"Ra…abang tak boleh tidur"

"Kerja okey?"

"Okey"

"Astu?"

"Mana tahu mata degil"

"Bang"

"Hmm"

"Jom pergi London. Kita nak shopping"

"Bila?"

"Next month"

"Beli tiket"

"Flight lama sangat"

"Habis nak naik apa? Bot lagi lambat. Jalan atas air? Ke terbang macam Goku?"

"Paris okey tak?"

"Okey"

"Swiss?"

"Expensive taste huu"

"Italy?"

"Ara nak beli apa?"

"Nak habiskan duit abang"

_

"Lofoten lawa. Nak pergi?"

"Jauh tak?"

"Google la"

"Kita tak nak bersusah-payah semata-mata nak travel"

"Tahu"

"Luxury vacay?"

"Boleh la tapi shopping tak ada"

"Tak nak"

_

"Ara nak pergi mana abang ikut je"

"Kita ikut abang"

"Pulak"

"Kita kawin sebab tak nak fikir. Abang buat semua"

"Ramai bini abang tengok plan holiday untuk keluarga"

"Maybe dia orang kawin dengan laki tak guna. Agaknyalah"

"Mana Ara tahu? Pandai je fitnah orang"

"Bistu kalau perempuan kena fikir bercuti dekat mana, pilih hotel, beli tiket, itinerary — baik tak payah kawin. Kita kawin mestilah sebab nak semua laki buat. Kita follow aje. Kalau boleh an, otak pun nak tinggal. Tak nak bawa, berat"

"Amboi. Nampak sangat budak sekolah perempuan"

"Perempuan maskulin aje buat semua tu"

"Ego tinggi"

"Mestilah. Siapa aje takde ego"

"Orang ego 10, dia beribu-ribu"

"Baru tahu ke?"

"Lama dah tahu. Ego budak sekolah perempuan paling ego sekali huu"

"Tahu tak apa"

"Dengar pun tahu ego tinggi tambah pulak lawa. Lagilah"

_

"Berapa orang mengorat Ara dulu?"

"Ramaiii"

"Apa type Ara?"

"Dulu tak pernah tanya? Kenapa sekarang?"

"Saja isi masa lapang sibuk nak tahu"

"Handsome, tall, older, high IQ, smells good, businessman, fun"

"Huyooo!"

"Tak nak kita dengar cakap laki tak handsome. Dahlah tak handsome, suruh kita cam tu cam ni follow cakap dia. Eee sorry-lah. Pilih syurga mestilah yang handsome. Pandang aje dah senyum. Sejuk hati"

_

"Kenapa Ara suka abang?"

"You’re not thirsty for girls’ attention. No woman can shake you"

"Ara percaya abang macam tu?"

"Certainly"

Panggilan telefon

15/9

London — 25 September

London doesn’t feel like London anymore. Trash everywhere, piled up like Mount Everest. Drug addicts along the alley. Don’t walk alone at night. London isn’t really safe anymore. The Metropolitan Police reported that London has a high rate of theft and robbery compared with other major cities.  

Touch down in London last night at 9:05 PM. Check in to the hotel, take a cold shower, pray 1 rakaat Witir, and went to sleep. I managed to sleep for six hours — without nightmares. It was a deep sleep. Then woke up, drank a glass of water, did ten push-ups, cleaned myself, and walked to the mosque for Fajr prayer.

It was a good day.

24 September — Thursday

There is still a battle I need to fight — in my heart. I fought, and I survived. I am no longer in a quandary. I do not belong to the past. I don't want to go back to the past. The past belongs to the past. The headache came back again. This time, it is quite serious. Maybe because I lack sleep and am dog-tired.

Oh yeah, I didn't have an emotional explosion, and that is the biggest win.

Come back stronger!

"Abang repair barang elektrik. Ada setengah boleh guna"

"Setenang itu?"

"Ha. Barang 2 ke 3 tahun lepas budak kutip. Tak sempat repair sebab balik"

"Sepantas itukah masa berlari? Mmm…apasal laju sangat?"

"Lambat lagi Ara nak tua"

"Annnnn"

"Amboi. Suka"

_

"Tak takut ke?"

"Takut jugak"

"Sejak bila? Asenya abang acam dah putus urat takut"

"Memang ada je nak mengata abang"

"Rindu suami. Hari tu dia senyap aje ntah kenapa. Ada masalah tak nak share"

Panggilan telefon

23-09-2026