang tak mampu beli"
"Typewriter? Untuk apa?"
"Zaman dulu kalau orang tak pandai tulis surat rasmi, dia cari typewriter. Typewriter tulis dapat upah"
"Tak pernah dengar. First time"
"Dulu orang susah, buta huruf mana reti mengarang sendiri. Abang dulu berangan nak beli tapi tak pandai guna. Salah satu huruf, tulis lain"
_

"Ra, kita pergi kedai haiwan situ kejab, boleh?"
"Abang nak beli apa?"
"Selain nursery, abang kan suka kedai haiwan"
"Please abang, no more haiwan"
"Abang nak beli ikan bagi Ara"
"Ikan?"
"Ha ikan letak dalam balang kaca bulat. Letak batu warna-warni, letak rumpai. Romantik, kan?"
"Untuk kita?"
"Ye. Letak dalam bilik kerja Ara tapi jangan lupa bagi makan kang mati"
"Astu kalau kucing abang makan acam mana?"
"Dia tak makan. Ikan hiasan, kecil je"
"If that’s what makes you happy, I’m okay with it"
"Romantik, kan? Bagi ikan. Nanti kalau Ara stres ke tengok dia. Boleh hilang stres"
"Terima kasih, abang"
_

"Ara tak happy eh dapat ikan?"
"Taklah"
"Ni…bunga…taklah bunga sangat. Small bouquet…abang buat tadi"
"Comelnyaaaaa"
"Kecil dari tapak tangan. Tu je barang abang jumpa dekat kebun"
"It's so cute!"
"Tak cantik sangat. Abang tak pandai susun"
"Cantik, abang"
"Wildflower, akar pokok, daun kering, rumput, ranting"
"Rajin aje buat craft. Thanks, love"
"Nanti abang bagi bunga. Abang kena sayang Ara ikut love language Ara bukan dengan cara abang"
"I’m okay with what you give me. You don’t have to overthink everything or figure me out all the time. Breathe. Live. Love doesn’t have to feel this heavy"
"Okey"
"My emotions are my responsibility, not yours to carry. Just being here is enough"


Malam

"Ehh dinosaur"
"Banyak tau movie best"
"Lama tak tengok tv"
"Now?"
"Abang nak tengok rugby kalau ada"
"Bisa di atur masss"
_

"Sampai terlondeh hihihi"
"Aip! Tutup mata. Nampak punggung tu"
"Calah dia tak pakai cepende"
"Lain tengoknya"
"Astu depan mata. Abang ajar"
"Apa abang"
_

"Yeayyyyy! Golllll!"
"Mana ada gol, Ara. Adeh"
"Came aje"
"Bukan main bola"
_

"Encem-encem, ketak-ketak, punggung mantap hihihi"
"Ey! Situ pulak. Tukar channel lain"
_

"Orang suruh tengok game. Dia tengok benda lain"
"Laju nau lari"
"Yela nak bawa lari bola"
"Acam bawa lari hati kita. Dup dap dup dap hihihi"
"Hahaha mengada"


20260419

Monday, April 20, 2026

"Bukan malas layan. Tak nak layan lagi"
"Acam tu ke layan wife?"
"Okey la dari abang layan perempuan lain"
"Dah layan pun kan"
_

"Okey pagi ni?
"Tak"
"Anak buat perangai?"
"Tak pun"
"Kalau letih, tinggal semua. Tak payah buat apa-apa"
"Okey"
"Dah makan?"
"Belum"
"Kembar biar Jaz jaga. Ara pergi berkebun ke tidur ke. Rehat. Anything I can do to make your day easier?"
"Abang, do you love me?"
_

"Before I make any assumptions and turn this fight into a war which I don’t want. Tell me what’s on your mind"
"Can I be honest?"
"It’s better than letting this turn into a war and dragging it on for weeks"
_

"Anyone can have trust issues. It doesn’t matter how long it happened. Something that’s broken needs time to heal"
"Am I someone you don’t trust?"
"Not being given access to everything you want doesn’t mean I don’t trust you"
"If you don’t trust me, and you don’t love me… then what am I to you?"
"Mana pulak abang tak sayang"
"Tanya hati abang… jujur dengan diri abang sendiri"
"Ara…"
"A man who cannot leave his past cannot build a new life"
_

"Ara tanya abang banyak soalan. Ara tengah nilai abang dalam hati Ara?"
"Abang rasa macam tu?"
"Ara dah penat dengan abang?"
_

"I’m working on myself. Please give me some time before you make any decision, if you already have something in your mind. These past two years really tough. More than ever"
"She is so much bigger in your world than you realize, abang"
_

"Since we met, I’ve felt sorry for you. The hardest part is seeing you still holding on to someone else"
"Ara…"
_

"You can’t get mad because she's not choosing you. You can’t expect her to wait forever. She deserves to know where you’re going"
"I know"


Panggilan telefon
April 17, 2026
Dubai

Sunday, April 19, 2026

April 18, 2026
8:45 malam

"Abang? Tak pergi Spain?"
"Abang tahu Ara penat. Banyak minggu dah abang tinggal Ara"
"Kita okey aje"
"Work can’t wait but you come first"
_

