Your Endless Love

I am sorry if I made you worries. I am sorry for not be the real me for two days. I am out of mood. I have eaten my pills; I have taken my dinner just like you asked. I knew you are tired and need rest. Thank you for accompany me and shares short of stories.

Tomorrow you have class at 9am and spend your night at hospital. When you heading home, its half late night and I know you are thinking about bed. Your body extremely exhausted. Don’t be sorry honey. I get used with all this.

I feel your warm breathe. I hear you snoring. And I smile. On morning, when I tell you that you are snoring, I know you will say “No, I don’t”. Believe me honey. Yes, you are snoring but not the whole night.

Thanks for never ending support that you gave me. I really needed. You never fail to hold me up. Your love made me stronger.

Hug you tight.

I have more than left hand

1

My right hand is dysfunctional. I can’t even hold a glass of water. It is hard for me. I am about to lose another gift that HE gave me. HE wants to take back. And my eyes become more blurred. I can’t read for too long. I feel pain when my eyes grasp the light of laptop and lamps. My life becomes rough.

What else that I have? Only my left hand and lucky I am left handed. I know sooner or later I will lose this hand too…

2

I stop taking pills. I refuse to eat any medicine. Eating too many pills can’t make me feel better. I become worse with the side effects. You can say I have given up. That’s half truth.

3

I hate my wife’s college. Why should she have class on Sunday? She supposed be with me. Come on, [future] doctor also need a break both physical and mental.

4

Huda love arts. She likes drawing and painting. And now Huda has new hobbies. She learns how to make origami and miniature. These remind me to my young brother who is so artistic. Yes, I miss you Carl. I hope you live in peace there.

5

Besides playing games, Umar learns tarranum. I think he have opportunity to be next Imam Muda. My neighbours called him bilal kecil. Start from last month, he recites Quran from ustaz muda who volunteer to teach him without taking any fee.

6

I have more than left hand. I have her. I have my kids.

My Guardian Angel

I have problems with my laptop, needs to service and format. I didn’t write quit long because I lose my ability to write, to choose between words and write in proper sentences. I also have problem with my eyes. Every night I can’t sleep. My half part of body got cramped and my head still in pain. Every time I couldn’t breathe properly, I am afraid that was the last day I alive.

I love you very much. I love until death make us part. I pray God give me one more day to breathing. I wish I could give you more happiness. I want you in my arms, hold you close and feel your gasp. I pray I could give you bright future and spend our old days together.

Some said, I should stop fighting and let God handle the rest. They might think that is the best for me. They are wrong. I won’t stop fighting. I won’t...

When I lay beside you and looking to your face, I feel so in love. When I in pain and you touch my hand simply made me feel comfy. Your magic hands made me feel better. Thanks for always stay strong with me, honey. I love you with all my heart and soul. I love you the way you are. I always want to be your man, your protective man.

I am handicapped and you still want me in your life. I am half death and you still love me. I am lucky to have you in my life. There are no words to say how glad I am to have you in my life.

You’re my guardian angel.

Fatwa Pujangga

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