Saturday, February 28, 2026

Jual ayat

"Tak ada perempuan yang layan abang penuh hormat dan tertib selayaknya seorang suami dan lelaki"
"…………"
"Terima kasih, Nurhara. Abang tak nak yang lain. Cukuplah Ara sebagai pemilik jiwa abang…"
"Astu bini pun satu aje"
"Eee orang baru nak feeling. Potong stim betul la"
"Koya"
"Bagi la chan nak madah malam-malam ni"
"Tidur, bea. Esok nok masok"
"Masak Ara pun boleh. Ara tak nak abang ke hehehe"
"Jua ayak manih nok ko kito ko?"
"Apa garang memalam ni. Tidur la. Ish bising je"
"Tok soh tidur, bea. Adik belum habih bua"
"Tidur, yang. Pontianak pun dah tidur"
"Eleh"
"Pergi la tengok dekat pokok besar tu. Best je dia main buai"
"Abangggggg"
"Peluk-peluk shhhh hehehe"
"Saja kan"
"Pokok beringin…airnya…"
"Abangggggggg"
"Hehehehe tidur, tidur"


Februari, 2026

Thursday, February 26, 2026

Labah-labah

"Tengok apa, bang?"
"Tu, labah-labah"
"Lahhh. Esok kita sapu"
"Biar situ. Boleh tengok dia mengawan"
"Takde kerja ek"
"Hahahahaha"
_

"Are you okay?"
"Kepala sakit. Kajang cari abang kot. Busy dia dalam otak abang ni"
"Nape kacau laki kita? Laki dia mana?"
"Ra, abang nak baring. Sakit sangat"


Februari, 2026

Tuesday, February 24, 2026

Pernah Curang

"Bang"
"Ha dah bangun"
"Abang masak apa?"
"Macam biasa je"
"Ya Allah, berikanlah syurga untuk suami saya. Dia tak pernah susahkan saya. Baik sangat-sangat orangnya. Amiin"
_

Mata aku berkaca…mengenangkan aku pernah curang…hakikat yang tak boleh di padam lagi…


Februari, 2026

Sunday, February 22, 2026

Trak

"Main ni haa. Kenapa Ra cari abang?"
"Keto sokmo dio"
"Ra, abang nak truck satu lagi boleh?"
"Buleh. Suko deh?"
"Ha. Suka. Tapi nak truck minyak"
"Oren?"
"Ha. Ara pergi la buat kerja. Abang ada bawah katil ni. Apa-apa roger"
"Nok tidur ko?"
"Ha? Tak. Main je"
"………"
"Mata Ara kenapa? Masuk habuk? Abang rasa bilik ni dh bersih dah. Meh sini abang tiup"
"Okey je. Habis main panggil kita tau"
"Ra, Ra, Ra. Terima kasih"
"Abang…"
"Apa, Ra?"
"Dah beribu kali tau abang cakap terima kasih. Abang dah boleh stop"
"Truck ni lawa…"
"Panggil tau"
"Okey"


Februari, 2026

Friday, February 20, 2026

Mencurang

"Acam busy ngat acam tak sempat mencurang"
"Siapa? Abang?"
"Dok eh. Jirey sebeloh"
"Hahahaha buat lawak. Dalam hutan ni jiran kita pokok je"
"Mmmm"
"Mana ada busy. Pukul 3:30 dah sampai rumah. Petang main dengan kembar lepas tu pergi masjid dengar kuliah hmm busy jugak la. Sikit"
"Acam barang terbuang aje"
"Siapa? Ara ke?"
"Tidur, bang"
"Ara lapar eh?"
"Mmmm"
"Nak bihun sup?"
"Bihun tomyam oleh tak?"
"Jom turun abang masak"
"Maceh tau"


Februari, 2026

Mood

"Bang, nak peluk"
"Come"
"Acam tu aje?"
"Sini la kata nak peluk"
"Tak nak argue? Marah ke?"
"Kenapa?"
"Baru aje kan keluar bilik air tak marah ke kita nak hug?"
"Lepas peluk ambil wuduk lain"
"Mmmm…"
_

