Well Ummi, I have a regret. I had some free time last night, but I didn't call her because I was too sad being on this island. I wanted to call her this morning, but Ara was around me. Ara has been seasick since we chartered the yacht, and I forgot to bring seasickness medication.
I planned to call her this evening, thinking she would be home by 5 pm. After Friday prayers, I checked my apps and saw that she was in trouble. I couldn't sit still, and all I could think about was whether she got caught. I sent her an email asking what happened.
She replied, "Hmm...tak boleh call dah...tak boleh dengar suara dah." When I asked if she got caught, she answered, "Entah eh...saya pun tak tau." It broke my heart. I was very sad, but I needed to stay calm. I kept reciting dua, hoping that nothing serious would happen to her.
If she didn't get caught by her husband and just wants to distance herself from me, that's fine as long as no one finds out what she's doing. She knows it's wrong, but she intends to end it. I believe Allah knows her intentions and will show her mercy. Allah is Ar-Raheem.
No more calls... I'll be sad. I used to climb to the rooftop to call her because it was the safest place in my house. I would also call her in the bathroom, pretending to take a shower so Ara wouldn't catch me cheating. Cheating takes a lot of energy, but I can't stop myself from wanting her.
Will this all just become a memory now? I would climb to the rooftop, even though I nearly slipped and fell a few times. It's midnight, Ummi. The atmosphere is so dark, and my eyes can't see clearly. I'll miss the bird chirping when we start our conversations. She likes the bird chirping.
She said she can't call me because she uninstalled the app. Maybe she doesn't want to tell the truth. Maybe not now. It's okay. I'll wait quietly for another chance to hear her voice. I hope I'll get to listen to my favorite sound once again someday. Her voice is like a love song to my ears.
I miss her even more…
Krabi International Airport
28 June 2024