Ever since you left, I hate going to the hospital or seeing a doctor. It always reminds me of the first time you met him, and it really broke my heart. There are no words to describe how I feel. Accepting things as they are has been difficult, but I'm trying my best.
I have been dealing with depression, even now. When I get a headache or feel pain in my chest, it's all because of my depression (according to my doctor). I've been trying really hard to stay strong, and I've managed to overcome a tough time. It hasn't been easy, but I did it.
I don't really want to talk about this. This pain feels never-ending, and as you mentioned earlier, nothing matters anymore. What's in the past is gone. You have found happiness with your loved ones, and I am genuinely happy for you. Your happiness is my priority.
I take good care of my health by following a strict diet and exercising regularly. When it comes to my mind, I sometimes struggle to control it. It often wanders to the person who once held a special place in my heart, and it causes me to feel depressed.
I wasn't looking for you because you made your choice, and I respect that. I let you go when you said, "Kalau abang sayang sayang, lepaskan sayang" and I set you free forever. I want you to be happy, and you deserve someone who loves you better than I ever did.
"And if a thousand others love you, they will only love you a drop compared to my ocean of love for you." — Mahmoud Darwish
Marina Bay, Luzon
29-10-2023