"Bad mood?"
"Tak"
"Nak gaduh?"
"Tak pun"
"Lapar?"
"Melampau eh baru aje sahur"
"Habis tu?"
"Tak tahu"


Februari, 2026

Wednesday, February 18, 2026

Sawah Padi

Daddy: Ni nama dia sawah padi. Kita tanam pokok padi dekat sini. Bila cukup umur, kita tuai. Hasil dia kita panggil beras. Dah masak kita panggil nasi
Hasha: Daddy, tu apa?
Daddy: Tu kita panggil orang-orang. Pesawah letak untuk takutkan burung
Daneal: Burung makan padi
Daddy: Dekat sawah, ada macam-macam haiwan perosak. Sebab tu kita kena hargai nasi, susah nak tanam. Jangan bazir. Sayang kalau tak habis makan. Allah tak suka orang membazir
Raysha: Cantiknya
Daddy: Kan? Lawa kan. Dulu orang tanam guna alat nama kuku kambing. Sekarang kita guna mesin. Kejab lagi kita tengok mesin padi
_

Daddy: Jalan elok-elok atas batas
Daneal: Ayah
Daddy: Haa kenapa?
Daneal: I see a snake
Daddy: Bukan. Tu belut. Kita boleh makan. Banyak khasiat
Daneal: Can I take a picture?
Daddy: Boleh
_

Daddy: Dah pergi bendang pakai gown lepas tu mula takut baju kotor
Raysha: Baju Acha cantik
Daddy: Daddy suruh pakai seluar kan tadi?
Raysha: Acha nak cantik


Februari, 2026

Hasha

Daddy: Kalau stranger bagi candy cakap apa?
Hasha: No, thank you
Daddy: Kalau stranger ajak cari kucing hilang cakap apa?
Hasha: Asha tak nak
Daddy: Kalau stranger tarik ke dukung Hasha bawa lari, Hasha buat apa?
Hasha: Asha jerit fire! Fire!
Daddy: Good. Sentiasa pegang tangan daddy. Jangan pergi jauh dari daddy. Okey?
Hasha: Okey


Februari, 2026

Tuesday, February 17, 2026

Rantai Emas

Daddy: Esok nak pakai baju apa malam ni pilih siap-siap. Pagi daddy nak gerak awal
Raysha: Yellow!
Daddy: Malam ni yellow. Esok tiba-tiba oren. Kita tak boleh buang masa lama-lama untuk pilih baju. Lagi lama kita fikir, lagi banyak masa kita bazir. Rugi. Masa tu emas
Raysha: Acha tak nampak rantai emas
Daddy: Manalah tak berasap Ibu awak kan dengar jawapan awak ni


Februari, 2026

Sunday, February 15, 2026

Yang selalu memikat hatimu

Aku suka tulis surat, catatan dan nota ringkas. Ara jarang menulis surat, tetapi lebih gemar menulis nota. Aku pula menulis sekali-sekala sahaja — selalunya ketika menyiapkan bekal untuknya atau ketika menghadiahkan bunga. Mungkin berjangkit, Ara menulis nota hampir setiap hari. Dia selitkan di merata tempat — dalam poket baju, dompet, dashboard kereta, laci almari, kasut. Kadang -kadang dalam buku yang sedang aku baca. Paling lucu apabila dia selitkan nota dalam lipatan seluar dalam — “Menyala! Gerammm!” Aku baca lalu tersenyum, kadang-kadang ketawa kecil. Nota-nota ini aku masukkan dalam balang kaca. Sudah ada empat buah semuanya. Ara tak tahu aku simpan — mungkin dia sangka selepas baca, aku ronyok dan buang begitu saja.

