I want to text you, but I'm worried that he might still be around or has changed your password, so you can't access the app. I just want to know if you are okay.
The business trip today isn’t going very well. My thoughts are entirely focused on you. I didn’t tell you my wife left me about a week ago. I'm feeling down.
I will carry this burden of guilt with me until the end. I am sorry, sayang. I wish I could turn back time and things didn’t happen the way they have now.
Thinking about you makes me so sad. Take care of your health and emotional. Get enough rest and eat properly. I'll always watch over you from afar.
The night we talked, I was crying because I felt sad. You became pregnant but are not carrying our baby. I waited so long to see this, cried, but hid it from you.
I want to ask if I can place my hand on your tummy just to feel what I have wanted to feel for so long. I want to hear the baby’s heartbeat, but I’m too shy to ask.
I am worried about you. You preoccupy my mind all day long. I don’t want to cause any trouble, so I need to go. I miss you so much. I really miss you, babe.
_
Hey little one,
I hope you are a boy. I wish to call myself your daddy, but you are not my child. Can you do me a favor? Please take care of your mommy when you arrive. You will face a lot of hardships, but you will succeed. Your mommy wants to name you after me, but I said no (partly because I'm afraid her friends still remember me). The real reason is that I fear your life might resemble mine, filled with obstacles. I don't want you to experience what I have gone through. I have loved you as if you were my own son. Be strong and insightful. Life will challenge you. Be ready but do not be afraid because your wonderful mommy will accompany you along the journey. I didn't have parents when I was born. Life was hard then and it still is now.
I've started counting down the days until your birth. I hope you arrive on April 12th, like your mommy, although she prefers an earlier date as she worries about the additional strain. Your due date is April 6, 2025.
I pray for you and your mommy every day. Be a good boy, okay?
P.S: I have changed certain sentences (your mommy doesn't like it). I like to delete my writing too (she gets furious each time I delete my posts on our blog).
P.P.S: I write "afraid" too many times (that's why I edit my writing). Even though you aren't born yet, don't be afraid of the world. The world will try to break you, but you are stronger than the world.
New York, USA
August 8, 2024 / 6:16 am