"Deep love is meaningless. What can deep love do for you? Nothing. People don’t care about your love. They want to breathe the same air as you, live with you, share the same toothbrush, hold your hand, lie next to you, surprise you with gifts or visits. They want presence. They don’t want someone caring from a distance. Spending years losing sleep just worrying about them. That doesn’t matter. People talk about effort and presence. No one talks about effort in absence. Do people even care that they can sleep peacefully because someone else is watching over them? Do they really care? No. Never. No one appreciates the army or the police who protect them… because they don’t see that effort. I don’t want any love. It’s just an illusion. There is no love in this world. I learned too late that people love you with their own terms and conditions. When I realized it, I had already drowned, unable to breathe, too helpless to live. So tell me… what is deep love really worth? I’m tired of trying to convince people of my love, my worth… until I just gave up and stopped caring. People dump what they don’t want. People won’t dump something priceless. They dump trash, and I’m one of that trash. Don’t talk to me about love. I hate it. I hate myself more. I hate everything. I’m just trash that you tried to build, and you ended up hurting yourself. Thank you for trying to save me… but I can’t be saved. I’m sorry for pulling you into my chaos. I’m really sorry…”
"I can’t fully understand what you’re feeling… but I know it hurts"
"I’m tired… of everything"
_
"Ara dengar apa?"
"Something worth listening to"
"Falsafah?"
"That’s for senior citizens"
"Takkan dengar ceramah agama?"
"Nooo"
_
"Ni peluk-peluk nak apa?"
"Nak cinta abang hihihi"
"Tak habis lagi"
"Tak pernah habis"
_
"Kenapa Ara dengar tu?"
"Because it’s real… honest… it feels human. And abang… you’re not empty. You’re just protecting yourself"
_
"Abang… I see what people don’t see. Your quiet effort… the way you love through sacrifice. Presence matters, and as humans, we chase what we can see and touch"
"Tahu. Faham"
"What you give, it matters too. More than you think"
"Apalah guna sayang…kalau tak dapat di buktikan…"
"Not everyone can carry love the way you do… and still stay kind. You’re one of the most beautiful souls I’ve ever met. So selfless… so rare. Thank you for letting me into your life"
_
"Ara nak ambil hati abang je kan…"
"Don’t you trust me?"
"I do…"
"It just feels like… all this time, you haven’t really let me in. You don’t give me the chance to truly know you. There’s always a little distance between us. Why is that…? Are you scared of getting hurt?”
"……………"
"I just wish I could hold you more… and feel closer to you all the time. Sometimes I feel like you’re a little far from me… even when you’re here. I know you show love through touch… but I just wish I could hold you more often. It feels like you keep a part of yourself away… like I can’t really reach you fully. Sometimes it feels like I’m only really close to you when things get intimate…"
"I can’t broach this topic. Can we talk later?"
"Sure, abang"
"Banyak sangat. Abang tak boleh proses"
_
"Ra, abang nyawa dulu ada banyak tapi sejak dengan Ara, nyawa ada satu je. Tak tahu mana nyawa yang banyak tu pergi"
"Effortless funny"
"Betul, Ra. Satu je. Ni pun dah sesak nafas, sakit kepala, sakit dada"
"Am I causing that?"
"Ra, banyak mana Ara sayang abang? Banyak sangat ni…jangan sayang abang banyak sangat. Abang tak biasa orang sayang abang banyak sangat"
"Banyaknya banyak sangat"
"Orang serius dia gelak"
"Kita pun serius hihihi"
"Tengok tu"
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