Sunday, April 30, 2017

There are no goodbyes... not between us

Lama saya simpan surat ini. Surat yang seharusnya awak baca selepas ketiadaan saya. Tapi umur saya panjang dan awak tak dapat baca surat ini. Segalanya telah berubah, kan sayang? Sakit dan bahagia lebih manis dari sihat tapi tak gembira. 


There are things I want to say to you. That’s why I’ve decided to write you this letter. I want you to read after I’m gone. They’re not meant to be sad, just my chance to talk to you one more time. When I was healthy you made me happier than any person in this world. When I was half a world away, I knew that I was looking at the same sky you were, thinking of the same things you were, wanting to be with you and looking forward to I could be.

I want you to know that if I could stayed with you I would have. I fought as hard as I could. I want you to know that there is nothing more important to me than you. I loved you from the moment I saw you. And the best moment in my life was when you agreed to share your life with mine. I promised that I would always be there for you. And my love for you is so strong that even though I won’t be there physically. 

I will be there in every other way. I will watch over you. I will be there if you need to talk. I will never stop loving you. Not even death is powerful enough to overcome my feelings for you. My love for you is stronger than anything. You’re young and you have many years ahead of you. I’m talking about you finding someone else. I know you won’t to at first. You’ll even feel guilty about thinking about another man in your life but it has to be that way. 

I cannot allow you to go through the rest of your life alone. It’s not fair for you and it has nothing to do with the love we have for each other. It will not change that at all. It can’t. Our love is too strong. It will last forever. But there are many kind of love and people have the capacity to love many different people. You are a wonderful person and you can make someone else's life wonderful. Love is to be shared. 

And you have much love to share. It’s doesn’t mean you love me any less. And I certainly could never love you more than I already do. But in your heart you will find more love for someone else. And you will make him happy. And he will make you happy. Believe me, if it could be any other way I would make it so. But you have to deal with life as it comes. And I’m trying my best to do just that. I love you too much to accept anything less than your complete and total happiness. 

This isn't goodbye, okay. There are no goodbyes... not between us. ― S.C. Stephens



I'll always love you,
Abang