Lisbon — 16 May
I miss you. Thinking about you. Reading an email. Rereading old conversation—
“Satu masa nanti, awak pun kena lepaskan abang. Macam mana abang lepaskan awak dulu, macam tu la awak kena buat. Tuhan ajar kita untuk bercinta. Tuhan juga ajar kita untuk melepaskan”
“Melepaskan yang macamana...Kalau tak berjodoh...kenapa hati ni degil....”
(16 May 2024)
I shouldn’t rewind and replay those memories. I should store them somewhere far beyond my reach. But the feelings still come. Sometimes they arrive slowly, sometimes all at once. Not talking to you has been the hardest part of everything I’ve had to carry.
You know… honestly, sometimes you didn’t really treat me well, but I never truly cared. I just loved loving you. And if it was never returned in the same way, that was fine too. You became a part of me, like salt in the sea. It is inseparable.
Good night, love. I’m still working.
Sleep tight in his arms.