Hari ini, sebelum Subuh, aku siapkan bekal dan pakaian Ara ke pejabat. Dia tak bekerja, cuma ada mesyuarat di sana.
_

Untuk Ara yang selalu menambat hati,
kenangan menjadi sehelai kain yang hangat di jemuran. masih berbau matahari, masih menyimpan kelembapan rindu yang sama seperti pagi pertama kita berjanji. aku terpesona bagaimana ia menaung begitu nyaman, ditambah-tambah lagi engkau di depanku sedang berdandan.

dua musim rasa telah kita harungi – musim panas mengajar tentang redup, menitiskan peluh-peluh sabar di tanah hidup. musim tengkujuh menuntun untuk melepaskan hal-hal ringan. dingin adalah ruang keintiman, menjadikan kita semakin rapat, terikat dan menyimpul lebih erat.

entah berapa kali gelas kita saling bertukar tempat, sehingga cukup mengenali kata maaf dan cinta yang saling melompat. antara lipatan kain di almari, ada haruman tubuhmu yang tak sengaja terbawa sampai ke baju-bajuku. menyapa pancaindera setiap waktu, membuat jiwa hanyut selalu.

kita bukan lagi dua insan saling berteka teki, tetapi dua sejoli yang saling berkongsi roti, pagi, hobi, obsesi. sembari kau berpaut pada lenganku tatkala dunia merintih, aku menjadi tugu yang teguh menempuh seribu musim, seribu gelombang, seribu iklim, dan seribu pulang.

— Jed Stellarose

Dari abang yang selalu memikat hatimu

Saturday, February 14, 2026

Ayam Goreng

Daddy: Kita berhenti kejab. Daddy nak cari bunga untuk Ibu
Hasha: Ibu tak nak bunga
Daddy: Habis Ibu nak apa?
Hasha: Ibu nak ayam goreng
Daddy: Hahahaha kejab lagi Ibu dengar haaa


Februari, 2026

Friday, February 13, 2026

Daneal

Daddy: Dah mandi belum?
Daneal: Sudah, ayah
Daddy: Siap ikut daddy hantar barang. Bawa baju
Daneal: Ayah pergi mana?
Daddy: Seberang Prai
Daneal: Seberang Prai di mana?
Daddy: Penang
Daneal: *cari peta*
Daddy: Bawa peta tu sekali. Siap cepat. Daddy tunggu bawah


Februari, 2026

Thursday, February 12, 2026

Kembar

Daddy: Ikan dah makan?
Hasha: Dah
Daddy: Kambing dah makan?
Raysha: Dah
Daddy: Arnab dah makan?
Daneal: Dah, ayah
Daddy: Luqman dah siram pokok?
Luqman: *angguk*
Daddy: Kuda siapa bagi makan?
Daneal: Saya, ayah
Daddy: Masuk rumah, pergi mandi. Lepas makan, tidur. Petang kita ada aktiviti padang


Februari, 2026

Wednesday, February 11, 2026

Luqman

Daddy: Luqman dah siap?
Luqman: *angguk*
Daddy: Jom kita pergi bengkel. Salam Ibu. Daddy tunggu dekat kereta
Luqman: *angguk*


Februari, 2026

Tuesday, February 10, 2026

Raysha

Daddy: Raysha, dah siap ke belum? Lambatnya, pilih kasut je
Raysha: Daddy! Daddy!
Daddy: Cepat! Lambat daddy tinggal
Raysha: Blue cantik. Red beautiful
Daddy: Final dah? Pilih satu nak pakai mana
Raysha: Blue
Daddy: Okay, nice color
Raysha: Acha pilih red
Daddy: Memang perangai perempuan sejati
_

Raysha: Hello, madam. Welcome to our resort
Visitor: Hello, dear. Can I have a room, please?
Raysha: How many guests?
Visitor: Four. Two adults and two children
Raysha: Daddy, Acha nak cakap apa?
Daddy: Tengok daddy


Februari, 2026

Monday, February 09, 2026

Hasha

Daddy: Hasha nak pergi mana bangun awal?
Hasha: Klinik
Daddy: Hari ni tak boleh. Daddy ada kerja dekat Langkawi
Hasha: *menangis*
Daddy: Esok kita pergi, boleh? Hari ni Hasha rehat
Hasha: Asha kuat
_

Hasha: Atok sakit apa?
Pesakit: Perut memulas. Pedih
Hasha: Asha ada ubat
Pesakit: Ubat apa?
Hasha: Daddy (…) minyak angin
Daddy: Eh, daddy pulak jadi contoh
_

Daddy: Dah habis interview orang? Jom balik
Hasha: Asha tak nak
Daddy: Daddy ada kerja. Esok ke lusa kita datang lagi
_

