Cheap

I feel cheap, abang.

I feel horrible.

I am also over the moon.

I am so so elated.

I am so conflicted.

I feel cheap. I feel worthless. For wanting you. That way.

Make me disappear. Make me gone.

How would you feel if your wife is in contact with her ex like we are now? How would my husband feel?

But I am so happy being with you. Your words - a different kind of comfort.

Being with you just bring me so much joy. I dont even have words for it.

But I feel cheap.

This self-conscious is beating the crap out of me.

_

I would rather distance myself from you than hear you call yourself cheap. "Cheap" is a strong word, not only for a woman but also for a man. It makes me sad when you think of yourself that way. So, I choose to walk away. It's better for you to miss me and yearn for me than to be with me and feel depressed and overthink. I don't want to witness your confusion, self-conflict, and uncertainty about your worth. I think I should find a way to exit from your life. If I were gone, you wouldn't have those thoughts.