"Ara beli buku apa? Tengok sini"

"……………"

"Buat keputusan untuk diri sendiri. Bukan untuk orang lain, bukan untuk anak-anak. Diri sendiri kena bahagia dulu. Dan kalau satu masa nanti Ara pilih beralih arah, cakap dengan abang. Selagi kita hidup bersama, abang akan tetap sayang dan jaga Ara lebih dari nyawa abang sendiri. Abang tahu Ara sedang nilai abang. Abang minta maaf lukakan hati Ara. Kalaulah…abang bertegas…semua ni takkan jadi tapi masa tak boleh undur. Abang yang salah. Abang hampir hancurkan rumah tangga kita…rumah tangga orang lain. Abang tahu abang berdosa. Abang nak minta Ara peluang pun abang malu"

"…………"

"Abang tak nak yakinkan Ara. Abang percaya Ara pandai menilai. Abang bukan lelaki pentingkan diri. Abang lagi suka beralah asalkan orang yang abang sayang bahagia"

"Kadang-kadang…bahagia tak bererti kita tinggal di bawah bumbung yang sama, kan abang?"

"Kalau di beri pilihan…semua orang nak bahagia di bawah teduhan yang sama tanpa perlu meninggalkan…"

"Tapi kalau kita saling melukakan?"

"Tak ada pasangan yang tak saling melukakan. Kalau abang tahu abang akan curang…benda yang paling abang tak nak buat…tapi abang dah buat…abang takkan kawin dengan Ara hanya untuk hancurkan hati Ara. Abang dah hancurkan hati Ara berkali-kali"

"Maybe I'm just really tired of everything right now or I am no longer happy with this life…"

_

"Abang marah kita cakap macam tu?"

"Tak…you’re allowed to feel whatever comes. We’re human"

"No hard feelings at all?"

"Ada tapi tu kita ketepikan dulu. When you’re ready, we can talk"

"Tak nak gaduh?"

"Ara nak gaduh jom"

"Tak nak. Penat"

"Nak abang dukung?"

"Tak nak"

"Main buai?"

"Eee dah malam"

"Bihun tomyam nak?"

"Asam laksa oleh tak?"

"Boleh. Tunggu sini abang turun buat"

"Kalau abang takde acam mana…cape nak macak. Kita kan selalu lapar"

_

"Tak boleh tiup. Nabi tak bagi tiup makanan panas"

"Astu kita lapar"

"Sini abang suap"

"Abang"

"Hmm"

"Abang pernah tak bosan dengan kita?"

"Ada jugak"

"Apaaaa?"

"Tapi kalau Ara tak ada lagi bosan"

_

"Kenyang?"

"Sangat"

"Gosok gigi lepas tu tidur"

"Abang?"

"Abang pun nak tidur"

"Tidur sama tau"

"Iye"

_

"Kita sayang abang"

"Tahu"

"Tak romantik pun"

"Nak tidur dah. Esok pulak romantik"

"1,2,3,4,5,6. Kenapa abang sayang kita?"

"Kena la sayang dah bini"

"Kena? Acam terpaksa aje"

"Taklah"

"Kenapa telinga abang 2?"

"Kang Tuhan bagi 3 tak ada tempat nak letak"

"Abang…"

"Tidur, Ra. Pejam mata"

20260430

"Ara…abang minta maaf. Abang tahu susah Ara nak maafkan abang tapi…"

"Kita dah lama maafkan abang"

"Kenapa Ara maafkan abang? Ara pernah cakap 'I won't forgive a cheater'"

"I don’t judge you for what you did. I look at who you are inside"

_

"Abang tak ada hubungan istimewa dengan dia. I’ve made that clear to her. Dengan dia sendiri pun abang pernah cakap tak ada hubungan apa-apa"

"What was her response?"

"I can’t really define it"

"Marah? Sedih? Frust?"

"Entah. Tak tahu. Abang tak analisis"

_

"I analyze every feeling, every emotion, every action because I care. I want to know someone I love more deeply. Back then, I was too deeply in love. I tried to control everything just to make sure it worked even when it was tearing me down. I couldn’t give her the life she wanted. I was busy fighting every corner of my life, while she wanted what she wanted. When I let her go, a small part of me felt relieved. I just let her go. I didn’t fight. I was exhausted. Relieved that she finally gets the life she wants, like everyone else. It wasn’t a healthy relationship for her. I couldn’t make her happy. She wasn’t happy with me. Whatever I did, I only hurt her more. Whatever I said, I only made things worse. At that time, I felt that letting her go was the right thing to do. That man gives her everything. I am just a worthless man…"

"No, you’re not"

_

"Abang takut nak sayang Ara…dalam-dalam. Not everyone is ready for deep love with its chaos, messiness, jealousy, fight after fight, tears after tears. I can’t do it anymore. Maybe I just want something calm now. Something simple and safe. Not all that intense, passionate kind of love. It feels lighter, unburdened. No weight on my shoulders. I’ve learned not to love people too hard, not to make someone my home, not to build my entire world around someone else"

"Honestly, abang… that’s the kind of love I’m looking for"

"Love isn’t always a fairy tale. It’s painful. It’s inconvenient. You’re going to hurt the people you love, disappoint them, argue with them. Sometimes they’ll make you cry, and you’ll make them cry too. There’s too much emotion, too much damage. Too much of everything. There will be days when you feel like you’re boiling inside and just want to get out of it, but you’ll still find a reason to stay. A weight that was both heavy and comforting. One more day, one more minute…because you don’t want to leave them…You want to share everything. It was the best of times. It was the worst of times"

_

"Bila Ara nak cerita pulak? Asyik abang je"

"Tak nak, abang confirm jealous"

"Eh cerita pun belum"

"Dah lupa semua, bang"

"Campak masuk longkang eh"

"Tak baik tau kotorkan longkang"

_

"Abang dah tua, Ara. Abang nak hidup baik-baik je. Tak nak dah cinta-cinta tu semua…"

"Is it true that a man only falls in love once in his life?"

20260429

"Why aren’t you sleeping?"

"I was reading about tularemia. Ulceroglandular, oculoglandular"

"What’s that?"

"Plague of the Hittites"

"Never heard of Haiti having such a plague"

"The Hittite Empire. The Pharaoh killed Zannanza"

"Zannanza? Who’s that?"

"He was Suppiluliuma’s son. An Egyptian queen, Ankhesenamun, balu Tutankhamun nak berlaki. Dia tanya kalau Suppiluliuma ada anak laki, dia nak kawin. Dah sampai kena bunuh. Sebab tu jadi perang"

"Best-nya cerita. Lanjut, please"

20260426

"Hahahahaha"

"Kita tak keseorangan"

"Memang tu ke Ara tengok dulu?"

"Takkk"

"Habis tu? Tengok apa?"

"First muka, ada jambang ke tak. Second rambut. Astu tangan. Kita suka berurat. Astu dada. Chest besar sangat kita tak suka. Perutttt, tak nak boroi. Harus la ber six-pack so pinggang ada shape. Last montot berisi tanda ke gym. Montot acam bun. Sedang elok hihihihi"

"Amboi"

_

"Patut la tak pernah selamat punggung abang hahahaha"

"Eyyyy"

"Ada orang admire rupanya hahahahaha"

"Jahattttt tau"

"Terima kasih mengagumi punggung abang hehehehe tak penat main gym"

20260429

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