Umar: What happened banana girl?

Huda: I quit medical school. Guess I’m just dumb

Umar: Nah. I’m dumb premium edition

_

Umar: You look emotionally bankrupt

Huda: Whatever

Umar: You quit? Why? You’re like… the smartest person I know. At least in my head

Huda: Fair enough

I was sitting on the rooftop, looking at the night sky, thinking about you. That little corner still holds memories I keep close. Then I heard a car door. I climbed down and saw Huda standing near the gate. I was shocked to see her there.

Tonight, I climbed up there again with coffee. It’s 4 a.m. now. Everyone is asleep. The sky is bright, and for the first time in a long while, I looked up at the moon and truly admired her beauty. The moon is beautiful, just like you.

I watched a few scenes from Puteri Gunung Ledang — not the full film. First the Keraton dance, then Bisik Batin. M. Nasir played Hang Tuah in the film version, while Stephen Rahman played him in the theatre production. You really adored him. I got jealous. 

Before that, I was listening to “Tinggi-tinggi Gunung Kinabalu, tinggi lagi sayang sama kamu.” Earlier, my wife sent me a video of a Sumandak dancing to several traditional Sabah dances with the song playing in the background.

Then the playlist moved to Shanon Shah’s Dilanda Cinta, and later Kuimpikan Bintang by Sean Ghazi. Did you ever send me one of his songs before? It sounded so familiar, but I can’t remember any of them. My memories betray me.

I wish I could talk to you about Huda. To ask for advice or guidance. She’s been crying all day. I want to contact you, but I know I can’t, even though every part of me still wants to. How has your Eid been so far? I hope everything is good on your side.

I should probably climb down before my wife wakes up. She already warned me not to sit up here at night. But this rooftop feels calm… almost like sitting beside you for a little while, listening to your stories or your heartbeat.

I miss you, sayang. I miss you so much.

Pagi raya

Daddy: Kenapa balik tak bagitahu? Daddy boleh ambil dekat airport

Kakak: *menangis*

Daddy: What's wrong?

Kakak: I can’t continue my studies. I dropped out

Daddy: Kakak berhenti belajar?

Kakak: *angguk*

Daddy: Okey

Kakak: You’re not disappointed?

Daddy: You tried your best. It’s okay. We’ll talk about it later

Kakak: Daddy, I’m so sorry,… I legit feel like I failed you

Daddy: I’m always proud of you. You’re doing good

"Kenapa abang kawin dengan kita? Abang kan sayang Kajang"

"Kenapa?"

"Abang okey aje kan kalau kita mati. Kan?"

_

"Kenapa ni?"

"Kita terfikir. Senanya dah lama fikir. Abang kan tak nak dia mati"

_

"…abang tak faham Ara nak apa dari abang"

"Kita pun acam tak faham diri sendiri"

_

"Ara tak bahagia dengan abang? Cuba cakap jujur"

"Bahagia aje"

_

"Kalau Ara tak happy dengan abang, bagitahu macam mana abang nak perbaiki. Abang dah cuba bahagiakan Ara…tapi kalau Ara tak bahagia…cakaplah. Kita bincang"

"I’m tired of competing with memories"

_

"Kalau Ara tak bahagia…jangan paksa diri. Jangan seksa diri. Abang nak Ara happy"

"I feel like you’re not scared of losing me"

"Siapa cakap?"

_

"I’m too drained to discuss right now, but I’m willing to save our relationship if it’s on the brink. I feel like I’ve tried to convince you, but I failed. The ball is in your court. I can’t make the decision for you"

"You’re giving up on us?"

"I never regret sharing my life with you, but if I keep hurting you in any way, I feel terrible. I want you to be happy. Your happiness matters more to me than my own. We can’t keep living together if I continue hurting you"

_

"Ara…bangun…kita solat sama"

"Sekarang pukul berapa, abang?"

"3.10"

_

"Kita nak bincang apa-apa?"

"Tak"

"Lapar?"

"Tak"

_

"Abang tahu abang buat salah yang di sengajakan. Sesiapa pun tak boleh maafkan kesalahan macam tu. Ara mungkin dah tak percayakan abang…hmm…salah abang…"

"I’m not sure what’s wrong with me, I feel like I’m overreacting"

"Abang ada sepanjang malam untuk dengar apa Ara nak cakap"

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