"Ara dah makan?"
"Belum"
"Ni ada Japanese food. Tadi abang suruh Don bungkus"
"Tak lapar"
"Makan la sikit. Ada Italian food baru bukak. Kalau nak cuba, esok kita pergi"
"It's okay, abang"
_

"Ara tak suka tengok abang ke?"
"Taklah"
"Makan la sikit. Kalau tak suka abang pun tak apa tapi kena jaga diri. Makan la. Sedap ni"
"…………"
"Buka mulut. Makan. Hari tu cakap kalau boleh bernafas pun nak suruh abang buat"
"Takde selera"
"Abang tak nak jadi penyebab Ara sakit jadi Ara kena makan"
_

"Ara…bagi abang 2 tahun. Kalau lepas 2 tahun Ara rasa abang tak berubah dan Ara dah penat dengan semua ni, Ara boleh buat keputusan…abang minta maaf lukakan hati Ara…"
"Fix yourself, Tiger. I don’t want to lose you. Do it for your own good"
"Yes, ma’am"
_

April 19, 2026
12:30 malam

"Ra…bangun…jom kita keluar"
"Abang…"
"Jom keluar"
"Pergi mana?"
"Jalan-jalan"
_

"Sorry abang kacau Ara tidur"
"Balas dendam kan"
"Jet lag"
"Beria"
_

"Peluk kuat sikit"
"Dahhh. Eee mengada"
_

"Ra nak apa? Teh tarik? Kopi? Nescafe? Abang handsome ke eh silap hee"
"Air mineral"
"Botol biru? Putih? Hijau?"
"Hijau"
"Nak makan? Nasi goreng? Sandwich? Sizzling? Nasi campur?"
"Abang makan apa?"
"Lai chi kang dengan mi hailam
"Samalah"
_

"Abang tak okey Ara tanya banyak soalan, bukan banyak soalan, soalan deep, killer. Macam mana la tak kena hukuman gantung, peguam tanya soalan maut. Ara tanya soalan falsafah ke abang boleh jawab"
"Jawapan tak penting, abang. Kejujuran yang penting"
"Soalan tu buat abang tak selesa. Real talk makes me uncomfortable. Really"
"You need to sit with yourself to understand yourself"
"Yeah, but"
"I’m not going to apologize for that"
_

"Abang, kita nak bawa"
"Hati-hati dengan lori…bas"
"Jangan tidur tau"
"Ha"
_

"Okey la abang tidur dari abang raba"
"Gatal"
"Eh tak suka ke kena raba?"
"Mandi, bang. Yang itu kalau real talk suka aje kan"
"7 jam pun boleh hahaha"
_

"Thanks, love. Lamanya tak ride"
"Sekarang pun boleh 'ride' hehehehe"
"Sakit dada, kan? Astu rehat"
"Heeee"
"Bang"
"Quickie, quickie"
"You’re hard to resist, aren’t you?"
"Me or my thing? Ehem"
"Which one is the gentleman?"
"Both are charmingly gentlemanly and sweet"
"Really?"
"Once you taste me, even a thousand years won’t make you forget. I am an unforgettable man. The one you will run after, begging and crying. The name you try to forget, but never fully can"
"Amboi, bang!"
"Hahahahaha"

Saturday, April 18, 2026

“I have a strong tendency, a bad habit that I believe no one knows about. I tend to repeatedly read things that hurt me hundreds of times. My mind remembers the words, letters, lines, and every symbol. I memorize them. I write them down until my heart feels like it is bleeding and screaming in pain”


"Kenapa Ara tak tahu pasal ni?"
"Yela dah tak ada dalam fail. Tu kan catatan lama. Puluh tahun dulu"
"Banyak yang abang sorok?"
"Cukuplah apa yang Ara dah baca dalam fail tu"
"Kenapa mesti sembunyikan?"
"Dah seminggu Ara tanya banyak soalan. Semua abang jawab. Abang penat. Bagi abang ruang sikit, boleh? Abang kan tengah kerja"
"Okay, sorry"
"Abang trauma berlapis-lapis. Ada dokumen abang minta doktor pisahkan sebab tu Ara tak dapat baca. Ada benda yang Ara tak boleh tahu"
"Tapi Kajang mesti tahu. Betul tak?"
"Abang tak nak gaduh"
"See"
"Apa?"
"Ara nak akses fail tu"
"Tak boleh"
"Kenapa tak boleh?"
"It’s my ugly side. My first and worst nightmare. Don’t cross that line. Kali ni je abang minta, jangan. Kali ni je. Abang tak boleh tanggung dah, Ara. Yang ada ni pun dah tak tertanggung"
"Kenapa Kajang tak tahu? Kenapa abang tak bagitahu dia?"
"She respects my boundaries. Doesn’t ask for much"
"Abang nak cakap Ara tak hormat abang? Macam tu?"
"Bukan, bukan. Dah, Ara. Abang sakit dada. Fail tu Ara tak boleh akses. Muktamad. Move on"
"No"
"Don’t do that… it will break my heart"
_

"If you knew, you wouldn’t look at me the same way. Please, can we just skip this? Not all trauma needs to be addressed"
"I value transparency"


Panggilan telefon
20260416
Dubai
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