Nothing feels normal anymore. Every moment is a reminder of her presence, and the weight of missing her is unbearable. Some people say that sometimes you have to accept the fact that certain things will never go back to the way they used to be.
It’s heart-wrenching to be away from the one I love. My heart belongs to her, but choosing to be with her feels impossible right now. I know where my feelings lie, yet here I am, stuck in a place where I can’t choose her. It’s a painful contradiction.
My world has become so quiet. I’ve lost the words to write. My mind is constantly whispering her name. Goethe said, "I have so much in me, and the feeling for her absorbs it all; I have so much, and without her it all comes to nothing." Without her, I am lost.
I’m trying to find peace, to let go of the things and people I can’t hold onto. I want to accept that what’s lost is gone, but my heart is my adversary. It clings to the hope of what once was and what could have been. Still, it longs for a future unwritten.
She’s just an ordinary girl, full of adventure and life. But in her presence, everything feels extraordinary. She turns my world upside down, and somehow, it feels beautiful. She makes me feel alive. I miss my home, and now it feels like it’s vanished...
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When the spring breeze comes,
I will go to the mountain and gather azaleas,
And send them to you.
But, alas, the azaleas bloom in vain,
With no one to share their beauty,
For the heart yearns for love that’s lost.
Azaleas by Kim So-wol: