It has been almost 3 years. I’m not sure whether you still remember or not, but when we were fighting, you decided to come here to Perhentian Island without telling me a single word. I was very sad at that time, thinking that I would lose you forever. What I had been afraid of came true - we broke up. We tried to save our relationship, but God’s plan was otherwise.
From that time until now, I always made excuses when Huda asked me to go diving on this island. You know, I hate this island so much. Every time I hear someone mention Perhentian Island, all I think about is you and our hard arguments. I felt so bad. I want to change that. So, I have decided to come here and build new memories, full of fun and happiness.
I came here to reflect on how blessed I am to have a girl named Nurhara in my life, to try a new ride of love, and to feel loved again. This planet that we live on is so wonderful if we can see what we have after struggling for so long. I always wanted to let go. I don’t want to keep any bitter memories. I want to free myself from the past. I really want to have a good life.
Like other people out there, I think life has so much to offer to all of us. We need to search for our own path. We need to figure out what we really want in our life. We still have the chance to choose our own journey. While I’m writing this, I am playing all of our favorite songs. I downloaded them again. Yes, that’s your favorite song. Your favorite song is my favorite song too.
It comes with thoughts about why I would delete all those songs when I always enjoy listening to them. I enjoy every line of lyrics. I enjoy the melody. I enjoy the rhythm of the song. I enjoy the music you introduced to me as much as I enjoyed having you as my companion. You and I are one and we can’t be separated. We are like salt in the ocean. We fell in love, we broke up, and we moved on together.
You have found your soulmate, I have found mine. We enjoy our new companions. We keep our deep love in our hearts. We know that we always have each other. We never truly separate. There is no separation in our love story. Sometimes we still miss each other and what we once had when we were still together. We can’t undo our life, nor can we reverse our hearts. We can only rewind all those sweet, loving memories.
How’s life after marriage? Is it still like a fairy tale? Is he treating you like a princess in a castle of love? I hope so. All I can do is pray that you will always have a happy life. Do make lots of cute babies. You always adored kids. Your happiness is my happiness. People say if we wish someone happiness, that is pure love. You’re my pure love and all I ever want is for you to be happy.
Did you go to Switzerland for your honeymoon? I brought the kids on a once-in-a-lifetime Swiss journey from Interlaken to Jungfraujoch by train. The journey was so amazing. I wish you were there with me riding on the train. How was your experience there? I’m sure everything was in order. You’re good at planning holiday trips. I hope you enjoyed your time at your most favorite place in the world with your loved ones.
You need to know I still miss you every single day. I believe you miss me too, sometimes, or maybe most of the time. I always liked to spell your name and you know it, but your name no longer belongs to me. No matter what you do, know that you’re always on my mind. You are so dear to me. There is a place in my heart where nobody can replace you. You are always special.
I will always love you. Be kind to your husband. He is the one for you. As for me, I will just slip into your heart and live there forever. There is no one like you in this world. You are one and only, my love at first sight, my forever love. Who knows, if God is willing, we will meet again someday on the busy roadside and say hello to each other. Maybe we will meet at the park carrying our first newborn babies. Nobody knows God's plan.
Until we meet again.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be.
(Goodbye My Lover - James Blunt)
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PS: The kids always ask for your wedding photos. Send your photo if you want to share your happy moment with me and the kids. We would love to see it.
PSS: I still enjoy writing to you. There is no such pleasure like writing letters to you.
Perhentian Island, Terengganu
4.00 pagi, 19 Ogos 2017