Daddy: Best ke pergi klinik?
Hasha: Besttttt
Daddy: Amboi. Macam doktor


Februari, 2026

Saturday, February 07, 2026

The Stories Behind Uniquely Named Colors



Pembekal Mesin Fotostat

016-412 7055
Pembekal Mesin Fotostat

Lapar & Moody

"Kenapa? Tak pernah nampak orang panjat pokok petai ke?"
"Kita yang takut"
"Tak jatuhlah. Bukannya first time. Pokok kelapa pun boleh panjat tapi tu la sekarang tanam kelapa pendek. Pendek pun bila dah besar tinggi jugak"
"Beli kedai aje. Jangan panjat pasni"
"Semalam orang nak panjat jual mahal lepas tu pagi jealous dengan pokok petai hahahahaha"
_

"Kenapa, Ra?"
"Moody"
"Berat naik? Slim je"
"Tak pun"
"Habis tu? Nak shopping?"
"Tak"
"Hmm…kenapa?"
"Entah"
_

"Nak kek? Abang pergi beli Secret Recipe"
"………"
"Ais krim?"
"………"
_

"Abang tak sayang kita"
"Mana pulak"
"Abang dah banyak tau berubah"
"Ha?"
"Abang ada perempuan lain kan?"
"Ara lapar ke apa?"
"Tengok tu"
"Tak ada"
"Sumpah?"
"Eh nak main sumpah-sumpah pulak"
_

"Ara nak makan apa? Cakap cepat. Abang nak suruh masak"
"Tak lapar"
"Abang mana ada perempuan lain"
"Sumpah?"
"Tapi nak suruh kawin 2. Macam mana ni"
"Iye, kan?"
_

"Nak kambing golek? Abang pergi sembelih kejab"
"Tak nak"
"Itak salai? Sembelih kejab je"
"Tak nakkk"
"Ikan bakar? Dalam kolam ada. Nak sungai punya, abang pergi tangkap. Kejab je tak lama"
"Tak nakkkkk"
"Habis nak apa?"
"Entah"
_

"Ara duduk rumah, abang nak pergi cari buloh. Kita makan nasi dalam buloh. Sedap"
"Mmm…"
"Lepas tu abang buat ikan bakar. Ikan nak sungai ke kolam?"
"Kita tak makan ikan sungai"
"Ha lupa. Tapi nak cuba? Sedap jugak"
"Senang ke tangkap?"
"Boleh, pasang umpan"
"Mmmm…"
"Lapar eh hehehe"


08-02-2026

Friday, February 06, 2026

My African Reading Project

North Africa

• Algeria – The Stranger by Albert Camus
• Egypt – Palace Walk by Naguib Mahfouz
• Libya – In the Country of Men by Hisham Matar
• Morocco – The Sheltering Sky by Paul Bowles
• Sudan – Season of Migration to the North by Tayeb Salih
• Tunisia – The Stone of Laughter by Hoda Barakat


West Africa

• Benin – Slave Coast by Thorkild Hansen (narrative nonfiction)
• Burkina Faso – The Abandoned Baobab by Ken Bugul
• Cabo Verde – Chiquinho by Baltasar Lopes
• Côte d’Ivoire – Allah Is Not Obliged by Ahmadou Kourouma
• Gambia – Roots by Alex Haley
• Ghana – Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi
• Guinea – The Radiance of the King by Camara Laye
• Guinea-Bissau – The Last Trumpet by Odete Semedo
• Liberia – The House at Sugar Beach by Helene Cooper (memoir)
• Mali – Segu by Maryse Condé
• Mauritania – The Desert and the Drum by Mbarek Ould Beyrouk
• Niger – Sarraounia by Abdoulaye Mamani
• Nigeria – Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe
• Senegal – So Long a Letter by Mariama Bâ
• Sierra Leone – A Long Way Gone by Ishmael Beah
• Togo – The Shadow of Imana by Véronique Tadjo


Central Africa

• Cameroon – The Old Man and the Medal by Ferdinand Oyono
• Central African Republic – The Silence of the Forest by Étienne Goyémidé
• Chad – Chadian Tale by Joseph Brahim Seid
• Republic of the Congo – Broken Glass by Alain Mabanckou
• Democratic Republic of the Congo – King Leopold’s Ghost by Adam Hochschild (narrative nonfiction)
• Equatorial Guinea – The Upright Man by Juan Tomás Ávila Laurel
• Gabon – The African Child by Camara Laye (partially set in Gabon)
• São Tomé and Príncipe – The Last Plantation by Albertino Bragança


East Africa

• Burundi – Small Country by Gaël Faye
• Comoros – The Comorian Trilogy by Ali Zamir
• Djibouti – Transit by Abdourahman A. Waberi
• Eritrea – Refugee by Oltas Abrha
• Ethiopia – Cutting for Stone by Abraham Verghese
• Kenya – The River and the Source by Margaret Ogola
• Rwanda – The Shadow of Imana by Véronique Tadjo
• Seychelles – The Memory of Her Kiss by Glynn Burridge
• Somalia – Maps by Nuruddin Farah
• South Sudan – What Is the What by Dave Eggers
• Tanzania – Paradise by Abdulrazak Gurnah
• Uganda – Kintu by Jennifer Nansubuga Makumbi


Southern Africa

• Angola – A General Theory of Oblivion by José Eduardo Agualusa
• Botswana – The No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency by Alexander McCall Smith
• Eswatini – The Kingdom of Eswatini by Garth Benneyworth (narrative)
• Lesotho – Chaka by Thomas Mofolo
• Malawi – Smouldering Charcoal by Tiyambe Zeleza
• Mauritius – The Prospector by J.M.G. Le Clézio
• Mozambique – Sleepwalking Land by Mia Couto
• Namibia – The Sheltering Desert by Henno Martin
• South Africa – Disgrace by J.M. Coetzee
• Zambia – Before Dawn by Andreya Masiye
• Zimbabwe – Nervous Conditions by Tsitsi Dangarembga


[C&P]

Panduan Hidup

1. Matahari terbit di timur dan terbenam di barat.

2. Jika tangan kanan menghala ke timur, muka kita akan menghadap utara.

3. Sungai mengalir ke arah laut.

4. Bulan juga terbit di timur dan terbenam di barat.

5. Jika tiada bulan, ada bintang yang tunjuk arah utara dan latitud kita.

6. Semakin rendah Bintang Utara di langit, semakin dekat kita dengan Khatulistiwa.

7. Jika nampak burung di tengah laut, bermakna ada daratan di arah burung itu terbang.

8. Untuk anggar masa matahari akan terbenam, letakkan tangan dengan empat jari ke arah matahari – setiap empat jari bersamaan satu jam.


19/4/2025

Sept 4

4 September 2024

“No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it is not the same river and he is not the same man.” — Heraclitus

Mongol Invasion of Baghdad (1258)

  • One of the most devastating episodes of cultural destruction in medieval history.
  • Historical accounts describe the Tigris River turning black from ink after manuscripts and books were thrown into it.
  • Many works came from Baghdad’s major libraries and scholarly institutions.
  • Modern historians debate whether this occurred literally at such a scale, but the image persists as a powerful symbol of intellectual annihilation.
  • Invasion led by Hulegu Khan.
  • Fall of Baghdad marked the effective end of the Abbasid Caliphate.
  • Caliph al-Mustaʿṣim, the last Abbasid caliph, was captured and executed.
  • Destruction went beyond military conquest:
    • Massive loss of life
    • Widespread destruction of buildings and infrastructure
    • Systematic devastation of libraries, archives, and centers of learning
  • Represents a major rupture in the transmission of knowledge accumulated over centuries.
  • Interpreted not only as a military defeat, but as a civilizational shock.
  • Long-term impact on the intellectual history of the Islamic world and the wider Eurasian region.

Personal Notes
28.10.2025

Saddam Hussin

In 2000, Saddam Hussein did something very few people paid attention to.

He announced Iraq would start selling oil in euros, not U.S. dollars.

Three years later, the United States invaded Iraq.

No weapons of mass destruction were ever found.

But something else happened quietly.

Iraqi oil went right back to being priced in dollars.

Most people call that a coincidence.

I call it a lesson.

In 2009, Muammar Gaddafi proposed something even more dangerous.

A gold-backed African currency — the gold dinar.

It would have allowed African nations to buy oil without using dollars.

In 2011, NATO intervened in Libya for “humanitarian reasons.”

Gaddafi was killed.

The gold dinar disappeared.

Libyan oil? Back to dollars.

Another coincidence.

I’m noticing a pattern.

Go back further.

In 1971, President Nixon took the U.S. dollar off the gold standard.

The dollar was no longer backed by gold — only a promise.

By all historical logic, the dollar should have collapsed.

It didn’t.

Why?

Because three years later, Henry Kissinger cut a deal with Saudi Arabia.

The deal was simple:

Sell oil only in U.S. dollars, and the U.S. military will protect the regime.

From that moment on, every country on earth needed dollars to buy energy.

That wasn’t free-market economics.

That was force-backed monetary policy.

Or, more honestly, a protection racket.

And it works — as long as the military can enforce it.

Watch what happens when countries challenge it.

Russia demands rubles for natural gas?

Sanctions. Escalation.

Syria discusses pipelines priced outside the dollar system?

Civil war intensifies. Pipeline never happens.

Iran tries to sell oil outside the dollar?

Decades of sanctions.

I’m not saying these are good governments or bad governments.

I’m saying watch what happens when anyone threatens the petrodollar system.

Once you see it, the pattern isn’t subtle.

SWIFT is not a neutral payment system.

It’s a weapon.

Get cut off from SWIFT, and you’re locked out of global trade.

Russia.

Iran.

Cuba.

Venezuela.

Different politics. Same outcome.

They don’t teach this in school because it’s uncomfortable.

We don’t send 18-year-olds to die for “freedom.”

We send them to protect reserve currency status.

Currency funds the military.

The military protects the currency.

That’s how empires work.

Britain learned this the hard way.

The British pound was the world’s reserve currency for nearly 200 years.

After World War II, Britain lost reserve status.

Within two decades, the British Empire collapsed.

Same cycle.

Dutch guilder.

British pound.

Now the U.S. dollar.

Ray Dalio has been warning about this for years.

Late-stage empire looks like this:

• Military overextension
• Rising debt
• Currency weakening
• Rivals building alternatives

China’s Belt and Road isn’t charity.

It’s about creating debt relationships denominated in yuan.

BRICS aren’t talking about alternatives because they’re friends.

They’re building an exit ramp from dollar dependence.

When the dollar loses reserve status — not if, when — the ability to print money without consequences disappears.

- Then the military contracts.
- Then the empire ends.
- You can call this cynical.

I call it financial history.

Every war in my lifetime had a currency angle — if you knew where to look.

“Freedom and democracy” is the marketing.

The actual policy documents talk about

“maintaining dollar liquidity in global energy markets.”

I’m not anti-military.

I’m anti-bullshit.

If we’re sending people to fight.

We should at least be honest about why.


[C&P]



21.12.2025

Label

"Semua barang kita label. Kalau hilang tak jadi tuduh-tuduh sampai gaduh bertumbuk. Ada label pandai jaga sendiri. Kalau hilang orang jumpa tahu siapa punya"
"Tak terfikir kita"

24/12/2025
_

Labels and ownership. Not labeling personal items looks insignificant, but it causes loss, arguments, quiet resentment, and learned helplessness. A marker pen can prevent conflict.

[UNICEF, Child Wellbeing in Group Care, 2021]

Thursday, February 05, 2026

Best companion

“I fell in love with a man who loves museums. Honestly, they’re the best places for dates”
“Orang tak ramai, parking senang, masuk murah. Sejam lepak situ tak rasa. Boleh beli buku, tukar pandangan. Nasib Ara tak rasa boring”
“I was surprised too, the first time we went. But it felt so good being around you. I could feel your energy. I couldn’t wait to hear you speak”
“Those were good days”
“You’re still the best companion I ever had”

(Undated notes)
____

I came across these notes while searching for office documents. They made me smile. They brightened my day. Thank you for your kind words, Nurhara.

Wednesday, February 04, 2026

Memory

Just when I thought I was starting to forget those biting words, they would return like hallucinations, coming back to haunt me. Just when the memories seemed to fade into the distance, they would surge forward and inundate the next moment.

4 January 2026